


Merry Ex-Mas

by Bluefire510



Category: Julie and The Phantoms (TV)
Genre: Adventures In Beat Up Band Van, Alex and Bobby: Chaotic Duo You Never Knew You Needed, Based off a cringy YA Novel, Character Development, Christmas AU, Christmas Music, Christmas fic, Exes to Friends to Lovers Again, F/M, Family, Fluff and Angst, Mild Language, Mischievous Carlos, Open Mic, Popular Girl Julie, Reggie Still Believes in Santa, Road Trips, Rockstar Hipster Luke, Romance, Snowball Fights, Thrift Store Shopping Spree, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Wedding Reception
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 16:47:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 106,880
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28170387
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bluefire510/pseuds/Bluefire510
Summary: “This can't be happening! How could Reggie let Carlos drag him into this? Why did he indulge Carlos about Santa? What good would it have done? Even when we came over, he was talking about Santa as if, as if he were-” Julie stopped abruptly. She turned to the boys, "Reggie does know that Santa's not real. Right?"Silence."Right?"They refused to look at her."You gotta be kidding me!""We didn't have the heart to tell him!" yelled Luke.----The one thing Julie Molina hates more than Christmas is Luke Patterson, her former boyfriend and current pain in the ass.But when her little brother and his best friend embark on a journey to the North Pole for Operation: Save Santa, she's forced to team up with her ex to wrangle them back home in time for Christmas.It goes as well as expected...Inspired by the book 'Ex-Mas' written by Kate Brian.
Relationships: Julie Molina/Luke Patterson
Comments: 345
Kudos: 402





	1. Molina Household

Chapter 1 ‘Molina Household'

Julie Molina had about 5 or so hours to put together the biggest party of her life. 

It was a chilly Los Angeles afternoon, just three days before Christmas, and she was set to throw the biggest bash her school has ever seen. 

Everything that she had been working towards since freshman year led to this moment: cementing her status as part of Los Feliz High’s elite. 

Yeah, she was already pretty popular if managing to become best friends with _the_ Carrie Wilson, daughter of rock icon Trevor Wilson, at the start of high school was any indication. 

But this was her chance to stand out on her own. 

And as luck would have it, Carrie’s dad was taking her on a trip to Tahoe, leaving the fate of the annual Christmas party up in the air and she had been the first to jump on the opportunity to have it at hers. 

Her dad was slated to go to Arizona for a photography gig last minute and her aunt was pulling doubles at the hospital for the holiday season, so she had the whole house to herself.

“Ju-lie!” 

Well, not exactly. 

Julie’s head snapped to the doorway of her bedroom, “What is it, Carlos?” 

Her younger brother leaned against the frame, arms crossed, “Bake cookies with me.” he practically demanded. 

“I’m busy,” 

“It’s tradition!” 

Julie rolled her eyes. She really didn’t do the whole Christmas thing anymore, he knew that. It was not her favorite time of year, contrary to most people’s feelings about the season. But she knew how utterly obsessed Carlos was with everything Christmas and the big man himself.

Ever since he was a kid, he had always been the most ardent Santa believer she’s ever met. He had even gone as far as to stage a sting operation, rigging the living room with cameras and motion sensors the previous year to catch a glimpse of Jolly Old St. Nick. 

It was ridiculous how much effort he put into such schemes. 

Sometimes she wished that Carlos got with the program already. Most kids his age had already stopped believing in Santa and did other things for Christmas that didn’t include baking snickerdoodles with their families. 

Yes, Julie was aware it was the Molina family tradition to pre-game these last few days leading up to Christmas with serial cookie baking of every kind, not just snickerdoodles. 

But she had no time, she had to fix the place up for her party and it was pointless to start baking when she was due to drop Carlos off at his friends’ house for a sleepover soon. (Another blessing from the party gods!). 

And it wasn’t like they had a good track record keeping up with tradition in this house. Not since- 

No.

She didn’t want to get into that. 

“Shouldn’t you be packing?” she marched up to the door and shoved him back into the hallway. 

“I’m already done. And now I want cookies to-go. You know dad doesn’t trust me with the oven all by myself,” 

“Not my fault that you messed up with shrinky dink instructions,” 

Carlos interlocked his fingers, busting out puppy dog eyes, “So help me then. It would be quick!” 

“Like I said, I’m busy,” 

“With what? We just got on break!” 

“I have reading to do,” And that wasn’t even a lie. Julie had nearly thrown a fit earlier today when her Econ teacher had passed out copies of some magazine article she wanted the class to annotate before returning in January. 

“Fine,” Carlos huffed, “But we will be in full holiday mode once I come back from Jake’s!” 

“Whatever,” And with that Julie slammed the door shut and proceeded to call an emergency planning meeting. 

Combing through her hair, making sure it was sleek and straight and _perfect_ , she sat on her bed and hit her friends up on video chat.

“How the hell am I going to wheel a keg up my steps?” was the first thing she said once the faces popped onto the screen. 

“No. _You_ don’t wheel kegs, sweetie,” Carrie, her best friend and queen bee of Los Feliz High, took up a quarter of her screen, “Cute, strong boys are going to carry it through the door for you.” 

Julie grinned, flopping onto her bed where her papers were scattered, the entire contents of her backpack having been emptied out the moment she came home from school. 

She sifted through the pile until she got her notebook, where she had been meticulously planning her very important party for the past month. 

“You’re so right!” Kayla, their other friend, squealed in the upper left corner. She was in her room already picking out the perfect outfit for the party, “Oh, speaking of which… Is Brad gonna come down to visit?” 

Julie nearly mirrored Kayla’s squeal at the mention of her boyfriend, but needed to exude some sort of nonchalance. But the thought of her college boyfriend driving down today to see her was exciting. 

“Yes! And it’s gonna be great! I haven’t seen him in weeks,” 

Brad had been Los Feliz’s golden boy, with his tall stature, clean cut handsomeness, and superstar athleticism. Julie had met him at a party Carrie hosted at hers. She had bumped into him, he offered her a drink, and the rest was history. 

She had been the envy of every girl ever since too. Julie certainly didn’t miss Kayla’s wistful gaze just now upon reminiscing on her man’s good looks, but she took it in stride. 

Julie knew how lucky she was to have landed such a guy. Her friends always made a point to tell her so. And the fact that they were still together even though he had already graduated and gone to Stanford prompted them to gush about how her and him were #couple goals. 

“Good thing he’s not out of state” Nick, her other best friend and Carrie’s boyfriend said from his square. He was currently out by his pool, sunglasses on. His sunny smile was enough to put Julie a bit more at ease under all the party planning stress. 

Carrie could be seen milling around her spacious bedroom, stuffing clothes into her Gucci suitcase, “And it won’t be long before you graduate and head up there to be with him,” she reminded, while performing the motion of going to NorCal with a flick of her scarf. 

“I’m so ready to get out of here and go to Stanford. You have no idea,” 

“What? No, really?” Kayla fake gasped. 

Nick rubbed his chin thoughtfully, “Nah, we hadn’t a smidge of a clue.”

“Shut up,” she laughed. She may have gone on and on about it, but she really couldn’t wait to get out of this house, take some time away from her overbearing family, and get to start her new life (and of course with Brad by her side). 

“Oh, what did you do for music?” Carrie asked, “Sorry for no Dirty Candy this year.” 

Carrie’s girl group would always do the same Mean Girls rendition of Jingle Bell Rock (outfits included) at the party. Julie never participated even when Carrie had asked her to join. The whole singing and dancing thing wasn’t her vibe. 

At least, not anymore. 

With their leader gone in Tahoe, Dirty Candy was out of commission. At least that was what Carrie said. Julie was fairly certain that Kayla and the others could carry out the rest of the performance no problem. 

But it was Carrie and they knew better than to argue. 

Julie ran through her list for music, “You know that kid in our a history class, the one with the-” 

“The piercings, like, everywhere?” Nick cut in. 

“Yeah, he’s a DJ. He did Jen’s Sweet 16th and -” she heard a _tsk tsk_ from Carrie’s box. 

Julie frowned, “Um...what’s wrong?” 

“What if people remembered him from Jen’s? They’re gonna think you’re copying or something,” 

“W-Would they think that?” 

“I’m just saying. Just in case,” 

“Right...” 

“I’m only trying to help, Julie. This is your first party,” 

“I know. Thank you,” Julie nodded, fighting to keep her self-assured smile on her face, but it was hard when Carrie kept making all these suggestions as if it was still her event to plan… 

But she was grateful. Really. This needed to go well. 

Nick sat up suddenly, “Hey, have you thought about getting, like, a band or something? That would be cool and different.” 

“It’s not an early 2000’s coming of age comedy, Nicky. Bands don’t really play at parties anymore,” Kayla laughed. She was in her walk-in closet, holding hangers of different dresses in front of her while the call commenced. 

Both Julie and Carrie shook their heads at her current choice, and she quickly tossed the rejected garment aside. 

“I mean, there’s that one that goes to our school. _Sunset_ … something? They have a good sound,” Nick continued. 

Julie’s smile dropped, “That’s a hard pass.” 

“How come?” 

“She’s having war flashbacks. Great job, Nick,” Kayla berated. 

“What? What did I say?” 

“She used to date that loser guitarist,” Carrie filled in, “That Patterson kid.” 

Julie inwardly cringed, “Do you think people still remember that?”

“For your sake, I hope not. But it was like middle school and stuff, right?” 

Yep. 

She and Luke Patterson, if she had to ever admit it (maybe at gunpoint), had been a thing. 

It had kind of been inevitable. Their families were close and they had been best friends (and only friends) for years prior to getting together during the last few years of middle school. They made it ‘til freshman year. 

That was when she wised up, and realized she could do _way_ better. 

Julie had a vision of who she wanted to be and what she wanted to accomplish and Luke, with his one track mind (and that track being music and looking like some grungy, rockstar wannabe hipster), didn’t fit into it. And that was that. 

To say it had been an amicable split would be an utter lie.

Fortunately, they ran in different circles that she didn’t have a chance to run into him. The few times they did, snide remarks and side-eyeing ensued. 

She would die if she had him and his rat pack perform at her party. They certainly didn’t match the vibe… 

“Yeah,” Julie said, trying to dispel the last of her musings on Luke from her mind, “Ancient history and best to stay there.” 

“Is it bad that I think he’s kinda hot?” 

Carrie scoffed at Kayla’s thirst showing, “Yeah if you like hobo-chic. He dresses like a homeless person.” 

“I’d really like it if we stopped talking about my ex, if you could even call him that. Let’s bring it back to the party!” 

Kayla laughed, “Right! What’s the setlist for tonight? The classics? Mariah? I’d like to formally put in my request for Ari’s ‘Santa Tell Me’” 

“No. There won’t be any Christmas songs at my party,” 

The three of them looked at her strangely. 

“Interesting choice,” Carrie said finally. 

“It’s just so…” Julie tried to ignore the blatant judgmental gazes, “I mean everybody would be expecting it. Gotta shake it up.”

“Hmm,” She saw Carrie form a half-smile, “Nice.” 

She was impressed with her forward thinking, and Julie swelled with pride. If only that had been her true reasoning behind the decision... 

“Alright, and I was thinking. Kayla, you’re still down to bring the food-”

_“JULIE!”_

Oh no. 

Carlos...

“Everything okay?” Nick’s concerned face drew close to the camera, as if he tried he could see what was going on downstairs. Carrie and Kayla were just as confused. 

A plastered smile stretched out her face, “Um… I will be right back!” 

She hastily ended the call, threw her phone onto her bed, and rushed downstairs, following Carlos’ frantic cries. 

To the kitchen. 

_“What did you do?!”_

She found Carlos playing with the mixer and somehow overfilled the bowl with too much flour, sending its dust flying and he was struggling to turn it off. 

Groaning, Julie sprang into action, unplugging the mixer and assessing the damage Carlos had done to the kitchen. 

“Look at this place! Are you kidding me, Carlos?” Spinning around she saw all of their whisks dunked in 3 bowls of eggs, the shells freckling the counters, sprinkled over the floor, flour-y handprints on the otherwise stainless fridge. 

“It’s T-minus 59 hours and 10 minutes til Christmas, Julie! I had to prepare!” was his defense, “Santa needs to eat!”

She was fuming and the sight of his face caked in flour was not helping. 

“This is the worst thing that could possibly happen. God, you’re so immature!” Julie tossed a dish towel at him, “Help me clean this up!” she rushed around, dumping out the mixtures into the sink. 

“Hey! Don’t get rid of that! We could still bake them!” 

“You must be crazy if you think I’m still going to bake with you!” she wiped the prints off the fridge, “Geez! How am I supposed to get this house ready for-” 

Carlos cocked his head to the side, “Ready for what?” 

“Nothing. You know what? Just, just go upstairs and change!” 

“But-” 

Julie couldn’t retain her annoyance any longer, “The sooner you go to Jake’s, the sooner you won’t be my problem. Now go!” she ended screaming, tossing the dirty dishes into the sink. 

Carlos threw the towel back at her in a fit, “You never do anything fun with me anymore!” 

He stomped angrily up the steps. 

_It’s fine_ , Julie told herself. 

Just a minor setback...

* * *

“Okay, you sure you’re okay with this?” Ray was in the foyer, his Lowell lighting kit and duffle bag blocking the doorway. 

Julie had been able to clean the kitchen in time for her dad’s arrival. He had been pretty booked this time of year and was just returning from another project. He had been there for a total of 5 minutes before he lugged down his equipment, ready to jet off to Arizona for the next gig. 

Julie leaned against the counter, “I’ll be fine, dad.” 

“I know this isn’t ideal. If I could be home with you kids, I would,” 

“Yeah. I know. But it’s your job. You need to do it,” 

Ray slipped on his coat. He walked over to Julie, pulling her in for a hug, “I just don’t like the idea… of leaving you alone. Especially now. This time of year…” 

“Yeah...” she sighed and gently split from the hug. Her dad winced at the aversion, but he didn’t pry. 

The front door opened and in walked her Tía Victoria, dressed in her scrubs, “Ray, dear, are you ready?”

“Just about. Need to get my stuff in the car,” He went off to handle that. 

Then it was her tía’s turn to tug Julie into an embrace, an even tighter one, “I will be here to check in on you when I can.”

“Thanks, tía,” 

Hopefully that wouldn’t be anytime soon. Her aunt could be… a little much. She would have moved in to keep an eye on her and Carlos if work allowed it. 

Julie helped pack up Victoria’s car. Her dad would be leaving his car for Julie to use. 

Oh how she wished she had a car of her own. She was the only one in her friend group without one. Sometimes, she thought her dad wouldn’t buy her one in fear that she would take it and split town the first chance she got. 

Telling from how he kept coming back inside to ‘check’ if he had left something, her dad wanted any excuse to have his daughter be at home with him and the family. 

“Anyways, we gotta get going if we’re gonna make it to the airport on time. And you’ll be taking Carlos to Jake’s soon?” She nodded, “Where is your brother anyway?” 

Her dad called up the stairs and Carlos came rushing down and hugged him, “I’m about to head out. Be good for your sister.” 

Carlos tossed a look back at Julie, a slight hint of a smirk on his face, before he faced their dad again. 

Something told her that he would be anything but good for the next three days...

“Ok. But dad, can I ask you something before you go?” 

“Sure. Anything,” 

“What’s a keg?” 

Julie’s eyes widened. She gripped the railing tight. _That little-_

“ _Mijo!_ ” And her tía just had to shuffle in at this moment. Her arms were crossed, looking at him sternly. 

Carlos had the audacity to look innocent, playing with his hands, “Is that bad or something?”

“No, no it’s just,” Ray stammered, “where did you hear that word?”

“I heard Julie say something about ‘wheeling a keg’ into the house tonight and wanted to know what it meant,” 

_“What?”_ The adults yelled. 

Julie wanted to kill Carlos. 

“ _Julianna Rosa Molina!_ ” Her tía glared, “Were you going to throw a party while your father was out of town?”

“No, I wasn’t!” she tried to remain composed, but Carlo’s shit-eating grin was setting her off, “He must have misheard me earlier! He was eavesdropping on a _private_ conversation!” 

“Nuh uh. She is planning a party. See!” Then Carlos pulled out her journal from his coat pocket and showed them her notes. 

Okay. 

Now _that_ was damning evidence. 

She was so utterly busted. 

And so utterly pissed at Carlos. 

“You went through my stuff?! Boundaries! Dad, tell him-” She stopped. Her dad had set down the journal after purusing the page, his expression stoic. 

“A party, Julie?” his voice was strained. He wasn’t angry like her aunt. 

He was disappointed. 

He looked at her like he didn’t know her. 

Because sweet Julie Molina years ago would never do this. Would never lie to her parents. 

But things changed. He should have known that. 

It didn’t stop her from feeling guilty. 

All the fight left her in that moment. She couldn’t deny it any more. 

Victoria read her the riot act, her voice rising and and shrill- but it was her dad’s silence that cut the deepest. 

“...And if you think he’s going to get you a car after this, then you’re greatly mistaken, young lady! Ray. Ray! Do something!” 

The man sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose, put into a tough spot. 

“Julie… you’re grounded,” 

“Grounded?” Her dad never grounded her.

“You will not leave this house while I’m away. And,” he took out his phone, “I will be calling Jake’s parents. There will be no sleepover. You are going to be watching Carlos tonight. No party,” 

“But Papí-” 

“ _No,_ ” The tone of his voice was so foreign to her that she had to take a step back, “I will know if you’re not in this house. I will be calling the landline and you will answer. Your tía would check on you when she can but you’ll need to learn responsibility, if you’re going to have your own car. If you’re going to attend Stanford next fall-” 

“I knew it. You’re punishing me for not staying local,” 

“Could you blame me, _mija_? For wanting my family close? After... after all we’ve been through?” 

The air in the foyer was heavier now, even Carlos, who had been smug before, was affected. He curled up within himself, sitting on the stairs. 

Ray checked his watch, “We will talk about this when I come back.” 

He bid a farewell. He took the keys to the car. No more hugs. 

He was out the door. 

Her tía gave her one last look. She seemed to want to say more, but she couldn’t. Not after what Ray had just alluded to. 

Or who he had alluded to. 

The door shut and Julie was on Carlos in seconds. 

For a moment, she towered over him, her hands clenching, her words coming out in infuriated grunts. He just had to, and not only was dad pissed, all of Julie’s unpleasant feelings surrounding this dreadful hollday were dredged up. 

And thanks to him, neither of them were going to do what they wanted to do. 

“You-!” She couldn’t form a sentence. She was that angry. 

Carlos didn’t quake, instead he had the nerve to appear satisfied. 

She reached for him but he had his arms crossed, staring at-no, more like challenging her. 

_If you do anything to me, I’ll call dad_ , his eyes conveyed, _Say goodbye to Stanford. Say goodbye to your car_. 

Oh really? He was going to be difficult? All because she wouldn’t bake cookies for Santa with him? 

Well, two could play this game. 

She sidestepped him and climbed up to her room. Pouncing on her bed, she rifled through the mess of papers on her sheets. And amidst the stray pages she found it- her assignment for Econ. 

She read the magazine headline: 

_S.O.S Save Our Santa:_

_Bezos’ Amazon Empire Could Put the North Pole Out of Business_

Perfect. It was worse than she remembered. 

She snatched up the paper, ran to the hallway, and dropped it over the railing where it fluttered onto the sitting Carlos’ lap. He picked up the article, eyes widening. 

Not caring if she had completely obliterated his world of make belief, Julie stalked back to her room. 

“ _Merry freakin’ Christmas, Carlos!_ ” She hollered before slamming the door. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all.
> 
> Coming at ya with a Christmas fic.
> 
> Hopefully this would get done by Christmas.
> 
> But I highly doubt that.
> 
> I had trouble getting it going due to writing Julie's character the way she is (mostly to resemble the character from the Ex-Mas story), but it would be justified later on and hopefully, being influenced by Julie's journey on the show, it would add more depth.
> 
> Hope you enjoy these first few installments!


	2. Wilson Household

Chapter 2 'Wilson Household'

_Party’s not happening,_ Julie texted the group. 

Her life was over. 

Her social career for the rest of senior year hinged on this party. And thanks to Carlos, she didn’t think she could ever show her face at school in January. 

KK: _OMG. WTF?!_

Care-Bear: _um… what?_

Nickypoo: _everything ok?_

She floundered onto her bed, typing out her response: _bro spilled beans. grounded._

KK: _call rn!!!_

Care-Bear: _can’t. heading out on chopper. sorry julie._

Nickypoo: _have a safe flight bb!!_

Julie was about to summon her remaining friends for another video call when Shawn Mendes started playing and a picture of Brad popped up. 

She quickly switched back to the group chat: _bae’s calling!_

KK: _oooooh!!!!_

Nickypoo: _ttyl :)_

Then Julie took a couple of deep breaths before answering, “Babe, hey!”

Brad’s voice came through and it was the most welcoming sound, “Hey hey hey! How’s my girl doing?” 

Julie opened her mouth, about to put on a brave face and say ‘Fine. Just fine’, but the toll of what transpired earlier left her feeling frustrated and disgruntled. 

“Honestly, not so hot. The party is a bust,” 

“What? Really?” 

“Yeah. Dad caught me. And he grounded me!” 

She could hear Brad choke back his surprise, “Are we talking about the same Mr. Molina here? Big Teddy Bear Ray?”

Brad had been over enough times to have a pretty accurate read of her dad. Her dad was indeed a teddy bear. Rarely raised his voice. Or dished out punishments. 

And he did both today. All because of her. 

No, she told herself, all because of Carlos. 

It would have gone swimmingly if he hadn’t interfered. 

“I know right! He was so uptight today. Like I never saw him like that,” 

“Damn. Sorry to hear babe,” 

She tried to block out her father’s reproachful gaze from her mind. 

_Just think about Brad, Jules._

His silky blonde hair and how good it would feel to run her hands through it, kissing him sweetly, and holding him tight. The only thing that would be able to turn this whole unfortunate day around. 

Only some hours now. 

“It’s okay. At least I’m looking forward to you coming down tonight. Maybe I’ll sneak you over once Carlos is asleep. Been missing you so much,” 

“I miss you too,” He sighed on the other end, “But listen, I called for a reason...” 

“Yeah?”

“I won’t be able to go back home tonight,”

And yet another bomb dropped. 

“What?” she tried to conceal the disappointment in her voice, but she was already emotionally compromised. And this, _this_ , didn’t help. At all. 

“My professor slammed me with a surprise take home final and I need to get it done. I’ve been at the library for hours and just now been able to take a break and call you,” 

“When- when are you able to come home?”

“Not til Christmas Eve,” 

“Oh,” 

“I’m so so sorry. I’d be there if I could,” 

“I know,” She traced the flower patterns on her comforter, “Just concentrate on your finals, baby. We’ll figure this out.” 

“We will. Gotta motor. Talk to you later?” 

“Yeah. Love you,”

“Love you too,” 

She hung up. 

Great. Just great. 

As if Christmases weren’t already so difficult for her. She had always been able to count on Brad to keep her holiday blues away. Whenever it all got too much, he would always take her out- to movies, dates at the park, parties... 

There was something about not being alone during this time of year that made it all more bearable. 

And now, he wasn’t coming home. 

And she was forced to stay in and babysit her menace of a brother instead. 

She received a text from Kayla, urging her to call. Collecting herself once more, she pressed the button. 

Kayla’s face popped up. She was sitting on the floor of her closet, and there hanging on a hook in the back was the dress she was supposed to wear for tonight’s occasion. Shame. It was really pretty too. 

“We need to figure out this party issue,” 

Julie groaned, “What’s there to figure out?” 

She already decided not to tell Kayla about what went down with Brad. It was common knowledge that she was the biggest gossip. Julie adored her, but she was smart enough to not spill her relationship woes to her. 

Imagine the talk, that Los Feliz’s power couple were having problems? 

“We can’t cancel it. You know how important this party is. For us,” The us, being their group. How it was integral to all of their reputations. 

“But what am I supposed to do? I wouldn’t be able to answer the home phone if I have a party going on. I’ll get found out!” And besides, Julie didn’t feel up to lying to her dad yet again. She probably wouldn’t be able to anyway...

“I know, I know. Look, I have a solution,” 

“Lay it on me,” 

“We can have it at my place,” 

“Oh,” 

Kayla grimaced, rubbing her hands together nervously, “Is that insensitive? Sorry, I mean, it’s just you worked so hard. All that planning. It would go to waste. It would still be _your_ party, J. Just a change of venue.” 

Julie was listening to what Kayla was saying and logistically, it would make sense to have it at Kayla’s. Her parents were rarely home- they were away on business as they speak. Julie had detailed the party planning to her numerous times, so Kayla knew who to call, what needed to be set up. 

“A party, Kay, that I can’t go to,” God, she sounded so selfish. She shouldn’t worry about whether or not who got the glory, but it would have been on Julie if there wasn’t a party at all. 

“We’ll video call? And take lots of pictures?” 

That would almost make it worse.

But it was out of her hands now. The show must go on. 

“Yeah. That would be great. I’ll send you the last minute stuff that I was working on,” 

Then there was that signature squeal, “Thank you, Julie!” 

They hung up not too long after that, with Kayla claiming that she was a savior, and that everyone was going to remember her for this. 

Yeah right. 

Julie was so goddamn tired from this whole ordeal that was the last few hours. 

And she was hungry. 

She tentatively cracked the door open and tiptoed into the hallway. She spared a peek over the railing to see if Carlos was still on the stairs, but he must have gone to his room. 

Julie made a beeline for the kitchen, straight to the freezer, and retrieved the tub of rainbow sherbet. She grabbed a spoon from the drawer and stuck it in the dessert. 

It was officially one of those days. 

Fifteen minutes later, and an empty tub later, Julie sluggishly crossed the kitchen, ready to take a nap on the couch when the landline rang. 

Sobering up, she let out some burps before she answered it, thinking it was her dad’s first of many check in calls, “Dad?” 

“It ain’t daddio, Molina!” 

Julie’s shoulders slumped, relaxing, “Oh, hey Reggie.” 

Reggie was a guy who went to her school but was also Carlos’ math tutor. She found it weird that he was calling them up now that they were on break. But then again they were on the same dorky wavelength, so this was probably more of a social call rather than one to talk about his pre-algebra performance. 

They exchanged pleasantries, before Reggie got to the point, “I have a gift for Carlos. I figured this would be the best time to give it to him.” 

“That’s sweet of you, just drop it off whenever,” 

Reggie clicked his tongue, “Thing is, I’m at a friend’s place right now and can’t exactly skip out. And I wouldn’t be able to come by until after Christmas and I am a firm believer of receiving presents before and/or the day of Christmas.” 

“I don’t know, we can’t leave the house.” 

“Not even for a little bit?” 

“Well…” 

“Please, Julie?” She could hear the puppy dog eyes on the other line. Was that where Carlos learned it?

After some time had passed, Julie began to feel guilty for retaliating with her ‘Santa is in Danger’ shtick. Yeah, Carlos totally crossed the line- invading her privacy, ratting her out, ruining her life. 

But she knew that he was probably going to be in some funk for the next three days. He could be totally sulking or totally irate. There was no in between. 

A trip to see Reggie could calm him down. At least for a little while. 

It would definitely make watching him easier. 

“Can I walk there?” 

“Uh…” he hummed, mentally mapping probably, “Yup. Won’t take you too long.” 

She relented, “5 minutes max, Peters. I’m warning you.” 

“Sweet, lemme give you the address...” 

* * *

Julie and Carlos walked in silence to Reggie’s friend’s place. 

It didn’t take too much convincing to get Carlos to join her. He loved Reggie, acted like the guy was his older brother. He wouldn’t pass this up. 

She thought she could get away without addressing the magazine article. 

But right when they headed up the last street, Carlos had to hit her with a “Do you know the fastest time Amazon can deliver a package?” 

She shrugged. 

“1 to 2 hours,” 

“Wow,” 

“And they have their own planes. Their own drones. They can deliver things in seconds,” 

“It’s pretty crazy stuff,” she commented. It really was. 

“I hear people say that getting Amazon packages is like Christmas came early. And people get Amazon packages everyday. Everyday is like Christmas,” 

“Isn’t that.. I don’t know, a good thing?” 

“Then what’s going to make Christmas stand out from everyday-Christmas? People wouldn’t have to wait around a whole year for Santa to give them what they want when they could just get it delivered to their house in 1 to 2 hours with Prime Now!” Carlos ranted, throwing his hands up, “No one’s gonna believe in Santa anymore and he’ll be gone. Out of business.” 

“Carlos, I don’t think Santa is gonna go out of business,” 

“How do you know?” 

“I- well… I mean he’s Santa,” she explained lamely. 

“Yeah, but he runs on belief. He’ll disappear if he not enough people believe in him,” 

“People will still believe in him,” 

“Do you?” 

“Erm, what?” 

“Do you still believe in Santa?”

Geez, her brother was really worked up about this, like buzzing with anxious energy that she was starting to get concerned. 

Should she- should she just tell him? Rip off the band-aid quick? Should she just come and say ‘Don’t worry about Amazon bankrupting the North Pole because Santa is as real as Carrie’s nose?’ 

Before she could figure out how to handle this delicate situation, they found the house. 

Well, more like they heard it before they saw it. 

The sound of drums and guitar drew them to the garage first. The Molina siblings trooped up the driveway and cautiously knocked on the double doors. 

Reggie’s head popped out, all smiles. He brought his finger to his lips before ushering them inside, as to not interrupt. 

To Julie’s surprise, the door swung open to reveal Reggie bearing a bass. She wasn’t aware he played. 

But the surprise didn’t stop there. They walked in while the rest of the band rocked on, keeping a hold on Carlos’ shoulders so he wouldn’t wander far. 

Julie took in the drums, and the tall blonde guy, who bore faint resemblance to Brad, but she knew him to be Alex from her history class. Turning, she caught the eye of one of the guitarists. He had jet black hair and definitely gave off Jack White vibes but with red suspenders. 

But there was another guitarist, one whose back was facing her, who was not aware yet of two new presence. He was bouncing around, kicking his left foot a lot, often to punctuate the chord changes. 

Dread pooled at the pit of Julie’s stomach. 

It had been years, but she could pick out that playing anywhere. 

He turned, his wooly brown hair nearly grown to conceal those cursed hazel eyes- the same eyes that grew to a comical size at the sight of her here in the garage. 

Of course. Her bad luck continued. 

The band that Reggie was in just had to be Luke’s. 

Julie didn’t miss the way his jaw clenched when he saw it was her. Good to know that she wasn’t the only one unhappy about these turn of events. 

They finished their song. And Luke set down his electric oh so carefully on its stand. 

That guy treated his guitars like they were his babies, cradling them as such and even attending to them with the same level of care. 

Always so obsessed. It used to drive Julie nuts. 

The rest of the boys left their instruments and stood in the center of the garage, taking in their surprise visitors. 

“Thanks for coming, little man!” Reggie, now without having to worry about the music, rushed over to conduct his and Carlos’ secret handshake. 

“You didn’t tell me you were in a band!” Her brother voiced her thoughts, but in a way more thrilled tone. 

“Well, I’d like to keep business and pleasure separate,” 

Alex made a face, “Dude, you’re a tutor.” 

“And I get paid, so it’s a business,” The bassist shot back, “Anyways, guys, this is Julie and Carlos, if you already hadn’t met them.” 

Luke coughed out a cruel laugh and the other guitarist smacked him upside the head. Rubbing his injury, Luke actually acknowledged Carlos, giving a half grin. Carlos waved at him. He must have remembered Luke from years ago. 

The other guitarist went to shake her hand, “I’m Bobby. Hey,” 

She took it, trying not to glance over at Luke as she did. She could feel his eyes boring into her skull. So, she focused on Bobby and the longer she stared at him, the more he became familiar to her.

“Wait. Aren’t you Carrie’s cousin?” 

The boy laughed, “Unfortunately.” 

“Anyways,” Reggie continued, not realizing the awkwardness in the air, “I got your present in the house, Carlos. Not sure if it’s going to be as good as what the Big Guy is gonna get you- oh you know him and his mysterious ways- but hopefully you’ll like it!” 

Julie let Carlos follow Reggie into the house, which she later learned was Bobby’s. 

Carlos had swiftly joined Reggie’s side. He tugged on his arm and the teenager leaned over so he could whisper into his ear. 

The two shared a serious expression before running into the house. 

She didn’t want to read too much into whatever _that_ was. Those two always had their own secret language. 

Luke finally got the nerve to greet her,“Julie.” 

“Luke” she replied, her tone clipped. 

He made the show of giving her a once over, “Wow. I almost didn’t recognize you.” 

Right, because when they used to date, when they used to be friends in fact, she had been the bespectacled, baggy sweater toting, frizzy-haired freak Julie Molina. 

Subconsciously, she smoothed out her hair, “I like to change it up.” 

“Yeah. You’ve… definitely changed,” And inferring from Luke’s tone, he didn’t mean for that to be positive...

“And you…” She made sure to give him the same elevator eyes treatment, frowning at what she saw:

His _Ramones_ T-shirt, obscenely cut so that it was barely holding against his torso, the same baggy jeans that Julie was certain he wore in freshman year (the stains in the same places too- ew), his Vans scuffed, dirty, and never tied properly. 

Carrie was right. Hobo- chic was an apt descriptor. 

“...look exactly the same,” 

“I don’t have the privilege of wearing Carrie Wilson’s hand-me-downs,” 

She laughed airily, “Not you speaking, Patterson- the guy whose entire wardrobe is hand-me-downs.” 

“This,” he pinched his cutoffs, “has character, I’ll have you know.” 

“Hm… a personality band-tees doth not make,” 

“Funny. Considering you got this for me. A matching set, if I remember correctly,” 

“I got rid of mine. Like I do with all the _old_ , _ratty_ things that no longer have use to me,” 

“Because things are supposed to have ‘use’ to you, don’t they?” And with a-not-so-nice smile, he turned around and paid her no mind. Back to tuning his guitar. 

“So Julie!” Alex decided to ease the tension, “I hear you’re having a party tonight. That’s cool. Real cool.” 

“Yeah...it’s moved to Kayla’s now actually,” she informed him, with a slight edge to her voice, “Why? Looking for an invite?” 

“ _Weell-_ ” 

“No,” Luke cut in, eyes not leaving his guitar, “He’s not.”

Such a Patterson move. Thinking he knew what was best for everyone. 

Julie ignored him, “It’s gonna be a good time, Alex. But I gotta warn you that there’s no Dirty Candy this year.” 

Bobby and Luke zeroed in on their drummer. 

“Psh,” Alex waved off, his voice now a high pitched. “why would- why would I care if Dirty Candy’s there?” 

“You were telling me just last week that you tried to memorize their choreo-” 

“Umm. Did I say that? I think you must be mistaken-”

“Dude, you like their stuff?” Bobby was trying hard not to laugh. 

“It’s catchy, alright!” 

“Bro, really?” 

“I don’t judge _you_ for _your_ guilty pleasures!” 

“But Blackpink is leagues better than Dirty Candy!” Bobby retorted. 

“I can still enjoy it!” 

“My cousin’s glitter brigade shouldn’t appeal to you that much-” 

The two kept bickering and Julie regretted being cordial. 

A slight chill from the still opened doors made her shiver. She didn’t have time to grab a coat, thinking her sweater was enough to weather the LA winter. 

Luke noted this, “Cold, princess?” 

“No, just shuddering at the thought of being here with you longer than I have to.” 

They traded barb-wired smiles once more, but oh how she wanted to go over there and slap it off his face. Seeing him today made her remember why they didn’t work- all the fights, Luke being so incessantly in her business, always pushing. He shouldn’t blame her when she finally pushed back. 

And when she finally pushed him away. 

Clearly, it had been the best decision. They ended up with their own group of friends and they didn’t have to navigate the minefield that was the other person. Problem solved. 

“Okay!” Bobby clapped his hands, concluding his and Alex’s tiff, “I, for one, would like to see what is taking Reggie so long. He’s supposed to bring us some soda too.” 

“Gotta fuel up. A real asset for these long, grueling-” Alex playfully glowered at Luke, “-and totally ‘necessary’ rehearsals. We have a gig in a couple days.” 

“We need to be our best, boys,” 

“And we will be. Just need some 7Up to get me through the next few hours,” 

“Soda? Really?”

All three of them turned to stare at her. 

“I wouldn’t call carbonated syrup an asset. Especially if you’re singing,” She explained. 

Blank looks. 

“It’ll dry out your vocal chords?” she tried again. Then she caught a whiff of a pizza somewhere not too far from her, “Cheese too? That’s worse. Mucus buildup.” 

Alex clutched at his throat, experiencing an epiphany, “That… explains so much.” 

“Water it is then,” Bobby took a swig from a nearby bottle and Alex followed suit, both of them downing the whole thing. 

Luke glowered at his bandmates before turning to Julie, “You don’t get to come in here and tell us how to run our rehearsal.” 

“It was just a suggestion,”

“Thanks, but no thanks. You already had your chance for your input to matter around here,”

Bobby frowned, looking between the former couple, “What do you mean-?” 

“Well this has been fun!” Julie interrupted, backpedaling to the entrance, “Nice to… catch up. But Carlos and I really have to get going.” 

The sooner she could find her brother, the sooner she’ll be able to put enough distance between her and Luke Patterson. She gestured at the house “Is it cool if I just-?” 

Bobby nodded, “Yeah, just walk right in.” 

“Thanks,” 

Julie ran up the garden steps leading to the back entrance of Bobby’s house. The door led into the kitchen but no sight of Carlos or Reggie at the table or counter. 

She scurried around the first floor, hoping to catch them in the living room, exchanging gifts but it was empty. 

Huh. 

“Carlos? Reggie?” she called as she circled the foyer, “Where are you guys?” 

Julie explored more of Bobby’s house, was able to find the bathroom, which was a bust. She even checked outside the window, to see if they were out on the front lawn. The street was empty apart from a car that just disappeared around the corner. 

Panic swelled inside her. 

_Where they hell were they?_

Julie booked it for the garage, walking into yet another in-band argument: 

“We are not playing ‘Don’t Shoot Me, Santa’” 

“It’d be funny. And it’s the Killers,” 

“Reggie hates that song,

“Because of a gun wielding Santa out to kill someone?” 

“Duh,” 

“What if we switch up the roles?- ‘I’m Gonna Kill Santa Claus’?”

“We’d have to completely do a whole new arrangement. That song’s not our vibe,”

“We are sticking with our planned setlist, and that’s final!” 

Alex was the first to notice Julie and her worried expression, “Woah, woah. What’s up?” 

“I can’t find Carlos,” 

“Maybe he and Reggie are playing a game of hide n seek?” Every head turned to Bobby, “C’mon. It’s _Reggie_.” 

“And it’s Carlos. He’s 11, not 5” she said. 

“11? Already?” Luke was shocked, probably now realizing that the little kid he used to see whenever he would hang out at the Molinas’ was not so little anymore. 

“We’ll help you look. They’re probably just messing with us,” 

The four of them returned to the house, where the search extended to all areas and all floors. Julie mostly stuck to the living room, rummaging through the cushions in case he was… hiding there? 

“Over here!” 

Everyone converged at the kitchen from where Alex shouted. She was disappointed to not find Carlos but Alex holding up a piece of paper. 

“Was Reggie gonna tutor Carlos today?” 

“Dude. We were rehearsing,” Luke said, out of breath from checking the entirety of the second floor with Bobby. 

“Yeah. Just want to make sure because this-” He handed Julie the paper, filled with numbers and basic addition, “wasn’t here before. And I don’t think it’s about pre-algebra.” 

“Reggie’s a math whizz but god forbid when it comes to simple calculations...” 

“What could these numbers mean?” 

“Hey. My dad’s office is open,” Bobby had frayed from the group and pointed to a set of doors that Julie didn’t get the chance to check yet, “No one looked in here yet?” 

They all crept inside, continuing the search. A flash of green and red flagged their attention. There on the desk, in front of a computer monitor, was a wrapped present, tied with a ribbon- 

Carlos’ gift.

“What were they doing in here? My dad would kill them if he knew they were here,” 

“Wait,” Luke pointed to the monitor, “Check this out.” 

They all huddled around the screen. A browser was left open with multiple tabs. Bobby clicked through them- one was a Wikipedia page for Santa Clause. Then another one for the North Pole. 

The third tab was Google Maps, plotting a course from Los Angeles… to the North Pole. 

“Oh my god,” Julie breathed. 

Alex ran a hand through his hair, “You don’t think-?” 

Then Bobby pulled up the fourth and final tab. 

It was the Amtrak website. 

Confirmation for two tickets to Seattle. Booked for today. 

_“No, no, no, no,”_ She made Bobby switch tabs, back to Google Maps then at the Amtrak site, “God, please no.” She compared the travel time to the numbers on Reggie’s scrap of paper. 

They matched. He had been calculating how long it would take to get to the North Pole and back. 

She nearly crumpled up the paper in a fit of madness but she noticed writing on the back of it. 

Flipping it over, a message, in messier writing (Carlos’ no doubt), was scrawled out: 

_WE'RE GOING TO THE NORTH POLE TO SAVE SANTA--BACK IN TIME FOR XMAS_

Save… Santa. 

_S.O.S Save Our Santa_ , the headline flashed through Julie’s mind.

Crap. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Songs Referenced:
> 
> 'Don't Shoot Me, Santa'- The Killers  
> 'I'm Gonna Kill Santa Claus'- Danny Gonzalez


	3. Simi Valley

Chapter 3 'Simi Valley'

“You told him _what?!_ ”

Julie had to let the boys know about what she did, about how Carlos ruined her party and how she made Carlos think Santa was experiencing a crisis and needed saving as payback. 

Of course, it made her look like a heartless, vindictive bitch and Luke looked like he was this close to telling her so. 

Instead, after she spilled the beans, Luke stormed out of the office and collapsed onto the living room couch, burying his face into his hands, “Reggie, why?” he mumbled into his fingers 

Julie growled and dug her fingers into her scalp, anticipating a blood vessel in her head to pop. 

Carlos was gone. 

He ran off. Right under her nose. 

It was bad enough that they were out of the house when they weren’t supposed to. Now her brother was missing and trekking to the North Pole!

How was she going to explain this to her dad? She was supposed to keep an eye on him!

Oh god. She couldn’t bear to imagine the look on his face when he found out. She had already seen him at his lowest lows, years ago right after _it_ happened. She never wanted to put him in that position ever again. 

Meanwhile, Alex was also not taking the news so well. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my GOD!” the blonde muttered frantically, pacing the entire length of the office, “They’re really gone. Like gone off to the North Pole-” 

“C’mon. They won’t be able to get that far!” Julie said, mostly trying to reassure herself, “It’s- it’s impossible!”

“It’s not gonna stop them from trying! Not gonna stop them from hopping on a train and leaving!” 

The thought of Carlos boarding a train had her breathing heavy. 

“You’re freaking me out more, Alex!” 

“I’m sorry!”

Julie had to step in and guide Alex to the living room, “We need to figure this out!” 

“Right. Right,” He followed her, but continued his pacing there too. 

“How did they get out of the house so fast?” Bobby wondered, the last one to leave the office. He had been on the computer to see if he could find out more. He confirmed that the printer had been used, presumably to print out the tickets. 

“Reggie must have called an Uber,” Luke assumed. 

The car. From earlier. The one driving away when Julie looked outside. 

“I saw it. It left like 5 minutes ago!” 

Luke stood up, “And you didn’t see if they were in there?”

“I’m sorry for assuming my brother would be right where he says he is!” 

“Clearly you don’t know kids,” 

“Please, I’ve had my fair experiences with rowdy prepubescent boys growing up thank you very much,” Julie side-eyed Luke, obviously citing the many times Luke would run about the Molina’s residence, hopping over the banister and nearly breaking his arm in the process. 

Luke narrowed his eyes, “And yet you’ve learned nothing!” 

“Can’t you call your brother?” Bobby calmly suggested. 

“He totaled his phone last week. And it’s not like he would listen to me if I did call-” Julie’s hand flew to her back pocket. 

It was empty. 

“He stole my phone!” Carlos was so dead. She glared at Luke, “Call Reggie. Tell him to get his ass back here with my brother!”

Luke whipped out his phone and tried to reach Reggie. A few rings later, he frowned, “No answer.” 

Julie couldn’t believe that Carlos would just leave! And worse, that Reggie was a part of it! The guy may have been a bit of a goofball, but he did have some sense, right? 

Like, why would he let this happen? How could he have let this happen? He was supposed to be the figure of authority out of the two of them!

“This can't be happening! How could Reggie let Carlos drag him into this? Why did he indulge Carlos about Santa? What good would it have done? Even when we came over, he was talking about Santa as if, as if he were-”

Julie stopped abruptly. She turned to the boys, "Reggie does know that Santa's not real. Right?"

Silence.

_"Right?"_

They refused to look at her.

"You gotta be kidding me!"

"We didn't have the heart to tell him!" yelled Luke.

Perfect. Just perfect. 

“So he really believes that they’re going to _save Santa_? He’s encouraging this?” 

“Unfortunately,” Bobby muttered. 

“Great,” 

“Okay. You know what?” Luke snapped his fingers, “We know where they’re going. Let’s just catch up to him,” he held his palm out to Bobby, “If you will, Sir Robert?”

The other boy procured a set of keys from his pocket and dropped it into Luke’s waiting hand. 

“I’ll go get them. No problem. _No problem._ There is no problem! Right?” he was clearly in denial. They all were. But he was pretending as if nothing was amiss. He even smiled. 

“We’re coming with,” Alex grabbed his coat and Bobby was almost out the front door. 

“Boys. This is just Reggie being Reggie. A small lapse of judgment. It’d be a hassle to bring everyone when I’m only gonna be gone like 20 minutes tops,” He clapped his friends on the shoulder, “Just keep rehearsing. We’re so close to nailing ‘Bright’.” 

They both wanted to argue, but they needed to hold down the fort. Julie could see what Luke was doing. If they all went, then it would only make the situation that much more dire. Just best to pretend that they were merely picking Reggie up from an errand and that they would go right back to normal. 

“Fine. But call us if anything happens,” 

“Just...just bring him home, Luke,”

“I will. Both of them,” he directed the last part to Julie as a courtesy. She nearly thanked him, but he was too quick to leave the house. 

But did Luke expect them all, her included, to stay here and twiddle their thumbs while he was off to save the day? With no phone, no way of contacting Carlos, she needed to make sure he was okay. 

She couldn’t wait. 

Her feet led her to the garage, just only a few steps behind Luke.

He was a ball of energy, always had been, even when he was surveying the garage for his coat, he did it with a hop and skip, like he was dancing to some song playing in his head. 

She tailed him as he slipped on his outerwear and crossed the street, where an aging, dented van was parked. 

Julie hustled over to the side, alerting Luke of her existence. 

He stalled, “Can I help you?” 

“Unlock the door,” 

“So you’ll do what?” 

“Come with,” 

“I was afraid you were gonna say that,” 

“That’s my brother. In case you forgot. I need to be there to wring his neck and drag him back home, kicking and screaming. It’s part of the older sister code.” 

Luke unlocked the driver’s door, manually with the key (how old was this hunk of metal?), “And you say I’m violent with my imagination. Maybe you shouldn’t come, for Carlos’ safety- woah, what are you doin’?” 

Julie had joined him on his side, pushed passed him and crawled inside, in a totally undignified manner, until she was in the passenger seat. 

“We’re wasting time. I wouldn’t be in a smelly old van with you if it wasn’t totally necessary,” she clicked in her seatbelt and motioned for him to do the same, “Don’t you want to get back to rehearsal?”

Luke stood there, dumbly, for a minute. Then slowly slid into the driver’s seat and buckled in. 

“Just drive,”

He turned the key in the ignition, shaking his head, “Aye aye, boss.” he said sarcastically under his breath. 

* * *

They missed it. 

The train. It had already left. 

Julie blamed Luke. He had insisted on not taking the freeway when driving to the station (“Have faith” he had told her)

When she and Luke broke through the station doors and found the departure times, after looking up their train on Luke’s phone, they realized they were late by only a few minutes. 

“Call them,” Julie held onto hope. The boys could have either just barely made their train or missed it completely, maybe still on the road in their Uber. 

Luke attempted to contact Reggie again but with the same results, “I think his is dead.” Then he scrolled through his contacts and made a call. 

Julie stared at him, curiously. “You still have my number?”

“You didn’t change it did you?” 

“Um, no. No I didn’t,” she stammered. 

He had tapped the screen to allow for the speaker feature. When he angled the phone so they could wait until someone picked up, Julie flushed at the sight of the contact photo. 

It was a candid of her, her curly hair half braided but mostly a mess, in a mid-spin. Julie remembered when this photo was taken, it was right after Luke had showed her a song he was working on: 

_“Hey!” Luke laid his acoustic onto her bed. He playfully growled as Julie kept giggling at the ridiculousness of the song, “Is it seriously that bad?”_

_“‘My Name is Luke?’ R-Really?” she rolled around on her sheets in her fit of amusement._

_And now her form open and exposed, Luke descended upon her with ticklish fingers, “‘It’s a declaration of the self, Jules!”_

_She wiggled around, cackling and swatting his hands away. She sat up, “‘The suburbs can’t contain me. My teachers won’t restrain me’” she quoted the lyrics, deepening her voice to copy his._

_“That’s true!”_

_Then she leapt to the opposite of the room before Luke could catch her again, “‘My dreams are larger than life. Too big to be only mine!’” she sang._

_Luke whooped, pulling out his phone and filming her, “Yeah!”_

_Julie twirled around, raising her arms to the air, bumping her glasses off center, “‘But it ain’t a fluke! Look out world! My name is Luke!’”_

_She picked up the microphone from her desk and made her own choreography. Silly dance moves ranging from mimicking a chicken’s movements to attempting (and failing) to do a cartwheel were caught on camera._

_“‘My name is Luke!’” She cheered, landing in a split, “Hey, were you taking a video of me?” she pouted._

_“I’m documenting your rise to stardom!” Her boyfriend tossed his phone aside and scooped her up in his arms, “Now, in all seriousness, what’s wrong with it?”_

_Julie pecked him on the cheek, “Hand me my journal and I’ll show you.”_

_“You gonna work your magic?”_

_“Needs some tweaking. But I do love it. Really,”_

_“Is that so?”_

_“Because it came from you,” she smiled._

_He matched hers, albeit even sunnier, “You make me a better writer.”_

_“We make each other better,”_

_He nodded eagerly before swooping in for a kiss._

Julie blinked the memory away. In the past, she thought. Best to stay there...

Luke nudged her, “He’s picking up.” 

_“Hello?”_

“Carlos!” Julie cried in relief, “Where are you?” 

They heard giggling on the other end of the phone, _“I left a note!”_

“We know,” Luke said, gently “We just want to know where you are, buddy. Right now.” 

Then Reggie’s gleeful ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs echoed through, followed by a _“We’re going so fast!”_

Julie and Luke locked eyes with each other. 

“Please don’t tell me you’re on the train,” 

_“Okay, we’re not-”_ Stifled laughter, _“we’re not on the t-train…”_

“How in the world did you beat us here?” 

_“We didn’t take the freeway,”_ Reggie said into the phone. 

Luke stuck his tongue out at Julie, “See?” 

“Great. You’re right and they’re gone. Happy?” 

“Hey man, Reggie,” Luke used the same tone as when he spoke to Carlos, “What were you thinking? We have a gig. A ‘mega, important, life-changing gig’. Your words.” 

_“I’m sorry, Luke. But this…”_ They heard a sigh, _“this is something Carlos and I have to do. We will be back soon.”_

“How are you going to get back from the North Pole in time for Christmas then?” 

_“Oh, we’ll just hitch a ride with Santa,”_

Julie facepalmed. It was one thing to hear about Reggie’s deep-rooted belief in Santa, but it was another to actually hear him, a seventeen-year old boy, say those words without a hint of irony. 

“Carlos,” she addressed, “You and Reggie need to get off at the next stop. We’ll pick you up and-” 

The dial tone filled the space. The call dropped. 

“Argh!” She clutched her forehead in frustration. 

“They must be in a tunnel,” 

“Where are they heading next? We’ll catch them at the next station,”

“Uh…” Luke scanned the map on his phone, “Simi Valley,” 

Julie grabbed his hand, tugging him to the exit. She could feel his palms were slippery but she didn’t care. She pushed him into the van once they were in the lot, “Let’s go!” 

* * *

“What are you doing?” 

“Driving. It’s where I put my hands on the steering wheel, and I push this thing called a pedal-” 

“You passed the freeway,” Julie pointed out as another green sign whooshed by, arrows directed towards the overpass. 

Luke had already ignored the two entrances to the 118, which everyone knew was the fastest route to Simi Valley. 

“You’re crazy if you think I’d willingly go onto the 118 in holiday traffic,” He draped one hand on the steering wheel so casually, leaning back. He didn’t seem to be in such a rush. 

“What happened to ‘20 minutes tops’?” 

“That was before our boys got on a train. And before I saw the clusterfuck that was the 118,” 

“I’m sorry if you don’t see the urgency in this situation, but my brother could be on his way to Seattle as we speak!” 

“Look, without the threat of getting gridlocked, we’re going to get there way faster,” 

“Right. Faster on the surface streets. With speed limits, and traffic lights, and stop signs-” 

“If we’re lucky, we’ll beat them to the station,” 

“And if we’re not?” 

He revved the engine, “Have a little faith.” 

That damn line again. “You’re infuriating.” 

“And you’re in the passenger seat. So if you could shut up about directions, that would be lovely,” 

Julie rolled her eyes. She didn’t need this right now, to put up with Luke when she would rather be home sulking about her disastrous Christmas. 

The radio was on, playing one of the many popular stations blasting Christmas songs. She switched it off. She definitely didn’t need _that_ either. 

“Hey!” Luke protested, “My van! My radio!” 

“Bobby’s van, Bobby’s radio,” she sized up the dashboard and console, “And no aux cord? Really?” She didn’t have her phone, but still. That detail was offensive in her eyes. 

“Sorry if it isn’t Brad Meyers’ Tesla, but it does the job,” 

Julie opened her mouth to correct him that Brad’s Tesla used bluetooth and USB instead of an aux cord, but that would only allow more ‘ditzy spoiled princess’ ridicule. 

He didn’t turn the stereo back on. They weren’t too far from next train station anyway, “So how is tall, blonde, and stupid these days?” 

“You don’t care-” 

“Yeeeah. You’re right. I don’t,” 

She groaned, “Then why bring him up?” 

“I’m making polite conversation,” he remarked cheekily. 

“No need,” She crossed her arms and shifted her body to face the window, “I won’t talk to you for the rest of the ride. And you won’t have to talk to me. Deal?” 

“Deal,” 

* * *

“Dammit!” Julie kicked the van’s front tire after leaving the Simi Valley station with Carlos and Reggie nowhere to be found. 

Luke had his hands on his hood, nearly slipping it off his head, “We missed it again?” he griped. 

“Maybe if someone had used the freeway!” 

“We would have been hours behind them instead of minutes!” 

Julie scowled at him then climbed into the passenger seat. 

He came in, slamming the door and letting his head thud against the steering wheel, “This isn’t working out.” 

“I thought we already had this conversation,” 

Luke, to Julie’s surprise, laughed. Maybe it was the exhaustion that made her reference to their less than stellar breakup so amusing to him. 

“No. I mean, driving to the next station and hoping we get to them in time? Why can’t we just drive up to a stop-”

He brought out the ‘Track Your Train’ site for Amtrak and kept switching it between that and Google Maps for them to strategize over. 

“They’ll be in Oakland in 7 hours,” Julie observed, “If we take the I-5, we’ll get there in, like, 6 hours. Maybe even a little less if it isn’t congested?”

“Good call,” 

“We’re going to be taking the freeway. Is that a problem for you?” 

“Ha ha. Very funny,” Luke started the engine and reversed, “I’m man enough to admit that the freeway is the only choice in this scenario.” 

“One for the history books. Luke Patterson admitting he was wrong,” 

“You’re laughing now, but guess who’s gonna pay for gas," he tapped the gauge haughtily, "Oops.” 

“We’ll split gas because we will be taking turns,” 

“Who says we’ll be taking turns?” 

“You will get tired, Luke” 

“C’mon Jules, you know me-” His eyes widened. 

Julie averted her gaze. 

No one had called her that in years. He knew that. He was the only one who did. Her friends nowadays nicknamed her ‘J’ and on other occasions ‘Ju-Ju’ ( after the song 'Juju On That Beat'). She didn’t care for the latter one. At all. 

It was weird to hear Luke say it. And so naturally, not even thinking about it.

He cleared his throat, trying to recover from the slip, “I mean… you know that I don’t get tired. I got some 7Up in the back too. In case.” 

“Fine. Don’t come crying to me when you can no longer feel the lower part of your body,” Julie commandeered his phone, appointing herself as navigator. 

That was when the realization came crashing down on her. 

6 hours. 

She would be spending the next 6 hours in a van with Luke. 

But what other choice did she have? They needed to get to the boys before they were beyond their reach. What would happen if they tried to venture into Canada? She and Luke didn’t have their passports on them, so if they manage to sneak beyond borders, they would need to get the authorities involved. 

They would be toast. Her dad would never let her have a car, or go to Stanford- or leave the house ever again. 

Wait. 

She checked the time on Luke’s phone. 

“Shit,” 

“What is it?” 

“My dad said he was going to call the landline to make sure I’m still home. He’s going to land in Arizona soon.” 

Luke didn’t seem to grasp the seriousness of what she just said, “Your dad is the chillest parent I’ve ever met. You could tell him later that you’ve been napping or something.” 

“No, you don’t get it…”

Actually, that wasn’t true. Luke would know better than anyone why her dad was particularly sensitive around this time of year. He was there, saw how her family fell apart that one December. 

That didn’t mean she was comfortable to talk about it with him. 

“He needs a response. Trust me.” 

“Maybe Carlos could cover for you. He’s in just as much trouble as you’ll be. Your dad will call your phone when you don’t get the landline. He will make an excuse. Say you’re in the bathroom or something-” 

“My aunt might stop by too,” 

Luke paled, “Uh oh.” 

“‘Uh oh’ is right,” 

Her tía was always a tough disciplinarian, a no-nonsense kind of woman. She would be less forgiving than Ray if she didn’t pick up or answer the door. 

She never approved of Luke either, and didn’t do much to hide that. She always found him too loud, too messy, never thinking that music was a viable career choice. She even believed he was corrupting her poor _sobrina_.

Victoria would make sure Julie left her bedroom door open whenever Luke came over while she supervised. 

Julie had been so paranoid that her tía was watching them at all times that she would swerve Luke’s kisses and sit on the opposite side of the room. Luke never made fun of her for he too was terrified what would happen if her tia walked in at the wrong moment. 

It was a testament to her tía’s hardass nature that it even sent Luke quivering in his seat at the mention of her, after all these years. 

“I-I see your point now,” he gulped, “And Reggie’s close to being 18 too.” 

Julie caught on, “It’s going to look like he kidnapped Carlos.”

Her aunt would of course make that kind of conclusion. The police would be notified for sure. 

“Shit,” He tried reaching for his phone but she pulled it away. 

“Eyes on the road!” 

“Okay, just- I think I know a way to solve your dad and aunt problem..” 

* * *

“So, lemme get this straight: You want us to go into your house, maybe even sleep over, call you when your dad calls the landline- patch it through, and somehow pretend to be you and Carlos when your aunt comes over,” 

Julie smiled weakly, “It’s Luke’s insane plan. Not mine. But yes.” 

Alex and Bobby hummed thoughtfully, both of them still in Bobby’s garage, on the couch from what Julie could see calling them from Luke’s phone. 

She really was at the end of her rope because she was employing the services of two strangers pretty much to keep up with such a charade. And to practically live in her house for the time being. 

“What’s in it for us?” 

Alex swatted Bobby’s shoulder just as Luke leaned over, roughing the worst of the freeway traffic, his annoyance at his peak, “Her aunt won’t call the police on Reggie! Or us! How’s that for an incentive!” 

“I was kidding!” 

“Yeah right,” 

“No, I could pay you both if you were to do this for me,” Julie proposed, “And my aunt would normally pop by with some homemade dish, but she’s most likely going to order food to be delivered-” 

“We’ll do it!” The boys chorused. Julie saw Luke smile fondly at his two friends out of the corner of her eye. 

Alex collected himself quickly, “I mean, we would be happy to do this for you, Julie. Like we want to help-” 

“But free food is always good,” 

“-yeah… you had us at free food.” 

Of course these were Luke’s friends. 

“Thank you so much! Just let us know whenever my dad calls,” 

Luke nodded, “The key is under the fake rock near the welcome mat.” 

Bobby wiggled his eyebrows, “Such sensitive knowledge you’re already privy to, Patterson.” 

Her ex’s ears turned pink at the insinuation, “Shut up, Bobby.” 

“We’ll be there in a few minutes, Julie. Don’t worry. And Luke,” Alex’s eyes softened, “Be careful. Okay?” 

There was a weight to those words that Julie stared at Luke curiously. The boy lifted the hood of his coat to conceal his head, “I will be.” 

They ended the call, and Julie was left to watch the arrow, representing her and Luke, move along Google Maps. 

They had a long trip ahead of them to Oakland. 

Hey, Oakland… that wasn’t too far from Stanford. 

Maybe, Julie could visit Brad. Maybe he would be able to help them out once they got a hold of Carlos and Reggie and the station. 

And knowing how it was between her and Luke, this trip was going to be a total nightmare. Riding back with Brad would spare her the headache, and they could finally spend some time together… with Carlos too of course. 

_Think of the bright side, Julie._

Luke punched the buttons and the radio spat out more Christmas songs. He hummed to the melody, head swaying, then-

 _“Shall I play for you- PA RUM PUM PUM PUM”_ He belted out, banging against the steering wheel to the string of onomatopoeias. 

He noticed her appalled expression and a devious glint sparked in his hazel eyes. 

_PA RUM PUM PUM PUM_

He did again, slapping the dashboard and howling. 

_PA RUM PUM PUM PUM_

Oh my god.

 _Just think about Brad._ Julie thought to herself, _For the love of God, keep thinking about Brad…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!
> 
> The directions and geography came from the book I'm referencing. I do not live in SoCal so please don't hold me accountable for the misinformation. 
> 
> You may hold me accountable once they go to NorCal because that is where I am from. 
> 
> I wrote the lyrics to 'My Name is Luke' and yes, it's terrible. I really tried. 
> 
> And I forgotten to mention it in the previous notes but the idea for me to revisit this YA novel was inspired by the road trip fic made by the wonderful Ephemeral_Joy here on AO3. I'm seriously contemplating offering this up as a gift for them...


	4. Route 1

Chapter 4 'Route 1'

Okay, so the I-5 was backed up. 

A surprise to pretty much no one in the van, considering they had grown up with the hellish L.A traffic. 

But somehow, Julie could sense that Luke wanted to blame the van’s inching at a snail’s pace on her. 

Luke operated with the green light on, always go, go, go. It was absolutely killing him to have his foot on the brakes for the majority of the time. 

Good. The boy needed to slow down. 

It kept him quiet too. He had stopped screeching to the radio the moment they got caught in traffic.

The Christmas music still played. Julie was able to turn down the volume before her hand was slapped away by Luke. 

Geez, he was really possessive about this whole radio thing. 

It was rush hour now, which explained the delay. The sun was beginning to disappear behind the hills, and it boggled Julie’s mind that it was approaching nighttime and that a lifetime of whirlwind events had somehow compressed into one day. 

They covered much distance regardless of the traffic, having just reached San Joaquin Valley. But they have a lot more ground to cover. 

Julie busied herself on Luke’s phone, resisting the urge to pull up Instagram to see what her friends were up to, to see what became of her party. 

(She found out Luke didn’t even have Instagram and she almost downloaded it to give into her urges… and maybe to piss him off too). 

She checked where they were on the maps before turning the phone off. They needed to conserve their battery, in case Carlos and Reggie changed their minds and called them (she could only dream) or when Alex and Bobby needed to notify her when her dad was calling. 

Julie twisted in her seat, trying to find a comfortable position. She really couldn’t think of anything to do besides nap. That was how bored she was. 

When she finally oriented herself in a way that 1) warmed her hands and 2) faced opposite the driver’s seat and 3) did not wrinkle her Reformation skirt, Luke’s piercing stare on her form felt like a volley of arrows on her back. 

He would do that every now and then, sneaking looks at her, as if he was waiting for her to disappear- like waking up from a bad dream. 

This time though, is more of a probing kind of a look rather than the ‘poofing you away mentally’ kind. 

“You got something you want to share with the class?” 

“I’m just mildly curious,” He honked at a driver daring to cut him off in the limited space between them and the car in front. Exhaling, he continued, “Whatcha think was gonna to happen?” 

“I’m sorry?” 

“You know, when you set out to traumatize your little brother?” 

Julie’s head rumbled from the engine’s vibrations and it was bothersome. She tried to cushion it with her arm. Needless to say, she wasn’t up for this conversation. 

“He was being a nuisance and he wrecked a very important night for me. In the moment, I thought he needed to be taught a lesson,” 

“The lesson being: Bezos is out to get Santa,” He chuckled mirthlessly, “Wanna tell him Venmo killed the Tooth Fairy too? Or that the Easter Bunny is cancelled for homophobic tweets? Crush some more dreams while you’re at it,”

“Just wanted to scare him a little, okay? You would have done the same!” Julie remembered a certain someone had his fair share of petty moments too. 

“He’s just a kid, Julie. Just cuz, he blew the whistle on some party-” 

She surrendered her comfy position and turned to face him, “It’s not just some party! It was _the_ party, Luke. All my friends were counting on me to pull through for them.”

“Scoring them booze and a venue to grind and fall over themselves seems like a huge responsibility,” 

“Sounds like someone hasn’t been to a party,” Julie tutted. 

“I don’t just go to parties,” he stuck his thumb towards the back of the van where the equipment was, “I _play_ parties.”

“It’s a gig. A job. Not like they invited you because of your sparkling personality. You create the atmosphere but you’re not, like, a part of it,”

“Girls seem to say otherwise,” He winked at her and she made a face. Ugh. Since when did he get so sleazy? 

A chorus of honks brought Luke back to the road, his bitterness reignited. 

“You know what? Screw this,” Luke summoned his phone and searched for alternate routes, with one hand still on the steering wheel, “We’re going Route 1.” 

“Are you serious?” 

They were in the Central Valley, Route 1 was going to lead them to the coast, famous for their winding roads. And truth be told, Julie could get a little carsick from that kind of motion.

Besides, she wasn’t sure if it would be worth it. It could take even longer than this traffic-filled mayhem that was I-5. 

But Luke didn’t wait to hear her suggestion, already revving the engine and propelling the car off the I-5. Shouts and honks were thrown in their direction and Julie ducked down to avoid locking eyes with the angry drivers. 

“Cool it, Baby Driver!” she hissed, “You’re gonna get us killed!- Sorry!” Julie yelled out to the freeway, “Forgive the maniac behind the wheel!” 

Luke scoffed, putting the car in reverse, which only fueled the neighboring drivers’ hatred towards their vehicle, and gunned it for the rockier, dustier backroads. 

* * *

An hour later into their traffic-less route (a fact that Luke had no qualms in pointing out) they were cruising into Big Sur territory. 

Julie wished she could see it all, after hearing how breathtaking it was from her relatives.

But the sun had gone and it felt like they were driving into the abyss, with the inky black sea on their right and a dark mass of trees on their left. Nothing but the headlights illuminating their path. 

That was until Luke’s phone lit up and rang. Julie picked it up. 

“Who is it?” 

A picture of a woman, cropped from what seemed to be a family photo, took up the screen. 

“Your mom’s calling,” 

Julie smiled, the memories of this woman’s hospitality whenever she would come over to Luke’s popping up- always greeted her with a ‘Hi honey’ and a plate of grilled cheese sandwiches. She didn’t know she even missed Emily Patterson that much until now. 

Luke’s face tightened. “Send her to voicemail.” 

She was thrown off by Luke’s hostile tone. Of course, back when they were together, Luke and his mom didn’t really see eye to eye some of the time, but she had never heard him refer to with such frigidity. 

“Does she know you’re out? Gonna be gone for like a day?” Emily was a worrier, it was best to get back to her-

“She knows, alright. Just do what I said,” he sighed, “Please.” 

Luke wasn’t playing around. The expression on his face was akin to the face he made right after the two of them fought. One of quiet, controlled anger with a hint of sorrow. 

And they used to fight. A lot. 

Not as much when they got together, but their last few months as a couple were filled with them. 

It had only been a matter of time before it led to an explosive end. 

Julie said nothing more and pressed the red button. _Sorry, Emily_. 

* * *

It was at the third ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ into the trip that Julie finally snapped. 

She practically punched the console and shut the radio, _“Can you not?”_

“What the hell was that about?” Luke moved to switch it back on but to have his hand smacked away by Julie this time. 

She glowered at him, “I don’t want to listen to Christmas music!” 

Julie could only tolerate so much Christmas in a given setting. Just the jaunty tunes and hopeful words grated on her nerves. 

Every song seemed to mock her.

The rest of the world was singing good cheer while she was trapped in a vehicle with her ex. ‘Merry this’ or ‘Happy that’ when this day, hell even this time of year, had been anything but. 

“All the stations are playing it! And if I had to sit through an entire 6 hour drive without music, I’ll lose it!” Luke tried again but was stopped by a heated glare. His eyes grew and he immediately retracted his hand, “Geez, ok!”

Glad to see that her mean face was as potent as ever. 

“Is there a way we could listen to anything else?” 

“There are CD’s in the glove compartment,” 

Her hands found the latch and crumpled up napkins and notebook paper spilled onto her. In the mess, she produced a CD wallet. The front had a strip of duct tape stuck to it with the word’s ‘Property of Luke’ sloppily written in Sharpie. 

Julie had used to pride herself in being the only one who could decode his horrible penmanship. It honestly was like being able to speak a dying language. 

She unzipped the case (she hasn’t seen one of these in forever) and browsed Luke’s collection. Flipping through the sleeves, she saw a lot of grunge rock and alternative albums snug in their plastic confines: _Weezer, Smashing Pumpkins, Rush, The Ramones_ (of course)... his favorites. 

“How come it’s Bobby’s van but your CD’s?” The question left her before she could stop herself. She shouldn’t care so much about the history of this band van, but it was strange that Bobby handed Luke his keys without a fuss. 

“His parents got the van for him before he got his license. The guy is on his 5th go around and might have to reapply for a permit,” was the exposition. “So I end up chauffeuring the guys to gigs. And you know my policy.” 

Yeah, yeah, king of the stereo. She got that. 

Although eyes on the road, Luke’s attention was solely on her and her thumbing through the pages of CD’s. 

“Not good enough for you, princess?” 

That wasn’t it. This was a solid group of CD’s (not like she would tell Luke that). But she used to listen to the same kinds of music he did before she met Carrie and Kayla. While she could appreciate these classics, she much prefer to hear songs from her more recent playlists. 

Ariana Grande and Lizzo were her go-tos. She would prefer it to the moody, acoustic guitar and angsty teenage roars compiled in Luke’s possession. Too much retrospection for her liking. 

“You got anything from the last 10 years?” 

The inquiry was met with an eye roll. “Check the back.” 

She skipped to the end of the booklet and she had to laugh, “Don’t tell me. Don’t tell me you’re one of those guys that still makes mixed CDs.” 

Julie waved the wallet around at him, as if he hadn’t bore witness to the blank CD-Rs in the last few page sleeves. Fair enough, they were there, titles written in the same scrawl, and a piece of notebook paper, the tracklist, tucked in with them. 

“Burning CDs is quickly becoming a forgotten art form,” 

“You could just make a playlist on Spotify and share it?” Julie found a CD titled ‘Reggie’s Jam’ and quickly flipped to the next page once seeing it was nothing but country songs, “Instead of, I don’t know, borrowing CDs from the library and saving them to your computer to make them?” 

“I don’t do that anymore. For your information, they revoked my library card due to outstanding fines,” Julie held up the _Green Day_ ’s ‘Dookie’ CD which clearly still had the bright orange _‘Los Feliz Branch Library’_ sticker on it; she raised an eyebrow. 

Luke ducked his head abashedly, “Besides, it’s the effort, the gesture that takes the listening experience to a whole other level.” 

“You could make about 30 Spotfiy playlists in the same amount of time. At least you’ll have an infinite inventory,” 

“I don’t have Spotify,” 

“Then use Youtube MP3 or something,” 

“Come again?” 

“You could download the audio of any Youtube video for free as long as you have a link?” 

“ _Wait?_ You could do that?” 

“Are you seriously that stuck in the ‘90s that you had no idea this existed?” 

“Some of the best things came from the ‘90s!” 

“We get it. We get it. You were born in the wrong decade. You and every hipster kid in school. How original,” Julie returned to the issue of their road trip music. She was so going to get flack for this, but she settled for a _Sunset Curve_ CD. 

She popped it in and did her best to ignore the upturn of Luke’s lips at the sound of his band’s music bumping the speakers. 

Julie shrugged, “Anything better than Christmas music.” 

“Scrooge, much?” Luke dodged the blatant diss and went straight back into the Christmas thing. 

“I just don’t care too much for it,” she glossed over, “Super repetitive, they play them too early so by the time Christmas comes, you’re sick of them.” 

Luke peeled his eyes away from the road. He stared at her like her dad did earlier. In disbelief at the person in front of them. 

“You used to love Christmas music,” 

She used to love a lot of things about Christmas. 

There had been a point in her life when she could confidently say that she loved playing music, Christmas, and even Luke Patterson. 

But of course, things changed. 

She grew up and moved on. 

* * *

They were hungry and Julie’s refusal to eat anything that had been left in the van resulted in them stopping at a seaside food stand. 

The location was of course accompanied by the strong breeze and Julie braced herself in the cold. Luke must have taken pity on her and went around to the back of the van and pulled out a blanket, one that wrapped around and protected his acoustic.

(“How many guitars do you have?” “It’s my emergency guitar”). 

He tossed it at her and she quickly enveloped herself in the musty fabric. Together, they waltzed up to the shack and placed their order.

As they waited, Julie couldn’t help but notice Luke had put on his hoodie again, and the fact that despite being one of the 10 people milling around, he kept looking over his shoulder anxiously. 

Seriously, what was his deal? She should be the one to be on the lookout for anyone familiar. She didn’t want to be caught dead hanging around with the likes of Luke by her friends. But she doubted any of them would be up here- they were too busy partying it up at Kayla’s. 

She could be just reading too much into Luke’s mannerisms. The way he kept bouncing between right and left foot could be just him trying to keep warm and not a side effect of his hyper-vigilance. 

Julie shook her head. Ugh. Why was she trying to decipher the enigma that was Luke Patterson? She was spending way too much time thinking about him and talking to him when she had a boyfriend who she’d rather have take up space in her mind. 

So she mused about Brad instead, who was everything Luke wasn’t (and in the best possible way). 

Julie was not one to pit them against each other on the basis of looks. She was not shallow. 

It had never been about handsomeness, even though Brad’s old-school, classic good looks were more widely accepted amongst her friends and family (especially her tía).

It was more about who was the better fit. 

For one thing, Brad was multi-faceted. His personality wasn’t driven by one thing (like music, for example) and had different interests. Like she could talk to him about a lot of things and she never had to wonder if any of their conversations were gonna end up in a song. 

And unlike between her and Luke, she and Brad _never_ fought. At the first sign of conflict, Brad was always the first one to concede, and they immediately dropped the subject and carried on with whatever they were doing (which was usually making out in his car). 

But the big appeal of Brad was that he represented the future, of a life that she wanted to have. Brad was able to up and leave L.A and he had claimed that he was able to find himself, to start over. Julie wanted that more than anything. There was just so much… history in L.A. In her house, with her family…

The car couldn’t come soon enough. Her dad was right. Once she had those keys in her hands, Stanford would be the first stop, and Brad would be one she wants to celebrate her newfound freedom with. 

Julie just needed Carlos to cooperate once she found him. Then those dreams were within reach. 

Their food was dished out, the heat of their fries culminating in satisfying wisps of smoke. Julie’s mouth watered and she was so ready to dig in. Meanwhile, Luke was admiring the metal display tree bearing homemade cookies on the counter. 

He plucked out a bag and set it next to their order. 

Julie eyed the cookies warily and immediately returned it, “Don’t get that.” 

“Policing my diet? What are you, my mom?” 

“It has walnuts, idiot. You’re allergic,” 

Luke did a double take at the pack he had chosen, now noticing the bits of nuts protruding from the cookies, “Holy-! Wow. Um...thanks.”

Julie didn’t want to have another Molina-Patterson family picnic catastrophe on their hands. 

Maybe she did need to keep an eye on Luke after all… he would get himself killed otherwise. 

She suavely handed the clerk the money to pay for their stuff before Luke could even take his wallet out. She certainly didn’t want to owe Luke anything. 

They separated once they returned to the van. 

Luke had opened up the back and was seated there to finish his food while Julie sat in the passenger seat. She could hear the boy pigging it out and she was lucky that she wasn’t a spectator to his messy ways of consuming food. 

She ate as much as she could but left half of her food untouched. She wrapped it in napkins and hoped to finish it later. 

Julie, still burrito-ed in the blanket, browsed Luke’s CD’s again, ready to pick something to listen to since they were nearing the end of the _Sunset Curve_ demo. She didn’t bother with established albums, going straight for the mixed-CDs. 

She was amused to discover that not only Reggie had his jams but the whole band had some CD dedicated to them ( ‘Alex’s Mix’ and ‘Bobby’s Bops’ sounded promising).

Her amusement ended when she found a CD titled ‘For Julie’. 

This was news to her. To her knowledge, Luke never made her a CD while they were together. How long ago was this? 

Unlike the others, it didn’t have a scrap of binder paper detailing the tracklist. That could only mean one thing:

Whatever was on this CD was a Luke original. 

He used to write songs for her all the time when they weren’t collaborating on them.

Now _that_ was like another language, the way they used to communicate so freely and smoothly through song- the lyrics beginning in one person’s mind and finishing in the other’s. It had been their thing. 

A long time ago. 

Julie turned to the next page without a second thought. She couldn’t care less on what could be on that CD because that ship had sailed.

Whatever was said on that track was meant for the old Julie. 

She came upon the last page, and while she thought the ‘For Julie’ CD stuck out like a sore thumb, this one here had its own paper sleeve that had to be forcefully wedged in along with the CD to make it fit. Like it was just as important as the music. 

Julie carefully slid it out to examine it properly. 

The covering was homemade. It was a collage of different rock bands from the ‘70s and ‘80s- _T. Rex, Queen, Guess Who_ to name a few. She turned it over, and printed with a label maker was the title: 

_Luke’s Mega-Cool Totally Rad Lessons in Rock n’ Roll_

Julie was about to call out Luke’s silly naming of this particular CD when she saw the dedication blurb: 

_To Luke,_

_These are the essentials for any rockstar in the making. Let them be your guide and, one day soon, you too will be legendary._

_And remember, talent is one thing. Belief, belief in yourself, would take you just as far._

_Enjoy,_

_Mama Rose_

Julie stared numbly at the writing, tracing the name and the accompanying flower doodle beside it. Her fingers stuttered along the dried paste of the collage and landed on the date: _12/20/16._

A swirl of emotions churned in her stomach and she was too stunned to comprehend them all. 

That was right before… this was given to Luke right before-

The bang of the back doors shutting jolted Julie from her daze, and she dropped everything onto the floor. She quickly gathered it all up in her arms. Luke rapped his fingers against the window, “Come on, let’s go!” 

Once she had the wallet and the dedicated CD, she met Luke’s eyes behind the glass. Whatever snarky remark that was on the tip of his tongue faded as he zeroed in on what she was holding in her hands. 

For a moment, they just stared at each other. Julie braced for it, the explanation on how this CD’s existence had been kept from her. Half of her being was screaming ‘ _Tell me!”._ The other half begged for silence, knowing full well that the mention of _her_ would be enough to send Julie in a state of despondency. 

It took her 3 years to get out of that hole, and she would fight like hell to keep from going back. 

“Well? She retaliated, annoyed, “What are we waiting for?” she demanded of the boy outside. 

Luke threw open her door and handed her the keys, exchanging the CD and the CD wallet in her hands for it. It happened in a matter of seconds. 

“You drive,” 

“ _What?_ ” 

“I’m tired,” was his excuse, “Food coma. Now let’s go. Chop chop. We got a train to catch!” 

Julie didn’t question the sudden change in roles, but was ultimately grateful for it. Because she had been stuck in the passenger seat, there would be nothing stopping her from taking out the gifted CD and agonizing over it for the remainder of the car ride. 

Luke didn’t mention the CD. 

Once Julie had the car started (taking a couple tries because this car was so goddamn old), he carefully returned it to its rightful place in the last page. Then, he chose Green Day and popped in the player. 

There were no more arguments about song choice after that. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just letting you know, this is part 1 of a double update!!
> 
> I would also like to, once again, say that the timeline and geography of this story has been taken from the source material and slightly modified so there may be some inaccuracies. 
> 
> I'm a NorCal girl who hasn't gone down South in years, so forgive me. 
> 
> I also nearly typed the freeways as 'I-5'. That would have given my NorCal-ness away. Because I have friends from SoCal tell me that they put the 'the' in front of the freeway numbers.


	5. Big Sur

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part of a double update!
> 
> So if you're seeing this message, I suggest you go to the previous chapter to get caught up.

Chapter 5 'Big Sur'

“Do  _ you _ wanna drive?” 

“We’re already on the road. It’s fine,” 

“You’re vibrating so much you’ll phase through the seat,” 

“It’s just” Luke kept, as Julie would describe, motioning towards the road like an airport marshall on a runway, “could you go a little  _ faster _ ?”    


“I’m a careful driver,” 

Julie insisted. Driving in Big Sur required riding along curves and dips and she just wanted to make sure they weren’t going too fast. She needed to be able to operate this van properly, especially with how awful it handled any sharp turn or shift in direction. 

“Don’t see why that would always equate to being slow as hell,” Luke leaned forward in his seat, as if it was going to will the vehicle to speed up, “You were the one saying that we’re in a rush!” 

“I don’t have a car of my own to drive in all the time, so sorry if I’m a little rusty” She gripped hard on the steering wheel, “Not like I'll ever get one if we don’t get Carlos back before my dad finds out.” 

That last part was meant to be for her ears only, but Luke and his musician ears picked up on it. 

“Is that really why you want to get him back? So daddy doesn’t take away your  _ car _ ?” Luke cried, incredulously. 

Oh. Oh he was judging her? That was rich. 

“Don’t act like you’re so altruistic!” Julie slouched in her seat, jutting her chin out and lowered her voice,“‘ _ Reg, buddy. Come back. We have an ultra important gig _ . _ ’ _ ”she impersonated. 

“What are you trying to say? That I don’t care about Reggie?” 

“You do. But,” Julie patted the dashboard and pointed to the back of the van, “you care about the music more. Always have.” 

“Not true!” 

She shook her head, “Nothing comes between Luke Patterson and his dreams...” 

* * *

_ “You need this, Jules!”  _

_ Luke had cornered her in front of the studio- garage, Julie corrected herself. It was nothing but a locked up garage with junk inside.  _

_ “I c-can’t. You know I can’t. You know why,” She sniffled, turning the key and pocketing it. It was done. It was sealed off.  _

_ Luke, like the dramatic one he was, acted like she had just defaced a monument. He jiggled the door handles then tried to cut her off when she moved to return to the house.  _

_ “Look. This shouldn’t be the reason for you to give up music!”  _

_ Julie gasped, offended “That’s not good enough of a reason?” She pointed to the garage as if… as if she was still there, playing her guitar and singing songs.  _

_ “No! God-” He cursed his wording, “that’s not what I’m saying!” Then his hand shoved into his pockets and he pulled out a piece of paper. There were lyrics, stage directions, and the parts for different instruments to play.  _

_ “Join the band, it’ll make it better. I promise,” Julie knew of the band. This band that Luke was trying to put together with some guys he had met through the music program, the one that Julie had decided not to try out for when they first started high school.  _

_ “Luke! Would you give it a rest? I’m not going to sing!”  _

_ “Now, but eventually you will-”  _

_ “What if I don’t. Huh?” Her frustration had bubbled over, making Luke step back, “What if I never sing again? Will you still love me, Luke?”  _

_ She wasn’t stupid. There were times when Luke pushing her to sing again was more for his benefit than hers. One of the things he loved about her was her ‘killer voice’, and he had made it known time and time again.  _

_ The moment she stopped singing was when they first started fighting. They never fought like this before. It was like the spark they had fizzled out. This had been happening for nearly a year now.  _

_ So who could blame Julie when she felt that her musical capabilities were the only thing that made them work? _

_ “Hey, hey. Come here,” Luke, sensing her distress, took her hands in his.  _

_ She relaxed at his touch- could feel her features softening. Then he cradled her face, rubbing away the tears that were close to spilling onto her cheeks. He tucked her curly hair back, leaning in to whisper what he thought would be what she needed to hear-  _

_ “I refuse to believe that you’d stop singing,”  _

_ That broke the spell.  _

_ And Julie wrenched herself from Luke’s hold, “I can’t believe you!” She pushed him away and she stormed into the house. He called for her, tried to follow her.  _

_ She went through the back door, into the kitchen.  _

_ And not daring to look at him, she locked that door too.  _

* * *

Julie let herself stew over that particular memory, but Luke wasn’t done with her yet. 

Her words seemed to have triggered a fire in him, because he glared at her like he loathed her. Luke seemed torn between laughing at the absurdity of her and wanting to kick her out of the van just now. 

“You haven’t been in my life for what? 3 years? And you still think you know anything about me?” He edged forward into her space, his hands gripping his seat so dangerously tight that the cushion might buckle and come apart in his hold. 

“You could say whatever you want about me, or my clothes, or my music. But don’t you ever say that I don’t care about Reggie! He’s family. Those guys, in my band, they’re family!  _ The only family I’m ever gonna need!  _ So take your holier-than-thou, self-absorbed bubble and stay away from me like you’ve always done. We’re both better off for it!” 

It was silent in the van, the last of the Green Day CD having played a few minutes ago. The tension was the worst its been since they started this trip.

Julie… had no idea. 

She had no idea how deep this bond ran between Luke and his band. She honestly assumed that was all they ever were. They were never on her radar at school and before today, Julie didn’t even know Reggie was part of their group. 

She had seen him today with them. He was obviously the ringleader, running practice with his songs, his setlist and his word was final, and Julie thought ‘Finally, he found people to boss around and work into his artistic vision’. 

But the way they reacted when they found out Reggie ran off with Carlos- Julie had chalked off Luke’s reaction to being worried whether or not Reggie would make it back in time for their gig. 

Though when it was him and the boys, she should have seen it the first time, but there was history there. They all wanted to come after Reggie and bring him home. 

Maybe it was because Luke was the spitting image of what he looked like when they were 14, albeit angrier and slightly bigger, and that his music taste was still the same, his passions never changed- that Julie assumed there was no growth. 

Of course things have changed. That was what she kept telling herself this whole time. The last three years didn’t just happen to her, they happened to Luke too. 

They were different people now than they were back in the day… 

She didn’t know how to voice this, didn’t know how to- apologize? There wasn’t much room in her head to compose a coherent dialogue while she navigated the twists and turns of Big Sur. 

Red-faced and breathless, Luke collapsed into his chair. He rolled over, not bothering to give her a chance of a rebuttal. He curled into a ball, yawning, “Wake me up in the next hour. We’ll switch then.” 

“Luke…” she started but it was no use. 

His eyes were closed and he had already drifted off. 

* * *

The hour wasn’t even up yet when Julie had to wake Luke up. They were running out of gas and they needed to make a stop. She needed his help on how to get to the nearest gas station. 

Grumbling, the residue of his outburst still in his hunched form, he rerouted them so they could fill up the tank. 

Luckily, they found one 5 minutes away. Pulling up to the lone fluorescent- lit site within miles, Julie hopped out and filled the tank with the crumpled up cash Luke found on the van floor. Luke took the opportunity to put some more distance between them and shuffle off to the bathroom. 

It was when Julie was on her way out of the convenience store, which neighbored an auto shop- the only other structure in the middle of nowhere, that Luke’s phone rang in her pocket. 

It was Alex. 

She answered it in an instant. Hesitantly greeting the person on the other end, Julie receives a response. 

From her dad. 

Oh she could just kiss Alex and Bobby right now for seamlessly connecting her with her dad. She could picture them over the landline, hands clamping their mouth, with one of them dangling Alex’s phone over the receiver. 

If her dad noticed the trickery, he didn’t tell her. 

He sounded weary from his short flight, but it may have been some hours since he landed and he probably just now settled into his hotel room. 

They didn’t speak about what happened before he left, opting to instead talk about how they were doing. 

“How’s Carlos?” 

“He’s fine. He’s in the shower right now, so he can’t talk,” she lied through her teeth. 

“That’s okay. I just want to check in. Is everything… alright between you two?” 

She scoffed, “What do you think?” 

“I know it’s been tough, but if you could learn to get along, at least for Christmas- then that would mean a lot.” 

Julie hummed, but she didn’t make any promises. If her dad knew what Carlos had put her through in the last 24 hours, then maybe he wouldn’t be making such bold requests. 

“Okay,” 

“Yeah,” There was a pause, “Listen, Julie. You know you can come to me, right?” 

“I do,” 

“I know I was angry at you earlier-” 

“Dad, don’t-” 

“I just feel… you’ve been pulling away from me. Carlos too. I want for us to be able to talk like we used to,” 

Now that was a punch in the gut. 

Her dad never brought it up before. This distance between them. 

They used to be this close-knit family. She and Carlos, hell, they even got along. They had wanted to spend quality time together as brother and sister despite the age difference. And her dad- her dad had been one of the first people she would confide in whenever she had a problem, always lending a warm presence and listening ear. 

But all of that ended. 

Now she couldn’t stand Carlos. And Julie would go out of her way to lie and hide things from her dad. 

It was probably today, the worst of either of these cases happening, forced her dad’s hand- forced him to finally confront it. 

It made it all the more real, hearing him say it. 

“Ok,” was all she could say. How could she respond to something like that? And in the middle of a gas station too? 

Her dad seemed to have understood the gravity of what he just said, and he didn’t delve deeper into it, “Just want to let you know that the offer stands. I’ll call you tomorrow. After the shoot. Love you,  _ mija _ ,” 

“Love you too,” 

She heard the landline cut off. 

Then the release of breath. 

Right. She forgot her conversation with her dad hadn’t been private. 

“Um… thanks, guys,” she was glad that it was only a phone call, so they couldn’t see how flushed she was. 

“No problem,” Alex said, “Your dad… um... he sounds great,” he drew out awkwardly. 

Julie nodded, the guilt gnawing at her more now, “Yeah. He is.” 

“No wonder Reggie goes on about him,” Bobby added, “Like the closest thing he has to being around a good parent.” 

Julie furrowed her eyebrows, “What do you mean-?” 

“Ready to go?” Luke came up from behind her, nursing a 7UP he snagged from the back of the van. He gestured at the phone, “Is that the boys?”

She nodded and handed it to him.

Julie slunked back to the van, hearing Luke’s laughter as he caught up with his friends echo through the almost empty lot. 

She went into the driver’s seat, and just watched Luke talk on the phone and it made her miss her friends. 

The way Luke talked about the band, like family- Julie wasn’t sure if she could say the same about her friends. 

She adored them, yes, and they loved her too, but ride-or-die? Julie tried to put herself in Reggie’s shoes, if she had left all of the sudden, right before she was supposed to throw the party- what would her friends do? 

Carrie would be blowing up her phone, wondering why she was getting notifications asking for Julie’s whereabouts. Kayla, would too. Nick would be the one to swing by her house though, to see if she was okay. 

She could never see them driving a 6 hour road trip to bring her back. 

But of course, she was just pontificating. She would never truly know what her friends would do unless that situation arose. They could surprise her. Julie should give them more credit. 

Soon enough, Luke had to hang up the phone and join her in the van once more. 

Both buckled up, Julie turned the key to the ignition and waited for it to run. 

But the engine was silent. 

She turned it again. 

It didn’t even so much as make a  _ BRRRR _ . 

“You’re doing it wrong,” Luke crowded into Julie’s space and she was suddenly aware of his side pressing into hers. He fiddled it with the key, “There’s like a trick to it. The van’s always been finicky-” 

Julie honestly saw no difference in the way Luke handled the key. 

Yet the engine won’t run. 

“Uh-oh,” 

They jumped out of the van and ran to the hood. Luke propped it open. 

“Well?” Julie said expectantly, borderline panicking because- this,  _ this _ was the last thing they needed. 

Luke gripped his chin and peered inside. He didn’t reach in and rearrange things. He merely cocked his head to one side. 

And then to the other. 

He hummed thoughtfully. 

Julie gaped at him, “That’s your BS face! You have no clue how to fix this thing, do you?” 

“I was hoping the problem would just present itself!” 

“Good thing you didn’t actually play around in there- you could have really stranded us!” 

“We’re already stranded! Maybe you handled the van wrong,” 

_ “Me?”  _

“This never happens to me when I drive it! The one time, the one time, someone else drives it- this happens!” 

They were interrupted from their bickering from the sound of someone clearing their throat. 

“I couldn't help but overhear,” A man in coveralls approached them, “But I see you have car troubles?” 

He had come from the autoshop. 

“Yes!” Julie said, “Can you please help us?” 

“I’ll see what I can do,” 

Luke stepped aside and let the man talk a look at the engine. He pulled out a flashlight and inspected the parts. After 5 minutes he was able to deduce what was wrong with it. 

“This van is lucky to have survived the coast,” The man clapped his hands, “I’ll tell you what. I can fix it for you-” 

“That’s great-” 

“For about 400. I’ll have it done for you by tomorrow. At 10 AM?” 

Luke choked, “No, no. We need to be in Oakland in a few hours!” He craned his head to catch Julie’s attention, _‘Four hundred?!’_ he mouthed to her frantically. She nodded- that was a lot of money for her too! 

And she doubted there was that much money hidden in the van cushions to cover it. 

The man shrugged, unfazed by their predicament, “I could do it tonight” he surveyed the area, a truck just pulled up into the lot, but didn’t seem to be there for his services, “Slow night. But it’s gonna cost you double.” 

Alright, where was the guy’s Christmas spirit? Julie knew how hypocritical she sounded, but come on!

Great.

Goodbye Carlos. Goodbye Reggie. 

They were as good as gone now. 

There was no way they would be able to catch up with them. Maybe not at all because neither Julie or Luke had $400 (or $800, like what the hell?) on them at the moment. 

“Can we… can we have a moment, please?” Julie asked, while guiding Luke to the side. 

“I’ll give you 10 minutes to decide. But beyond that, I gotta get goin’,” 

“Thank you,” she gave a courteous smile, which quickly morphed into a worrisome one once the repairman stalked off, “What do we do?” 

“I’m thinking!” Luke whispered, “Uh, uh. How much can you get from the ATM?” 

“Like 20 bucks without flagging my dad,” Julie scrunched her nose, “Wait. Cash. Why does it have to be cash?” 

“These guys, in the middle of nowhere, I don’t think they deal with card,” 

“We just need to somehow get $800 in  _ cash _ ?” Julie bumped her head against the side of the van. “This is impossible. We need to cut our losses. Hand me your phone. I’m calling the police-” 

“Woah! No way!” 

She didn’t like the idea either, but how were they gonna stop the boys from reaching Canada? And beyond. She had learned her lesson, she wouldn’t underestimate Carlos ever again. If he could find a way to get into Canada and beyond, it wouldn’t surprise her at this point. 

“My dad will kill me! Carlos and Reggie are gonna get too far-” 

Luke ‘X’-ed his arms, “No! We are not bringing the cops into this!” He seemed especially upset with the aspect of the law getting involved. 

Julie was about to open her mouth to retort when they heard a banging sound not far from them. They looked and saw a man in a red tux, who had left the truck that pulled in earlier, yelling and punching at the payphone. 

“You can’t! You can’t do this to me!” The two teens flinched at the volume and desperation in this man’s voice. 

“Um… okay?” Julie shook her head, “Anyway-” 

“What do you mean you can’t make it? What am I supposed to tell my sister? That the wedding band cancelled last minute?” 

They stilled. 

Did he just say-?

Julie and Luke shared a knowing glance. They were on the same wavelength. 

A cunning grin worked its way onto Luke’s face, then the both of them took off after the man, who had just concluded his phone call. 

“Yo!” Luke waved him down, and he looked up, surprised. 

“I hear you need a musician...?” 


	6. Big Sur Part II

Chapter 'Big Sur Part II'

_It was a December afternoon and Julie was in the studio._

_Frowning at the page, Julie paused her piano playing to scribble down some new notes for the song. She hadn’t been able to get some practice time, and she was trying to nail this melody for lyrics she and Luke wrote last week. But she was starting to think their words needed to be workshopped a bit more._

_There was something not clicking._

_The creaking of the studio doors signaled an arrival- Carlos, fresh from the school bus, lit up upon arrival._

_“Ju-lie! Ju-lie!” Carlos launched himself at her and she barely managed to catch him. Laughing, her arms coiled around her little brother and hauled him onto her lap. His hands found the keys, striking them with the utmost confidence despite the discordant mess produced._

_She wrangled his wayward hands, “Hey, hey! Gentle!”_

_“But I want the whole neighborhood to hear!”_

_“And reveal your musical genius prematurely? Before our Christmas showcase? I don’t think so!” Julie ruffled his hair before sliding him off her lap and onto the vacant space beside her. “You got power, but make sure you can let your fingers fly.” She demonstrated playing the C Major harmonic scale, then its chromatic scale counterpart._

_The 6 year old was astounded, “How do you do that so fast?” He tried to replicate her success but his stubby fingers tripped over themselves and he ended up dragging the back of his hand across the rest of the piano._

_“You need to practice, Carlito. Duh,”_

_Carlos shook his vehemently, his index finger in the air in a matter-of-factly manner, “Nuh-uh. You know what mom says, ‘practice makes perfect, and perfect is-”_

_“-Overrated!” A new voice flowed from the entrance._

_A woman, with the fullest head of hair, partially but intricately braided in a diadem-like fashion on the top, meandered into the studio, her smile wide and infectious. Having been in the garden previously, she peeled off her soil-ridden gloves in time to receive an energetic Carlos into her arms._

_“Mom!” He pulled away and the woman booped his nose, “But I was right though? You said practice is overrated?”_

_“No, no, no. That is so not what I meant!” She carried the boy and headed to the piano. The woman laid a kiss on Julie’s forehead in greeting, “Your sister is right. Practice is important.”_

_“Ha! See!”_

_“But I do see a lot of musicians get caught up in perfecting their craft, making sure it sounds just right that they’ve forgotten why they started playing in the first place,” Rose set Carlos down on top of the piano, and she beheld her children with such fondness. She grazed her thumbs along the sides of their faces, “And you know what that is?”_

_“Because it’s fun,” Julie said simply._

_Rose raised an eyebrow, “Oh really?” She nudged her daughter playfully, “‘Only ‘fun’? Mija, you could do better than that. Isn’t that right, Carlos?” The boy nodded._

_Julie rolled her eyes. She knew what her mom was trying to do._

_“Uh…” she racked her brain for eloquent phrasings, “It’s like being able to breathe?”_

_“Yes. And?”_

_“Like… like the most natural thing in the world. Music is nature,”_

_Rose’s eyes danced with a blossoming excitement. She hijacked Julie’s journal and jotted down the words, “And? Keep it going!”_

_Julie stood up from the bench suddenly. Her thoughts active and so was she. Her feet traversed the length of the studio, “It’s- it’s like water. Nourishing… and healing. And, um, explosive. And passionate like fire. It catches and spreads. Music is-” She stopped, “the spark.”_

_Hold on._

_“The spark!”_

_Julie pivoted on her heel, running back to the piano. Taking the pen from her mother, she scratched out the previous lyrics-_

_“I got a spark in me!” she sang. She ran through the other metaphors, inspired by the nature imagery, “Hmm… water, beating down. No- like a storm raging? No. Thunder… beating like thunder…hearts beating like thunder,”_

_Julie’s brain was working a mile a minute, not even bothering to sound coherent in front of her family, but she was digging into the paper with such intensity._

_Rose glanced over at the page, “Ooh, I like that.”_

_Julie stepped back to admire the revisions. She laughed in disbelief. That was the missing piece, “Mom! You fixed it!”_

_“I got the ball rolling, Julie,” Her hands rubbed her daughter’s shoulders, “They’re your words. Your genius.”_

_“Mine and Luke’s,” Julie corrected. That reminded her to shoot him a text, telling him that their song was complete._

_Rose smiled, “You two make quite the team, don’t you?”_

_“Yeah,” Julie affirmed, writing out the title at the top: ‘Finally Free’, “My partner in crime,”_

_“Are you going to perform that at our little holiday show?”_

_“Nah. Maybe for something else. We’re probably going to do ‘Winter Wonderland’ like we do every year,”_

_“Is he gonna forget his guitar again and would have to borrow mom’s?” Carlos piped up, “Like every year?”_

_Rose pursed her lips, but was tickled by the thought of Luke’s forgetfulness, “Of course! No shame in keeping up with tradition.” That made the children chuckle._

_“Alright,” The woman clapped her hands together, “Now, that I’m done with the garden, who wants to help me decorate the house for Christmas? Let’s say, put up the lights?”_

_Of course. The most beautiful piece of decoration, in their mom’s opinion, must be attended to first._

_The Molina siblings’ hands shot up, “Me! Me!”_

_“Let’s go!” Rose took her kids by the hand, leading them outside, the holiday spirit propelling them forward with rosy cheeks and unbridled laughter._

* * *

“Julie?” Luke waved hand in front of her face, “ _Julie!”_

Her head snapped to meet the boy’s curious gaze, “Huh?” 

“The nice man asked you a question,” 

Julie nodded slowly, mentally readjusting to the present. She glanced to the left of her, where Luke had been pointing at. The balding man in the red tux was at the wheel and shot her a friendly but concerned smile. 

Eyebrows shooting up, she vehemently apologized. She didn’t intend to space out like that in front of a stranger, but it had been occurring more frequently, she noticed- these sudden bursts of nostalgia.

Her parents had told her she had a wild imagination growing up, her head so far in the clouds that she saw stars more often than the people directly in front of her. 

The man, who had introduced himself as Maurice, wasn’t offended, “No worries. I just asked if you played too?” 

Right. 

They were on their way to a wedding right now. 

After they had eavesdropped on Maurice’s phone call and Luke had offered to play at his sister’s wedding, they struck a deal. Luke and his guitar and amp as entertainment in exchange for the $800 they needed to fix the van. 

It helped that Maurice’s desperation matched their own and that the reception was in 20 minutes, the venue not too far from the gas station they were currently stranded at. 

Maurice had been super grateful and was never shy to say so every other minute.

(“You have no idea. You literally saved my ass!” “It’s really no problem” “My sister would have killed me!”)

He had assisted in transferring the equipment from the back of the van to his truck. There were extra tablecloths and towels in the bed of the truck to cushion the guitar and keep it dry as they drove to the location.

(Of course after notifying the repairman to start the fixes and that they would pay him upon their return). 

The truck bed was very spacious. 

Julie wished the same could be said for the passenger seating. 

It was a two seater, and it had quickly dawned on her and Luke, when Maurice had presented his vehicle, that they had to share the seat. 

They had initially squeezed in the seat adjacent from each other, their thighs meeting in an awkward fashion.

But part of Julie’s lap had spilled over onto the console and she didn’t feel comfortable having her stocking-clad legs easily within a stranger’s reach. 

“Hey, uh,” Luke coughed, watching her straining to scoot away and bumping into his legs, “How about-? Well, um-” 

His hands had gripped her waist and Julie was hoisted onto his lap, her body angled somewhat perpendicular to his legs so she wasn’t directly on top of him. Her head rolled back in favor of leaning against the window (the alternative would have been Luke’s shoulder). 

Julie tried hard not to think about their positioning, about how she could feel Luke’s hot breath prickling her neck, or how his arms encased her waist like a human seatbelt, or how her upper body was draped against him and she could smell the hint of lemongrass soap on his skin. 

Good thing it was dark and her beet-red face was easily concealed from Maurice, but from their close proximity, Luke could tell how flustered she was. 

The only consolation was Luke was equally as flustered, maybe even more. 

Julie recalled the little conceited smirk and wink he threw her way after he had regaled her with his experiences charming girls at parties. 

The boy in front of her was a far cry from the womanizing performer she had envisioned in her head. 

He would keep clearing his throat and refuse to look at her, instead would kickstart a conversation with Maurice, probing him for details on the reception and what kind of music would fit the vibe. 

Julie guessed that somewhere along the way she became the subject of the conversation. 

So back to Maurice’s question- 

“No. I don’t play,” 

Luke’s piercing stare drilled into her, “She’s- that’s not true. Julie-” 

“-is just here to support Luke,” she jumped in, feigning enthusiasm, “And to keep him out of trouble.” She ruffled his hair for good measure. 

“Ha ha,” he pinched her sides, making her squeal, “More like dragging me _into_ it.” 

He cocked an eyebrow at her, _‘Your Santa hoax. Your mess_ ,’, he practically conveyed. She slapped him on the shoulder. He was never gonna let it go, was he?

“You two are just so gosh darn adorable,” he chuckled to himself. 

They weren’t sure how to respond to that. 

* * *

Julie thought for a second that they were going to die. Like in a getting kidnapped to be murdered in a remote location kind of situation.

And there was no way to call for help for Luke’s phone no longer had service where they were going… 

The truck had traversed bumpy, unmarked roads. With each bump and dip, Luke’s grip on her midsection tightened to steady her. And gauging from the way they kept climbing upwards, reaching altitudes that Julie didn’t know could be reached by this pickup truck. 

Luke made the mistake of peeking out the window to see the ocean far below. His chest kept rising and falling in an erratic pattern and Julie instinctively grabbed his face to veer it away from the window. 

“You’re fine. We’re fine. We’re going to be fine,” her whispered reassurance seemed to placate his beating heart.

Although she said it for her sake rather than Luke’s. The boy had always been afraid of heights. She needed to ensure that their ticket out of Big Sur was calm and ready to perform. 

Yeah, that was her reasoning. 

They came upon a dirt lot near a campsite that overlooked the ocean. They parked in between clusters of campers, vans, and cars. Julie even spotted a couple of food trucks, most likely catering the event. 

Stepping out of the truck, the biting cold contrasting greatly to the warmth she felt being on top of Luke, Julie was hit with one hell of a wedding set up. 

Christmas lights tethered several of the trees together before converging in the center of a manicured clearing. 

Tables, of various sizes and shapes and not within the same universe from each other, like round tables, cheap fold out ones, and even one that could be mistaken for a writing desk, were placed in random formation. 

Each table setting was similar in this way too, with kids' animal paper plates in close company with antique porcelain. The flowers were all different types and colors.

The guests themselves didn’t even look like they were all attending the same event, some dressed in cheesy holiday garb, others in fancy formalwear. But they all shared the same level of peculiarity that made some sort of sense of this congregation. 

It was a weird party for sure, and Julie eas sure her friends would have a thing or two to say about the kind of company she was fraternizing with...

They unloaded the truck and were met with Maurice’s sister, one of the brides. Her gown matched Maurice’s deep red while her now-wife complemented her with an emerald suit. 

Julie found the Christmas theme especially cute on the two of them, so she kept her Scrooge-ness to herself. After all, she was an impromptu guest. 

Everyone had welcomed them into their celebration as if they were old friends. Julie had been hugged by various individuals and was offered a cozy blanket to keep her warm at their cliffside event. One person even charged Luke’s phone for her with a portable power bank.

Meanwhile, Luke was brought over to the stage to start setting up. Politely excusing herself from these people, Julie followed Luke, the only familiar face at this event. 

He had been coordinating with a couple people from the bridal party on how to plug in the amp like a professional. Any traces of fear from being up so high had disappeared, now that there was a stage in sight. 

She found him tuning his guitar at the base of the platform. 

Unsure what to do with herself, and not feeling too keen on socializing with a bunch of eccentric strangers, she stuck close to Luke.

But it wasn’t like she knew what to say to him either, he was getting in the zone. 

After making sure his acoustic sounded great and shedding his coat, to which Julie gave him a look that said ‘really?’ once he was standing in the freezing cold in only his cutoffs, he nodded at the group of people behind him who were finalizing his set up. 

“You know… they asked me if they should set up two mics or just one,” Luke kicked around a rock mindlessly. He stared at her, tentatively, and Julie knew that this was his way of asking. Not pushing, just asking. 

“Why?” 

“Because ‘Finally Free’ isn’t a solo piece,” 

“You want… to perform ‘Finally Free’?” 

“It’s a strong song. That or ‘Winter Wonderland’,” 

No. He couldn’t just bust out those songs so casually, as if they were meant to be on some random setlist in some random person’s wedding. 

But he wouldn’t be asking to perform these if he didn’t want her to sing them with her. 

Julie glanced at the stage and the awful mixing of emotions in her stomach made an encore. 

There was no way she was performing tonight. 

“I suggest you stick to a Christmas setlist. Seems like they’re a jolly crowd,” she stalked off after giving her blessing and sat down at a vacant chair at a round table with dahlias as the centerpiece. 

She made it clear that she didn’t want to sing, but this time Luke let her walk away. 

This time he didn’t call for her to come back. 

* * *

The last time she had heard him sing was listening to the band’s demo in the van. She couldn’t remember the last time she heard him sing _live_. Because that was also something else. 

Luke put on one hell of a show despite the circumstances. 

Julie had to commend him for performing on the spot, with little time to prepare. But he fed off the audience and knew exactly what to play, knew which songs would garner the laughs, would rouse people to their feet, or to drunkenly sing along- a mark of a real showman. 

He was a powerhouse up there.

It didn’t look like he had been driving for hours. His energy never waned even for a second, and Julie wondered if he was truly ok because this was utterly inhuman the way he bounced from one side of the stage to another, jamming out on his acoustic and belting out the notes, his breath visible in the cool air (and in thin cutoffs as well?). 

Luke Patterson was an absolute madman. 

It was an all Christmas song set, much to Julie’s chagrin, but it was fitting to the occasion and she had no right to wreck the night for a bunch of strangers with her music preferences. 

Unlike the rest of the crowd, Julie had remained seated during Luke’s performance but made sure to bob her head and clap along so her hosts wouldn’t think she wasn’t having a good time. 

Luke was currently rocking out to a rather sultry version of ‘Santa Baby’ (without changing the pronouns which was a baller move in Julie’s opinion), which beckoned for a gaggle of young girls to gather in the front of the stage and gawk at him. 

He made sure to give them extra attention, dropping into a power stance on his knees before them, handing out flirtatious glances. 

There it was- the womanizing rockstar persona had finally emerged. 

Julie scoffed at the gimmick, now fully aware that Luke was playing up his attractiveness for audience engagement.

He certainly hadn't look as suave when he had a girl on his lap earlier though...

But Luke must have some sort of awareness of the effect he had on these girls because he wouldn’t joke about it as often as he did, if he wasn’t.

So, Julie couldn’t help but feel that there was some sort of big headedness about him. Like how hot did he think he was?

Well sure, Julie remarked, his arms were well defined, flexing them greatly as he strummed the guitar. 

And there seemed to be sneak peeks of a toned stomach under his cutoffs that could be seen if he swayed just the right way...

And there was the fact that his face had lost much of the softness associated with preteen years, more chiseled chin and jawline, and his smile- so goddamn disarming that made this hardened rockstar look actually approachable. 

The last 3 years had been _really_ good to him. 

Suddenly Kayla’s comment about finding him hot despite, the well, everything else about him, didn’t seem so crazy- 

Julie choked on her water just then, scarred by the revelation that was undeniable at this point. 

Luke Patterson was _hot._

That _she_ found Luke Patterson hot.

No, no, no, no. 

She was regressing. Julie could not think about him like that because of course she was now starting to let everything else about him slide just because she finds him… not… ugly. 

She was not going to fall for Luke Patterson again. Not after all they had been through and all the pain they had caused each other. 

And besides, she had a cute, doting boyfriend in Stanford waiting for her. One that would never disappoint her like how Luke did. 

Luke finished off the last of the song, but not before doing his signature wink and quick flex of his arms. Julie swore she saw one girl swoon and another girl had to keep her upright. 

‘Ugh’, she muttered in disgust, ‘Somebody needs to put sleeves on that boy…” 

* * *

Luke swiped at his sweaty face as he approached the mic. He had been at it for a solid hour now, and Julie was almost ready to knock out. 

She had been eating and making small talk with the people at her table, but her social battery was almost drained.

On the bright side, it seemed like the night was coming to a close and Luke would be performing his last few songs. 

"You guys have been great, you know, for hearing some seventeen year old kid play for you from instruments found in the back of a van. This next song is, well, not a Christmas song-” Several whoops erupted from somewhere on the site, “- wow, love the enthusiasm!” he returned, dryly. 

But Luke swallowed, and he was the most stationary Julie had ever seen him on stage and he held the guitar tight, almost like a lifeline. The mood shifted and the audience felt it. 

“It’s-uh, it’s well a song that I used to hear every Christmas. Always sung by, uh, this person. Who was very special. And I think it'd be pretty fitting to perform it for you. Hope you enjoy it,” Luke’s eyes flitted over to Julie for a split second before closing them completely. 

His fingers plucked the notes, shakily at first, that Julie had to do a double take. 

He was nervous. Luke never got nervous when performing. 

The notes repeated, more confident now, clearer now. Once, it became so, Julie steeled herself. For the song was familiar… 

_The book of love is long and boring_

_No one can lift the damn thing_

_It's full of charts and facts and figures_

_And instructions for dancing_

A reverence befell on the crowd as Luke’s trills and rasps were traded for a straightforward, almost whisper-like singing. 

_But I, I love it when you read to me_

_And you, you can read me anything_

Julie was frozen… 

This song… did Luke know what he was doing? Singing _this_ song… 

_The book of love has music in it_

_In fact that's where music comes from_

_Some of it is just transcendental_

_Some of it is just really dumb_

By now, people had begun to pair off, the brides being the first. They met in a tight, swaying, embrace, their foreheads touching. Julie could see them whisper to each other, smiling amidst the joyous tears streaming down their face. 

Julie couldn’t deny the power this song had, how it brought people together, how it unlocked something inside of them that made you want to _feel_. 

It didn’t mean she wanted to hear it. 

_But I, I love it when you sing to me_

_And you, you can sing me anything_

Julie was overwhelmed, she tried to push her feelings down, squashing them back into the pit of her stomach but there was resistance. 

She couldn’t look at the couples, young and old, slowly dancing with each other, or the children burrowing themselves into their moms and dads as the song played. 

Julie wrenched her gaze away before it got too much but that only left looking at Luke. 

But only it wasn’t Luke standing up there on stage anymore. 

Suddenly, she saw a cloud of brown locks flowing along the sea breeze, she saw a rainbow of chunky necklaces and beads clacking together as the nimble and slender fingers caressed the neck of the guitar, the warmest brown eyes that she knew she could never see again. No picture could ever match what it felt like to be looked at with those eyes, what it felt to be adored by her… 

Her breath stuttered and Julie found herself pushing against her chair, almost falling backwards in a rush to leave. She didn’t look at Luke as she briskly crossed the site and took refuge behind one of the food trucks. 

Now, as the first time she had some semblance of privacy, Julie leaned against the chilled truck exterior and just breathed. 

In and out. 

She needed a moment. Just some time to get it out of her system. 

Julie wanted to cry, but the tears never came. Instead, she kept hitting the side of the truck, kicking the tires, biting her fists to muffle her yells because-goddamn it! 

She knew this year was different than the ones in the past. She didn’t have the luxury of distractions this time around, to be sitting poolside with her friends and talk about the latest episode of Riverdale, or to be wrapped up in Brad’s arms and focus on the sound of his heart beating. 

Hers was beating a mile a minute and it had to take her a good five minutes of inhaling and exhaling and keeping count of how many cabins she could see from up here to regulate the rhythm. 

She couldn’t hide her mom from Luke. That was what this trip had taught her- there was no escaping the past, even after successfully evading it for the past three years. 

Luke had been there all those Christmas showcases in their living room, every time her mom closed the night with that song- her acoustic guitar all scratched up and plastered with stickers and the smile on her lips, always a little wider after the eggnog. 

She would be sitting cross legged on the floor, Carlos on her lap, Luke beside her, holding hands as they listened. 

The song had never made her cry, but it always scored a wet-faced reception from their relatives and family friends. 

It had been her first time hearing it after purposely avoiding it for so long. 

Julie slapped her cheeks, stinging already from the cold, and did her best to tidy her hair, but she could no longer part it easily with her fingers. She tucked her now slightly curly strands behind her ears and returned to the reception. 

Luke had already left the stage, a sign that the night was winding down and the guests were packing up their belongings and leaving (or sleeping) in their campers. A kind older lady with blue hair, the mother of one the brides if Julie remembered correctly, waved her over, handed her Luke’s phone (now fully charged), and guided her to where Luke was. 

He was in the middle of shaking hands with a pair of guests when she came upon him. She could see about three business cards and some napkins with phone numbers on them stuffed in his back pocket. 

Well, at least he was capitalizing on his success on their detour. 

She expected him to run over once he saw her, eagerly showing off all the offers he received for future gigs (or maybe joke about how the female guests wanted him to hit them up once he turned eighteen- gross). 

Instead, his steps towards her were uneasy, like he was bracing himself. 

“I saw you leave,” 

She wrapped the blanket around her tighter, “I had to go to the bathroom.” 

“I blanked. I couldn’t think of another song-” 

“You could play whatever you want,” Julie shrugged. 

Luke nodded, unconvinced by her calm demeanor. But he didn’t pursue it. 

“Let’s go. I think Maurice is ready to take us back,” 

It turned out Maurice was not ready. 

The best man ended up getting too drunk to drive them back to the repair shop, so they ended up hitching a ride with the kind folks from the street dog truck. After a bone-crushing boozy hug from Maurice and promises to cross paths one day, Julie and Luke found themselves huddled in a mobile kitchen with the equipment and $800 in their pocket. 

Later, at the auto shop, they disembarked the vessel with three hot dogs, giving one to the repairman upon arrival. 

20 minutes later, after Julie haggling down the price to $600 ( and threatening to sue but the man didn’t call her on her bluff), they were on the road again. 

“Thanks, Julie. But he still ripped us off you know?” Luke ranted in the passenger seat, “That’s the most money I’ve ever made on a gig and it all pretty much went to this repair. I don’t think he did shit to the engine.”

“Really now?” responded Julie, amused by his post-gig high. She drove them further from the coast, hoping to get within range for Luke’s phone to have service once more, “But you get to keep some money. Don’t forget that.” 

“I regret giving him the hotdog now! Thought it was a nice gesture. But you know what? I’ll- I’ll, uh-” 

“Curse the hot dog?” Julie offered. 

He slapped the dashboard, “Yeah! I curse that hot dog! May he end up with food poisoning in the morning. Serves him right for conning two kids out of their hard-earned money,” 

“Not that far off. We saw what the kitchen looked like,” 

It hadn’t been the cleanest when they rode in the back. Their health code upkeep was definitely put into question when they saw no problems sticking two kids, a guitar, and an amp in there with exposed meats. 

“I’m praying _we_ don’t get food poisoning. There’s no bathroom in sight for miles,” 

“I saw a bucket in the back-” 

“Do not even joke, Julie,” 

The van was quiet, the past few hours’ events catching up to them. They were leaving the Big Sur area and they began to see more buildings and more traditional roads. 

“Hey, Luke?” she called. 

The boy lifted his head from the window, “Hmm?” 

Julie had a lot of revelations tonight. A lot of things that bubbled up to the surface that she would rather not revisit. 

But Luke did something pretty incredible for them tonight, and there seemed to be no way to appropriately or adequately thank him. But she knew where to start. 

“She would have loved it,” 

It took time for the words to settle in, and Julie could hear Luke let out a shaky breath. For a second she thought he was going to cry too like all those people did tonight. Instead, he cautiously placed a hand on her shoulder. 

“Thank you,” 

Her eyes were trained on the road, but she nodded. 

They remained like that for a while, with Julie never having the urge to shrug him off once. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was the longest chapter. 
> 
> Songs Included:
> 
> Santa Baby- Eartha Kitt  
> The Book of Love- Magnetic Fields


	7. San Jose

Chapter 7 'San Jose'

Luke took control of the wheel as soon as they left Big Sur. 

Julie argued that after single-handedly scoring them $800 singing to a bunch of half-drunk wedding guests, he deserved to chill for the next few hours or so. But the guy was still too hyped up from the performance. 

After their period of silence, spurred by the mention of Julie’s mom, the boy had resumed his little Energizer Bunny routine, oscillating between rhythmically tapping against the dashboard and rockin into the seat to the Rush album playing. 

Julie really tried to keep it together, tried to maintain her sanity. But it was getting late. 

She knew she was losing it when her head bobbed along to the song. And the rocking motion Luke had been making started to influence her too. 

Yeah, no. 

Julie pulled over to the shoulder of the road, now a busier freeway than the slow coastal roads that had been cruising on, and surrendered the wheel. They left in their respective doors and crossed paths in front of the van, Luke tossing his phone in her direction, and she caught it with ease. 

Once in each other’s former seats, they buckled up, and Julie proceeded to recite the last saved directions to which Luke would follow. No lip. No snarky comeback. He listened and went wherever she told him. 

That was something that Julie was starting to notice. 

She and Luke had ceased their bickering since the wedding, which should have been a relief given they were at each other’s throats in the beginning. 

But it was concerning. 

Because all of this- the traveling, the getting gas, the navigation- was starting to become second nature to them. They had their roles to play, often swapped, but they were a well-oiled machine by this point, and that was a testament to how long they have been going on this trip for. 

And it reminded Julie just how long and tiring this day was for the both of them and they still have yet to achieve their goal.

Oddly enough, that should have been the most distressing thought, but it was more her and Luke’s synchronicity that Julie weirded out. Like back at the gas station, they were on the same page when they had to wave down Maurice for the wedding gig. It was like Julie knew what was in Luke’s head and vice versa. 

It hadn’t been like that since the last time they wrote together. 

It scared Julie just how familiar it all felt- to be on the same wavelength as Luke Patterson. How it was easier now than it was hours ago. 

But Julie needed to be as far from familiar as possible. 

With having her little freakout about her mom not too long ago and finding Luke attractive (now she couldn’t stop eyeing his arms- like stop!), Julie was afraid she was reverting back to that pathetic version of herself from 3 years ago-

The girl who wouldn’t stop crying at the mention of her mom. 

The girl who had her heart broken by a shaggy-haired idiot. 

The girl who had lost everything and had to start over. 

Not again. 

So she should be upset right now, trying to squash down any signs that she was starting to warm up in Luke’s company because any indication was an excuse for him to be as chummy as he was when they indirectly talked about her mom. 

But no. 

Instead, she shrieked in delight at what she read on Luke’s phone, her excitement inviting. 

_ “Oh my god!”  _

“We have service again?” Luke asked, hopeful. 

About 10 subsequent pings signaling about dozens of messages coming through answered his inquiry. 

Julie went to swipe through the small windows, and saw that it was mostly from Luke’s mom. In her hurry to get the full view of the screen to show Luke the news, she was only able to make out ‘ _ Are you safe? _ ’ and _ ‘Please please answer the phone’ _ before they disappeared with the flick of her thumb. 

Her train of thought momentarily derailed, Julie tried to get back to the task at hand. 

“Uh… yeah! And prepare to receive some more good news,” 

“Lay it on me, boss,”

“Well…,” Julie broke her rule and shoved the phone at his face, the train real time map on display, “Guess what’s been sitting on a track in San Luis Obispo for some hours now?”

Luke nearly swerved the van in shock, “ _ No freakin’ way! _ We didn’t lose any time?” 

“But get this, there’s a scheduled crew change in San Jose!” she read off the notice. 

He grinned, picking up what she was laying down, “Forget Oakland then! San Jose, here we come!” 

He howled then he floored it, changing course while he was at it. Julie shook his head at him, but smiled. 

She allowed herself to. Just this once. 

This was the victory they needed. Their second wind. 

The words ‘forget Oakland’ should have made Julie sad. There would be no excuse to go see Brad if they changed course for San Jose, but she didn’t mind. She and Luke had been riding on the high of their serendipitous good luck and this news only added to the palpable thrill humming in the air. 

In the beginning of their adventure, it had been tense, their thoughts anchored by dread and a ticking clock and bolstered by their painful reintroduction into each other’s lives. 

But now, Julie was excited- the end was in sight. And Luke was too. 

They would be back in L.A earlier than expected and that was alright with them. 

* * *

Their good luck continued, they got to San Jose hours later (Julie at the wheel this time) with ample time to spare. Even with about half an hour until Carlos and Reggie’s train was due to arrive, the two, in their manic anticipation, surged at the doors at such speed that Luke’s hood had fallen off his head a couple of times before they slipped inside. 

“Hold up,” Julie held a hand up, keeping Luke from venturing further into the building, “I don’t think they’re letting us on the train without a ticket,” She pointed to the people in uniform standing sentinel at the corridor leading to the tracks. 

“Wait here. I’ll buy the them,” 

Julie frowned. She knew he was going to be using his gig money once again, but he shrugged off her nonverbal concern and bought the damn things at the kiosk. He made sure to get the ones for Carlos and Reggie’s train. 

They then crossed the checkpoint and were instantly assaulted by the cold night air they thought they had escaped from. 

Julie folded her arms like a mummy to ward off the NorCal weather. She had forgone the blanket from the van, not aware that the terminals were outdoor. But she would be back in the van soon, only 5 more minutes until the train arrived. 

She couldn’t believe she was even up right now. It was midnight and she wanted nothing more than to be asleep in her warm bed in slightly warmer L.A. But she and Luke would have a long trip ahead of them before they could even go home. 

What was keeping her warm was the fury coursing through her veins at the thought of finally confronting Carlos and giving him a piece of her mind. 

“So game plan?” Luke said, hopping up and down to stave off the chill, “We yell at them then grab them? Or grab and then yell?” 

Good, he seemed a little pissed too. She was worried that he was a little too lenient. Maybe it was the hours of driving that finally got to him and he was a little less forgiving to Reggie and Carlos. 

“Simultaneously would be more economic,” she suggested, to which Luke gave a nod of approval, rubbing his hands together (in both a scheming and warming kind of way). 

They watched the train pull in, the whistle blowing, before it slowed to a stop. 

Oh hell yeah. 

It was go time. 

Julie pointed towards the end of the train, “I’ll take this part-”

“And I’ll go front-” 

_ “We meet in the middle,”  _ They said together, their eyes widening at their shared thought, but ultimately parted to enact their plan. 

_ Curse our synchronicity _ , Julie thought as she boarded the last car, pushing against the people trying to get off. 

Yeah, the other passengers were not happy about that. 

But she didn’t care about them, not opposed to shoving whoever she had to shove in order to bolt down the aisle, searching for her brother and Reggie amongst those seated. 

She called out his name, hands darting out to grip onto the next row of seats to steady herself against the onslaught of passengers coming from the opposite way. She checked the bathrooms, banging on the ones that were occupied (“Carlos, if you’re hiding in there then come out now and surrender!”). 

The last one was rather embarrassing when an elderly man, who was clearly not Carlos, emerged and had promptly told her that she had scared the shit out of him. Literally. 

Apologizing profusely to the old man’s retreating figure, she ended up bumping to Luke, who seemed to have reached the end of his section too. 

No one was with him. 

“Do you have them?” he asked her. 

“Yes. They’re right here. They just turned invisible,” she rattled off sarcastically, “This is their train. They gotta be here!” 

“Did you check everywhere?” 

“Of course I did! Were  _ you _ as thorough?” 

“I almost kidnapped someone that looked like Carlos, so yeah!” 

“Could you two keep it down?” A lady with her two children snuggled against her hissed at them. 

They were receiving dirty looks from the other passengers now. It didn’t help that they were also blocking the aisle. 

Then the whistle blew and the train groaned and screeched. They lurched forward- the train was moving. 

Luke pulled Julie into an empty quarter of seats just to be less of a nuisance. 

Once seated, Julie’s head moved in different directions, scanning for any other places that haven’t checked, formulating a new plan of attack. Yes, the train was on the move, but that meant there was nowhere the boys could escape. They were just as stuck as her and Luke. 

“They could be hiding somewhere. I don’t know maybe where the crew is. Like they have a cabin or something?” she thought aloud, “We’ll just go down the aisles again-” 

“-Uh… Julie-?”

“We could switch sections. I’ll walk down your way and you go here-” 

“-Julie-” 

“Like where could they possibly be? We got them cornered-”

“ _ Hey! _ ” Luke got hold of her shoulders and forced her to turn around, “Look!”

They both faced the window, and as the train was slowly picking up momentum, they were able to catch their targets- 

Standing on the terminal. 

Outside. 

Carlos, in his coat and hat, nudged Reggie, who shivered in only his flannel and leather jacket, and he pointed at their window. At the sight of Julie and Luke, they both waved at them as the train went, with Reggie’s smile as friendly and innocent as ever and Carlos’ downright devious. 

They even had the gall to run down the terminal, waving as if they were bidding their friends good tidings on their journey. 

The train picked up speed, and it was too late to jump off, alert anybody. 

All they could do was stare as the figures of their loved ones became smaller and smaller as their train left San Jose and into the night. 

* * *

“How did they know?” 

“I’m too tired to even wonder about that now,”

Julie sat on one row of seats while Luke was perched on the other. Both slumped over because they were  _ exhausted _ . Their weariness only worsened at being outmatched by Carlos and Reggie. 

The train pedaled steadily on, (taking them further and further away from the van) and the quiet that permeated throughout the entire train began to take a sleep-inducing effect. And with neither of them not having to drive, this opportunity actually gave them both the chance to rest. 

Until they got to Oakland- where they could hopefully finalize their next course of action, which most likely involved Brad. They needed all the help they could get. 

Luke timed it. It would be less than an hour. 

Better than nothing. 

But Julie just could not get over what had happened, not allowing herself to succumb to sleep so easily. 

She had seen Carlos. They had been in the same place at the same time. 

And he had eluded her… again. 

At least he seemed ok. 

That was until she was through with him once she caught him for real. 

“We should have let the crew know that they were missing. Maybe let us stay for a couple minutes and helped us look,” She buried her face in her hands, caught up on the ‘shoulda, woulda, coulda’s. 

That would have been the best course of action, honestly. But she had been too into the moment, wanting to get her hands on Carlos soon so they could all go home before dad or tia would even notice. 

But Luke dismissed her alternative with a wave of his limp hand, his energy now depleted, “Nah. I thought we weren’t supposed to be drawing attention to ourselves. ” 

“I’m pretty sure that’s your plan,” Julie said. She leaned forward, pushing off his hood, rousing the boy slightly, “Don’t think I don’t notice you looking over your shoulder every time we go somewhere. Or how you wear this hood too.”

Julie attributed her curiosity into Luke’s weird behavior to her sleep-deprivation. Her curiosity was fueled even more when Luke had grown uncharacteristically silent. 

“I’m cold,” he said after a couple beats. 

“You wear cutoffs well into winter,” 

He fingers streaked against the condensed window, “L.A winter.” 

“Are you, like, on the run or something?” she blurted out, “I knew it. One day, you were going to resort to a life of crime to get by.” 

Luke held his hands up, “You got me. The band is a cover. The boys and I are a well-oiled thieving and scheming machine. Alex and Bobby are robbing your house as we speak. It was our plan all along.”

Honestly, it would check out. Alex and Bobby had free reign over her home. What was to stop them from taking her family’s valuables and skipping town? 

Wow, she was really entertaining this idea. 

She must be sleepier than she thought. Julie Molina was known to be a lot of things when she was refused her usual 6 hours slumber, being susceptible to jokes (good, bad, sarcastic), being a prone yawner- 

“Your mom keeps calling. And texting, Luke,” 

-and apparently being blunt as well. 

The boy shrugged, “I’ll get to them eventually. Just a couple of texts.” 

“She left 200 messages,” 

“Did you read them?” 

“No...” 

He raised an eyebrow. 

“Well a few,” she admitted reluctantly, “when the notification pops up.” 

“Who cares about the messages. They all pretty much say the same thing,” 

“ _ ‘Please please answer the phone’, _ ” The phrase weighed heavy in Julie’s heart as she said it, imagining Emily saying it,  _ begging _ , “They all say that?” 

He nodded. Then he tucked his knees under his lap and curled up into the seat, hoping to get some shut-eye, and Julie thought that was the end of it. 

Julie was going to do the same until she heard a strained, quiet murmuring: 

“Mom and I had a fight,” 

“Oh,” She straightened up in her seat, “...uh how come?”

He chuckled, darkly, “What do you think?”

_ Music _ . 

Emily, Luke’s mom, was much like her tia. They both had looked down on Luke’s aspirations to become a famous musician, calling it a waste of time. 

It had been a point of contention between mother and son for years, even back when Julie had been in his life. Once, she recalled walking hand-in-hand with Luke into his house, his guitar case strapped to his back. They walked into a displeased Emily in the living room, holding up a report card with low marks. Luke, suddenly stoic, had asked Julie to wait for him in his room. 

A hushed but strong exchange of words later, wherein there was blame put on the guitar and rock influences, Luke had stormed inside, tears already streaming down his face. 

Julie would be the first one to guide him into her arms and held him until the worst of the tears subsided. 

She didn’t think it would get worse, it had never escalated into anything. And she knew that Emily cared and it took a while to get her really worked up into a frenzy. 

Luke seemed to have read her expression and was quick to provide details. 

“It was messy this time,” he sighed, combing his hair with his fingers, “We said some stuff.  _ She _ said some stuff. A lot of it was… below the belt kind of stuff. I got fed up and so I left.” 

“Left?” 

“I’ve been camping out at Bobby’s. My parents don’t really know the boys, not like…” he trailed off. 

_ Not like you _ . 

He cleared his throat, “They wouldn’t know where to start looking for me.” 

_ 200 messages _ , Julie remembered. 

“Luke…” she swallowed, almost too nervous to ask- 

“How long has it been since you were home?” 

When Luke ticked his head to the side, eyes staring upwards, tongue sticking out in concentration, Julie knew she wasn’t going to like the answer. 

“Since after Thanksgiving,” 

Christ. 

She had been ragging on Luke for his clothes, following Carrie's assessment that he dressed like a homeless person, but the fact of the matter was-

Luke was actually homeless. 

“Don’t worry about it though. I’m fine,” Again with the mind reading- was she an open book? The boy had just revealed that he hadn’t been home in almost a month and was acting like she was the one that needed reassuring, “I’ve got the boys to keep me company in the garage.”

“You sleep in that garage?” she balked at the idea of Luke tucking in on that lumpy old couch in Bobby’s garage… 

“Not just me,” 

“Does Reggie stay with you too?” 

“Sometimes,” his eyes narrowed, questioningly, “Do you know-?” 

“It’s something that Bobby said earlier,” she responded, “Apparently, Reggie likes hanging around my dad.” 

It wasn’t an uncommon occurrence to see Reggie at the dinner table long after his tutor sessions with Carlos had ended. Or for him to help out her dad put away the dishes or clean up. There were days when Reggie had come over straight from school, knowing full well that the middle school kids didn’t let out until later. Julie would return to see Reggie and her dad conversing in the office. 

Reggie’s perma-grin shone a little brighter those days. 

He would always be a little ball of sunshine. 

It was difficult to picture the boy doing anything but smile. 

“Ray’s, like, a huge step up from his dad. And his mom too I guess,” Luke stopped, surveying the area for any eavesdroppers, and Julie tried not to think about how that was a habit he had- to prepare to delve into something personal. 

“When they’re at each other’s throats, he crashes at the studio with me. Alex too, when his folks get a little too liberal with their conservatism, if you know what I mean?“And Bobby’s been great. Letting us do this and all,” He cracked the first sign of a grin since their unplanned train ride, “We’re kinda… much.” 

“Never would have guessed,” 

“Like one huge slumber party every night,” 

“Painting each other’s nails. Gossiping?” 

“Yes to the former. No to the latter. Unlike your friends, we don’t talk shit about others unless absolutely necessary,” 

Well, this conversation took a turn. 

“You don’t know anything about my friends,” Julie crossed her arms, bordering combative. 

Here she was, feeling sorry for Luke, and he just had to turn the conversation around on her? As a defense mechanism? 

“I don’t have to, But I think I have them figured out,” 

“So you say,” 

“Let me prove it to you,” He unfurled his legs and sat up, with his legs spread out. He stroked his chin, “So, Kayla, right?” 

“What about her? She’s a sweetheart,” 

“And a total kiss up,” He emphasized it with the noise effects, puckering his lips and nose scrunching that Julie found really over the top. 

“That girl can talk herself into circles because she wants to be liked by everybody. I had Home Ec with her and I overheard her say that she both loves and hates cheesecake in the same sentence,” 

“But she wants to be impartial,” 

That was true. And drama broke out amongst their friend group a lot. A lot of small, petty things that usually get resolved by offering to buy the other person some boba or iced coffee, but Kayla never took sides, always able to see both sides, always complimenting both sides on how good their hair looked… 

But it wouldn’t be such a stretch to find out something that Julie would tell Kayla in passing would reach Carrie’s ears and vice versa…

“Yeah, but you’ll never know what she actually thinks. About cheesecake and about you. Wouldn’t you rather she hurt your feelings and be honest than say shit you wanna hear but you know is a lie?” 

“How about lies that also hurt my feelings? Like this conversation,” 

“Come on, you know it’s true. Then you wouldn’t be so defensive,” 

“I’m defensive because she’s my friend!” 

“Uh huh,” Luke kicked back, now getting comfortable roasting the company she keeps. “Friends. Like Nick?” 

She  _ tsked  _ at him. “Oh this is gonna be good.” 

“How can you be friends with someone so… so-” 

“Kind? Thoughtful?”

“ _ -boring, _ ” He bemoaned, as if that was the biggest offense anyone could ever commit, “So vanilla that vanilla ice cream is sick of him.” 

“That’s weak sauce!” she laughed, not taking this assessment as seriously as Kayla’s, “That’s all you can say about him? That’s he’s boring?”

“He does the same three things everyday: drives you and the girls around, bumps heads with his lacrosse buddies, and tries to play the guitar,” 

Julie slapped her hand down on her seat, “Whoop. There it is!” 

“What?” 

She smirked, finally getting to the root of his ‘Nick’ issue:

“You’re jealous of him,” 

“Am not. Because he’s first chair in guitar? Because I’m not classically trained?” 

Julie’s smirk grew. Oh this was textbook inferiority complex right here in the baggy jeans and Ramones shirt. 

“So you don’t mind if he gets the solos and gets Ms. Harrison’s praises?” 

“No,” he humphed, moving his arms. Julie watched him, struggling to not cross his arms, the telltale sign of denial. 

“You know what? You always had it out for Nick since elementary school. We both know he’s a good guitarist. You respect the music and skill too much, but you can’t bring yourself to ever admit it. So why have you always been so hard on him?” 

Luke paused his fidgeting to gape at her, “Are you serious?” 

She frowned, “What?” 

“You’re not messing with me right now? You really don’t know?” 

“I would if you tell me.” 

The boy sighed, looking down and scuffing his vans against the carpet. He mumbled something incoherent. 

“I can’t hear you,”

“He…. you…” was all she could understand the second time. 

“Use words, Patterson!” 

“He had a crush on you, alright!” he exploded, earning some serious shushing from the bitter mom from earlier, only a few rows up. 

Luke flushed, scratching the back of his neck, his nervous tick. But he continued, at a lower volume: 

“In the 4th grade, when we were all in the same class. And it may have gone on to middle school. I don’t know! I was too busy hating him to know for sure,” He looked at her as she was working an odd expression,“What?” 

Julie mentally ran through 4th grade, looking back at the memories in a new perspective. 

How Luke hadn’t gotten in trouble at school until they were in Miss Ives’ class, where they shared with Nick. 

How Luke seemed to be messing with Nick, all the pranks he had pulled on him, him talking shit about him to Julie when she saw absolutely nothing wrong with the small boy with the bowl cut and freckles that she liked to play with from time to time. 

How this, at the time, irrational disdain he held for the other boy seemed to carry on past elementary school, past middle school, and settled into a mild annoyance in high school. 

The ‘Luke had been jealous’ theory still held water. 

But in a completely new body of water than what Julie had expected. 

_ Oh my god, _ ” she said, finally,” That explains the smacking the peanut butter-” 

“-Onto his face. Yeah…” Then he started to giggle, failing to hold it in. 

"Luke?" 

“Okay… and I may have told him-” snort” that you d-didn’t want to kiss him because you thought his freckles were contagious-” 

_“Luke!”_ She slapped him on the shoulder, but it didn’t so well shut him up, “Is that why he didn’t even look me in the eye until he started dating Carrie?” 

“Didn’t think it would work,” he chuckled. 

That earned another slap. He kept smiling and pointing at her, encouraged by the expression on her face. 

Luke really was being a little shit and getting egged on by her disapproval. 

But it dawned on her then that she wasn’t exactly presenting herself as disapproving, the corners of her mouth curled upwards. 

Okay… 

The freckle thing was kind of funny. 

In hindsight. 

(Like how the hell did 10 year old Luke come up with that?)

(Oh my god. Poor Nick)

The timeline surfaced in her mind’s eye and it gave her pause, “You were that possessive? We weren’t even dating yet.” 

“I thought I was doing my best friend duty, you know? I didn’t think any guy was going to be good enough to date you,” He shrugged, “But I realized, I was a little too invested that maybe I liked you more than just my best friend.” 

“You should thank Nick then. For pushing you to finally ask me out,” 

Luke leveled her stare, “Not like it matters much now.” 

Right. 

What use was to thank him when their relationship wasn’t meant to last anyway…

They averted each other’s gaze. The air between them now awkward. They had both stopped smiling. 

_ What just happened?  _

That was strange. Out of all times they had referenced their breakup, it had never been this uncomfortable. 

Other times it sparked heated 'passive-aggressive's, or just straight up jabs at each other’s friends, clothes, reputation- whatever. Superficial stuff. 

It had always been a sore subject. 

But there was something else about it tonight- a sort of bittersweetness. 

Probably bringing up Nick, bringing up elementary school. The lengths Luke had been willing to go (she wouldn’t condone such behavior today by the way) because he wanted to be with her… 

It made his explosive  _ “I’ve had it. I guess we’re done!” _ sting more now than when it initially happened. 

She could see Luke regret ever bringing it all up again. Like he had been exposed twice in one train ride sitting. 

Julie didn’t know what come over her, again she would blame the lack of sleep, but she decided to throw him a bone: 

“You know...Vanessa Langsley had a crush on you in the 5th grade,” 

He looked up in surprise, “News to me.” 

Julie rested her elbow on the seat divider, leaning into her open palm. She blew a raspberry, dredging up the almost forgotten memory. 

“I told Mr. Chen that she kept cheating off of you during tests… so he would change the assigned seats and put her on the opposite side of the room from you,” 

She saw Luke easing from his rigid positioning, and quirking an eyebrow at her yet again but in a teasing manner. 

“And… when she couldn’t stop looking at you from across the room, I told him that she was cheating off of  _ me _ and he put her in the hallway during test time.” 

Luke busted out laughing,“T-That’s worse!” 

“How?” she scrunched her nose. 

“At least I didn’t get in the way of Nick’s academic performance!” 

“She  _ did  _ cheat off of me though! Never off of you,” She poked him in the chest, “She thought you were cute, not smart.” 

He fell backwards, overplaying her strength, “Wounded, Jules.” 

“As if she could read your handwriting anyway,” 

“Oh not this again. I’ve gotten better!” 

“Show me,” Julie began writing on the fogged up window, and Luke rose to the challenge. 

He wrote about two words but paused, “Well that wouldn’t be fair.  _ You _ can read it still. Always could. Good or bad,” he pouted. 

“No, I’ll wave over that nice lady. The one whose son you tried to kidnap earlier,” she winked at him, standing up and stepping into the aisle-

“Julie, don’t you dare-”

“Try me,” She cupped her mouth with her hands,  _ “Excuse me, miss-!” _

Luke leapt up from his seat and tackled her back onto hers, as a last resort, tickling her into submission. 

Taken by surprise, Julie couldn’t shield herself, now at the mercy of Luke’s effective tickling. He poked at her stomach and then at her sides, and her involuntarily giggles filled up the entire car, harmonizing with Luke’s. 

_ “L-Luke! Ah!”  _ she reached over to get him back,  _ “S-stop. Haha!” _

The boy squirmed when she reached for his sensitive spot- the back of his neck, and he immediately conceded, his whole body tensing up and it gave Julie the opportunity to tickle his sides for good measure. 

He rolled onto the seat next to her, and she openly laughed at his breathless expression. Luke smiled, poking her one last time, triggering a high-pitched squeal that finally forced the other passengers to berate them and shush them for the disturbance. 

She and Luke shared an amused look, continuing their giggle fit like an exchange of whispers. 

“Yeah be quiet, Julie.”

“That was on you. You started it,” 

They laughed some more, leaning into it, almost butting their foreheads together from their close proximity. 

Julie’s laughs faded, taking in just how close she and Luke were. 

She knew his eyes were hazel. But they always were shifting between tones at a certain distance. You had to be pretty close to tell. 

And she was already so damn close and then some. 

The same thought seemed to run through Luke’s head because his laughter ceased. He stared at her, studying the features of her face as if it was the first time he saw her. She wondered what her eyes looked like to him now… Were they as brown as he remembered?

Brown eyes. 

Brad had brown eyes too. 

Brad, her boyfriend. 

“Luke, can I ask you something?” 

The boy’s features softened almost imperceptibly, but from this distance not one tick or quirk on his face went unnoticed by her. 

“Yeah...of course,” 

She bit her lip, “Can I download Instagram on your phone? I wanna let Brad know we’re coming,” she cast her gaze downwards, “So he can help us, you know?” 

Julie didn’t have to look at Luke to know that the softness had been traded for a stony demeanor.

It was in the way he spoke, roughly rummaging through his baggy coat pocket for the phone, and shoving it at her. 

“Right. Here you go. Call your boyfriend,”

He pushed himself off her row of seats and returned to his, sitting further away from her, at the window and not directly opposite her in the middle seat. He could sense her now staring at him, but he wouldn’t engage. 

Julie let out a sigh and reluctantly pulled her focus from the sulking boy and to the phone. 

She knew that she had done something by bringing up Brad, by saying his name. 

But whatever this was, it needed to be stopped. It was just as she suspected- the first moment of weakness and now Luke had all these ideas of what they were now, like they could just get back into some semblance of what they had when they were 14. 

She could hear him snoring now, already having made use of their train ride to get some much needed rest. 

He had been tired, that was it. Like her, he did stupid things when tired. 

_ Yeah this was all, just one big lapse of judgement.  _

Julie figured it was best to not bring up this little incident again. It wouldn’t be right to lord this mistake over Luke when he would probably just want to forget about this. She would be merciful for once. 

Right.

But Julie couldn’t shake this feeling- this feeling that remained even as she downloaded Instagram onto her phone, logged into her account, and was greeted by a photo grid of her, Brad, and all her friends- this feeling of loss. 

The loss of Luke’s presence right beside her… 

She didn’t think she minded it that much. 

But now it was all she could think about. 

Even as she pulled up the DM’s, and tapped on Brad’s circle, typing out messages: 

J.Molina: _Surprise babe!_

JMolina:  _ Guess who’s coming to see you?  _

  
It was still all she could think about...  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy late Christmas
> 
> this story needs to be done before January 
> 
> that's the new goal now
> 
> lol. 
> 
> There is a cheesecake reference...


	8. Palo Alto

Chapter 8 ‘Palo Alto’

The Oakland stop came all too soon. 

Julie did her best to get some rest, even set a timer so she and Luke could wake up just before they reached the station, but she stayed awake to constantly check if Carlos and Reggie had given an update on where they were. 

It was difficult to call them from the train when it would traverse areas with spotty connection as well as the tunnels. She would need to try them again and demand to know where they were, seeing as though she and Luke had taken their place on the train they were supposed to be on. 

Again, fingers crossed for a change of heart and the boys were boarding a train that would take them back to L.A. At least she could count on Reggie taking Carlos home. And maybe those two could meet up with Alex and Bobby at the house, they could all trash the place together. 

At least she would know where he was. 

Julie had been scrolling to refresh Instagram DM’s too, to see if Brad had responded to any of her messages.  She had given him the rundown on the situation and had asked to meet somewhere on campus. 

She had yet to receive a response, and she was growing concerned. 

Yeah, the college workload was killer, always had been this entire semester from what he told her, and Julie totally understood if Brad was drowning in books and papers in the Green library right now. She really wouldn’t want to bother him with this, especially if they needed to use his car to beat the boys where they were heading next. Brad could be quite particular about his car. 

Julie wanted to be the good girlfriend, super supportive and never nagging. But they really needed help and he was the only person she and Luke knew in the Bay Area. 

Speaking of Luke…

The moment they screeched to a halt at the Jack London station, he had reverted to his snarky self. 

After waking up, he had maintained a cranky attitude. He hadn’t even waited for Julie when the train stopped, already dashing down the aisle and off to the nearest exit (“Hurry up, princess. Waiting for a royal invitation?”). She had tripped over feet catching up to him on the terminal, still drowsy. 

Julie was roused by the harsh contrast of temperature once stepping off to yet another outdoor terminal, but there was a clear building nearby that she spotted Luke heading towards so they decided to take refuge there for the time being. 

Luke had taken up space on a seat and she sat across from him, best to keep distance with the way he had been acting recently. 

“So… did  _ Brad  _ decide to help us yet?” 

Luke uttered his name like how one would say Voldemort or Donald Trump. Julie glared at him for being so childish. Was he going to pass judgment on him like he had done with her friends earlier on the train? The guy who would be their saving grace. 

“He hasn’t responded to any of my messages,” Luke opened his mouth to comment but Julie was quicker, “ _ He has a take home final _ . He’s slammed with a lot of work, and could you blame him if he doesn’t answer his phone in the library?” 

Julie was certain that Brad would be working so hard. She heard him say how much he missed her during their short call earlier- the sooner he finished, the sooner he would be back home with her. 

“If I was in the library studying, I would use any excuse to look at my phone,” Julie shot him a look, and he sighed, “It’s probably dead or something, Julie. Now from the way I see it, we have two options: we sleep here tonight so we could catch the first train in the morning-”

“Ew. Pass,”

“-or we take an Uber to Stanford and see Brad, let us borrow his car. We’d waste time if we tried to go back for the van. We need to keep going,” 

Julie was surprised that Luke was taking the loss of the van so well. After what he told her, about taking up shelter at Bobby’s after fighting with his mom, she assumed that he hadn’t brought a lot of his belongings with him. 

The van had his guitar (backup, but still), and his music collection… her mom’s CD… 

She could propose to pay for it to be towed. Once this was all over. 

But right now, Luke was right. They need to get to keep gunning for Seattle, assuming the boys would take the same route. 

Luke brought up the Uber app. Stanford was a little over half an hour away and it racked up quite a charge. 

“I’ll pay you back,” Julie said once seeing the fare price. 

He shrugged, choosing UberX, “Whatever.” 

Wow. Ok. 

Julie knew she shouldn’t complain about Luke’s standoffish behavior because that was exactly what she wanted. They couldn’t be friendly with each other, not when there was so much left to unpack from her past and with so much pressure they’re under too. 

“It’ll be here in 10 minutes,” 

She hummed in acknowledgement, “Cool.” 

“Yup,” 

She had a feeling that the ride to Stanford would be a quiet one. 

* * *

_ Luke had thrown open her bedroom door, startling her as she hunched over her bed, picking through an array of clothes.  _

_ “A Christmas valentine song,” was all he had said, setting down his case and jumping onto her bed, making the pile of clothes bounce, “None of that ‘Baby It’s Cold Outside’ shit, this is gonna be cute and I think even your aunt would like it.”  _

_ “Didn’t you get the memo?” Julie threw a sweater at him, to which he landed on his face, “No party.” she grumbled. Luke had been relentless, trying to bring music back into this house but this was getting absolutely out of hand. It seemed like you couldn’t tell him no, not when it comes to music.  _

_ And out of all the times of the year to pull a stunt like this, now was especially not a good time.  _

_ Christmas was coming around the corner.  _

_ The first Christmas without her mom.  _

_ The usual festive cheer that would envelope the house was nowhere to be found. Not outside where there was a glaring lack of the colorful, twinkling lighting fixtures Rose Molina had been famous around the neighborhood for putting up. Or inside where there was no aroma of vanilla and cinnamon from the cookies they should have spent the past few days making.  _

_ And most of all- no Christmas music. Of any kind.  _

_ Their annual Molina family and friends Christmas showcase had been put on hold indefinitely.  _

_ Julie had to break the news to Luke when he came over with his guitar with ideas on how to spice up their Christmas set.  _

_ “No party?” He exclaimed incredulously, “This year was gonna be the year that I finally will convince your cousin to let me try his beer.”  _

_ “My aunt doesn’t think underage drinking is particularly cute,”  _

_ Luke made a face, taking notice of the clothes Julie had been sorting through on the bed, “No party huh? Then why are you going through the best of your wardrobe?”  _

_ Julie’s expression crumbled, “You think this is the best I could do?” She pointed at the clothes, clearly not happy with anything set out, “No, no, no. This won’t do.” She swiped everything off her bed, growling in frustration.  _

_ “Woah woah woah,” Luke was on the floor, gathering up the hangers and clothes, “What’s got you like this?”  _

_ “I’m going somewhere tonight,” Julie scrambled to her vanity, discarding her glasses and carefully applying her contacts- something that Luke only saw her do for special events, “Well… uh you know Carrie?”  _

_ “ Carrie Wilson?  Vapid, mean, and rich?” he frowned, “Yeah?”  _

_ “We’ve been…” Julie steeled herself, gripping the edges of her vanity, “well, we’ve been kinda hanging out lately.”  _

_ “You and her?”  _

_ “Why?” She cocked her hip, “You don’t think I’m cool enough to hang out with Carrie Wilson?”  _

_ “Carrie’s not cool!” Luke looked at her like she sprouted another head, “How did you even- how did you even get to hanging out?”  _

_ “Detention,”  _

_ Julie had been acting out at school, snapping at any teacher or student who dared to keep giving condolences or tried to be super nice to her around this time of year. One particular clapback at a nosy teacher landed her in the same detention classroom as Carrie, who had witnessed her performance and was widely impressed.  _

_ They had snuck away from detention early, and Carrie took her out in one of her dad’s cars to get drinks.  _

_ It had been the first time she hung out with someone who didn’t bring up her mom or handled her with kid gloves, and she had been grateful for that. They talked about Riverdale and clothes, and just regular teenage girl stuff (well, as regular as Carrie Wilson could be).  _

_ Soon enough, Carrie would wave to her when they crossed paths in the hallway. And later, Carrie introduced her to her friends, and Julie was surprised how welcoming they were, given the stories she and Luke would hear about them.  _

_ And then one day, Carrie had given Julie her number, “I’ll text you the details. I better see you there tonight,” she grinned, playfully nudging her before sashaying away.  _

_ “You’re going to a party? At Carrie’s?”  _

_ “Yeah,” Julie walked into her closet and chose a new dress, holding it in front of her before her full body mirror, “It’s gonna be fun. Do you wanna come with?”  _

_ “Do I wanna- do I wanna come with?” Her best friend scoffed, “I’d rather stick a toothpick under my toenail and kick a brick wall.”  _

_ “Violent imagination, much?” Julie quickly changed into her new dress and spun around to show Luke, “Okay, but what do you think?”  _

_ “I think you don’t look like yourself,” He dropped the clothes onto her bed, eyeing her up and down, “Scratch that. You haven’t been yourself lately. ”  _

_ “I’m trying something new,” Julie insisted, growing really annoyed, “I’m trying something new and this is the first time I've been kinda-sorta happy in a while, so why can’t you be kinda-sorta happy for me?”  _

_ “It’s hard to be happy for you when I don’t even know who ‘you’ are anymore!”  _

_ “Please, Luke. Not right now,”  _

_ “What are you talking about?”  _

_ “You’re doing that thing where you taking everything as some sort of personal attack-”  _

_ “When do I even do that?!”  _

_ “Oh come on, you’ve been acting like I slapped you in the face every time I tell you don’t want to freakin’ sing anymore-!”  _

_ “Because you’re wasting your talent!” Luke cried, wildly gesturing to her room where her keyboard used to be, to her desk where her mic used to be, “Music is a part of you! Your mom wouldn’t want you to-”  _

_ “ Do not talk about my mom!  Can everybody just stop talking about my mom for one freakin’ minute?!” she pushed past Luke, and sat at her vanity, her trembling hands reaching for her makeup, “God, like can’t I just go to a party without bringing it back to my mom. Back to music. Because that’s all you talk about. All you freakin’ care about!” _

_ “I care about you, Julie!”  _

_ “No,” she whirled around, “You care about your writing partner. Your muse! And I haven’t been producing so I’m no use to you anymore!”  _

_ “More like I’m no use to you anymore,” Luke shut his eyes, carding his hand through his hair, “You said you haven’t been happy. I don’t make you happy anymore, Jules? Being with Carrie makes you happy? Being one of Los Feliz’s ditzy airheads makes you happy?!”  _

_ “God, Luke! All we freakin’ do is fight!”  _

_ “Because you’re so stubborn!”  _

_ “And you’re just as bad! And insanely judgmental! You don’t even listen to me-!”  _

_ “I am listening!”  _

_ “Then listen to me when I say this” She stepped into his space, roughly poking him in the chest, “I’m going to that party tonight without you and I’m going to have a good time with my friends,”  _

_ “Since when do we have other friends?!”  _

_ “I don’t know. Ask your band!” Julie stomped over to her boots, putting them on. She looked at herself in the mirror- she was presentable. In a dress tighter and shorter than what she would go for, her hair straightened, and makeup done.  _

_ Luke glowered at her, treating her like a traitor, “I’m not going to let you turn into them, Julie.”  _

_ “What are you going to do about it?” She said, already heading for the door.  _

_ “You go to that party, we’re done,” _

_ Her hand froze on the doorknob. She turned to face him again slowly, “Excuse me?”  _

_ Luke was serious. His jaw was fixed and hazel eyes were stormy, “You heard me. You go to that party, you’re officially one of them. And I’ll know that I lost my best friend forever.”  _

_ “Are- are you kidding me?” _

_ “I wish I was,”  _

_ She crept towards him, “You would actually end everything just because of that?”  _

_ Luke looked her over one last time, “I don’t even know who I’m looking at, Julie. You’re scaring me.”  _

_ “I s-scare you?” Julie could feel her eyes welling up,”I’m- I’m not the one talking like it’s the end. I’m not the one looking at my best friend like that!” she pointed at him.  _

_ “Like what?”  _

_ “Like you don’t love me anymore!”  _

_ “I-I…” he faltered, and he had to turn his head sharply to avoid her gaze.  _

_ He was speechless. Luke Patterson was never speechless.  _

_ Julie gasped, hand over her mouth, choking out a sob, “Oh my god.”  _

_ “No!” Luke shook his head, “That’s not- I still love you, Julie!”  _

_ “Just not when I’m like this,” she dragged her hand over her dress, “Not when I’m with other people.”  _

_ “Those people!”  _

_ “Wow. Just wow,” Julie wiped away her tears, “You just want me to sit around the house and sulk and cry when I touch the piano, stewing in my grief? Because that’s exactly why I would want to go out! To forget all of that. If you don’t understand that-”  _

_ “I do!” _

_ “-then you’d understand that I never want to touch the piano again. Or sing!”  _

_ “You wouldn’t,” Luke took hold of her hands, “You don’t mean that. Music is everything to you. Your whole life is music, you’re lucky enough to have it in your life the way you do. It’s your talent. It’s a part of you. Your mom brought you music. It’s a gift and you were born to use it!”  _

_ Julie jutted her chin, and glared at him, “It’s not my fault that my mom actually gave a shit about my music. So don’t force all of that on me!”  _

_ It was deathly quiet in the room.  _

_ Luke’ hands went slack, and he dropped hers. _

_ “Go,” his voice coarse, “Go to your stupid party then.”  _

_ Julie’s face fell, “Luke-”  _

_ “Just go,” He picked up his guitar case and was already out the door, “I’ve had it! I’ve been trying to keep this relationship together but you’re right! All we do is fight!”  _

_ She followed him out into the hallway, “Luke please, is this- is this actually happening?”  _

_ He stopped just at the stairs, “We’re done. We’ve been done. For a while now haven’t we?”  _

_ “But after all we’ve been through, Luke!”  _

_ She had known this boy since Kindergarten, they weathered all these years of school together, helped each other through their worst moments- it was a 9 year relationship, almost a lifetime for them, on the line here.  _

_ Julie reached for his hand, she didn’t want him to go. They fought, but they always got through it. Right? _

_ He drew back; he was full on crying now, and that was when she knew. This was final.  _

_ “Goodbye, Julie.”  _

_ Then he was down the stairs and out the door.  _

_ Julie couldn’t remember how she returned to her room. One moment, she had been in the hallway and the next she was on the floor of her bedroom, crying her eyes out. She sat there for hours, planning to be sitting in her room to grieve once more…  _

_ But her phone kept ringing- Carrie wanted to know when she was coming.  _

_ She didn’t know what possessed her to pick herself off the floor, to wash her face and redo her makeup, and go to Carrie’s mansion in Malibu. Was it because no one could ever refuse Carrie Wilson? Or was it because she was unknowingly carrying out Luke’s wish? _

_ But she did and she wanted to get wrecked.  _

_ Julie gladly took the offered red cup Carrie had at the door and she downed the whole thing. She let herself be passed around amongst Carrie and Kayla, showing her around and making sure she was having a good time.  _

_ She didn’t tell them, but they had a feeling what happened.  _

_ She wanted to drink and party and forget about her mom, but she might as well drink and party to forget Luke, forget about the gaping hole left in her heart.  _

_ Julie stumbled off of the dance floor set up in the den and made a beeline for the drinks. She had overestimated the distance between herself and the table, and ended up bumping into the table, bouncing off and colliding with another individual.  _

_ “I’m so sorry,” She spun around to find Los Feliz’s most popular jock, Brad Meyers smiling down at her.  _

_ “No problem,” He pointed at the cup in her hand, “You running empty?”  _

_ She nodded and he grabbed the cup from her and filled it up. Now both of them with full drinks, Brad cocked his head towards the couches, “Wanna chill over there?”  _

_ “Uh…” Julie was stunned, and also a tad bit drunk. Before tonight, she didn’t think anyone like Brad would pay her any attention. But here he was- taking an obvious interest in her if (his gaze was anything like what Julie thought it was).  _

_ She could see movement out of the corner of her, and she turned to see Carrie and Kayla watching her from another table. Both of them shooing them off and giving her a thumbs up. ‘Go for it!’ They seemed to be telling her.  _

_ With the encouragement from her friends (and the alcohol) she accepted-  _

_ “Uh… yeah. Sure. Why not?”  _

* * *

“So this is university, huh?” Luke whistled after the Uber had dropped them off onto campus. The first time he spoke in the last half hour. 

She had been right to assume that the car ride would be quiet, apart from the Uber driver trying to strike up conversation. She had shared Luke’s sentiment of not wanting to sit through a long car ride in silence. But the didn’t seem to mind in this case. 

“Yeah,” she answered, marveling at the different buildings. 

Julie led the way, having already gone on the tour with Brad last year and had helped him move in at the beginning of the semester. 

She noticed that Luke was in a mix of awe and confusion as they got around and explored more of Stanford. She heard him mutter something about “Hogwarts-lookin’ shit” under his breath whenever they would come upon a new large building. 

“And you’re gonna go  _ here _ ?” 

“That’s the plan,” 

She could just picture it now: Her and Brad next year, chilling on the quad, talking about classes, starting a new chapter of her life. She had yet to make it official and choose Stanford but the future was practically here, and she had trouble containing her excitement for the future. 

“Well…” she addressed Luke, attempting to be more polite, “have you decided yet where you’re gonna go?”

Luke stuffed his hands in his pockets, “I decided to  _ not _ go.”

“Really?” 

“That’s an option, Julie. Contrary to popular belief, college is not the end all be all,

She nodded, “Yeah, I know…” 

“I’m sick of trying to explain that to people though,” 

That got Julie’s attention. People. Like his mom? 

The way Luke tensed up at the mention of college, and how the more he observed the architecture and the layout of Stanford, the more he frowned at everything- Julie had an inkling that might have been what they were arguing about the night he left home… 

His future had been a popular topic at the Patterson household. 

It would make sense, the fall before he was set to start his college career, stressing about the final decision making for the next 4 years, and with Luke probably booking gigs and left and right- it was a powder keg just waiting to go off. 

As much as she would want to linger on the campus, they were on a time crunch. So hopefully, Luke wouldn’t have to be longer than he had to. 

They were able to locate the Green Library, where Julie knew was where Brad would go to study. 

But he wasn’t there. 

Her and Luke had split up to cover more ground and came up empty. Like barely anybody was inside, and from what they could hear from outside with all the thumps of Christmas trap music playing and students going about in holiday-themed outfits- the frat parties would be a reason why. 

That was odd. He was supposed to be here finishing his final. 

But then again, maybe he had wrapped up early or was taking a break in his dorm. 

They checked there next. 

It wasn’t too far, only a couple buildings over. There they were greeted by an overzealous shirtless boy in a Santa hat and cotton ball beard, who after confirming that they were ‘Brad’s buds’, let them up to his dorm without a fuss. 

“The security of this place is astounding,” Luke commented as they reached Brad’s door. 

Julie raised her hand to knock, but stopped. She really didn’t want to be that clingy girlfriend barging in on him while he was trying to relax after finals. Like imagine how that would look? And if he didn’t read her messages, then this would have a true surprise and- 

Luke rolled his eyes and rapped his fist against the door in her stead while she called out Brad’s name and announced it was her. 

No one answered the door. 

She tried the doorknob and discovered it wasn’t locked. She cautiously opened the door to a low lit room, only illuminated by a desk lamp in the far corner. Julie switched on the lights so she could have a better look, and was relieved, but also not, to be in an empty room. 

It would have been awkward if they had stumbled on his roommate or something. 

But still no Brad. 

Again, she and Luke looked around, to see if there was any sign of him somewhere. Luke checked the conjoined suite bathrooms while Julie stayed by the beds.

His duffle bag was there. And so was his laptop, but that was it. 

Luke returned from the bathroom. 

“Did you find him?” she asked, “Or any sign of where he could have gone?” 

“No. Nothing” He gave a weak smile, as he quickly shut the bathroom door a bit too loudly. Luke shuffled out into the hallway, “Uh, let’s get out of here, yeah? Before someone realizes we’re not supposed to be here.”

_ Where could he be? _

* * *

Julie and Luke wandered aimlessly around campus until they ended up where the big rager was- at a series of frat houses that did its best to deck out for the holidays. 

(The colored lights and a snowman statue that was large balled up white-T shirts stacked up on top of each other were the shining examples of one house.)

She really didn’t know what to do. They were really banking on the next phase of their plan to catch up to Reggie and Carlos on coming to Stanford and recruiting Brad for their cause. 

Julie thought she would know where Brad would be because she had been the very attentive girlfriend that she was and remembered his hangouts and which library he would study at. 

Well none of those hangouts were open at 1 AM, and the situation was beginning to look hopeless. 

Luke’s phone buzzed in his pocket. 

Julie leaned over as he picked it up, “Is it Brad? Did he answer the messages?” 

The boy let out a breath, “It’s Reggie. Thank god!” 

A message from the boys? Finally!

They huddled over the phone. There was a text from Reggie, who had found a way to charge his phone. Apparently some kind stranger had a power bank he could use. 

**Reggie:** _Boarded last train of the night back in SJ. wanted to let u kno. U 2 looked angry :(_

Included was a selfie of him and Carlos. Her brother was fast asleep on Reggie’s lap while the teenager threw a peace sign at the camera. 

Luke texted a reply,  _ ‘where r u goin?’  _

**Reggie:** _same as before_

“Dammit!” Julie cursed, “They’re still going to the North Pole?” 

Weren’t they tired? Or homesick? What pushed them to do this in the first place? Yeah, Santa and the belief of Christmas magic or whatever. But that couldn’t possibly be enough? 

Reggie sent a ‘ttyl’ before signing off, probably going to sleep soon too. 

Julie squatted down, rubbing her eyes, “They’re on a train still. They’re gonna get too far. Let’s just take our chances and Uber to San Jose and get the van to follow-” she lifted her head to get Luke’s confirmation, but the boy had moved. 

He was walking towards the frat house. 

“Luke? What are you doing?” 

He rocked on the balls of his feet, his head shifting between looking back at her and at party central. 

“Let’s go in,” 

Did Julie hear that correctly? 

“I mean, it would be worth checking out,” Luke suggested, “Maybe Brad took a break, went to say ‘hi’ to some friends or something?”

“No. He wouldn’t,” 

Not when he had finals. Not when finals were the only thing keeping them apart for Christmas. She refused to believe that he would take a break to go partying. 

The possibility of Brad not being there only seemed to enthrall Luke more into going inside. Now, Julie was really confused. Why would he want to go in there so badly if it wasn’t because of Brad?

Her hesitance was on full display. This really wasn’t the time to do this. She argued this to Luke. 

The boy brushed it off, now embodying a more easy-going character, “Come on. Weren’t you just ready to party earlier today?” 

“Yeah. With my friends. Not random strangers,” 

“The same friends who hijacked your party. Admit it. You’re pissed about it,”

Julie had given into temptation and saw Kayla’s pics from the party tonight, and an ugly sensation settled in her stomach watching all the cool ideas she had for the party being praised as Kayla’s genius. 

It was her party and she didn’t even get to enjoy it. It hurt being just a spectator to the rest of her friends having a grand ol’ time at her expense. 

And she didn’t even get any videos and pictures that Kayla had promised, all the footage of the party was already up on her page and stories- no little messages of ‘wish you were here’ or cute selfies sent her way. 

Yeah. She was pissed. And Luke could tell. 

“Now, don’t you wanna rub it in their faces? That you’re too good to go to their lame high school party?”

Dammit. 

Julie hated how appealing it all sounded. Normally she would have challenged Luke for thinking so lowly of her that she could be easily swayed by an opportunity to party and to be petty. 

But Luke’s face was absent of judgement. He genuinely thought this was a good idea, and Julie was cautiously optimistic about this strange change of character. 

She straightened out her skirt and pushed her curly hair back behind her shoulders. “We are not drinking,” she warned him. She needed a little distraction, but not that big of a distraction. 

“Of course,” He bowed and swept his arm out towards the frat house, “After you.” 

* * *

Julie had been to a fair share of parties. 

But this was a little much. 

There was so much going in the foyer alone- couples pressed against the walls making out like there’s no tomorrow, various foods clinging to those same walls and the ceiling as well, and they immediately had to step over a guy dressed up as Buddy the elf who had passed out in front of the coat closet. 

(Luke and another guy turned the poor elf over and made sure he was breathing before they ventured deeper into the house.) 

Julie thought she could jump in seamlessly into the fold of the dancing bodies spilling out from the living room to the backyard cuz yeah, she deserved it and she was game. 

But couldn’t help but look at everything. It was interesting how even though there were the colored lights, the sexy-versions of Christmas cartoon character costumes littered amongst the crowd, and the Christmas trap music booming through the speakers- nothing about this party was actually Christmas. 

And that was what Julie wanted, right? To be at parties that had in no way shape of form harkened memories of Christmases past. To forget the holiday and let loose. 

Julie wanted to pin it on her sleep-addled brain, and the fact that it had been half a day of traveling, that she yearned for a quieter setting. A warmer setting. 

She thought she wanted to spend Christmas like this, but it just reminded her how much she missed home. 

Still, Julie immersed herself into the party. If she could get one dance in, then that would be enough for her to lift her spirits. 

She somehow ended up in the middle of the living room with Luke close behind. She had expected for him to peel out and explore, to create his own party experience, but he stuck with her after discarding his jacket in the coat room, keeping an eye on her as if he was going to lose her in this crowd. 

Julie hopped around, trying to get a feel of this dubstep version of that one Home Alone song when she noticed Luke not bouncing along to the beat like he normally did, instead closed himself in and was standing ramrod straight. He kept looking at everyone in the crowd, appearing like a lost puppy. 

“You’re the one who wanted to come here and now you’re standing here, stiff as a board,” she yelled at him, the music so loud that he might not be able to hear otherwise. 

He said something back to her, in a normal volume.    


“Luke, the stereo is too loud-” 

He pulled her in close to him, and whispered in her ear, “You’re right, ok.“

“Huh?” 

“I, uh, don’t know what to do at a party if I’m not up on a stage with my guitar. I admit it. Now if you’ll excuse me, lemme, just, go hang around by the walls,” Luke was about to sidestep his way out of the pulsing crowd when Julie’s hand shot out and hauled him back to her. 

“No, come on,” She wasn’t going to let him suffer being a wallflower. He needed this break too. And she knew just how he could let loose. 

Boosted by her tip-toes, Julie leaned into his ear, “Here’s a tip: If you’re not drinking, or making out with strangers- you dance.” 

“Dance? ” She fell back in time to see him gulp. 

He was a little out of his element here. He had never been much of a dancer, but he could move. But always to his own music and similar genres, and never to the kind of music they were playing at this party. 

Luke watched how everyone else was dancing: pelvises joined, bodies draping against each other, and all while jumping around to the intense electronic drops. 

His eyes widened. 

“Like  _ that? _ ” 

“Don’t be a Puritan. You have touched a girl, haven’t you?” 

Luke ducked his head, trying to hide his reddening face, “You’re making fun of me.” 

Oh lord. 

Like this guy, who has the body that he does, who could probably get any girl (or guy) to hit him up on the dance floor, was acting like a 12 year old boy who had just been told he needed to hold hands with a girl for P.E- mandated square dancing. 

He really needed to learn how to dance like this though if he was going to take a girl out one day. 

But he was clearly uncomfortable and she didn’t want to push him straight into the bumping and grinding. 

(Also, she definitely didn’t want to be the one to teach him any of that…)

“No, I’m not. Sorry,” She smiled reassuringly, “It’s just, how about I show you something simple you can do…” 

Just in time too because the song transitioned into something slower, which would have given Julie pause, given it would be a more intimate kind of vibe, but it was perfect to start Luke out with a slower tempo. 

Julie shuffled around and he mirrored her movements. And she threw in a little bounce in her step, knowing that Luke would for sure get that down pat. But what really made the move was the head movements, swinging side to side to the beat. Luke had rhythm so he was able to pick it up, self conscious as he did so. 

Her arms reached over and looped around his neck and Luke momentarily lost the beat. 

“Don’t worry. There’s still room for Jesus,” That made him laugh and her arms drooped along with his shoulders, now more at ease, “Now put your hands on my waist…” she whispered. 

“Got it,” 

He followed her instruction. Even though she knew it was coming, the sensation of Luke’s hands at her sides gave her goosebumps. 

Naturally, she swayed her hips and that drew Luke’s attention. And not soon after, he tried to do the same with his own lower half of the body. 

“This good?” 

“You’re getting it. And I gotta be honest with you,” she went to whisper in his ear again, “There’s actually no right way to do this. The general rule is to just look hot when you do anything on the dance floor.” 

Luke lowered his head, “I guess we’re nailing it then…” his hushed tone reached her ears, and she wasn’t sure if it was that or his words that made her shiver. 

Julie immediately turned around so Luke couldn’t see her getting flustered, but in doing so she ended up falling against him and his defined arms instinctively wrapped around her waist. She thought this warranted an ‘are you good?’ or an offer to take her off the dance floor to get some air, but no instead, Luke didn’t pause his movements. 

He thought they were still dancing. 

Whoops.

“Um… boss?” 

Julie tried to keep her breathing under control, “Yeah?” 

“Uh...where’s Jesus?” 

He was referring to now her back completely flushed against his front, and Julie wanted to laugh and scream into oblivion from just how skin was on fire underneath her sweater. 

“He’s…. off somewhere,” she croaked, “Can’t blame him though. Let him have his fun. I hear his birthday is coming up.” 

Luke’s chest rose and fell erratically from how hard he was laughing and they broke apart, Julie wheezing from her own lame joke too (that totally came about from her weird flustered state). 

She faced him again and they were leaning against each other, still in fits of laughter. Angling her head, she could see Luke biting his lip to keep from laughing anymore but that only made Julie want to laugh more. 

God they were still sleep deprived, weren’t they? 

While the last of the laughs were leaving Julie’s body, she heard Luke’s laugh get cut short. Her eyes snapped to his face- he was no longer in a good mood. His gaze faraway, he clenched his jaw. 

“Julie, we need to leave now,” 

“Huh?” 

It became clear to Julie now that Luke was staring at something across the room, she tried to look, but Luke clutched her shoulder and guided her in the other direction. 

“C’mon let’s go-” 

She brushed him off, wondering what rattled him up. “Luke, seriously, what’s going on-?” She turned around much to Luke’s protests. 

It was one of those couples they saw making out on the way in, in their natural habitat it seemed. The girl had the guy cornered up against the wall… just really going at it. 

She didn’t see what the big deal was or why Luke felt the need to put distance between them and the couple. 

That was until the girl pushed herself off the guy to catch some air that Julie could see why:

The guy she was kissing was Brad. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the many mistakes that are probably still in here. 
> 
> I just wanted to put this out.
> 
> I will edit later.
> 
> This shit is bananas.
> 
> I never meant to write the break up scene here, and I'm kinda nervous on how it turned out. I thought it would make a good parallel of him not wanting to go to the party with her before, to going with her to one now despite how uncomfortable he is... 
> 
> The GROWTH


	9. Palo Alto Part II

Chapter 9 ‘Palo Alto Part II’

It wasn’t connecting- her cognitive process and what she was looking at. 

It was like Julie’s mind could not comprehend the image of her freakin’ _boyfriend_ in a lip lock with some dirty blonde in a skin tight one-piece. 

Like, it couldn’t be him. It couldn’t be. 

Yet, it was him. That was his light floppy locks stuck to his sweat- slicked forehead, his half-lidded brown eyes that indicated just how freakin’ euphoric he was- 

Julie staggered forward. She had to go over there and just… just figure out what was going on. This was a mistake, right? She didn’t know the full story. He needed to explain himself.

_He better freakin’ explain himself_

She froze halfway through her steps. 

She felt sick to her stomach. 

Instead of storming over to where Brad was, Julie turned around and hightailed it out of the house. 

With the force of a big rig, she rammed through the partygoers, even leaping over unconscious Buddy the Elf on her way out of the door.

Huge surprise that she even saw him- her vision was already blurry from tears. 

_“Julie! Wait!”_

Luke went after her. Of course he did. 

Julie didn’t stop for him, just wanting to get the hell out of here. Out of this neighborhood. Out of this _campus_.

God, she couldn’t look at any of the buildings the same anymore. Her picture perfect future she imagined for herself at Stanford went up in smoke just like that. 

Luke’s labored breath grew louder as he caught up to her, a hand on her forearm to keep her from going on without him, “Julie, wait.” 

She pivoted, “ _What?”_

She was shaking, and not from the cold this time. 

Arms crossed, Julie stared at him expectantly. 

Luke had been in such a hurry that he had left his jacket back inside. He was rubbing his arms, kicking the ground, “Look, Brad Meyers is a dick.”

Julie gaped at him. _Those were his words of comfort?_

“Yeah. But he was also my boyfriend for the last 3 years!” she found herself screaming at him, a stray tear running down her cheek. She dried it up with her sweater sleeve, “Can’t you see _maybe_ that’s why I’m reacting so poorly?” 

She pushed away, back turned to him and she was off again, not wanting him to see her completely lose it. 

“That was messed up!” he pressed on, trailing after her, “You didn’t deserve to find out this way! God, you know what? I should have manned up and just- _shit_ ,” 

Julie did a full 180, “Should have done what?” 

No response. He played with his fingers, eyes fixed on the ground, “Nothing...” 

“Lucas Theodore Patterson,” she enunciated slowly, voice cracking, “Finish that sentence.” 

The boy’s eyes were sapped from his usual energy. He didn’t want to fight, but he didn’t want to tell her. Nevertheless, he had his phone out. 

“I should have told you… what I found in his room,” 

As soon as his gallery was opened, Julie snatched it from his hands, “What are you talking about?” 

“A scarf, Julie. A girl’s scarf,” He swiped through the photos he took in Brad’s bathroom. And there, on a hook adjacent to Brad’s shaving products, was one of those nice silk scarves. 

“That wouldn’t mean he was cheating on me. It’s a shared bathroom-” 

“I thought so too. Decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. Maybe he has an affinity for Hermès scarves and flowery perfume. But then I, personally, think he’d be keeping a different secret entirely-” 

She thrusted the phone into his chest, angrily, “Are you seriously trying to make a joke right now?” 

“Just… what did you expect? From a guy like that?” He pocketed his phone, pointing back at the frat house,

“Don’t you remember what he was like in high school? The golden boy of Los Feliz? He treated everyone who wasn’t in his inner circle like trash. He only cared about himself and his reputation,” 

Was he serious? Julie brooded. He was choosing _now_ to badmouth Brad? To turn this into some sort of ‘I told you so’ schtick? Luke always knew how to make her feel like an absolute idiot while trying to comfort her. 

“So you’re saying that I should have seen this coming? That I was naive for thinking my college boyfriend was going to be loyal?” 

“For thinking _that_ guy was going to be loyal!” 

But Brad had been loyal! He had been sweet to her, always doting on her and never pushy. He never did anything to make her upset and vice versa. This betrayal literally came out of left field, and… she was… she was

Trying to figure it out, goddamn it!

“You know what? You think you’re helping, but you’re really not!”

“Julie-” 

He reached for her but she dodged his hand. “Just leave me alone! God, I just-” The tears were coming and she blotted at them furiously, “I just need some space!” 

Fortunately for Julie, her shouts took and Luke didn’t dare to follow her as she sprinted to wherever. 

All she knew that she didn’t want to run into either Brad or Luke so soon. 

* * *

Julie ended up at another frat house the next street over. She hadn’t been walking for 5 minutes when she realized that she had to go to the bathroom. 

They were having a party too, but it wasn’t as occupied as the one she and Luke had been at, probably reaching its end at this late hour. Maybe this bode well for Julie and that meant the line for the bathroom wouldn’t be incredibly long. 

The universe decided to cut her some slack because she found the bathroom with no line and no one hooking up inside. 

After concluding her business, Julie tipped the toilet lid over, sat down on it, and let herself have that well needed cry. 

How could this happen? 

She honestly thought that her and Brad were okay? 

Sure, it was tough doing long distance. But it wasn’t like they lived on opposite sides of the planet! They were in the same time zone and everything.

They couldn’t talk often and Julie blamed it on the college workload, but now she analyzed every conversation she and Brad even had while he was at college.

How many times had he said that he was going to turn in early for a morning class? How many times did he have to cut their call short because he needed to study?

How many of those times did he actually tell her the truth? 

Julie felt cheated. In more ways than one. 

Here she was, having centered the next 4 years of her life on this idea Brad had planted in her head. She thought she was going to find the answers here in Stanford and with Brad by her side. 

Did she even want to go to Stanford anymore? 

Julie slapped herself, searching for reasons to attend Stanford specifically that had nothing to do with Brad.

She cursed when she came up empty.

Nothing but the reason for ‘Stanford not being L.A’ seemed to come to mind. Which was total bullshit because she had been accepted in schools on the east coast too and she could have easily picked one of them to attend next year. 

Luke was right. So begrudgingly right. 

She had been a total idiot.

Was any decision she made really her own? This whole time? 

She stood up and walked over to the mirror. 

Her makeup had been smudged off from her tears and she had to clean it up with a damp towel.

Her contacts itched and tickled her eyes and she wanted nothing more than to swap it out for her glasses.

Her hair was back to its natural state- full and curly, not having the opportunity to tame it or comb through it the whole day. 

If she had been taking a stroll out in public, her friends wouldn’t have been able to recognize her. 

_Her friends._

Now come to think of it, Carrie had been the one to gift her a straightener. Kayla had hooked her up with a Sephora haul. 

She went with it… because that was what she wanted. To want what they want. 

To want material objects and act like that was all there was to it. Voids could be filled with shoes, with trips to Hawaii, with hunky jock boyfriends. 

She had never heard her friends complain once about anything real. No heart to hearts, only the “I’m so ugly” “Girl, no. You’re gorgeous!” exchange that gave some indication of any sharing of insecurities. 

No talking about trauma. Or depression. Or dead moms. 

She was living a lie, wasn’t she? 

Suddenly, the door swung open and a girl rushed in with a pair of shoes in one hand and a cup in another. In her rush to close the door and set her cup on the counter, she hadn’t noticed the bathroom wasn’t vacant. 

She jumped back in surprise at the sight of Julie, already groping the door for the handle, “Oh shit. Sorry, I didn’t know anyone else is in here-” 

“It’s- it’s fine,” Julie sniffled, “I wasn’t… I wasn’t doing anything,” 

The girl held up her boots, “Do you mind if I just use the sink?”

Julie saw that there was a splatter of red on the otherwise light-toned canvas boots. She sidestepped, “Go for it.” 

_“Thank you!”_

The girl had more sense than Julie, locking the door before conducting bathroom-related affairs. 

Julie wasn’t sure what to do so she resumed sitting on the toilet, eyes on her fidgety hands. She didn’t want to be rude and play audience to this girl’s distress. 

“Ugh, seriously. What kind of person would drink in a coat closet?” the girl scrubbed at the fabric under the tap “Ridiculous, right?” 

“It is,” Julie replied because it was. She had figured that with the cup in her hand, that the girl had spilled her own drink onto her shoes. 

Yeah, she could see why the girl appeared to be quietly planning someone’s murder as she cleaned up the red in futile. 

“Now look at my boots!” She dropped them into the sink and clutched at her leopard print bucket hat in frustration, “They were _white!_ ” 

Julie felt for her. That was awful. She joined her at the sink to assess the damage. “Is that a Hawaiian Punch mixer?” 

“Yes!” 

“I’m sorry,” Julie patted her shoulder, “but that’s never coming out.”

“Dammit!” The girl teetered and she took her hat off to fan herself with it, “I finally took up my cousin’s offer for a night out and this is what happens! I don’t even go here!” 

“Me neither,” 

“Psst. Between us,” she leaned in and Julie could smell the alcohol in her breath, ”I’m still in high school.” 

“No way, me too,” 

The girl stuck her thumb towards the door, “These things are crazy, aren’t they? Makes me wonder why I’m in such a hurry to go to college after I graduate this year.” 

“Starting to feel the same way…” Julie rolled her eyes. Now she wasn’t really in a hurry to go anywhere until she figured out exactly what _she_ wanted.

_Thanks, Brad._

Then the girl’s bronze complexion paled sharply and Julie’s hand shot out to steady her as she stumbled forward, “Hey, are you okay? You don’t look so good.” 

“Just… I’m fine,” She smiled, “No really. I’m-” Her sentence was cut short, then her eyes doubled in size, cheeks puffing up. 

“Woah!” 

Instincts took over, and Julie threw open the toilet lid in a flash and pushed the girl into kneeling in front of the bowl just in time for her to unload her stomach into the water. 

Julie swept the girl’s braids back and held them in her fist, her other hand rubbing her back. She knew the drill. 

The girl resurfaced, embarrassed, “I swear, I don’t get like this-” a dry heave this time cut her off and she was back in the bowl. 

Julie had been in this same position before and assured the girl that there was no shame in letting out something that shouldn’t be in her system. 

“How much did you have?” she did ask her once it was clear that the storm passed. 

The girl accepted the damp towel Julie had used to wipe the corners of her mouth, “Like-” she hiccuped, “Two cups.” 

“I think that’s enough for you for one night,” 

“But I-” The girl’s eyes flitted towards her cup, “I wanna finish my drink-” 

Julie grabbed the cup and chugged the rest of it down before the girl could take it. 

“What drink?” she coughed. 

“Woah okay. I mean, I don’t have mono or anything, if you’re wondering,” 

Julie winced at the taste in her mouth, “I really did drink a stranger’s drink, didn’t I?” 

“You’re crazy” The girl giggled, “I like you.” 

They heard impatient banging from the door, and Julie figured they needed to skedaddle, seeing as though the girl was ok. 

She was still on the floor when Julie went over to haul her to her feet. She couldn’t leave her here. 

“But my shoes?” 

“Just curious. What size are you?” 

“8” 

Julie kicked off her own boots, “Squeeze into a 7.5 for me?” 

“But-” 

“I’m wearing fuzzy socks, you’re not.” 

In a couple minutes, Julie had the girl’s arm slung over her shoulder whilst she carried a still wet pair of not-white-anymore boots with one hand. 

They pushed past the drunk student waiting by the door and soon they were on the street. They both hobbled down the road, both because the girl was sporting shoes that were tight on her feet and because Julie skipped at the pebbles piercing the flat of her feet through her thick socks. 

“Where’s your cousin’s dorm?” 

“Not… far,” The girl blew out her lips, “This is like the worst night ever. Didn’t mean to ruin yours,” 

“Trust me. You couldn’t ruin it more,” They careened around a bend in the road, and Julie for some reason decided to be forthcoming to this random stranger who was wearing her shoes,

“...just found out the guy I have been in a long term relationship with cheated on me,” 

The girl clicked her tongue, “Dammit. Yeah. You win. ” 

“ _And_ my little brother’s missing. I have to get him back before my dad finds out,” 

“Then, why are you here? Is he here?” The girl rotated her head, scoping out their surroundings as if Carlos was hiding somewhere in the bushes.

Julie found it endearing that she was willing to search for him, for someone she didn't even know.

“Would you believe me if I told you he was trying to visit Santa right now?” 

The girl laughed, slapping Julie on the shoulder, “That’s bonkers!”

They came upon the dorms and they both breathed a sigh of relief once they were inside on smoother surfaces. 

The elevators dinged open and they let out a victorious whoop once they limped inside. 

“Since you tied my hair back and lent me these shoes- cute, by the way- I guess I at least owe you my name,” The girl extended her hand, “I’m Flynn,” 

She dropped the girl's still sopping wet shoes and shook it, “Julie.”

“Nice to meet ya, Julie,” 

* * *

Julie didn’t know how it happened exactly. 

She thought she was going to drop off Flynn at her cousin’s dorm, make sure the girl was all good, then try her luck in finding Luke. 

She certainly didn’t expect her to be on a dorm room floor, with her head in the other girl’s lap, lamenting to her about the Carlos situation and the Brad thing: 

“Are take home finals even a thing?” 

Flynn gasped, “He said that?”

And without disturbing Julie, she moved to retrieve something from the mini-fridge situated to her left. She procured a cheese stick and handed one to Julie.

“Girl, real or not, what kind of professor would give someone a take home final right before Christmas?” 

Julie stringed a piece and popped it in her mouth, “I really am an idiot.” 

“No! _He’s_ an idiot! So sick of it being pinned on the cheated than the cheater- like come on!” 

“Amen to that,” They clicked their cheese sticks together in a toast, “But I really should ask you why you had your shoes off at a frat party?” 

Flynn groaned, “My momma would kill me if I tracked dirt into the house. Or any house. We’re all about shoes off and slippers on,” 

“My mom was the same way!” Julie shot up, “Like I never understood why anyone would want to wear their shoes inside.” 

They shared a look. 

_“White people,”_ They said together and they laughed loudly. 

Julie smiled, “My mom, she uh, she used to clear out this table we had, like right near the door. It would be where we put keys and mail and junk. She would always move that or whatever was in the way every time we had a big gathering. She needed to make room for everyone’s shoes. She would not let anyone inside unless they took off their shoes.” 

She shifted so that she sat next to Flynn, “On Christmas, after this party we would have for our friends and family, you’d walk back to door to find a little treat or two stuffed into your smelly shoes.” 

“Did you have babies or toddlers over too?” Flynn gushed, “Because I’m imagining like an M&M or two just hiding in there waiting for them-” 

“Oh my god, yes! She even left presents for our baby cousins. So adorable.” 

“Your mom sounds great,” 

“Yeah. She was,” she swallowed, “She, uh, passed away some years ago.” 

Flynn frowned. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

“Nah. It’s cool,” 

“No, it’s not,” 

That response puzzled her, “What?” 

“My grandpa died some years ago too,” Flynn explained, “I know it’s not the same, but this time of year just sucks, doesn’t it? When you lose people?”

Julie nodded solemnly, “Yeah.” 

“I think that’s why my cousin wants to go out partying tonight rather than be home with us,” 

“It’s easier,” 

“Easier? Hell yeah. But does it help?” 

Julie leaned her head against Flynn’s shoulder, “No. I don’t think it does.” 

“I think talking about it helps,” 

“Like what we’re doing now?”

It was then that Julie realized that it had been the first time she had spoken about her mother out loud. And to a person she had just met no less. She couldn’t even get into it with Carrie, Kayla, or even Nick, even going as far as to strategically curb the conversation away from her mom or her family entirely. 

Talking about mom with Flynn… had been nice. And she didn’t get coddled or handled with kid gloves. She understood. 

“Is it helping, Julie?” 

She sighed, “Yes. Thank you, Flynn.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” She patted Julie on the head, lovingly. A gesture that was often reserved for close friends, and Julie couldn’t shake the feeling that they might as well be. After the stuff they shared just now. 

The hard truth was, if Flynn had gone to Los Feliz Julie wouldn’t have hung out with her. (The girl was wearing baby bottle nipples as earrings- that would have been an invitation for ridicule and to cast her off as some artsy weirdo). 

But Flynn was actually pretty cool. 

“Do you know what I also think would help?” Julie watched Flynn extricate herself from their embrace to rifle through the mini fridge once more. 

A carton of eggs was placed in front of her. 

“... a little revenge.” 

Yup, Julie decided. Flynn was the coolest. 

* * *

They found Brad’s Tesla. 

Julie knew where he parked it. 

Flynn didn’t have any replacement shoes so she still wore Julie’s. But she had refused to let Julie step out in her socks. 

“Woah,” was all Julie could say after being presented with a pair of dinosaur foot slippers. 

“Like I said. Shoes off, slippers on household. I’m getting a new pair for Christmas anyway,” 

‘Beggars can’t be choosers’ she had reminded herself jumping into the very comfortable piece of footwear, no longer caring what she looked like anymore. 

They crept behind a row of cars across from his, in case campus security was out on the prowl. 

Flynn cradled the carton against her side, opening it up and giving an egg to Julie, but not before kissing it for good luck, “May it strike true.” 

Julie placed a hand on her shoulder, “You’re the bravest warrior, I’ve ever met. I’m lucky to have you by side as we reign yolk-y hell on the enemy chariot.” 

“Stop. You’re making me cry,” She rubbed her bottom lashes, “I was having a really good eyeliner day.” 

“Keep an eye out for me?” 

“I got you,” 

Julie took a deep breath. This was so wrong, she shouldn’t have to stoop to this level to make her feel better. 

But then again, she was petty as hell and Flynn encouraged it so… 

Julie, with her egg, sneaked behind the next car over, the one directly across from Brad’s Tesla. She was about to launch the first blow when all of the sudden she heard someone coming. 

Her eyes locked onto Flynn’s, and they both ducked for cover. 

Keeping her ears open, she picked up the footsteps of only one person. A person who, from what Julie could tell, was heading towards Tesla's direction.

The tiny beep signaled that it was being unlocked, and Julie cursed. Brad must be there. 

Slowly, she rose from her spot, just to make sure. There was a figure next to the Tesla, swearing up a storm. 

“How the hell-?” She heard, followed by a series of more explicit words, “How does this _open_?!” 

Hold on. That wasn’t Brad. 

This guy was too short, too messy, and too angry to be Brad. 

_“Luke?”_

The boy yelped, dropping the card that would unlock the car. He had his hands up in surrender but lowered them when he saw who called out his name. 

_“Julie?”_

And as far as good timing went, Flynn sprouted from her hiding spot, throwing an egg, _“_ _Have at thee, white boy!”_

The egg made contact with Luke’s shirt, splattering yolk against his _Ramones_ shirt. 

“Hey!” He ran his fingers through the gooey mess, glaring at Flynn. 

“Flynn!” Julie cried, “that’s not him!” 

“That isn’t? Oops,” Flynn hid the carton behind her back, “To be fair, you never said his name.” 

The boy’s expression morphed into one of disgust as he mourned the loss of his favorite shirt. 

“Made a new friend, Julie?” 

* * *

After showing Luke how to open the Tesla, they all piled in and drove back to drop off Flynn at the dorms again. 

“How did you get the key?” was the million dollar question Julie asked settling into the passenger seat. 

Luke drove slowly, trying to acclimate to the Tesla controls as well as keeping an ear out for Flynn’s directions. 

“Went back to douche canoe’s room and took it. We need a car. And he for sure owes you.” He revealed. 

“Really? Why was it-?” 

“So, Flynn,” Luke interrupted, “You live in the area?” 

Flynn eyed him warily, most likely anticipating a lecture about her running his shirt, to which she had already apologized for. But she answered him anyway. 

“I’m from Berkeley, but my cousin, who’s a student here wanted to show me a glimpse of college life. She’s been trying to convince me to go here,” 

“So, what’s the verdict?” 

“Not really my vibe. The parties are fun and all, but I kinda want to leave the Bay,” 

“Maybe head down SoCal where we are?” 

“Actually considering it. I did get accepted to some schools down there. Where did you get accepted?” 

“Some local schools. But I’m not really about the college life. Gonna skip out.” 

“Mad respect, man,” 

“Thanks,” Luke said, pleasantly surprised by that reaction. 

“Like no seriously. People go to college to figure out what they want to do. I’m guessing you already know what you wanna do,” 

“Yeah. I want to be a musician,” 

“No way! That’s cool. I’m into music too! Was thinking about going into sound engineering. To produce my own stuff!” 

“Forget me. Now _that_ ’s cool!” Luke laughed in disbelief. 

Then the two started rapping about music, their different influences, and even though their taste in genres couldn’t be more different, Julie knew Luke didn’t care in this instance, Flynn’s own passion for the art was evident and so he was down to talk. 

“Julie, where did you find her?” 

Amused by how Flynn was just _that_ awesome that Luke was already warming up to her, Julie shook her head.

“I’ll never tell.” she said, zipping her lips. Flynn shot her a grateful expression from the back seat. 

“Julie, where did you get accepted?” Flynn asked. 

“Mostly California schools. Well, Stanford for one thing,” she scrunched her nose, “And Berkeley, actually. USC, CSU, UCLA-” 

“Hold up,” Luke nearly crashed the car, “You got into UCLA?” 

“Yeah,”

He looked at her in awe, “That’s- that’s really great Julie. Like, seriously.” 

“I second that! That’s really great!” Flynn piped up, “Great school.” 

Huh. Now that Julie thought about it. It really was, from what she had researched and what her family, alumni, had told her about it.

And even though she hadn’t been in the game in a while, being in the company of singers/dancers like Carrie and Kayla told her that the music programs were really good down there. 

That was something to consider. 

If she ever got back into it. 

But it sounded perfect for someone like Flynn, and someone like Luke if he ever decided to go. 

“Yeah. I guess it is..” 

* * *

Julie walked Flynn up the stairs leading to the dorms, her new dinosaur slippers squeaking as she did so. 

Luke had parked and was waiting across the street. He had already bid a farewell to Flynn and had wished her luck in choosing a school, not so subtly suggesting that she should go SoCal. 

“I don’t care what you say to her, Julie, she needs to come to L.A” he had whispered to her as she passed him. 

She had saluted, “Aye aye, captain.” 

Julie joked, but she agreed with him wholeheartedly. 

The possibility of Flynn coming down to L.A was a comforting thought seeing as though they had to part ways now, she mused sadly. 

They lingered outside, not wanting to say goodbye just yet. 

“Heart eyes much?” Flynn nudged Julie, referring to Luke leaning against the Tesla, keeping watch on them.

“What?” 

“I’m gonna ask one more time: Are you sure that guy isn’t your boyfriend?” 

“Pretty sure,” 

“Somebody should tell his face that,” 

“I mean. We did date. Used to. Like, years ago,” 

“Oh,” 

“But it’s like, so, over,” 

Flynn laughed as if Julie told her a joke. The girl’s hands went to bracket her shoulder.

“Sweetie, that boy punched a guy and stole his car keys for you. And is going to drive over state lines to help you get your brother back,” She nodded at the Luke’s direction, “Whatever you guys have is far from ‘over’,” 

The inner edges of Julie’s eyebrows scrunched together, “Wait. _Punch?_ ” 

“Did you really buy his ‘Swiper the Sneaky Fox’ story? No guy would ever leave behind his car key, especially a key to a freakin’ Tesla?”

Flynn lowered her voice, “Also, I caught him nursing his fist before we came up the stairs.” 

Julie peered over at Luke, stunned. Did he really?

“Now look," Flynn continued, "I don’t approve of the whole defending a girl’s honor via violence. This whole machismo thing is not flattering. But I think I can make an exception in this case.” 

“Why?” 

“Because you’re freakin’ great, Julie. I’ve only known you for like an hour, and I could already tell. Ol’ Biceps McGee over there knows it too. And if a guy who’s been with you for 3 years doesn’t see your greatness then he deserves to get some sense knocked into him. Literally,”

Julie was speechless. 

Flynn truly was something. 

Overcome with a wave of emotion, she tugged the other girl into a tight embrace.

Flynn buried her head into the shoulder, bringing her fists around Julie’s neck. She could feel the girl’s many bracelets tickle her and she almost ruined the moment by cackling. ( She was really ticklish, okay?)

“It’s weird. We have only known each other for an hour, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.” 

“Same here,” They parted, “it’s the ‘holding my hair back while I puked’ for me,” 

A tiny laugh escaped her. “It’s the ‘egging my ex in the chest’ for me,” She playfully punched Flynn in the shoulder. 

“Goodnight, Julie. Hope the rest of your trip goes well,” 

“Me too. Goodnight, Flynn,” 

* * *

Julie returned to the car after making sure Flynn was in the elevator. Luke had already gotten in the driver’s seat by the time she got back. 

He straightened up, “How was Flynn? Did she go up okay-?” 

“Did you punch Brad?” she asked emotionless, eyes fixed in front of her. 

Luke sighed, “...yeah,” 

“Let me see,” 

Reluctantly, he held out his hand. She brought herself to inspect the wounds- his knuckles were red, some spots bloody but nothing broken. Julie ran her fingers over the cuts, earning a hiss from Luke. 

“This is your playing hand,” 

His hazel eyes flashed at her, “I know.” 

Julie regarded him, astonished. 

Luke had really gone back into that frat house to confront Brad, his 5’8’’ to Brad’s 6’1’’, knowing full well that he had an important gig in a few days' time, still socked him with his good hand and demanded the keys to his car. 

“Anyway,” Luke concealed his hand with his long sleeve, and brought it onto the wheel, “Rest up. I’ll get us to Seattle,”

She shook her head, “Wake me up in a couple hours. We’ll switch.” 

“Yeah. Sure,” he said, not making promises. 

She didn’t want to fall asleep so quickly, not when there was stuff they needed to talk about. But, it was late and the day’s events were catching up to her. The contours of her body melded into the seat and she couldn’t move, her eyes already drooping. 

“I am really sorry, Julie,” she swore she heard Luke whisper to her. 

“S’okay,” Her head shifted, so she could see him better, “Did you really just steal a car for me?” 

“I’m trying to get Reggie back. Remember?” 

“Uh huh" she mumbled, losing consciousness, "I know you care...” 

Luke smiled despite himself, “Sure. whatever you say, Julie.” 

His smile was the last thing she saw before drifting off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Flynn's here!!!!!
> 
> If you had been wondering where she was in this universe, then here she is. 
> 
> And as you can see- Double Trouble still prevails!!!
> 
> Also, I didn't do too much research into Teslas. 
> 
> Because I honestly don't give a fuck about them. 
> 
> Again, this would be skimmed over for errors later. 
> 
> I NEED TO PUT THESE OUT FOR Y'ALL


	10. Seattle

Chapter 10 ‘Seattle’ 

Julie dreamt of her mom. 

She was in the studio- the studio the way it looked while her mom had been alive. 

The instruments were on full display, not hidden in taped up boxes or concealed by dust covers. The plants in the back appeared to be freshly watered, the greens the most vibrant Julie had ever seen, the dahlias in full bloom.

The sun seeped through that window, backlighting the plants, Julie, and the piano she was currently seated at. 

“Mija?”

Her mom sauntered in. Though the way her long ruffled skirt flowed past her feet, she seemed to be floating towards her.

She rested her elbows on top of the piano, the warmest gaze rested on her daughter. 

“Yeah?” 

Rose tapped a finger against the wood. 

“Play me something?” she implored. 

Julie lifted the piano lid and her hands hovered over the keys. And like the many attempts since her mother’s death. She couldn’t play a single note. 

“I can’t,” 

“Are you sure?” 

Julie blinked and her mother was now beside her. 

Rose’s hands ghosted over Julie’s before she pinched her daughter’s fingers, bending them, testing her joints. 

“Seems like you can,” 

“No, mom. I- I don’t want to,” 

She frowned, “How come?” 

“Because you’re not here,” 

Rose pouted. She gestured at her body with a flourish of her hand, “But I am here, aren’t I?” 

“No,” Julie sighed, “Like _here_ here.” 

A hint of bittersweetness flashed across Rose’s expression, a smile tugging against the corners of her mouth. 

The woman inched forward and cupped her daughter’s face. Julie immediately reached up and blanketed her hands over her mom’s, eyes fluttering closed at the contact. 

“Do you remember what you said about music? How it’s fun, how it’s natural- It’s like being able to breathe?” 

Julie nodded. 

“All this time, _mija_ , you haven’t been able to breathe?” 

The words unlocked something in Julie, and the tears flowed freely from her face. Her whole body shuddered, and her mom guided her head to rest on her chest. She never- she never thought about it like that. But it was exactly what it felt like. 

Life stopped once her mom had died. Every intake of air felt hollow. Every morning, every night passed meant nothing. 

“Y-yes,” 

Rose guided Julie’s head to rest against her chest, like how she normally would to comfort her, stroking her hair and sending soft shushes into her forehead before placing a kiss there. 

“Please breathe, Julie. Go and live, for me,” 

“But-” 

Her mother bent over and gently butted her forehead against hers, “Like I said. I’m here. Always have been. Always will be.” 

With one last kiss to her forehead, Julie looked up and her mother was gone. 

But the studio remained. The sunlight had stayed. The world was in full color still. 

She pursued the area, searching for her but her eyes landed on top of the piano. 

There, wrapped in white paper and enveloped in marker doodles, was her old microphone... 

Already plugged in. 

Ready to go. 

* * *

Julie stirred and her eyes opened to the brightest white she had ever seen. 

It was daytime. 

And it was snowing. 

Wait, it was already daytime. How long had she been out for? 

“And so she wakes,” 

Julie pushed herself to sit up properly. She took in Luke hunched over the wheel- eyes bloodshot but still in high spirits. 

“Where-?”

She tried peeking out the window but got distracted at all the flurries whizzing by and the overall white landscape. They were on a freeway though, stuck in a bit of traffic but nothing a couple Angelenos couldn’t handle.

“Where are we?” 

“Gonna hit Seattle, soon,” he rasped, “About 20 more minutes,” 

Julie settled away from the window. Then she let her eyes wander over Luke’s haggard form. 

“You look like shit,” 

“Driving about 13 hours could do that to you. And before you ask. Yes, I did pull over a lot. 1) because I didn’t know how to charge this freakin’ thing and I had to look it up and 2) I needed so much caffeine you don’t even know. And 3) I did stop to take mini naps. I’m not a robot,” 

“But... we have a Tesla,” 

“Yeah, been a pain in the ass for me to figure out.” 

“You didn’t try the autodrive feature?”

Luke blinked, head turning slowly towards her, “Excuse me… the _what_ _now?_ ” 

“It could drive by itself. Not like cruise control but like actually kinda autopilots. It’s crazy and I saw Brad do it a couple of times, but it might have helped-” 

“You’re messing with me, Jules,” 

“I’m so not,” 

Luke’s eye twitched. 

“So you’re telling me… that I could have let this thing drive us to Seattle?” 

“...yeah.” 

Luke’s hands tightened around the steering wheel, his left more so than his right hand (still bruised from decking Brad). He sucked in his bottom lip, his eyes held somewhat of psychotic spark. 

“Are you okay?” 

“Just peachy,” 

Julie offered a sympathetic smile, “Do you want to pull over and switch-” 

_“Please,”_

The traffic moved on steadily and they were able to get moving again. Once finding a less busy section of the freeway, Luke directed the car into a shoulder and they swapped places. 

Julie got them on the road again, and they could see the wonderful exit signs that informed them of Seattle's vast approach. Luke wasted no time sinking into the chair, kicking his feet up onto the dashboard. 

He was not quite conked out yet, glowering at the console, his brain still broken from trying to figure out how in the hell a car could drive _itself_. 

“If it makes you feel better, I will be driving us back from Seattle and I won’t use the autodrive,”

They drove on for a couple of minutes before the boy next to her emitted a sleepy giggle. 

“... you don’t know how to work it either, do you?” 

She sighed, “No freakin’ clue,” 

“Ha. Knew it,” 

“Go to sleep, Luke,” 

* * *

Seattle. 

Her first white Christmas. 

Julie had lived in L.A all her life and any family they would ever visit for the holidays were clustered together in SoCal. 

Terrifying initially, driving in the snow wasn’t so bad, Julie came to experience. 

The roads were mainly cleared off and the windshield wipers were able to take care of the dissolving white specks, and it wasn’t all too different from rain. 

It really was just like the movies, the way it fluttered to the ground like that. 

The sight of it made her feel like a kid again. At the first chance she gets, she would throw her head back and try to catch a snowflake in her mouth, stomp on the snow to hear that telltale crunching noise, and definitely make a snow angel. 

Julie was able to find a park via the car’s GPS and decided that would be the best place to stop. 

“Luke,” she gingerly shook him awake after cutting the engine. She only needed him to be up for a few minutes. 

He cracked an eye open, groaning, “Hmm..?” 

“Do you know when the boys’ train will be here?” 

“Uh… 10?” 

“Minutes?!” 

“No…” he smacked his lips together, almost poutlike, “10 PM.” 

“We have plenty of time then! Like 6 hours?” 

Her rapid change in volume made Luke wince and dig his face deeper into the headrest. 

“Oh. Sorry. If that’s the case, you can go to the backseat and actually sleep.” 

She cleared out the plastic bags (assuming Luke had collected them from his various pit stops), summoning them onto her lap so Luke could crawl to the back and lay down. He was out like a light only minutes later.

Julie tipped her seat back, contemplating on how to spend their incredibly large amount of free time they had. 

Her first thought was to find someplace to eat, but Luke had already thought ahead and bought snacks from previous pit stops. (Good thing too because she was beyond underdressed for this weather). 

Chips and candies were waiting in the plastic bags for her, and all Julie could think about was how Brad would be absolutely livid if he found out that they were eating in his car. 

Actually, Brad would be more livid because they stole his car. 

But Julie couldn’t bring herself to care. 

Not when he had thought it was a good idea to not only leave her hanging, so close to Christmas, but to cheat on her while he was in college like a freakin’ cliche. 

Not when she needed to get her little brother back.

The pain of rejection and deception lingered, of course, but it had dulled out somewhat- the fury she harbored simmered down too. But, Julie honestly had bigger fish to fry so, for once, Brad did not need to be on her mind all the time. 

Now _that_ was something Julie from a day and a half ago wouldn’t have thought. 

Julie from a day and a half ago wouldn’t have believed half of the things that had transpired on this trip. 

She definitely wouldn’t have believed that Luke Patterson, of all people, would be riding shotgun in the longest road trip/ rescue mission of her life. 

Crunching on a Fritos Barbeque Twist, Julie openly stared at the boy during his well deserved slumber. 

People really do project a sense of peace when they would sleep, she noticed. Luke’s manic buzz from earlier melted from his features. 

Her eyes traced his face, starting from the ends of his dark brown hair which stuck out in every odd angle imaginable, following the slope of his nose, before resting on his lips, fixed in what appeared to be a mild smile, but Julie knew better. His natural expression made it seem like he was smiling. 

It was those damned corners of his lips, the little dips that often project the illusion of dimples. Always quirking upwards. 

Julie wondered if this time he was actually smiling. 

Was he… happy? Despite all that they had been through in the past 24 hours? Was he having a good dream?

She hoped it fared better than hers. 

Something mindless and pleasant, rather than bittersweet and puzzling… 

Julie tore gaze away from Luke- silently reprimanding herself for acting like a creep. 

Before resuming her snack, she threw one last look behind her. She saw Luke make a small grunt, scrunching his nose as he did. 

_Adorable_ , her brain went. 

He always looked adorable as he slept too… 

* * *

It was almost 6 o’ clock when Julie received a video call from Alex and Bobby. 

She answered quickly, not wanting to wake the still sleeping Luke. Her greeting died on her lips once she beheld the sight that was Alex and Bobby in her kitchen.

_Baking cookies?_

“Hi Julie!” they waved, their hands coated in white powder. They had been mixing the dry ingredients it seemed. 

Bobby, holding the phone, angled the device expertly, hiding the mess that Julie knew was on their kitchen island. She could tell because Alex set his hand down on the counter and a puff of powder floated into view. 

Her musing about Carlos and Luke’s friends trashing their house was partly coming true. 

“We need to tell you what happened!” Bobby jumped into it and Alex’s cheery disposition was gone in an instant. 

Julie did not like the sound of that, “What is it?” 

The blonde winced, preparing to give out some news.

“Your aunt showed up,” 

Her inquiry about their baking in the kitchen would have to wait. 

_“My aunt?!”_ she whisper-yelled. 

“Why are you whispering?” 

“Luke’s asleep. Now, please explain!”

“Alright, so we were in the living room, playing the Switch when we heard her car pull up,” Bobby explained, “So Alex and I already had this plan-” 

“-I never agreed to any part of the plan by the way-” 

“-that since there’s two of us, one of us could be you and while the other pretends to be Carlos.” 

“How did you pull it off?” 

Julie was extremely curious because if her tia did find out these two boys were masquerading as her sobrinos, they would definitely not be having a blast in the kitchen baking cookies. They would be dead. 

Alex picked up where Bobby left off: 

“So Bobby called dibs on Carlos. He ran the shower on and hid in the bathroom,” He flicked some flour at the other boy’s face, “like the coward that you are-” 

“You’re just mad that you didn’t think of it first!” he stuck his tongue out at him, “Get this, Julie this guy here pretended that you were sick!” 

Alex was sheepish, cracking some eggs into a bowl, “I sort have put on your robe, tied a towel on my head and hid my face in the covers when she walked in.” 

Bobby snorted into laughter and Julie would have too at the imagery of Alex donning her fluffy purple robe and curling up in her floral sheets…

If the thought of her tia walking in on Alex wasn’t already stress-inducing. 

“Not funny, dude! I wanted to throw up, my heart kept… it kept vibrating. Like a hummingbird. You know how fast their little wings go- like that. Just like that,” Poor Alex set the ingredients aside, his voice faint, “I’m gonna sit down.”

She heard shuffling as soon as Alex darted out of frame. 

Julie felt bad to have put him in that situation. Yet, as scary as it was to be facing her tia, Alex had the hardest job and actually somehow fooled her into thinking he was Julie. 

She owed him and the boys her life. 

Bobby sensed Julie’s guilt and tried to assure her, “He just gets like this sometimes. He’ll be alright. I know it.” 

“Yeah. I hope so,” 

“Alex didn’t speak at all by the way, which really sold the performance. But then again, I think it made you still pretty peeved about Carlos busting you instead of it looking like you’re too sick to talk. Either way- Alex made a great Julie.” He gave her a thumbs up. 

“And she left?” 

“Yup. She couldn’t stay long. Promised to send for soup and other food though. Which we got...” Bobby then smirked at something off screen, “... _and more_.” 

Weak, embarrassed laughter came from the opposite direction, where Alex probably was on the couch. 

“Um. Ok? But I have to ask…” She shut her eyes, anticipating some weird answer, “Why are you baking cookies?”

“Your aunt mentioned it, while she was rubbing Alex’s back and calling him _mija_ , that you and Carlos were supposed to bake cookies. So, figured why not keep up the ruse? Come see!” 

He flipped the camera around to show her the kitchen island that already had a few trays of hot and ready holiday cookies, decently decorated with different colored frostings. 

As much as she appreciated this little part of the scheme, Julie felt a pang in her heart beholding all these cookies in the kitchen. 

Her thoughts went to Carlos. 

One of the last conversations they had was fighting over the cookies. 

It shouldn’t be Bobby and Alex baking them at the Molina residence, it was supposed to be her and Carlos. 

At home. Safe and sound. 

“That’s not bad,” Julie praised, hiding the yearning in her voice with a clearing of the throat,“You guys really thought of everything.” 

“Thanks!” Bobby turned it to front-facing and spun around to show off the background, Alex who was seated at the dining table, waved at the camera, and as he finished his 360, Julie had to do a double take at the sight of something standing in the kitchen behind Bobby. 

“Wait! Back up,” She squinted at the background, where a guy, who Julie had never seen before, was wearing an apron and pulling something a fresh batch of cookies out of the oven. 

“ _Who’s that?_ ” 

“Oh yeah,” Bobby clapped this new boy on the shoulder, “This is Willie!” 

The long haired boy grinned at the camera and nodded, “Sup,” 

“Uh… hi?” Was he a friend of the boys or something? 

“You must be Julie!” 

“That I am. Yes,” 

“I, uh, brought the soup?” 

“Okay…?” 

Alex popped back into frame standing cautiously next to Willie, cheeks reddening, scratching the back of his neck, ”He’s, uh, sort of, the PostMates guy...” 

_What the-?_

Julie scowled at Bobby, “You invited a stranger _into my house?_ ” 

“You already invited two strangers into your house. What’s one more?” 

“I mean, I sorta know you and Alex! But I’ve never met this guy before in my life!” 

“I’m harmless! I swear,” The stranger interjected, “I actually kept these two from accidentally burning the last batch. I also was able to fix that one finicky stove top too,” he pointed to the stove top that Julie and her family had never got to work properly in years. 

Alex demonstrated, and sure enough it lit. 

Julie stared at him, unsure what to make of him or of this whole situation. 

“Well, thank you.. Willie.” she said, awkwardly. 

“No problem,” he clicked his tongue and shot finger guns at her. It was hard to tell; he was still wearing her dad’s oven mitts. 

Bobby smiled sheepishly into the phone, “I need to explain again, don’t I?” 

“That would be helpful!” 

Bobby eyed the other two in a way Julie couldn’t decipher before escaping into the living room:

He cupped his mouth, lowering his voice so only Julie could hear: 

“Yo, so like, you should have seen it. Alex opened the door to that freakin’ Adonis in a PostMates shirt! And boy was he, like, flustered and everything!” he rattled off, giddily. 

Bobby continued: “They talked, and it was cute as hell. And I was like, ‘dude, you should have totally asked for his number’. And he was like ‘no, it’s weird. He’s working’. So he chickened out. But _then_ , Willie comes back later, off-duty, to bring us, get this… ” he paused for dramatic effect, “ _napkins!_ ”

“He came back for napkins?”

“He claims that he forgot them with our food, which I can tell you, he did not,” 

Julie’s mouth made an ‘O’ formation. 

“Ohhh. he’s into Alex too, isn’t he?” she surmised. 

“I know right! And so, I invited him in to bake cookies with us, Alex wanted to kill me for that by the way. But he’ll thank me later because look at them...” Bobby tip-toed around the stair until he was at the kitchen entrance, “They’re so freakin’ cute.”

He switched to the back camera and Julie could see the boys fanning over the hot tray of cookies in a futile attempt to cool them down before decorating. Then Willie had to walk behind Alex to grab a bowl of batter, his hand gripping his shoulder then his back while he did. 

The drummer smiled a little at the contact, still trying to hide his blush. He said something to Willie, who laughed boisterously and then playfully nudged him. 

Dammit. 

They were cute. 

“I’ll allow it,” Julie had been won over, “Because he kept you guys from burning down the place,” 

“We’ll clean it up. Don’t worry- wait.” Bobby leaned forward, “Where are you right now?” 

Julie didn’t realize it but she had moved her phone during their conversation, inadvertently revealing Luke snoozing in the backseat. 

A backseat that wasn’t supposed to exist. 

In the van that they were supposed to drive. 

Bobby’s van

_Shit._

“... Seattle?” 

“Julie…” 

“In a Tesla?” she tried again. 

“I can see that. What happened to the van?” 

Julie bore her teeth timidly, “I guess _I_ have to do some explaining now…” 

She ran through the whole Carlos and Reggie outsmarting them in San Jose and tricking them to go on a train, interrupting with rushed apologies and promises to pay for towing, but Bobby wasn’t even fazed. 

“Don’t worry about it. I’m not mad, Julie,” 

Julie quirked a brow. 

“Really! Though I’m surprised _Luke_ isn’t beat up about it. How has he been? Unless you’ve already killed him and he’s not actually sleeping in your backseat,” 

“No. He's been… good. We’ve actually been able to get along. _Sometimes_. He’s been able to get us out of messy situations actually. So, he’s proven himself useful, I guess,” 

“You’re cool now?” There was a lilt to his voice, possibly due to disbelief. 

Julie nodded, “Yeah. We are.” 

“Look. Don’t worry about the van. I can call up Uncle Trevor and he’ll have someone in the area deliver it to us. Perks of having famous family I guess. Though I don’t really use it as often as a _certain someone_ we know.” 

“Perks like that helicopter?” 

“With my uncle’s freakin’ face on it? Like who does that?” 

“Thank you! I always thought it was a bit egotistical!”

“That’s the Wilson clan for you. Well… that half actually,” 

It was so surreal to talk to someone about Carrie like this. Usually people who knew Carrie well enough didn’t say much to tease her about her ostentatious lifestyle. But who better to crack jokes about it with than her cousin. At least Bobby knew how ridiculous it all was and didn’t care if he ticked off Carrie by saying these things. 

“It must be nice though. To have. Then maybe me and Luke wouldn’t have to do a day’s worth of driving. It probably took her like half an hour to get to Tahoe via helicopter,” 

Bobby tilted his head, “Tahoe?” 

“Yeah. For a ski trip? Shouldn’t you know that? Since you’re family and all,” 

“We’re not that close. I just can’t picture her skiing though,” he pondered about it, “She probably would stay in the lodge the whole time, especially if there’s a spa...” 

Rustling occurred from behind her: Luke was now awake. 

He rubbed his face, patting his cheeks, then swept some hair from his line of sight. He arched forward, putting his forearms against Julie's headrest. He smiled, perking up once her attention was diverted to him. 

“Hey there,” 

She returned his smile, “Mornin’.” 

“Mornin’, Jules,” 

_“Ahem,”_

Her gaze shifted back to the phone where Bobby was staring at the two of them curiously. Luke didn’t seem to notice. 

He gasped in fake surprise, “Wow! Is that Jack White from _The White Stripes_?” 

(Good to know that Julie wasn’t alone in that comparison)

“No way! Is that Zac Efron from _High School Musical_?” Bobby snarked back. 

“Ha ha. How ya been? What’s up, buddy?” 

The rhythm guitarist expression changed, and the smirk he wore earlier when regarding Alex and Willie returned. 

“Oh nothing. Nothing much. Actually, I have to go now. We’ll talk to you later,” 

“Oh ok. See ya, Bobs”

The jet-black haired boy winked into the camera. Then the call cut out. 

“Weird,” he remarked, finally picking up on the vibes from Bobby. 

“I guess,” 

He shrugged and left it at that. Extending his hand out for chips, Luke stuffed some in his mouth. 

Crumbs sprinkled all over himself, he asked, “Still got time?” 

“Plenty,”

“Perfect,” he clapped, wiping off the dust. And he turned to face her, “So you wanna get out of these clothes or what?” 

Julie choked, _“Excuse me?”_

The boy sported a wolfish grin at her reaction. He pinched the neckline of his dirty _Ramones_ shirt with dried egg yolk stuck to it (Thanks, Flynn).

“We’re not exactly dressed for the snow, are we? I was suggesting we should get some warmer clothes for the time being,” 

“Right. Good- good idea.” she recovered but wished she could crawl under a rock and die given how Luke’s eyes were trained on her, taking amusement. 

“Get your mind out of the gutter, Julie. Geez. What would Jesus say?” 

Her hands dug into the bag of chips. She gathered a few and chucked it at Luke’s smug face, “Shut up.”

* * *

Braving the freezing cold, they had ducked into the nearest thrift store, attracting strange looks from the people inside. 

They must have been quite the pair, with Luke sporting his egged shirt (accompanied by the offputting odor) and Julie in her borrowed dinosaur slippers (now wet from stepping in snow), both radiating a ‘been-to-hell-and-back’ energy. 

Despite being the only one out of the two of them to wear a jacket, Luke was still a SoCal boy and, like Julie, didn’t have a lot of chances to visit places with snow. He had immersed himself in the winter wear almost immediately. 

Julie didn’t follow, instead she had gone straight for the pants, having grown sick of rubbing her stocking-clad legs every now and then to keep warm. 

They had made their selections and were now trying their new clothes on. 

“I am not surprised,” Luke’s voice carried over from the fitting room next to her. 

She had just finished regaling the tale of Bobby playing wingman to Alex, and Luke was on board with it, already expressing interest in meeting Willie. 

“Really?” She wiggled into the third pair of pants- 

Nope. Not going to work either. Too tight. It couldn’t move past her thighs. 

She heard a thud on the barrier separating hers and Luke’s stations. 

“Bobby’s always scheming. Especially when it comes to matchmaking,” His arms were up over the partition, struggling to fit into a thermal, “He’s a hopeless romantic.” Not long after, the thermal was thrown in the air- Luke having had given up. 

“That explains his CD being mostly love ballads,” she recalled the tracklist for ‘Bobby’s Bops’. 

“The guy sure loves Michael Bolton,” 

“And Reggie- Dolly Parton? Carrie Underwood?” 

“He moved from rural- _woah_ \- Montana,” she guessed that Luke had almost tripped, trying on his new pants mid-sentence. She giggled at the thought. 

“First time I met him, he had been moping because he couldn’t bring his horse with him.” 

“You met him in music class? Alex and Bobby too?” 

“Met Alex first in P.E. But yeah, pretty much,” 

Julie threw on the last part of jeans, which were (shudders), mom jeans. They were a size too big on her, but she had prepared and brought in a belt before heading to the changing rooms. 

“They seem like a great group of guys. I’m glad you found them,” she said, adjusting the belt. 

“Me too,” Pause, “But…?” 

She zipped up her new boots, “Hmm?” 

“This is the part where you tell me what’s wrong with them. Only fair since I did it with your friends,” 

Julie was taken aback by the implication. She almost didn’t respond. 

“I mean…” she started, putting on a baggy sweater, “besides Alex being a little too woundly tight, Bobby meddling into other people's business, and Reggie kinda playing into his goofiness when it’s… not appropriate- there’s really nothing wrong with them. They’re...good people,” 

He let out a breath from the other side, “And your friends aren’t?” 

“Didn’t say that. But what you said about them... wasn’t necessarily untrue,” She stuck her hand over the edge, wiggling her index finger, “Except for Nick. He is not boring.” Luke scoffed. 

“Ok. But everything else- that was out of line though. I shouldn’t have said those things,” he sounded ashamed. 

“Curious why you didn’t say anything about Carrie though,” 

“Not much left to say that everyone else hasn’t already said,” Luke’s arms were up again, this time to slip into a puffy winter jacket, “But then again, she helped you get out of a tough spot. So, maybe she’s not all bad.” 

“Yeah… she did. She did all this stuff for me- helped me get a new wardrobe, new hair-” 

_New boyfriend_ , she stopped herself from saying. 

“And I’m like grateful, you know? Like she gave me a better high school experience than most people would get. But it makes it hard to say no to her, to disagree-” 

“Because she got you all of this stuff,” Luke finished, “Got it. But you know, you don’t have to owe her anything. Or anyone for that matter, right?” 

“Yeah… I know,“ 

Luke’s fitting room curtain slid open. 

“You decent?” she teased before peeling back her own curtain and poking her head out to check what Luke ended up picking. 

In their closed off part of the store, where a full length mirror and antique loveseat were set up, Luke examined his new look in the mirror: 

He had exchanged his long plaid coat and hoodie for a black puffy down coat- roughly maintaining the same silhouette. Instead of his torn up jeans, he was wearing sweatpants. A fluorescent orange beanie hid the messy mop that was his hair. 

“Ta-da!” he did a slow twirl reveal for her, flapping his new coat. 

“A _Rush_ shirt?” she spotted peeking underneath the outerwear, “With sleeves?” 

Luke grinned, bringing out shears that he had bought on the way to the dressing rooms, “Not for long.” 

“It’s snowing outside!” 

Too late, he was already shedding the outer layers and running back to his dressing room to make his alterations, “Alex is like 100% of my impulse control!” he crowed. 

Julie blinked rapidly, taking that in, “That explains… like everything that’s ever happened on this trip...” 

He came out later with two scraps of white fabric and a new cutoff. 

“I’m gonna go check out the CD’s,” he informed her, zipping up everything again, holding his dirty clothes. 

Julie acknowledged him with a hum, “Yeah, I’m almost finished in here.” 

“‘Kay. Just meet me out there after.”

Julie slid the curtain back. All she had to do was shrug into this purple parka she found and gather up her old clothes and slippers. 

Once finished, she stepped out into the area to inspect herself in front of the mirror. 

She… looked different. 

Gone was her perfectly manicured and coordinated outfit, replaced with clothes that did nothing to accentuate her figure or to preserve some ‘pretty prep’ aesthetic that Carrie and Kayla advocated.

Any feelings of revulsion she might have had in regards to the lack of style this getup produced were dashed the minute Julie realized- 

She was comfortable. 

She was warm and comfortable. That was what these clothes were for. 

In her aha moment, she tested a smile, tentative and trying at first but ultimately became genuine. 

She absorbed the patch work pants, the metal studded belt, and the loose mustard crew neck she wore under a large, fuzzy hooded- parka. 

It was funky, but it worked in an odd way. The more she looked at it, the more it was starting to grow on her. 

For the final touch, she tied her curly hair into a ponytail using her scrunchie. 

She traipsed into the shopping area, locating Luke in the electronics section. He heard her approach but his back remained facing her. 

“You know what? I prefer the collection the Los Feliz Branch Library offers, but I think I scored some-” At a turn of a heel, he stopped mid-sentence as his eyes landed on her. 

Julie shrunk under his scrutiny, folding her arms. Did she really look that strange?

Luke made no effort to hide his staring, eyeing her up and down in a way that confused her. She couldn’t place what he could possibly be thinking or feeling. 

_“Rad,”_ he said, breathlessly. 

Oh. 

It then registered to Julie that Luke’s gaze on her was… appreciative. And not only did he like what he saw, he was in awe. The kind of awe reserved for shooting stars or waterfalls or other natural beauties. 

Luke bewildered her, in so many ways. Because there was nothing about this outfit that screamed ‘attractive’, but with the way that he was looking at her- it made her feel like someone worth paying attention to, even in these unassuming clothes. 

He blinked, snapping out of his daze, “Rad, uh, albums,” He stammered, holding up the CDs in his hand, “That’s… uh, that’s what I was trying to say…” 

Julie didn’t want to make it weird, so she didn’t call him out for the intense stare down. 

“It’s 2020, Luke. No one says stuff like that anymore,” 

“Right right right,” he chuckled, easing back into his regular self. He led the way to the register

“This CD is _lit_?” he tried again, to which Julie groaned. 

“You know what. Nevermind. Go back. You sound like a dad,” 

Luke had a mischievous glint in his eye, “Kids these days with _the_ Youtube and _the_ TikTok-” 

“I want silence from you from here on out,” 

“Well, we all want things that we can’t have,” 

The words somehow snuffed out the lighthearted atmosphere Julie tried to create, adding to whatever tension was building when he saw her in these clothes for the first time. 

Luke tried to shove his hands in his pockets but they were occupied by the clothes and the CDs and the freakin’ _scissors_ , “Uh, ladies first?” he gestured towards the register, and Julie waddled away, needing some space to collect herself. 

She approached the register, showing off the pieces of her ensemble that she would be buying. After paying, she requested a bag to put her other clothes in. The cashier disappeared to the back to find one, and Julie’s eyes wandered around the stuff on the counter. 

There were bowls of trinkets, like earrings and marbles for sale.

Even some mint tins with inappropriate jokes embossed on them were stacked to her right, just waiting to be knocked over by accident.

And there was the obligatory mini spinning display rack, with different key chains looped onto the hooks. 

She spun the display absentmindedly, not necessarily looking for anything in particular. But then something caught her eye. 

One hook on the lower right, almost invisible to the rest of the display, was a wooden key chain, carved in the shape of a flower with the details burned into a beautiful design. 

It was a dahlia. 

Her mom’s favorite flower. 

Her hand reached for it, rubbing the glossy wood between her fingers, feeling the ridges of where the charred lines run. 

There was something about it that was calling out to her. 

Some gut feeling triggered by the sight of this particular flower, unsure if it was a good omen or a bad one. Should she-?

“Here ya go,” The cashier had returned, and Julie moved away from the rack to stuff her clothes into the offered plastic bag. 

“Thanks,” she muttered. 

“Will that be all for you today?” 

Her eyes darted to the key chains. 

“No,” Julie ended up deciding, “I’m good.” 

She grabbed her belongings and was aiming for the door. She was courteous enough to wave over at Luke and mimed to him that she would be waiting for him outside.

Out the door, she exhaled visibly into the night air, tapping her foot impatiently for Luke to come out already so they could get going. She didn’t want to stand outside the store for too long, in case she decided to run back on her decision and return to the store to buy that dahlia key chain just cuz. 

There was no need for a keychain anyway, Julie didn’t know why she was getting all worked up about it. Just because it reminded her of her mom, didn’t mean she should get it. 

Her inner turmoil was interrupted by the sound of the overhead bell dinging, alerting her of Luke’s departure from the store. 

“You good?” he asked. 

She nodded, hoping she was convincing. 

“Let’s get back to the car and drop these off then,” 

They walked this time, back to the car, no longer running to escape the cold. They were encased in fluff and puff this time, so they got to enjoy the snow. 

The more distance they put between them and the store, the regret kept building and building inside Julie. 

Dammit, she thought. 

She should have bought it. 


	11. Seattle Part II

Chapter 11 ‘Seattle Part II’

“Alright. I don’t wanna be holed up in here waiting for them. How about you?” 

They had just stashed their bags in the Tesla but instead of going inside, they locked it up and leaned against the exterior. 

Julie made a noise of agreement, “We have time to do some exploring. Though, I don’t think I can handle anything big right now,” 

“So no Space Needle?”

“Nope,”

“ _Thank god_ ,” Luke let out a sigh of relief, “No. No more heights for me thank you very much,” 

“I’m too tired to even go check out that troll. Under that bridge or something?” 

“I saw that. From _10 Things I Hate About You_?” 

Julie, on any other occasion, would have liked to tour around the city, visiting the places depicted in one of her favorite movies.

(just something about the romantic gesture via dance and song that got her all in her feelings... oh and Heath Ledger, of course). 

She preferred to stick to the streets within the general vicinity of the car. Having yet to acclimate to the winter weather, she wouldn’t want to travel too far by foot.

Also, they managed to have scored a good parking spot, and good parking was never guaranteed in any metropolitan area. Best to leave it where it was until it was time to go to the train station and finally get Carlos and Reggie. 

That was how they ended up strolling down the street, hands stuffed in their pockets because they had been too stupid to buy gloves. 

Every now and then they came upon a storefront and would walk inside to browse. They never really seemed to buy anything.

Apparently, Luke had already done all of his Christmas shopping and so did Julie. She exclusively only dealt with early online shopping to avoid the frenzy that was Los Angeles during the holidays. 

She assumed it would be the same here in Seattle, with only a couple days before Christmas. The conditions were prime for hectic last minute shopping.

But they had stumbled into a hidden gem of the city, far from the crowds and filled with charming shops and blinking red and green lights overhead. 

Like a Santa’s Village kind of vibe. 

She and Luke were falling back into an easier dialogue, their perplexing exchange in the thrift store now far behind them. 

Julie had been right to tell Bobby that they were cool again. If someone were to pass her and Luke on the street they would assume they were a couple of friends on a casual outing. 

Before, she had thwarted any attempt for the two of them to get too close, fearing that one of them would end up doing something and ruin this tentative truce they formed for their rescue mission. 

Like making the mistake of thinking there was more to this than mere toleration. 

Yet, Julie was laughing more freely to Luke’s jokes and vice versa. They swapped stories about their friends (they discovered that Kayla and Reggie possessed similar endearing goofball energies). 

And the _10 Things I Hate About You_ reference had sparked an animated discussion about movies they had seen, recommending to each other ones they came to love recently. 

When she made Luke promise to watch _Knives Out_ , he had been actually genuine in wanting to keep that promise (just as long as she watched _Bohemian Rhapsody_ ). 

They were talking like friends. 

Were they friends now?

She didn’t want to ask in case that broke the spell. 

It had been… a pleasant experience, not fighting with him, not preparing for psychological warfare and the emotionally charged snipes. 

She wondered how long it would last. Would it all go away once they found Carlos and Reggie and there was no reason for them to hang out anymore?

Julie sorta hoped that wouldn’t be the case. 

She wouldn’t oppose seeing Luke occasionally and maybe continue this re- acquaintanceship or whatever this was. 

She must have been perceived as getting lost in her own head because Luke nudged her and threw in another “You good?” 

“Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?” 

“Just making sure,” The smile she received in response sent a warm feeling in her stomach. 

Hmm... maybe Luke wouldn’t oppose either...

They did some more adventuring through the icy sidewalk, losing any more intentions of visiting more shops while they spoke with each other. 

That stopped when Luke swung his arm out, keeping Julie from moving any further. She nearly slipped on the patch of ice she was trying to step over. 

“No way!” 

Julie followed Luke’s line of sight to the building they were stopped in front of- a tall brick structure that had definitely seen some better days.

The thumps and bumps of live music rose up from a stairwell that led to a basement level- the entrance Julie assumed. 

There was no signage, only a collage of posters for local bands pasted onto the brick facade, taking up half the building, and a neon arrow sign pointing down the stairwell. 

“Do you know what place this is?” Clearly she didn’t, given how lost she appeared, glancing around at people coming off the street and approaching the building with the same enthusiasm Luke held in his voice. 

All of the sudden, his hand was in hers and she was being dragged down the stairs and into the venue. 

It was a cafe, much bigger than how it appeared from the outside. The whole environment felt like a bar or a speakeasy given how it seemed like a certain crowd was privy to this place. 

The ambience felt intimate, low lighting provided by lanterns wired to the beamed ceiling and the customary red and green string lights lining the walls.

Though all attention was set on an area in the center, the brightest focal point- a stage. 

Yet, it was a cafe stage unlike Julie had ever seen. 

Raised on a platform, it had professional looking stage lights and mini scaffolding to support it, an already set up drum set, a couple of mic stands, and there was a line of people near the stage, holding their own instruments and nervously chattering amongst themselves. 

Julie’s left side surged in that direction as Luke continued to use her arm in a game of tug o’war, this time navigating them into an empty booth. 

Plopping onto the seat, she finally got her bearings. 

“Luke! Wanna tell me what this is?” 

A waiter came by, and Luke barely glanced at the menu before ordering some pastries and cocoa for the both of them. At least, Julie could now infer the food wasn’t the highlight of their visit. 

“ _Eats and Beats!_ ” he finally said, once the waiter was off, “I read about this place. This is like _the_ center for the underground Seattle music scene,” 

“A cafe?” 

“Yeah! This place is famous for these once a month open-mics and as you can see, they go all out. A lot of amazing bands got their start here!” Luke raved, waving his hands vigorously, “People like _The Whisper Cats, That One Dark Room, Midnight Madness, Big Wonzie, Sunset Curve_ -” 

Her ears perked up, “Wait-?” 

“- just making sure you were paying attention, but like can you _imagine?_ ” His eyes eagerly roamed around the space, taking it in, a wistful expression now taking hold, “Just wish the boys were here for this…” 

The waiter returned with their drinks. They thanked him and Julie tipped her cup in Luke’s direction.

“Maybe wish for a guitar first,” she pointed out, sipping her hot cocoa carefully.

(Oooh. Yum. That really hit the spot). 

It seemed that it now dawned on Luke that his emergency guitar was sitting inside a van at a San Jose Amtrak station, and that it wouldn’t magically appear in his hands the second he needed it. 

“Do you think if I ask the other acts, would they let me borrow one for open mic?” 

“If they’re like you, I wouldn’t hold my breath,” 

“Yeah,” Luke mulled it over, unzipping his outerwear, “I wouldn’t lend my guitar to just anybody. But it wouldn’t hurt to ask,” 

Then he was off, fearlessly into the sign up line. 

Julie could never understand how Luke could just do that. Just jump into situations half-cocked but compensated for in spunk. He always acted like everything was going to work out in the end (“Have faith, Julie”). 

She could never do that. Especially with music. 

It was like she and Luke were the two sides of the same coin when it came to her mom’s famed advice: 

Practice makes perfect. 

But perfect is overrated. 

It had been super frustrating for Luke to waltz in with half the prep work Julie normally would do before a performance and would just… nail it. The guy did practice and spent all his time writing- but he was always ready to go on stage whenever. 

Julie spied on him from their table, taking slow sips of her hot chocolate. Luke saddled up to a girl in line who had a guitar slung on her shoulder.

She couldn’t make out what they were saying but he was for sure implementing his expressive hand gestures. The girl nodded eagerly, seemed to be hanging onto every word he said. 

Now they were laughing. 

Julie scowled subconsciously. 

Never before had she been so interested in a conversation she couldn’t listen in on. 

Luke sure knew how to turn on the charm when the situation demanded, she thought to herself. Why was it that she was doing her best to not let the image of Luke smiling at another girl get under her skin? 

Why did it physically unnerve her to watch this play out in front of her?

Luke fixed his hands in a prayer formation in show of gratitude to the girl. Ok, so she had definitely said yes. Then he proceeded to stand in line with the girl for a couple minutes, conversing until they had both reached the front to sign up. 

By the time he skipped back to their table their food had already arrived and the first act started playing their set. 

“Ok. After that girl goes up, she says I can use it,” 

Julie poked at her scone, disinterestedly, “Did you flex your biceps at her?” 

As if she hadn’t been watching him like a hawk just now. 

He rolled his eyes, “Nah. I just convinced her that I wasn’t gonna steal it. Had to prove to her to that I’m a musician and not just some weirdo,” 

“How did you do that? Without your guitar?” And his phone too. He had given it to her earlier for safe keeping. 

“I just told her how much music meant to me,”

Her eyes narrowed at him, “And it only took 5 minutes?” 

“I said that music is, really, the gateway to feeling everything and anything. How it’s got enough magic-” 

“Christmas magic?” she teased. 

“-it’s got enough magic, _especially_ around Christmas time, to move people and bring them together,” he pointed to the punk rock band on stage, performing a rendition of Jingle Bells. 

“Like how many times have you walked down the street, carolers singing everywhere, collections of strangers on the sidewalk passing through- they would end up humming or singing along. Everytime. I bet everyone here knows all the words to this song.” 

Luke made her look into the audience. Sure enough, whether they vibed with the wailing of the electric and the heavy beats of the drums, everyone in the booths or sitting at tables in front of the stage were mouthing along to the words. 

“Julie, you know the feeling when you’re at a concert and everyone knows the words? The energy just crackling through and all of the sudden you’re not just one person, you’re part of something much bigger. Don’t tell me you don’t feel that here!” 

The energy _was_ palpable. Everyone in here was feeling it, Julie included. She was this close to headbanging along with Luke and the other audience members, but she remained so self-conscious. 

Weird that she knew no one but Luke here, but she was still not so keen on expressing herself that way. There was something so intimate in letting the music move one’s body in front of someone like Luke.

Someone who could pinpoint what it is about the lyrics and the melody that could garner such a visceral and would try to replicate in his own craft. 

She wouldn’t want him to know how to make her body respond. 

“Look, how they do it,” Luke continued his spiel, referencing the next act that comes up: this time a jazz group with a bluesy bass-prominent version of ‘Snowmen’. 

The groovin’ croonin of the lead singer, the swinging tempo, and of course that bass- 

Julie’s foot was tapping- the power of the music growing more infectious as the night went on. 

“Just connecting people through these songs! Yeah only covers, but that wave of nostalgia just- it just hits and lands and it’s incredible! And when the opportunity falls on your lap to do that for people? Like what are the chances that we are here, in Seattle- this part of Seattle- at Eats and Beats, on an open mic night- looking like a picture perfect Christmas outside? No-” he faltered, almost of breath. 

He needed to steady himself, “It’s just… no musician could ever pass this up, you know?”

Julie stared at Luke, who had looked like he just ran a marathon with the way he was heaving and sweating. 

She forgot just how _passionate_ Luke was. She had written it off as obsession before, but that was because she hadn’t been the subject of Luke Patterson music rant or pep talk in years. His stormy eyes ablaze with this fire- this need. 

One could be intimidated by such tenacity. Julie may have been at one point, back when the loss of her mom was still fresh. How Luke kept a tight hold on music, despite everything that happened. Rose Molina hadn’t just been a mother, but a teacher. 

She had been Luke’s teacher. 

And he kept playing...

Julie wondered if much of the anger towards Luke that year was due to envy. 

Because Luke possessed some strength to carry on while she couldn't. 

She wondered if she could do it now... if she tried...

* * *

Some more acts came and went and it was now guitar girl’s turn to go. 

The girl exuded this Norah Jones singer-songwriter swag-

Julie’s musical weakness. 

_Alright she had skills_ , she acknowledged, now regretting ever side-eying the girl while she had spoken to Luke. 

The start of guitar girl’s set meant Luke was due to perform soon. 

Julie swept their empty plates to the side as Luke mimed the fingerings of whatever he was going to play. 

“What’s your game plan?” she probed, humoring herself. 

“Gonna hit them with an oldie. Gauge the next song from there,” 

Oh yeah. That Jedi mind trick he had perfected back at the wedding, predicting what the audience wanted next. Always making solid song decisions on the fly- it was a gift. 

“You make it sound simple! You make it look so simple. You played an hour long set yesterday, with no practice and little breaks. Honestly, thought you were gonna look out and realize we were essentially on a cliff and pass out,” 

Luke shimmied his shoulders, grimacing, “Heights. But being up there so high, wind in my face, playing for strangers and feeling the pressure of ‘if I mess this up, we’re in deep shit’?” The shaggy haired boy slanted forward, his fingers dangerously close to Julie’s on the table, “I never felt more alive. I felt alive, Julie!” 

She focused on the mite-sized space between their fingers. 

“What would you do?” the words came out quiet, “If you didn’t have music?” 

“Crawl in a hole and die probably,” 

“You’re being dramatic,” 

“No, but- seriously. It’s my life. You know that. I need music. I need it to live, to-” 

“Breathe?” she uttered softly, sunlight and dahlias dancing in her mind. 

Luke nodded resolutely, “Yeah. I’ve got nothing else. Besides the boys,” 

“...and your parents?” 

At the mention of his family, his shoulders hiked up and his lips folded into a tight line. Gone was relaxed pre-show Luke. 

“Forget them, alright?” 

“But they’re still your family-” 

“Who never actually supported me! Not like the guys. Not like-” He shut his eyes, collecting himself before his voice rose like his temper. 

“Look,” he inhaled sharply, “As far as I know, anyone who keeps me from music is someone I wouldn’t want in my life, okay?” 

Oh. 

Okay.

That hurt.

Her skin was cold all over. 

The space between their hands seemed bigger now. 

Julie retracted her hands, then she rose robotically from the table. 

Luke’s words caught up with him, his eyes grew wide, “Shit, Julie-” 

“I’m gonna go. To the bathroom,” 

The applause and standing ovation for guitar girl allowed for her to walk away un-pursued. Luke banged his fists on the table in frustration.

His attempts to follow her were interrupted by the guitar girl approaching him and passing him the instrument. 

Julie couldn’t go to the bathroom and hide, not when Luke’s name was being called and he was summoned to the stage, but she couldn’t get over that metaphorical punch in the chest. 

She had kept Luke from music. 

Yeah, he had been the only one out of the two of them that continued playing. And had been the one to form a band. 

But Luke kept a position open for her. For a year. 

For a year, he had coordinated the band to incorporate her vocals and keyboard. 

For a year, Sunset Curve operated with a missing piece. 

And it had plunged Luke into a creative rut. So he got desperate, capitalized every and any opportunity to get her to sing again. 

And look where it had gotten him. He needed to drop Julie so the band could succeed. 

And what sucked was, Julie could not fault him for that. She really couldn’t. It worked, they had a good sound, they were getting attention in the local music scene. 

Hearing him say it, hurt so much. Right when she was warming up to the idea of being in his life again. 

It could be the reason why she forced herself to stay and watch. To, for once, support him in his dream and not get in his way again. 

Julie occupied an empty barstool while Luke stepped onto the stage. He introduced himself and announced that he was going to play an original. 

Perched on a stool, Luke started to play. 

But something was wrong. 

His whole posture was off. He was as stiff as he was when they were at the frat party, his fingers stuttered and slipped on the strings, plucking sour notes. 

Julie was able to extract ‘Finally Free’ from the rough performance and boggled her mind how he could mess up a song they wrote _that_ badly. 

Was it his hand? Still bruised from punching Brad? He had done that in her honor, and Julie found it to be one big, cosmic joke that she got in the way of his music _again_. The one thing that was important to him. 

But no. 

He looked out, helplessly into the crowd and he found her. The second they locked eyes, she knew. 

He was upset. 

Luke was too wracked with guilt to get through a song. He hadn’t even opened his mouth to sing yet, having already missed his cues to start. 

Because of her? How he had inadvertently brought up their past issues?

Then, Julie remembered what they were talking about: 

His parents. 

_Crap._

This really was one her.

Guitar girl sidled up next to her, grimacing, “He’s dying up there.” 

She was probably regretting giving him her guitar. 

Oh god, this was getting so difficult to watch Luke choke through the performance with little to no response from the crowd. 

He had forgotten the words, stumbling through the lyrics they had spent weeks working on. She mouthed them at him, to jog his memory. But she must be too far away for him to lip read. 

Without thinking, Julie jumped out of her seat and neared the stage. 

She whispered the words at him but it still didn’t take. 

_What can I do? How can I help him?_

What was it gonna take for Luke to get it together? 

Julie scanned the room full of musicians and audience members for a solution- 

Wait. That was it. 

She was standing in a room full of musicians. 

Julie located the table in which the punk band sat. She weaved through the crowd and approached them. 

“Hey, you,” she picked out the drummer, “Come here. Help my friend.”

Her steely tone paired with her mean face must have been intimidating because the grizzly man spurred into action and followed her wordlessly. 

On the way to the stage, she encountered the jazz group at their table. Her hand tapped the shoulder of the bassist, “You too. Up, up, up.” 

The drummer must have known the bassist because they shared a silent conversation before the woman picked up her bass and joined them. 

Now equipped with a backing band, Julie led them onto the stage, jarring Luke into silence. 

The cafe murmured in confusion. 

Shakily, Julie leaned over to Luke’s mic and addressed the crowd, “Sorry. Just give us a moment.” 

“Julie, what are you doing?” 

She directed the other two musicians to their places, 

“Just go with it,” was all she could tell him. 

Once the drummer was in position, Julie fed him instructions. 

“'Another Brick in the Wall'. Do you know that?” The man appeared affronted by the question, “Sorry. Of course you do. Can you play that beat? On my friend’s mark?” 

She turned to the bassist, “And you- Luke’s gonna play the chords the first. It’s the key of A. Not sure what that means for you, but you’ll know when he’ll call you in.” 

Julie knelt in front of Luke now, “They’re ready when you are,” 

“Jules-” he tried strumming- the notes fell flat. Damn. And the lyrics… were just not coming out. 

She took in the crowd.

They were getting antsy, wondering what was going to happen. They expected music not this ridiculous display. Her makeshift band probably wished they hadn’t gotten dragged into this trainwreck...

There was a mic stand right in front of her. 

Plugged in. 

Ready to go. 

She sprung up from the ground. Her heart beating fast. 

And with the strength she should have had when reaching for that dahlia key chain, Julie’s hand shot out and grabbed the mic. 

Was she really going to do this? 

_You can do it, Julie_. 

Her mom’s voice floated in her mind. She swore she could actually hear her. As if she was actually- 

Here. 

She was here, like what she had said in her dream. Not _here_ here. But she didn't have to be. 

What else did she say in her dream? 

_Please. Breathe, Julie_. 

And so she did. 

Inhale. 

Exhale. 

” _H-Hearts on fire…_ ” she sang, “ _We're no liars….So we say what we wanna say...”_

Julie paused, clearing her throat, wincing at how rusty she sounded. 

She could see Luke out of the corner of her eye, stunned. 

It was the first time he had her sing in 4 years. 

It was her first time hearing herself too. 

She almost forgot what she sounded like. 

Her grip on the mic tightened and continued, “ _I'm awakened...No more faking...So we push all our fears away…”_

The audience was captivated by the raw acapella and Julie almost stopped altogether at the weight of all these people’s eyes on her. 

She was so freakin’ terrified. 

But not for long. 

Soft strumming on the guitar could be heard from her left, sounding as perfect as it should. And she eased into it... 

_“Don't know if I'll make it 'cause I'm falling under...Close my eyes, and feel my chest beating like thunder,”_

She braced for the next part, her voice rising, _“I...wanna fly”_

_You could do better than that, mija,_ she could hear her mom say. 

_“Come alive,”_

_Keep it going, Julie!,_ she would have said. 

_“Watch me shiiiine!”_

It had crescendoed, her arms were splayed out and she was smiling when the band came to life. 

_I got a spark in me_

_Hands up if you can see_

_And you're a part of me_

_Hands up if you're with me_

The power of the drums rumbled underneath her feet and she stomped at the sensation. The bassist, with her jazz background, had been able to pick it up, taking cues from Luke. 

_Now 'til eternity_

_Hands up if you believe_

_Been so long, and now we're finally free_

The crowd began to congregate in front of the stage, patrons leaving their booths and tables to get a closer look at the magic they were making. 

Julie sang the next verse, swaying to the beat. She caught a glimpse of a tambourine, hanging off the mic stand to her right and she commandeered it. She started banging it against her thigh. 

Luke, reinvigorated by this second wind, was on his feet, kicking the stool back and rocking out on his stand. 

She shifted her head to look at him. They nodded at each other. They knew what was coming. 

_“We know we can make it, we're not falling under…”_ they harmonized together, earning cheers from the crowd, _“Close my eyes and feel my chest beating like thunder-”_

Then the prechorus hit, and Julie grew more confident, her voice catching up to her and she reached that high note flawlessly. 

She moved about the stage now, interacting with the bassist, grooving with her. Julie spun around before jumping onto the drum platform. The drummer smiled at her, and then she was off to the front again. 

Oh god. She felt it. 

This was what Luke was talking about. 

She was hyperaware of everything her body was doing, the blood pumping in her veins, her chest rising and falling in labored breaths, her muscles rippling with every wave of her hand and kick of her foot. 

She was a living, _breathing_ , dancing machine. 

She was _alive._

The thought of Luke triggered an idea. 

Her mic was back in its stand and she dragged it back until she was by Luke. 

_“I got a spark in me”_ She tipped the mic to him. 

“ _I got a spark in me”_ his eyes danced as he sang back to her. 

Mic on her, _“And you're a part of me...”_

 _“And you're a part of me”_ Now switched to him. 

She was full on grinning, _“Now 'til eternity...”_

 _“Now 'til eternity...”_ he rattled off in his rasp. 

_“Been so long, and now we're finally freeeee!”_

* * *

The song ended. 

And Julie thought that was it. 

She was reeling from what happened. 

She sang. 

She really sang. In front of people. 

She did it. 

Luke scooped her up into a victory hug after setting down the guitar, “You killed it! Oh my god!” 

“ _We_ killed it!” She shot a grateful glance at the bassist and the drummer. 

He set her down, and there was that look again. 

Complete and utter awe. 

The applause had yet to die down and Julie wasn’t sure what to do at this point. She moved to step off the stage but that seemed to have caused an uproar. 

Halting, she referred to Luke, who was beaming at the high-spirited reaction of everyone in the cafe. 

“They want an encore. I mean… if you’re up for it,” he shrugged, but Julie knew he was stoked by the idea. 

You know what? She was riding the post-song high. 

“Hell yeah,” 

Oh god. She felt unstoppable. She felt like she could drive 13 hours straight in a Tesla with minimum breaks. 

She was up for anything. 

Luke slid the guitar strap over his shoulder and neared the mic, “I think we’re gonna do a Christmas one for you guys,” 

“Only fair,” Julie commented into her mic, “But nothing too hokey.” 

“Way ahead of you. I think you’ll remember this one,”

He gripped the mic, opting to start with only his voice: 

“ _I bought no gifts this year...And I slept with your sister...I know I should have thought twice...Before I kissed her..._ ”

Julie threw her head back, pretending to groan, _This song?_

Luke then played up the story, getting into character like how they usually did whenever they would duet together. 

Although this song never made it on the Molina Family Christmas Showcase… for obvious reasons. 

He pouted at her and dropped to his knees, begging for forgiveness in acapella: 

_But with the year we had last_

_And the dress that she wore_

_I just went along for the ride_

_And I came back for more_

_And I'm sorry baby_

She acted unimpressed by the groveling, “What do you think everybody. Should I forgive him?” 

Shouts of various responses intermingled with each other- all rowdy and all in good spirit. 

Julie laughed and she addressed Luke sweetly. “That's all ok honey cause see…” 

Then she exploded into another higher heaven note and then the music kicked in: 

_“I bought no tree this year…”_ she bellowed, “ _And I slept with your brother… I wrecked your Daddy's car… And went down on your Mother!”_

Luke wore a horrified expression while wolf-whistles and whoops rippled through the cafe. 

She continued, jumping around and hyping up the audience with waves of her arms, acting out her anger. 

_I set your record collection on fire_

_And said I never knew_

_Felt kind of bad about that_

_And I know you did too_

Luke was on his feet and they faced each other for their shared part: 

_So whatever you say_

_It's all fine by me_

_Who the hell anyway wants a Christmas tree_

_Cause the snow keeps on fallin'_

Luke booped her on the nose in jest, _“Even though we were bad...”_

 _“It'll cover the filth...”_ she poked him in the chest. Hard. 

_“We should both just be glad,”_

Then the two hopped around, screaming the next part in unison:

_“And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together”_

They roped the audience in on the chorus: 

_And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas together!”_ Everyone shouted. 

The rest of the song went on, and Julie wanted to crack up about how ridiculous it was. The song was about a couple at each other’s throats but putting it aside for the sake of Christmas. 

How ironic. 

That they were performing it when they weren’t at each other’s throats. 

God, she forgot how much fun it was to perform with Luke. Her scene partner, her lower tone to her high- 

Nothing about what they just did was awkward or forced. 

It was as if nothing changed..

There had always been something… extra whenever they would perform. 

Something so intimate and powerful and passionate. 

With the way Luke had been leaning against her, his back on her shoulder, as they shared a mic…. 

With the way his eyes raked over her form, licking his lips, and Julie couldn’t discern whether it was for show or not… 

With the way her hand had grabbed hold of his shirt, beckoning him to get closer to the mic, their noses budging against each other...

With the way she could not stop grinning at him like this had been the happiest she had been in a long time… 

It had been true then and it was true now. Performing together brought it all up to the surface. 

_“And spend-spend-spend this Chris-Christmas togetherrr…”_

The last line rang out, a mix of everyone’s voices screeched it as loud and as obnoxious as possible before erupting in general whoops and cheers. 

She heard all this. 

But Julie couldn’t remember the last time she had spared a look at the audience. 

Her eyes were on Luke’s face.

His were fixed on hers. 

As the last echoes of the guitar reverberated into the night, her grip on his shirt slackened for a fraction of a second. She dropped her gaze to his chest, streaked with sweat under his Rush cutoffs, heaving, the sight tantalizing and had her breathing all heavy. 

He was still staring at her. She could feel it. But if she looked back up at his face, it was over. Nothing would keep her from doing something impulsive- post-performance high and all. She would be done for. 

Yet knowing this, brown still met hazel. 

The boy’s mouth parted. He struggled to speak. 

“Luke-”

“You’re a star, Julie,” he rasped out, sending shivers down her spine. 

She heard him. Above the thunderous applause their encore had ignited. Above the MC’s voice booming in the microphone for the final curtain call. 

Because nothing else mattered now. 

The electricity that had coursed through her flowed between them- and she couldn’t deny it anymore. 

His shirt balled up in her tight fist, she drew him towards her and captured his lips in a searing kiss. 

And the crowd went nuts. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So....
> 
> Julie sang
> 
> She kissed Luke
> 
> Merry belated Christmas gift everybody
> 
> Songs:  
> 'Finally Free' - JATP  
> 'Christmas Duel' The Hives & Cyndi Lauper


	12. Seattle Part III

Chapter 12 ‘Seattle Part III’

Holy shit. 

Holy shit. 

Holy shit. 

That was her inner monologue just as Julie’s mind caught up with her actions, just as she was processing the feeling of Luke’s lips against hers, the blazing stage lights beating down on them, the audience’s ardent reaction to their kiss. 

It happened quick. 

Or that was what it felt like for Julie.

Because the moment she realized she was kissing her ex on stage in front of a crowd of strangers, her eyes snapped open and she pushed off of him, sobering up from the post-performance adrenaline just as fast as she acted impulsively on it. 

Oh my god. 

Did she really just do that?

That wasn’t supposed to happen. 

Julie was to help Luke out on stage. Be a good friend and whatnot. 

The singing hadn’t been part of the plan, but _that_ she could live with. Especially after the performance she put out, after being out of commission for 3 years, she was proud of it. And her mom- she would have been proud of her too. 

It took a lot for her to do that. 

But her stupid brain must have confused reconnecting to music with reconnecting (if that’s what you wanna call that impromptu lip lock) with her ex-boyfriend. 

It had all been so familiar, vibing with each other on stage, playing off of each other’s energy- it was intoxicating. 

It had been so easy to get caught up in it. To let oneself blur the lines between song and reality. To pretend it all meant something. 

And she did. 

And she shouldn’t have. 

She could only handle so much in one night. 

Withdrawing from Luke, whose eyes had slowly fluttered open, appearing dazed, Julie couldn’t get off the stage fast enough. 

Unlike before, carving through the crowd unfollowed was not an easy task, as patrons approached her to congratulate her on the performance, some clapping her on the back, wanting to shake her hand.

Julie was cordial, and she responded to all this with a smile and rushed out ‘thank you’s before politely excusing herself. 

No doubt Luke was coming after her, to demand answers, but she had a leg up on him due to him needing to return the guitar and being swarmed by the same group of people.

Her face was hot, thinking about what he would say to her. He would want to know why, and she still didn’t know why. 

Their waiter was at their table when Julie got there. He had the bill and Julie just so much as threw a wad of cash from her pocket at him before hightailing it out of the cafe, her parka under her armpit. 

Escaping into the slippery street, up the stairs, and slipping on her parka, she heard Luke tripping behind. 

“Julie!”

She turned the street corner, heading back for the car, “Uh, we need to go to the station, right? It’s across town and you know, traffic could be crazy-” 

“No, just wait-” 

Expressionless, she folded her arms and kept stomping down the street, nearing the park.

“C’mon, we need to go. I don’t even know how far the freakin’ car is right now-”

“We need to talk-” 

“We’ll talk on the way. Let’s just go-” 

THUMP

Something cold made contact with Julie’s back, shocking her. 

Spinning around, she saw Luke’s bare hand, red and covered in fractals of white. 

_“Did you just throw a snowball at me?”_

“I needed to get your attention!” He advanced, brushing off the excess snow against his long coat, “Now can we please talk?” 

“I don’t want to talk!” 

She turned and continued to ignore him when-

“Look, you can’t just kiss me and walk away!” 

She whirled around so fast that it had Luke stumbling backwards in surprise. 

_“You_ walked away first! _”_ Julie snapped, all the hurt from the past few years exploding out of her with no notice. 

His eyes widened at her outburst. Hers did too. 

_So much for not talking about it._ Julie had just opened their freakin’ can of worms… 

“...or, or did you forget?” she assumed. 

Luke sighed, a close off expression on his face. He bowed his head, “No. I don’t think I could...”

“So then you remember, huh? How much you hurt me when you did!” 

Now that got a rise out of him. 

He scowled at her in disbelief, “You didn’t seem so beat up about it when you got yourself a nice little rebound with Pretty Boy!”

“What was I supposed to do?!”

“Wait! We had one fight and you got with him the next day. You threw me away that fast! And lemme tell you, _that_ hurt!” 

“One fight? _One fight?_ It was a big fight, Luke!” she tried turning around again,“You said we were over!” 

He let out a loud frustrated groan, “God, Julie! Did you think I actually meant it?” 

Her foot stopped mid-stride. 

She slowly turned, “What?” 

“You were the only girl I ever wanted to be with!” he dropped matter-of-factly,

“You know, I spent the whole break trying to find a way to apologize. Imagine my surprise when I came back to school to find you full-on Barbie and getting tongued down by a sophomore in the cafeteria!” 

“You honestly thought I was going to be there waiting for you? You. Said. We. Were. Done!”

“We needed time to cool off, alright! We were always going to get back together!” 

She stared at him, processing what he just said. 

Hold on. 

Wait a freakin’ minute. 

This whole time, _this whole time_ , Luke blamed _her_ for their breakup??

Because she took his words at face value? For believing what he said to be true?

Because before he was her boyfriend he had been her best friend- who never, _never_ , once stooped this low to play mind games with her.

So how couldn’t she not take those words seriously?

But Luke was standing in front of her, acting like it had all been obvious, like she should have known all along, like _she_ was the bad guy for moving on. 

Was he telling her that she was expected to forgive him afterwards? After what he said? Because they were Julie and Luke, Luke and Julie- they were automatically gonna be cool again? 

He had just _assumed??_

“ _ARE. YOU. KIDDING. ME_?” 

A fury unknown before to mankind swelled inside her. She stuffed her hands into the snowbank, didn’t even bother to pack it into a ball before she started hurling snow at Luke in a fit of rage. 

It bounced off his chest, and he gave an indignant, “Hey!” 

She wasn’t done yet. She kept pelting at him in her fury, and Luke tried to shield himself with his arm to no avail. 

“ _YOU...”_ Another round of snow hit his cowering body, _“...IDIOT!”_

“Woah- hey! Stop it- AH!” He ran for cover at a nearby tree. 

“Who says ‘we’re done’ and doesn’t mean it?!” she balled up the snow and began throwing blindly, “Freakin’ mind games! You stupid, you stupid- ARGGH!”

Her scream was punctuated with kicking the snow, spraying it the tree trunk Luke was hiding behind. And with that Julie was done, breathing heavy, hands numb from the icy snow. 

It had gone very quiet behind the tree, and she wondered if Luke was even there. It was dark outside, she could have easily missed him while he jumped into the nearby trees. 

Curious, but still pissed, walked around to check. 

Big mistake. 

Snow struck her face the moment she craned her head to see. She screamed at the impact but not before getting bombarded with snowballs to her chest and thighs. 

Julie stepped back, flicking the snow from her eyes and mouth. Luke was standing in front of her, fuming, with another ball of snow ready to go. 

“Mind games! _You wanna talk mind games?_ ” 

Uh oh. 

Luke was not going down without a fight. 

“Well...” Another snowball flew at her, causing her to shriek in surprise, “who kisses someone-” he chucks it at her, now landing in her hair, “- _and screams at them afterwards!?_ ” 

“I got caught up in the performance, okay?! Onstage persona or whatever!” She kicked some snow into his area once more and he yelped, some hitting him in the center at his thin _Rush_ shirt.

Her bitterness was on full display as she collected snow into the biggest sphere, “You would know that, wouldn’t you? With you flexing your biceps and winking at girls and all that shit!” She launched it at his head, colliding against his ear. 

Luke let out a battle cry, scooping some snow with both hands but Julie was already running in the opposite direction. Luke was in hot pursuit but this time Julie found her own tree for shelter. 

Dropping to the ground, she prepped her own snowballs, waiting. 

“Don’t tell me you’re jealous now, Julie?! ”she heard him yell, seeking her out,

“You don’t have the right to be jealous! But what are you gonna do though? Rat them out to Mr. Chen? Switch up seating arrangements?” he taunted. 

“No,” she smirked before popping up and surprising him with an icy projectile to his shoulder, “I’m just gonna punch them in the face and steal their keys instead!” 

He rounded the tree and she booked it for another. 

_“We needed… a car!”_ he threw one and landed it on her back. 

She stumbled forward but spun around to glower, finger pointing accusingly at him “No! _You_ were jealous of Brad. Like how you were of Nick. Because _you’re_ still hung up on me!” 

He dropped his snowball. 

“Me?,” Then Luke trudged over to her until they were about a foot apart, “ _Me?!_ ” 

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed you trying to pick up where you left off? Singing my mom’s song, tickling me- you thought you were so slick with putting me on your lap?” 

“I was trying out a thing called being ‘civil’, Julie!” He jutted a finger into her shoulder, “ _You_ were the one to bring up all of this! _You_ were the one who practically grinded on me back at Stanford!” 

“You’re insufferable!” 

“And you kissed me!” 

“Shut up, Patterson!” 

“Make me, Molina!” 

_Oh. I will._

Spurred by his smug demeanor, Julie rammed her head into his chest, knocking him down on his butt.

His body sank into the snow and she was on top of him, thighs bracketing his waist. Her hands, red and numb from the cold, scooped more snow to stuff under his beanie. 

But Luke bucked underneath her and, with great force, tipped her over so that they’re positions were switched. On her back, she clapped the snow onto his face. He growled and skidded some snow onto hers. 

Grunting, her hand reached behind her for more snow, but Luke pinned her wrists down, trapping her. 

“Ugh! Let go of me!” 

She shimmied but couldn’t break free, his grip on her tightened and pressed on her more. 

He lowered his head, “No! I need to know!” 

His face hovered above hers. From this angle, she took in his eyelashes, speckled with snow, his buttoned nose flushed pink from the cold- 

That was all she had time to observe before Luke’s face changed completely, the fight leaving him. His features softened as he laid eyes on her. 

“I,” he dropped his voice, “I need to know Julie…” 

“What?”

He didn’t answer. 

He only grazed his thumb against her face, brushing away the snow off her cheek-

before rushing forward to crash his lips onto hers. 

The gasp of surprise she let loose was snuffed out by a darting of his tongue, and Julie found herself responding greatly, leaning into the kiss, her hands curling around his collar and bringing him in deeper. 

Their mouths moved against each other’s desperately, the heat of their earlier quarreling translating into an intense meeting of lips and tongue right there in the middle of the snow. 

Oh god, Julie mused (or maybe moaned into Luke’s mouth)...

They were such disasters, weren’t they?

* * *

They had relocated to the backseat of the car, tangled up in each other as if they were making up for lost time. 

She was on his lap, his hand was carding through her hair, the other on her waist to keep her from falling, as they kissed each other senseless. 

It was very much reminiscent of the first time they tried making out- on Julie’s bed, being careful not to be seen by unwanted eyes, eager but cautious in their movements. 

And Julie was beyond the point of caring- she couldn’t hide that she loved kissing him. She had forgotten just how good it felt to be wrapped up like this with him.

Forgotten how ever since the first time they kissed, after Luke had plucked up the courage to do so in her mom’s studio after writing their first song together, she hadn’t wanted to be away from him for more than a second…

The familiar didn’t feel scary now, not when Luke, after their intense snowball fight, was handling her so carefully.

She could sense him smiling with each meeting of their lips (his incredibly _soft_ lips) and she couldn’t fight the one sneaking onto her own face too. 

She couldn’t believe how blissfully happy she was from his touch, from how he looked at her as if she was the star, sun, and the moon. 

She was safe with him. Safe in the little bubble they created here in the back of Brad’s Tesla, the evening snow falling outside, music softly playing in the background. 

But it wasn't going to last. 

“What-” she said breathlessly, his lips on her neck, slowly coming to her senses, “What are we doing, Luke?” 

His hands stilled and that was Julie knew she just broke the spell by talking. But they did need to talk. They both knew they couldn’t stay like this forever. 

“...I don’t know,” he mumbled, pulling away. 

And he gently shifted her off his lap. 

They sat on opposite sides of the car. Catching their breaths. Thinking. 

And Julie couldn’t think if Luke was any closer to her. And she needed to, in order to delicately put together the next sentences or else risk ruining everything. 

She fiddled with the zipper on her parka, “You were really going to apologize?” 

“Yeah. I wrote you something,”

 _A song_. 

“Was that the CD? ‘For Julie’?” 

“Yeah,” he ran his fingers through his hair, “Thought it would win you back.”

“Why did you think you need to win me back? Since you thought we were gonna get back together anyway?” 

“I wanted to show you I meant it. That things were gonna change,” Wow. This was huge, coming from the guy who fought against any form of change for the longest time...

“A song doesn’t fix everything, Luke,” 

It couldn’t fix years of ignoring each other, hating each other… 

“Then what was that in there? Back at _Eats & Beats _?” 

“It was a start,” 

“Of what?” he pressed. 

“I don’t know. Luke, I don’t know what to think,”

She raised her head to look at him.

“A lot has happened these past few days… And too much has happened between us 3 years ago. And the stuff that we said to each other…. It’s not gonna go away that fast.” 

She placed her hand on top of his. 

“I’m sorry. If I confused you,”

He nodded, “I confused you too. It seems like,” 

And he had. This back and forth of showing interest and wishing she would stay far away from him- when, as their little fight in the snow showed, that he was not over what happened between them either. 

“Did you mean what you said?” Julie had to ask, “That I was the only girl you ever wanted to be with?” 

She prepared herself for his response, but he remained silent. 

That told her everything. 

“We were 14, Luke. I was the only girl you knew. I was your only friend. Of course, you’d think that we were gonna be together forever,”

“You didn’t?” He asked, some vulnerability dripping through. And Julie didn’t expect her heart to skip a beat at that. 

“Life was simpler then,” 

Back when the only thing that kept them apart was the 5 minute drive between their houses. 

When Julie loved Christmas and sang all the songs at the top of her lungs. 

When Julie’s mom was still around to guide her and give advice, never having to deal with the reality of her not being there anymore. 

Then Luke posed the question: “Do you wish you could go back?”

“Sometimes,” 

“Me too,” 

“But we can’t,”

Luke agreed, although he didn’t want to, “We can’t.”

And that was the crux of it. This little bubble, it had protected them from that hard truth. Being on stage had felt like a time machine, kissing each other too.

It was so easy to pretend they could pick up where they left off. 

Here in Seattle, they were Luke and Julie, stripped away from everything that had forced them apart- social circles, boyfriends, family issues. 

But once they leave the bubble, what would happen? When they got Carlos and Reggie back? When they came back home? Would they still want _this_ ? 

There was nothing stopping them from crashing and burning if they did make the decision. 

Did they make a decision?

Julie couldn’t delve into it because she jerked her hand away, remembering. 

“What time is it?” 

“Shit,” Luke took out his phone and read the clock, “The train’s almost here!” 

“We need to go!” 

They crawled into the front two seats, Luke behind the wheel. They punched in the address on the GPS and they sped off onto the streets of Seattle, praying that they would make it in time. 

* * *

They had 6 hours. 

6 whole hours. 

And they were still late. 

It had been the traffic, driving on city streets that neither of them knew. 

At least that was what they told themselves to fend off the rising guilt they felt in their stomachs. 

They burst through the doors of the train station and found the terminal. Carlos and Reggie’s train was still there but by the time they got there, all the passengers had disembarked.

They searched the nearby benches but couldn’t find them. 

Luke kicked the wall in frustration, “How could we have missed it?” 

Julie could name a reason or two. None of which would have particularly made her a model sister and, in Luke’s case, a model best friend… 

(Have they really been kissing for that long??)

“It’s the end of the line, they couldn’t have-” She was getting frantic now. This was supposed to be it. They had known every move of their trip up until this point. 

“They could have gone to Canada?” 

“Without passports?” But as Julie said it, she entertained the possibility of Carlos’ craftiness somehow finding a loophole.

Illegal and possibly dangerous loopholes, knowing her brother. 

“They’re not picking up!” he repeatedly pressed redial for both Julie’s and Reggie’s number. Only to receive a voicemail greeter. “We lost them!” 

“No, no, no, no. This can’t be it. This can’t be it!” 

‘Wait!” Luke suddenly shouted, lightbulb going off, “What if… what if they weren’t going to the North Pole?” 

“But we saw the computer. The map to the North Pole!” 

“Yeah, but there weren’t any other travel sites. They didn’t even bother looking up where to go after Seattle…” 

Julie’s eyes widened, “So, what you’re saying is- Seattle was the end destination this whole time?” 

They were on a mission to save Santa, but they went to Seattle? 

What could be in Seattle-? 

Oh my god. 

The magazine article she gave Carlos. 

Julie and Luke shared a look, the epiphany striking them at once. 

“ _Amazon!_ ” 

* * *

They arrived at the Amazon Spheres in record time but had to park far, due to the street being blocked off by the many cars parked for some event on the square. 

Julie grabbed a hold of Luke’s hand and they bolted down the streets until they approached the three glass domes that marked the Amazon headquarters. 

“Carlos!” she shouted, running around the pavement surrounding the building, “Reggie! Where are you guys?” 

Luke dropped their hands and sprinted towards the doors but they were locked, “Come on!” 

Julie was becoming more panicked as she circled the perimeter multiple times.

She kept hoping she would come upon those two goofs with a surveillance drone or even duffle bag filled with a rope or a grappling hook or... something! 

But nothing and no one was there but her and Luke. 

She met Luke again at the entrance. He was sitting on the ground, staring forlornly at the building. 

Julie dropped next to him. The dread anchoring her, dragging her down. 

What a sad sight they made. They sat there on the steps leading up to the Amazon building, curling up against each other, blinded by the lights from the Christmas fair across the way. 

Far far away from home… 

“They’re gone, Luke. Carlos is gone...” 

This had been their last resort. They had no leads. No way of communicating with them. 

They came all this way- all this way just to lose them. For good. 

Luke shook his head, “We- we can’t give up, Julie. There’s gotta be… there’s gotta be some place we haven’t checked-” 

“ _Where?_ ” She dropped her head into her hands, “He’s lost and I-I don’t know where he could be…” 

“It’s my fault! I got… distracted!” 

“Then it’s my fault as well as yours too,” 

She shook her head, “No. I’m not talking about the kissing…” 

Her eyes were welling up with tears. She had never been so scared in her life. Not even when her mom died. Because at least there was a chance to get Carlos back.

The thought of him missing- out there, lost in some city at night rendered her immobile. She couldn’t move, but she was shaking visibly. 

And to think, how bad they had left things- how _she_ had left things with Carlos: 

_“The sooner you go to Jake’s, the sooner you won’t be my problem. Now go!”_

Her guilt enveloped her as well as this parka did. Her actions from the day before catching up to her and she cried harder. 

“I-I m-m-messed up. Y-you’re right, Luke. I was in my self-absorbed bubble and I did this. I drove him away!”

“Julie...” Luke draped his arm around her, rubbing her back, “No. You didn’t…” 

“I did!” she sniffled.

“Ever- ever since mom died. I did everything I could to just move on- to not think about her as much. I didn’t want to sing anymore. I didn’t want to celebrate Christmas anymore. My love for both died with her, Luke. It didn’t feel right, never felt right to do them without her!” 

Tears streaming down her face, she went on:

“We haven’t been celebrating it at all since she passed, you know? We haven’t put up the lights that she loved so much. Or put on the showcase. Or baked the cookies. Dad would try, but it would get too much for him. Like we only do the bare minimum, for Carlos’ sake...” 

Just the tree. And the tree skirt. The ornaments were optional. That would require going to the studio, to the loft where all the boxes were. 

None of them had stepped foot in there in a long time… 

Not even for Christmas. 

“Carlos- he really was a trooper. He was so young when it happened. I shouldn’t have blamed him for wanting things to be how they were before mom died,” 

She thought back to all the times Carlos would knock on her door and ask to play with him or ask to help him with school.

And how ever since mom died, she had been in a mood and would often turned him away, always saying ‘Leave me alone’ or would just plain ditch him to hang out with Carrie and Kayla. 

The Julie years ago would have dropped everything to hang out with Carlos.. 

The Julie years ago would have baked with Carlos in a heartbeat. 

“H-He just wanted to make cookies with me. I should have- I should have just made cookies with him, Luke,” she sobbed, her head collapsing against his chest.

She held onto him, tears soaking his already damp shirt. 

“You are not selfish,” Luke whispered, “Look what you were willing to do. Driving all this way to bring him home. I’d say you’re a pretty good big sister for doing that. And you’re trying. And hey...” 

He finger gingerly tipped her chin up so she could look at him. 

You’ve been trying. You've been coping with it the best you could,” 

“Coping meant pushing everyone who cared about me away. People who… who meant well.” 

Like the boy beside her, who had stood by her during that difficult first year… who she yelled at for getting too into her business… 

“Julie, No one blames you for that. People who understand and really care about you, would never fault you for that. And…,"

He cleared his throat, head casted down.

“...screw those who didn’t understand. Those who pushed you when you weren’t ready.” 

She grabbed hold of his hand, squeezing it reassuringly, “Luke, it’s- it’s okay-” 

“No, it wasn’t,” he declared, “I should have left you alone. You were gonna do it on your own eventually or never if you chose not to. I needed to respect that.”

Julie wiped her tears, her shoulders relaxing at Luke’s apology. 3 years too late, but she was still very much needed. And still very much made her heart stir with a myriad of emotions. 

She could cry again, but for different reasons. 

“But Julie you’ve come a long way though. You _sang_ tonight,” He shook her gently, his amazement of her talent making an encore, “You did it.” 

She let out a wet laugh, “Yeah. I guess I did.” 

“You said… you couldn’t do it anymore because of your mom. But you not only sang, you sang a Christmas song too,” 

“To be fair, ‘Christmas Duel’ isn’t the run of the mill Christmas song,” scoffed Julie. 

“What changed?” 

Julie pushed out a long, shaky breath.

“I felt her up there, Luke. It was like she was there. With me. And- And I thought it would have been painful, but it felt… good,”

This time Luke gave her hand a tight squeeze. He smiled at her, eyes twinkling. 

“It was amazing. It was the catharsis I needed. Made me rethink what else I might have missed out on because I thought it would have been painful.” 

Like maybe celebrate the holiday she loved with the family she had left behind… 

Circling it back to Christmas made her think of Carlos again. 

Resting her head now on Luke’s shoulder, she was beginning to feel overwhelmed again, “I just want to bring him home, Luke,” 

He kissed her on the forehead, bringing her in tighter, “I know.” 

“He deserves a good Christmas. A good normal Christmas for once. He scared the shit out of me with this little stunt, but he’s still a kid,” 

Julie tipped her head back, just begging the heavens for some sort of miracle.

“If I- If I could get him back home, we’ll do it all. We’ll bake enough cookies that we’ll have to eat nothing but those for weeks. I’ll blast Christmas music around the house like how mom would.” 

“Loud and proud,” Luke chuckled, reminiscing about the Christmases of the past, "That your neighbors would complain.” 

“I’ll even bust out the ladder too. Put up the garlands on the mantle, hell, I’ll put it everywhere, in the kitchen, in the bathroom. I’ll even string up the-” She stopped. 

She blinked. 

She got distracted. 

By the sounds of children laughing filtered through from across the street, where that festival was at.

Bright glittering lights pierced through the bare branches. And with the snow all around, it bounced off the white landscape, creating an iridescent winter wonderland.

Nothing could be more of a picturesque Christmas-y site. 

But in the middle, from their vantage point, between two trees, was a light fixture that stuck out. A red one, of a flower. A poinsettia, of course.

It blinked and went by a timed lighting feature, giving the illusion of the poinsettia spinning.

But from where she sat, if she had no idea it was a poinsettia, squinting at it, made it appear like there were more petals than there were, it made it look almost like… 

A dahlia. 

“...the lights!” she finished resolutely, rising to her feet. 

“What is it?” Luke asked. 

She gently coaxed him to his feet and pointed to what she was seeing. 

“I think I know where they are!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year everybody!!!!!
> 
> Again disregard the geography- I don't know what's across the Amazon Spheres. I've never been to Seattle. This part was never in the book. I added onto it because it made sense with the magazine article I made up from the beginning. 
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who's been giving this story a lot of love. I enjoy waking up to new comments from you. It really helps push the story along. 
> 
> Y'all are the best :)


	13. The I-5

Chapter 13 ‘The I-5’

_ “Cool! It’s just what I wanted!” A young Carlos shouted in glee upon unwrapping his Christmas present: a new drone. _

_ “That’s awesome, niño! ” Ray, always the family’s cameraman, laughed behind his trusty XA20, zooming in on the box, “Santa really came through this year.”  _

_ “Yeah,” Julie replied, distanced from the moment, scrolling through her phone on the couch, “Sure he did.”  _

_ Their father sent her a warning look. Fortunately Carlos was too entranced by the toy to notice her sarcastic tone.  _

_ If someone were to take a peek into the Molinas’ living room, and if it weren’t for the presents, the tree, and Carlos’ unbridled excitement, they wouldn’t be able to tell that it was Christmas morning. No sight of any lights or wreaths, or a sound of Christmas music or the TV switched on to the parade.  _

_ It appeared to be just a slightly more special December morning.  _

_ And that was how Julie preferred it.  _

_ She, unlike her dad and brother, was already dressed in her jeans and blouse. She had already opened her presents, smiled into the camera for the relatives- all the obligatory stuff. And now, she was itching to get the hell out of here.  _

_ Carlos set the box down, “I have to try it!”  _

_ And the boy bounded for the kitchen, swiping the scissors off the counter so he could open it. The components in its plastic casing were shimmied out of the box. Carlos’s fingers vibrated, unfolding the instructions at warp speed.  _

_ “Julie!” He waved her over, tearing open a plastic bag with his teeth. He spat it out, “come help me build it!”  _

_ Her eyes scoured over the mess Carlos created on the rug. She pursed her lips.  _

_ “As much as I would love to do that. Brad’s gonna be here soon,” she announced, getting up from the couch.  _

_ Their dad stopped rolling, returning his camera to its stand, “Brad?”  _

_ “Yeah, he’s taking me to the movies. I told you guys,”  _

_ “But it’s Christmas morning,” Carlos said from his place on the floor, as if that was supposed to mean anything to Julie anymore.  _

_ She ignored him and nodded at her dad, “I’ll be back later.”  _

_ Ray stepped forward and for a second Julie thought he was going to say something. Something to dissuade her from going.  _

_ Instead, he breathed out a long sigh. His light eyes aged just about another ten years. His lips quirked into a half-smile half-grimace.  _

_ “Just...be safe. Okay?”  _

_ God, she hated when he would say stuff like that. Like she was going to disappear the moment she walked out the door. Nevertheless, she agreed.  _

_ Julie went up to her room, stuffing her purse with what she needed for her day out with Brad. She spared a moment to touch up her eyeliner and to grab the nearest scrunchie. Shouldering her bag, she meant to make her escape only to find Carlos blocking her doorway.  _

_ Her hand clutched her chest, “Holy-! You scared me!”  _

_ “When will you be back?” he grilled.  _

_ “Whenever the movie’s over,” she tried to sidestep him but Carlos slid in front of her.  _

_ He wouldn’t let up.  _

_ “What time?”  _

_ “Geez. I don’t know. Look up the running time, why don’t you?”  _

_ “You’re always out,” _

_ “Yeah because I have a life,” Growing more exasperated, she bulldozed him to leave, “You should try it sometime.” she called back to him, skipping down the stairs.  _

_ A horn from outside alerted everyone that Brad was outside waiting for her.  _

_ Ray walked up to the door, opening it and waved over to her boyfriend, “Are you sure you don’t wanna invite him in first for some cocoa-?”  _

_ “Nah. We gotta make the movie!” she lied.  _

_ As if she ever wanted Brad to come over. She tried to minimize the chances for him to set foot in this house and interact with her family; not like Brad had ever expressed the interest- and for that Julie couldn’t love him even more.  _

_ If she had it her way, he wouldn’t even be there to pick her up. If only she had a car, then she would just go straight to his, subtracting her nosy family from the equation entirely.  _

_ She kissed her dad on the cheek, zipped her boots and she was off down the driveway, careful not to scratch Brad’s new Tesla as she boarded.  _

_ “Hey babe,” He greeted with a kiss, hooking his arm around her waist to pull her closer. They broke apart and he gave her a long, admiring once over, “Lookin’ good.”  _

_ Julie proceeded to check out her boyfriend of this past year. His tight Los Feliz athletic tee doing so much to draw eyes to his toned form, his teeth so immaculately white, blonde hair all done up that it made her self-conscious about the work she put in to hers- just perfect.  _

_ Every time she looked at him, she had to mentally stomp down this starstruck feeling because this was Brad freakin’ Meyers. And she was his girl. How could she be this lucky? _

_ “You don’t look so bad yourself,” she complimented, settling into the passenger seat, “God, I couldn’t wait to get out of the house.”  _

_ Brad nodded. And as part of their deal, he didn’t inquire about it anymore.  _

_ “Don’t worry. As your knight in shining armor, it is my duty to rescue you. Now,” he checked to see if Ray was at the door before whispering: “you got your bathing suit?”  _

_ Julie held up her bag where her one-piece had been hiding since last night, “Of course.”  _

_ “Poolside Christmas here we come,” he grinned, giving her a quick peck on the lips before starting the engine.  _

_ Julie giggled, buckling in. Now that was how she would rather spend today.  _

_ Paranoid, she gave one last look at her house, to make sure no one suspected anything. Her dad had left his post by the door, but she could see Carlos upstairs in his bedroom. He was at his window, chin resting on the windowsill, hands folded underneath, watching her with some expression on his face.  _

_ Julie wondered why he hadn’t bothered in playing with his stupid drone already, and she feared that he caught on to her movie lie.  _

_ She told Brad to floor it because she just… couldn’t deal with Carlos anymore today. She was not gonna let him ruin today for her.  _

_ The further they drove away from her house, the less she could picture Carlos’ face watching her from his window…  _

_ It wasn’t until his face had been completely rid of her mind, that she realized that her brother had been crying.  _

_ For a second, she entertained the idea of turning the car around. _

_Then the second passed._

* * *

The Annual Winter Fair, as the sign said when they had paid for admission, was beautiful. 

It looked beautiful, at least, blurred and whizzing by because Julie and Luke raced down the square with great deal of urgency; they couldn’t afford to stop and admire all the merchant tents selling their wares or the giant inflatable snowmen decorations or even the spacious ice skating rink. 

Their sights were set on the Christmas lights maze. 

Careful to walk at a brisk pace so as to not disrupt those who meandered through the lit up arches and tunnels, they searched high and low for the boys. 

Julie was certain Carlos would hit the maze. Christmas lights were the one thing he loved doing with mom in preparation for the holidays. The lights were both their favorite part of the season.

Mom had once put it as ‘the closest thing to a glistening L.A snowfall’ when she would hook the lights over the porch. She had used to hoist little Carlos up to help after he dutifully untangled them from the box. 

Their house had been the envy of the entire neighborhood when it came to their lights- all decked out in many colors and were rigged for different configurations, timed to music. 

Mom had promised Carlos that she would teach him how to do it one day. 

He never had the chance to. 

If Julie had spotted the poinsettia lights from the Amazon Spheres and had mistaken it for a dahlia, then Carlos would have too. 

It would have called out to him like the keychain back in the thrift store did for her. 

But Carlos had always been much braver than her. He would have answered the call. 

The maze made up 3/4ths of the lot and wound around the perimeter, but often broke out into small areas for more elaborate lighting setups. Like animatronic reindeer or those Christmas trees consisting of tall spirals. 

They checked these areas especially, usually there were a couple people lingering and hiding out. 

But Julie would forget herself, forget about Luke behind her and would run off ahead after one sweep of these nooks. 

She knew he was here. She could feel it. He was here. He was close. She ran as fast as she could, wanting to find her brother before he slipped through her fingers again. 

And then she saw it. 

Santa’s Workshop. 

It was in a lateral part of the maze where the biggest of these lighting animatronic features were. 

Once she saw the name in lights, her heart began to beat a mile a minute, almost like how fast a metal detector beeps once treasure was nearby. 

She skipped around passerbys, dodging dogs on leashes until she was right behind a group of people observing the lit up workshop, with the tiny illuminated cartoon elves popping out from behind shutters, and Santa rising every few minutes on a platform, singing a ‘ho ho ho’ before sinking down below the fence. 

Two figures stuck out amongst the rest of the gathered viewers. 

The smaller one was kneeling in front of the display- in reverence? Or in a moment of defeat? Julie couldn’t tell. 

The taller one squatted next to them, appearing to be consoling them. 

She froze at the sight. 

“Oh my god,” 

Luke took the words right out of her mouth, finally caught up with her. His hands were on her shoulders, jostling her out of her petrified state. 

Her hand found Luke’s and he intertwined their fingers without a second thought. 

Together, they inched closer. 

Drawing strength from Luke at her side, Julie was able to call out: “ _ Carlos! _ ” 

The small figure swiveled on his knees, and her brother’s tear stained face came into view. 

“J-Julie?” 

She let Luke’s hand loose as she bolted towards her brother, “Carlos!” 

She slid onto her knees to meet him, skidding them or tearing her jeans- she couldn’t tell or care. And in seconds she was enveloping him in a tight embrace.

He tried angling his head up to look at her, “How did-?”

She squeezed him against her tighter, “Shut up. Just shut up,”

The young boy didn’t relax in her hold and her heart plummeted. 

“Look. I-I’m not mad, Carlos. I am not mad at you,” 

“You’re not?” he sounded surprised. 

“I don’t think I have it in me to be mad at you,” Which was true. Any bitterness she had held for him during the trip had dissipated seeing him right in front of her, seeing that he was okay. She felt an overwhelming amount of relief instead. 

“I’m just- I’m just glad you’re safe,” she mumbled into his hair, kissing his wavy locks, “Thank god you’re safe.” 

And that was when Carlos finally allowed himself to burrow into her neck, arms reached up to lock behind her neck, the remnants of his tears now rolling down her clavicle. 

Misty-eyed herself, she whispered louder, her head raised to the heavens: “ _ Thank you, thank you, thank you _ .” 

It had truly been some divine intervention that brought her brother back to her. 

And she had sneaking suspicion who it was up there that was looking out for them… 

Meanwhile, Luke had barrelled into Reggie, almost knocking him over, and the two were in a tight embrace, both with tears in their eyes. 

“God, I was worried sick about you, man,” he whispered into the boy’s leather clad shoulder. 

Reggie nodded furiously, voice thick from unshed tears, “Didn’t mean to worry you. I swear, I didn’t-” 

“I know. I know,” Luke broke their hug, rubbing his face, sniffling. He kept one hand on Reggie’s shoulder, a smile breaking out, “What do you say? Let’s go home.” 

“Home?” 

“You know…” and the guitarist’s smile turned teasing, “Where your horse is?” 

The Molinas pulled away and stared at the teenage boys curiously, who were now grabbing their sides in laughter. 

“Its-” Reggie managed out between his wheezes, “It’s this inside joke.” 

“Yeah. The boys and I are-” 

“His horse?” Julie finished off for Luke who shrugged. And she knew that whatever ridiculousness that joke was, it was enough to jar Reggie out of his state of sadness, which she had a feeling was Luke’s intent. 

All four of them, reunited, left the maze once it had come to their attention that they were causing quite the scene in front of Santa’s Workshop. 

There was an unspoken agreement that they were all too exhausted to delve into serious topics tonight or to even stick around and enjoy what the fair had to offer. 

(They  _ did _ stop for hot cocoa and cookies but Carlos nearly tipped his styrofoam cup over, lacking the proper coordination in his sleep-deprived state.)

It turned out, it was pretty difficult to sleep on a train. At least for Carlos. Minutes after Reggie had taken their selfie from the night before, the boy had sprang up once the shaking of the train worsened and Reggie was in a half-sleep state the entire time as he entertained Carlos. 

On the way to where they parked, they had come to find out that the reason Julie and Luke couldn’t have gotten a hold of them before was because Julie’s phone had been turned off in order to preserve the battery and Reggie’s phone had accidentally been set to ‘Do Not Disturb’. 

The car was stationed far from the fair, and the whole time Carlos kept asking to be picked up because he was too tired to walk (“You’re too big to be carried- Reggie, no! He’s too heavy!”). 

And Julie, although not as tired, shared the same sentiment. She had half a mind to ask Luke if he could at least give her a piggyback ride, but she didn’t want to set a bad example in front of Carlos. 

She needed to be a better sister to him. And she had already planned to start as early as possible. 

But the boy needed to learn some patience first. 

“Dude!” Reggie exclaimed, dashing circles around the car once they arrived, “ _ How did you score a Tesla? _ ” 

“Isn’t that your boyfriend’s car?” Carlos asked, peering into the windows to see if Brad was waiting inside. 

“Not anymore,”

Reggie and Carlos gave her a gobsmacked stare. 

“Oh, it’s still his car!” she clarified, “I just mean… he’s not my boyfriend. I don’t think… Not anymore.” 

Julie could see Luke scratching the back of his neck, attempting to bite down a smile at the declaration. Luckily, no one else noticed- their attention solely fixed on the car. 

Reggie hopped up and down, hand raised as if he was in a classroom. “Ooh. Ooh. Can I drive it?” 

“Can I?” 

Three unamused pairs of eyes landed on Carlos. 

The kid shrugged, “What? Doesn’t it have that autodrive thing? I’ll just sit in the seat.” 

Luke’s expression dropped. 

_ Oh dear.  _

Luke began stomping off down the sidewalk, kicking snow unfortunate enough to be in his path. 

_ “Why does everyone know about the autodrive?!” _ he screamed at the skyscrapers, borderline unhinged. 

Reggie had to go after him and wrangle him back to the car. 

Julie winced and made Carlos promise to never  _ ever _ mention the autodrive in front of Luke again. 

* * *

Julie had chugged both hers and Carlos’ hot chocolate in preparation to stay up as long as possible for the drive back from Seattle. She was to take the wheel first; it was the least she could do after snoozing through Luke’s 13 hour drive. 

Although after having only 2 hours worth of a recovery nap, Luke had still insisted on taking the wheel in her stead. He had blocked the driver’s side, leaning against it while Carlos and Reggie finished up their bathroom break (somewhere in the trees, totally secluded). 

“Pretty please?” she had asked coyly, playing with the zippers of his coat. 

Unwavered, he crossed his arms, “I’m driving tonight. That’s final.”

Julie had hooked her fingers into his pockets, luring him towards her. 

“Is that so?” 

Luke regarded their closing distance with a visible swallow and timid chuckle. 

“Uh… y-yes,” he said, less confident. Julie raised an eyebrow at him. 

“Hmm…” she had stood up on her tip-toes, her breath tickling Luke’s cheek before speaking low into his ear. Seeing him trying to repress a shudder had made the next moment all the more satisfying... 

“Then how come I have the key?” 

A puzzled expression crossed his features until Julie waved the key card in front of his face; having stolen it from his pockets moments before, while he was easily distracted. 

Luke gaped, dawning onto him that he had been tricked. And when Julie lightly hip-checked him out of the way so she could unlock the car and enter the driver’s seat, he didn’t put up a fight, only staring dumbly at her, lowkey impressed. 

“Well played, boss,” he had commented, after finding his voice. 

And after his blush had died down. 

Oh how easy it was to mess with him now, Julie thought happily to herself. 

Luke had called shotgun at least, much to Carlos’ chagrin. But the boy’s complaints had died down the second he reclined onto Reggie’s lap, succumbing to sleep only 20 minutes into the drive. 

Luke and Reggie were still very much awake, filling each other in on their respective journeys to which Julie, now and then, would shush them for being loud enough to wake Carlos. 

Julie had considered making a sooner than necessary pit stop, just so Luke could join everyone else in the backseat if he was just going to talk to Reggie the whole time. 

But in the lull moments between animated conversations, she would catch him looking at her from the corner of her eyes. 

Whenever their eyes met, his lips would perk up into a smile. 

And once Reggie had finally tuckered out (head fallen back, mouth opened, drool dripping out- gross), Luke had his full attention on her. 

Skipping the whole yawning schtick, he would extend his arm so that his hand was resting on her seat. His fingers would wind up in her hair, playing with her curls as she recounted a story, tugging on them goodnaturedly whenever she would make a joke good enough to have him snorting. 

Sometimes his fingers would stray, trailing up and down her arm absentmindedly, tracing the patterns on her new sweater. 

Overall, he had just been consistent in making her sensitive to his presence. 

_ Ah. Now that was why he wanted to be in the passenger seat...  _

Luke toughed it out for another few hours, keeping her company (and awake) before he slept. 

Admiring once more how cute he looked when he was asleep, Julie was plagued with Luke-centric thoughts for the remainder of her drive. 

Tonight had been a turning point for the two of them. 

The kissing had certainly tipped the scales towards a more favorable relationship brewing between them. 

But their tearful heart to heart, where Luke had apologized for the way he acted leading up to their breakup and where she forgave him, appreciating his efforts to help her during her tumultuous year- it was safe to say that they weren’t enemies.

But it would be inaccurate to brand them as friends.

He doesn’t look at her like he would with a friend. 

She wouldn’t make friends blush the way she makes him blush. 

And friends definitely wouldn’t get into heated makeout sessions.

Especially if the makeout sessions came about after essentially admitting they harbored enough lingering feelings to warrant their respective bouts of jealousy… 

It was… complicated. For sure. 

And there was the other thing: 

Carlos had given her her phone back after they found him. 

Her phone, which had been her life, the way with which she handled social affairs and maintained her status as Los Feliz elite- 

And she had completely forgotten about it. 

Throughout the trip, she had been aware that it was in Carlos’ possession, but she didn’t miss having it on her person as she thought. 

Especially with what would be waiting for her once she did get it back. 

There were the messages from her friends (the pictures from Kayla, concerned texts from Nick, Carrie’s threats to send a search party due to her inactivity) and the goodnight texts from her dad (which Carlos had dutifully responded to). 

But a lot of her unread messages and missed calls were from Brad. 

He had been blowing up her phone ever since Luke had physically confronted him about how cheated on her. 

There had been a lot of ‘I’M SO SORRY’s and ‘PLEASE CALL ME BACKs’ when she had skimmed through her messages. 

She had ultimately deleted them and blocked him for the time being. 

The action had Julie breathing a bit easier. 

She grinned to herself. Breathing  _ had  _ become just a tad bit easier lately. 

Hmm. That reminded her… 

Her phone had been connected to the stereo and had been playing songs at a low volume while the boys slept. With one hand on the wheel, Julie deftly operated Spotify on her phone, and picked the first Christmas playlist she could find. 

And when a hushed version of ‘Jingle Bell Rock’ whistled through the speakers, Julie bobbed her head from side to side, mouthing the lyrics with ease. 

It took all of her might to not full out sing along. 

The boys were sleeping after all. 

* * *

Julie had been relieved of driving duty somewhere between Eugene and Medford, Oregon. By then she had been driving for about 6 hours, stopping every now and then to charge the car and to buy snacks to help her make the last few hours. 

Reggie had woken up and took over for her, they swapped seats while Luke and Carlos slept. Once daylight broke, Carlos stirred from her lap, which her brother had used for a pillow. He woke up and started playing around with the console. 

Which woke Luke up. 

Props to Luke for taking it in stride, not minding the 11 year-old all of the sudden crowding his space. Mostly because Carlos had to show Luke the full extent of features for the car that he had driven 13 hours in. 

The 17 year-old’s eyes grew with more information Carlos gave him, and Julie found it adorable how he sat, rapt with attention as her brother showed him different settings. 

“Hey Carlos. Since you like using the screen, how about you and Luke switch places? At the next pit stop?” Julie suggested, at which Luke arched an eyebrow. 

He so picked up on her ulterior motives. 

Luke grinned, conspiratorially, “Yeah Reggie. I have to really go to the bathroom. Like right now…” 

That was how they both ended up in the backseat a half hour later, with Julie leaning against Luke as she snuck in some shut-eye. 

The next thing she knew, she woke up back in California a couple hours later with Luke’s arm slung over her shoulder, breathing in the scent of his musty thrift store coat which, oddly enough, gave her butterflies. Since a lot of Luke’s wardrobe came from second hand stores, it was just so Luke that she learned to get used to it. 

She couldn’t blame her weird ramblings about his scent on lack of sleep anymore. 

Nope. She was that far gone on him. 

“Mornin’, sleepyhead,” his voice took on a husky tone that had no right to sound as hot as it did. 

She smiled, marveling at how Luke’s hair was just the right amount of messy to be considered ruggedly handsome. 

Julie couldn’t help but notice that she had her ‘infatuation’ goggles on right now, reserved for that stage once it became clear that the person she liked also liked her back. Where everything the person did or say just- drew her to them, finding them beautiful and amazing in the little things. 

She had done that with Luke. With Brad. 

And now with Luke again. 

She didn’t think it was possible. To catch those first love feelings again. It wasn’t like she was seeing Luke for the first time, she had known him for years. Or seeing him in a new light either. After last night, she only really rediscovered the Luke she had fallen for way back in middle school. 

But everything seemed so thrilling and new, and Julie was as giddy as she was when they had first started dating. 

“Hey,” Luke tapped her nose, preventing her from getting too deep into her thoughts. He must have recognized that ‘face’ he claimed she made, “Stop that.” 

She scrunched her nose, pouting at him, “Stop what?” 

He scanned the front seats, where Reggie kept sneaking glances at them at the rearview mirror and where Carlos was strangely quiet, playing a game on Reggie’s phone. He then brought his lips to her ear: 

“Stop looking so cute. It’s driving me nuts,” 

Oh how her cheeks flushed just then. 

_ Someone is getting bolder with their flirting…  _

Luke went back to how he was sitting before, admiring his handiwork on her blushing face. She elbowed him in the chest but he did that thing where he bites his lip to stifle a laugh. The action inadvertently had her zero in on his mouth. 

She shook her head, dispeling such ideas. She couldn’t act on this. 

Not when her brother was literally sitting right there. 

Luke must have had the same thought running through his head because his eyes zipped to Carlos’ direction and he then untangled himself from her and started going on his phone. 

He scrolled through his screen with mild interest. Until he witnessed something that made his eyebrows shoot up. 

“Julie,” he swatted her shoulder rapidly, “Yo, check this out!” 

She scooted over to find Luke on Instagram, “I thought you didn’t-?”

“I don’t. But Sunset Curve does,” he explained, “But Alex sent this to me this morning,” 

There was a video playing from some account that neither of them recognized, but it was footage of Luke, taken from the cliffside wedding in Big Sur. 

Someone who attended it must have been filming part of his set, and maybe stuck around to talk to Luke afterwards and found out about Sunset Curve. 

The band had been tagged, and Julie needed to one day convince Luke into getting an IG for himself. At least to promote his own musical endeavors. 

Luke swiped back to the group chat where the link was sent from: 

**Bobby:** Okayyyy? going solo now???

**Bobby:** jk. tight set. cant b mad

**Alex:** where were you????

**Alex:** was that the ocean??

**Alex** : also good job! <3

**Bobby:** _ok lowkey kinda mad_

“They should have seen us at  _ Eats & Beats _ ,” Julie chuckled, “Now that would have made them jealous. Playing with a backing band?” 

Luke blew out a breath, “Damn. That’s right. Never thanked you for that by the way.”

“No need. Looked like you needed some help,” 

“Yeah  _ some _ help,” Then Luke sat ramrod straight, “Oh! Wait. I wanna check something. Hold on-” 

He typed out the  _ Eats & Beats  _ in the search bar and selected their IG profile. 

“No way!” He shoved the phone in her face, “Look who made their Open Mic highlights story-” 

Julie seized the device, “Wait! Huh?”

She was on their story. Her and Luke. Singing together. With a series of flame emojis- probably from how heated their mic exchange looked on stage. 

But besides that, Julie turned the volume up and was floored. 

Was that what she sounded like? After years of not singing? 

Holy crap. She wasn’t that bad. 

“Woah. That’s rad! Watcha playing back there?” Reggie jerked his head and nearly lost control of the wheel (and they did not have autodrive switched on). His eyes bugged out of his head once glossing over the screen. 

“No way! That’s you guys?” 

“It is, Reg!” Luke whooped, incredibly proud. 

Carlos sprang up from his seat and raised his head to listen. His mouth dropped open, and he stared at Julie incredulously. 

“You… sang?” 

There was a hopeful glint in his otherwise somber eyes. 

Julie swallowed a lump in her throat. “Y-yeah...”

Carlos’ mouth parted to speak, unsure what to say, but Reggie’s overzealous response overshadowed his. 

“Damn, Julie! You got pipes!” he reached back to punch her in the knee, fangirling over her vocals,“Luke, you goon! You totally undersold it!” 

Julie smirked at Luke, "Oh really?" 

And it was his turn to blush again...

* * *

They had stopped at a diner on their way to Sacramento. They were deserving of a real meal not pieced together by gas station snacks. 

Carlos had resumed his un-Carloslike silence, even while he was seated next to Reggie in the booth, who spoke animatedly about the video game that both he and Carlos played. He kept picking at his food, chiming every so often but was relatively quiet throughout their brunch. 

Julie was worried. Obviously, something happened on this trip that made Carlos upset, seeing as though they had found him and Reggie crying back in Seattle. They didn’t talk about it yet, and she was clueless on how to start. 

For years, her and her family never talked about what was bothering them, even though everyone else in the house knew something was up. It had been an unhealthy coping habit, a way for them to never acknowledge their issues related to mom’s passing. 

And for years, she and Carlos had drifted apart. She wouldn’t know how to broach the topic without setting him off. 

Julie chanced it and saw an opening when Reggie got up to use the restroom. 

“Hey, Carlos-” 

“Wanna check out that creek with me?” Luke interrupted, surprising her. What was he doing?

The boy shrugged. He had nothing better to do. 

As they put their coats back on, Luke lingered behind while Carlos neared the door. 

“Lemme try,” he rubbed her shoulder in an attempt to relax her, “I’ll warm him up for you, boss.” 

Would he really do that for her? 

Before she could thank him, he was chasing Carlos out the door, gunning it for the nearby creek. 

“Where did they go?” Reggie asked after emerging from the bathroom and she pointed at the creek, where they could see Luke and Carlos trying to skip stones. 

“Cool cool, ” 

“Yeah,” 

She assumed he would go off and join them, but instead they continued to sit across from each other with Julie finishing up the last of her pancakes. But Reggie seemed to have stopped eating, a pensive demeanour replacing his usual cheery one. 

“Julie, I wanna say I’m sorry,” 

She sipped her orange juice, “What for?”

“I should have been the responsible one. Should have said ‘no’ when Carlos asked to go-” 

“No, Reggie. I should be thanking you,” she gestured to her brother out the window, “He’s ok. I don’t think he would have made it that far without you.” 

“We should have gone that far at all,” 

“But he’s in one piece,” 

“I wouldn’t let anything happen to him,” asserted Reggie. And Julie believed him. He did care for Carlos that much. 

“You’re really not mad at him?” 

She sighed, “I was pissed yeah... But now I’m not,” 

“Ok. Good. Cuz I spent the whole car ride mentally preparing a speech to help plead Carlos’ case,” 

“It’s alright, Reggie,” 

“Like, I know, he’s not exactly off the hook. But, do cut him some slack. We talked about things on the way over, and I’m just sayin’…,” he folded his hands on the table, “ if you just hear him out, you can see why he felt like he needed to make this trip.” 

Julie squinted at the boy, curiously, “Why did  _ you _ want to go on the trip?” 

“Wanted to help Santa, of course,” 

She continued to stare at him and the boy’s innocent disposition crumbled bit by bit. 

“To have some sort of control on how my Christmas turns out?” he tried again. 

Reggie curled inwards, hugging his leather jacket closer to him, “It sounds silly, but we hoped that if we helped Santa… then maybe he would grant us Christmas wishes.”

“What… what did you wish for?” 

He frowned, eyes fixed into his milkshake glass, “For my parents to stop fighting. For us to be a happy family again...” 

“I’m sorry, Reggie,” sympathized Julie. 

Although having already heard this from Luke, having Reggie say that his parents fought sent another wave of sadness crashing over her. Again, she couldn’t imagine such a happy, easy going guy like Reggie being a product of a broken home. 

“It’s ok,” he shrugged, “But I guess there are some things that Santa’s magic can’t fix. Not like we’d know. We weren’t exactly successful on our mission...” he laughed, trying to play it off as a joke but the heart wasn’t there. 

“Hey…” Julie’s hands found his, startling Reggie, “… if you ever need to come by. For any reason at all. It’s totally cool. It doesn’t have to be because of Carlos.” 

“It’s ok, Julie-” 

“No. No it’s not!” she said, adamant, “We love having you over. Dad’s fond of you and Carlos already sees you as a big bro. And you're- you're just cool, alright.” 

Reggie, was probably the sweetest teenage boy she had ever met. He didn’t deserve to feel like the only thing that would make his parents get along is a miracle. How he had been willing to travel so far from home to fix something that was not his to fix. 

He probably had to grow up fast, Julie thought sadly. Probably would want to spend Christmas like how he did as a kid, thus still clinging onto the belief of Santa even well into his teens. Probably brought back happier memories too. 

He deserved not only a good Christmas. But a good place where he wouldn’t have to feel that sort of pressure anymore. 

She relinquished his hands slowly, “Just… just know that the door’s always open, Reggie...” 

His fingers clasped onto hers, not letting her go just yet. 

Slowly, a smile returned to his face, albeit more shy than what Julie was used to from him. 

“Thank you,”

Julie returned the grin, giving his hand a friendly squeeze. 

Reggie cleared his throat, morphing back into regular self, sitting up straighter now and his smile was on the verge of a half-smirk. He directed Julie’s gaze to the two by the creek, screaming in joy and running around with large sticks. 

Luke and Carlos had apparently given up skipping stones and jumped straight into sword fighting. Something that they used to do when Luke would come over. Before Reggie, Luke had been Carlos’ favorite and had been the first to achieve ‘unofficial’ big brother status.

Spectating their playing now, made Julie wistful for those times again. Maybe they were making a resurgence. 

Luke raised his head and locked eyes with her. His face lit up and he waved. 

_ That and among other things.  _

Julie fluttered her fingers at him before tucking her hair back behind her ear. 

And Reggie was witness to all of this. 

“Anything I should know about-?” he gestured between her and Luke. 

“I really don’t know what to tell you,” she admitted. 

“Still working it out?” she nodded. How was he so perceptive?

They continued watching from their booth. 

“Haven’t seen him like this in a while,” 

“I don’t know. He still looks the same with sleeves on,” she joked. 

“No. He’s just less...angry. Don’t get me wrong. I love Luke, but he can be pretty intense. Lately he's been acting like the world’s turned against him, been irritable. Probably since...” he faltered. 

“I know about his parents,” she brought up. 

Luke and his parents. A touchy topic. 

While the solution for Reggie’s parents came to Julie easily, trying to fix Luke’s issues with his family was trickier. 

She would have given him the same offer as Reggie, but then it would be Luke bouncing around between two houses, neither of which was his own. 

And, unlike Reggie’s parents, Julie knew the Pattersons. They meant well, and it wouldn’t feel right to keep Luke’s visits to the house a secret from them. Their parents still talk from time to time. 

“He should just come home then,” she said, the solution presenting itself to her after working it out in her mind. 

“I think he should too,” Reggie agreed. 

Outside, Carlos had Luke at his mercy, and the poor guitarist had backed up into a log, hurtling backwards, in an attempt to flee Sir Carlos’ sword. 

Julie and Reggie both winced. But Luke popped back up, still grinning. Still holding a stick- sword. 

“Still. He’s gonna be mistaken for the adorable one of the group with all that smiling he’s doing. And we all know that spot is taken,” 

“Right,” 

“....it’s me. I’m the adorable one,” 

She rolled her eyes, “I know, Reggie.” 

“Just checking! Now...”

Reggie dropped Carlos’ unfinished candied cherry into his milkshake. He slid over Luke’ empty cup until it was adjacent to his own drink. 

“...wanna watch me blow this cherry into the other cup?” 

Julie shrugged. 

She had nothing better to do. 

“Why not? Five bucks says you can’t do it...” 

“Challenge accepted,” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They found them!!!
> 
> And JUKE cuteness!
> 
> But will it last????
> 
> Thanks again everyone! Loved all the comments from the last few chapters! Made me laugh. 
> 
> And again, I show off my lack of Tesla knowledge.


	14. CA Route 18 West

Chapter 14 ‘CA Route 18 West’

Julie was going to talk to Emily, she had decided. 

She had reached that conclusion while she and Reggie shacked up in the Tesla, waiting for Luke and Carlos to finish their outing at the creek.

When the chances of the two boys wrapping things up soon had grown quite slim, she and Reggie footed the bill and ferried everyone’s leftovers back to the car (which was starting to reek of the accumulation of junk food they all consumed inside- suck it, Brad). 

It gave her time to talk to Reggie more. They had rarely interacted before, due to their different social circles and the latter taking his job as Carlos’ math tutor seriously while he was over at the Molinas’.

She might have found him annoying before, but that was because she hadn’t given herself the chance to not take everything so seriously. And now that she has loosened up over the course of this journey- 

-every word that tumbled out of Reggie’s mouth was freakin’ hilarious. 

When him and Luke were clutching their ribs from how hard they were laughing at their inside joke, Julie never understood. Until now, while she dangled off the passenger seat, doubled over, wheezing from Reggie’s story of how he tried to fix his amp in the rain. 

Of course if anybody else had told the story, the tone would have dramatically shifted and it would have been a way more tragic. It could have been the sing-songy cadence of Reggie’s natural speaking voice that lightened the mood, or just his face, scrunched up in confusion on how everything had gone wrong- as if it hadn’t registered that water and electricity clearly did not mix- 

He had finished the tale, delighted by Julie’s unflattering cackling to his storytelling, a satisfied smile stretching across his face, and Julie had to roll down the window to get some air flowing in the car because she could not _breathe_ \- that was how hard she had been laughing. 

That was when she spotted Luke and Carlos making their way towards them. 

They were no longer playing, just walking and seemed to be engrossed in a serious conversation- if the way Luke was frowning, his eyebrows furrowed together, and him nodding along to what Carlos was saying was any indicator. 

They were actually talking. Luke was actually bridging this gap between her and Carlos, learning what he could and will help her figure out the next best step. 

He really didn’t have to do that. But he did. 

And then it hit her that this whole trip, being with Luke, reconnecting with him- at the same time, she was starting to reconnect with her mom. She felt… so much closer to her mom now then she had in the years since her passing.

She never would have been forced to confront losing her mom if Luke hadn’t gone on that stage and played her song at the wedding reception. Yes, the spiritual journey she underwent to rediscover her love for music and her love for her mother was her own. 

But Luke had been the spark. 

He helped her grow closer to her mom. 

Shouldn’t she do the same for him?

Climbing down from her laughing fit, she made the split second decision of pulling up Emily Patterson’s contact information- she still had her number on her phone. 

She had to do this now, not before she lost the nerve, but before Luke and Carlos boarded the car and saw what she was doing. Luke would stop her before she could press ‘SEND’, but clearly he wasn’t going to get things done by himself. 

Julie knew she was pulling a ‘Luke’, charging at things headfirst without a plan, but this felt right. 

She wanted for Luke to be able to come home, to fix things with his family. Luke was clearly miserable from being apart from them but he felt like he wouldn’t be accepted upon return, not for who he really was. 

Maybe she could talk to his mom beforehand, ease her into reconciliation like what Luke was doing for her and Carlos. 

They would work something out, maybe if she was able to really convince the woman Luke’s passion and talents were worth pursuing, then maybe Emily would be more open to letting Luke decide what to do with his life.

But how? How could she showcase Luke’s talent? How he could move people with his playing? His voice? 

An idea formed and Julie typed a message:

_Emily, it’s me Julie._

_I want to help. but I think you should see this first…_

She dropped the link for Luke’s performance of ‘Book of Love’ and hit ‘SEND’. 

She would respond to any follow ups Emily may send, but for right now, she had to stuff her phone in her jean pocket because Luke and Carlos finally returned. 

Carlos climbed into the back seat but Luke made a stop at Julie’s door. 

Her eyes conversed with his. 

_So?_

He tilted his head to the side. 

_I’ll tell you later_

She nodded. Then aloud she asked, “Wanna switch seats?” 

“Nah. Promised Carlos I was gonna help him play ‘Among Us’ on my phone,” 

Okay, that was precious. 

_But there goes a peaceful and quiet drive…_

Luke was about to ride in the back, but Julie’s fingers flew out to tangle with his before he could leave. His eyes returned to rest on her face, expectantly. 

Julie sucked in her bottom lip, the heavy topics weighing down on her mind. But she needed to bring it up. 

“When we get back...home, I mean...can we talk?” 

She would need to tell him about his mom eventually. And of course, they need to be on the same page with what they are, who they were to each other. 

“Yeah…” he rubbed circles on the back of her hand- a thing he often did, thinking it was for her benefit but was such a glaring tell of his own uncertainty, “We will.” 

She knew they would talk, he wasn’t going to get out of it. It was more of what they said back in Seattle. 

They were both so… confused. 

She hoped to clear it up once they were in L.A, when they could distance themselves from the ever present danger of getting caught and punished by their parents and just relax. 

Not like this trip didn’t have it’s relaxing moments. The ride back had proven to be much milder than the ride to Seattle.

There were no frat parties, weddings, or anxiety-inducing trips to train stations. 

It was almost like a regular road trip. 

The kind of road trip that Julie had envisioned should we go on the moment she got a car, the kind to take her far, far away from her family and home. 

But funny how the past few days had changed everything. 

The whole time she had been away, she wanted nothing more than to go home, in her living room curled up on the couch with her family. 

And depending how their conversation would go, maybe Luke got to be included in this scenario, strumming his guitar next to her, leading everyone into a round of Christmas songs to maintain the Christmas spirit.

_We’ll see…_

* * *

Julie thanked the lucky stars that Luke ended up in the back with Carlos because that gave her the opportunity to keep texting Emily. 

After she had sent the video, she immediately received rapid-fire responses from the woman which led to Julie reassuring that everything was alright, she was good and Luke was safe and sound and that they were going to be back in L.A soon. 

Then Julie jumped into pitching compromises, at least imploring the woman to find it in her heart to let Luke follow music as a career and to support his choices but at the same time bringing up ideas to which Luke could have some form of stability in order to provide for himself as he worked in the band. 

Emily had been understanding, but mostly relieved that Luke was ok. Julie had a good feeling that she would be more inclined to make things work with her son if he had just come home. 

These texts from Julie seemed like they were the first piece of good news regarding her son’s whereabouts. 

She had made Emily promise not to drive up and meet them, that she would try to get Luke to come home on his own accord, but she could tell the anticipation of having Luke back was getting to her. 

Julie was able to snap a candid picture of Luke and Carlos playing on his phone in the backseat and send it to Emily. 

That had calmed her down. Seeing her son probably for what it seemed like the first time in forever. 

_Wish me luck,_ was the last thing she sent Emily before the car rolled onto a charging station. 

She was for sure going to need it if she was going to try and convince Luke to talk to his mom. 

They all piled out and Luke pulled Reggie aside so he could show him how to charge the car. Julie accompanied Carlos to the nearest bathroom and she was able to check in with him.

Not really with his emotional state but inspecting his appearance, asking him if he was hungry or if he needed more water they could pick up before going on the road again. 

She could tell Carlos was somewhat unnerved by this sudden and overbearing display of concern. Only two days ago, Julie wouldn’t give him the time of day and now she was acting like a helicopter parent. 

He responded to her questions but practically escaped into the bathroom once she was done grilling him. 

Yeah, she needed to refine her approach when it comes to talking to the two stubborn boys in her life. 

She relieved herself in the Ladies bathroom and splashed some water on her face to wash away the remnants of her 6 hour drive. 

She walked out of the bathrooms to find Carlos having already run back to the car to hang out with the guys. 

Julie was well on her way to join them when her phone decided to ring. Thinking it was Emily, she hung back.

But when she took out her phone and checked the caller ID, it wasn’t Emily Patterson trying to reach her. 

But Julie knew she had no choice but to answer the person’s call anyway. 

She tapped the green button, “Carrie, hey...”

_“Oh my god! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you forever!”_

Julie held the phone away from her, grimacing at the other girl’s piercing, distraught tone. 

“Yeah… I know, I know-”

_“Like I left you a hundred messages! Across social platforms! And Nick had no clue and Kayla was totally useless-”_

“I’m sorry, Carrie, it’s just-

_“You’re not… mad at me or anything? Are you?”_

The question threw her off. “No. Why would I be?” 

_“Oh.. ok,”_

There was a tone shift, once previously suspicious now, after a sigh (of relief?) Carrie kept rattling off before Julie could investigate any further. 

_“Just checking. It’s just… not like you to not respond...”_

“Yeah. Just been a…” she caught sight of Luke monitoring the charge levels of their stolen Tesla, with Reggie leading leg stretch exercises to curb the numbness he and Carlos had felt from sitting for too long. 

She shut her eyes. 

“... a weird past couple of days,” 

_“I know right? Me too. Tahoe was, like, a total bust,”_

“Really?” 

_“Yeah. Soooo not my scene,”_

Bobby’s statement checked out. Julie couldn’t see Carrie fully enjoying herself at a ski lodge either, even with spa included. The spotty reception would have killed her… 

It made her wonder why she would even go to such a place. Carrie had said her dad forced her to go on this trip with him, but it was hard to picture Carrie even respecting an ounce of Trevor Wilson’s authority. She often did her own thing anyway… 

_“Anyway, just wanted to let you know our post-Christmas get together is still on since I’m coming back early. At my place as usual,”_

Right, the annual Carrie Wilson & Friends post-Christmas hangout. It was a more casual affair, unlike the party that would have been thrown at the same mansion only days before.

It was inner circle only, and it was the opportunity to catch up and show off what everyone got for Christmas. 

Practically just one big flex-session. 

And in matching pajamas, no less, per Carrie’s request. She wanted it to look ‘authentic’ for their group selfie. 

“Sounds great,”

_“You’re coming right?”_

“Wouldn’t miss it.” she forced out, not necessarily thrilled to be going this year.

She was honestly too partied out, and she required two days worth of sleep minimum once this was all over. 

But it was Carrie Wilson. And everyone else was going. People would clearly see something was up and would assume that she and Carrie had beef or something. 

Every little detail was a statement. 

She wouldn’t want to invite that drama onto herself, especially in the aftermath of the craziest 48 hours of her life. 

_“Great! Be sure to bring your haul and pajamas but besides that…”_ Then Julie waited through the particulars of the event until she could find an appropriate place to duck out. 

She ended up spacing out. 

_“... Julie? Julie!”_

Julie snapped out of it, “I’m here! I was listening. I swear!” 

_“Hmmm..”_ Carrie hummed, unamused, “ _So...are you?”_

“Am I what?”

_“Are you bringing Brad… right? To the hangout?”_

“Uh. About that-” 

Hands wrapped around her waist, making her jump and the familiar “We’re all ‘fueled’ up, boss” crept close to her ear that it filtered through to the other end of the call. 

_“Uh, who’s that?”_

“No one!” was Julie’s knee-jerk reaction.

Carrie might as well have been at this charging station from the way she leapt out of Luke’s embrace in a blink of an eye, sweeping the area around them.

“L-Listen, I gotta go. See you in a couple days!”

 _“Ok. Bye, Julie,”_ she stressed, her voice wary, _“Merry chri-!”_

She hung up before Carrie could finish. 

Spinning on her heel, she was met with a quiet Luke. 

His eyes kept darting between her face and her phone, his lips compressed to a thin, hard line. 

He knew very well who she had been calling. 

_No one, huh?,_ He seemed to want to say. 

Shit. 

She didn’t mean it like that. 

Hurt flickered in his hazel eyes and he pushed past her without a word. 

Once the car was finished charging, Luke dragged Reggie towards the passenger seat and he, himself, settled in the driver’s seat before Julie could reach for the door. 

“I thought-?” 

“ _I’m_ taking us to Sac,” came the curt reply, Luke having just switched up the driving rotation that had previously agreed on. 

She nodded, “I’ll just take us on the last leg of the trip, I guess.” 

“Yeah. Whatever,” 

“Right,” 

Reggie shot her a sympathetic look from the passenger seat and Carlos was confused as to why Julie was sitting in the back instead of Reggie. 

But she did without complaint. 

Because she knew she screwed up.

* * *

Julie didn’t know exactly why she denied Luke’s existence to Carrie. 

Maybe she could have said ‘Oh, it’s Luke’ and then leave it off at that. 

Although the hanging up abruptly on Carrie would have still very much happened. 

And that was so not good. 

It had happened instinctively too. Like that was her first thought, that she could absolutely not be seen with Luke. 

Like she would die if Carrie ever found out that not only she was hanging out with Luke but that they were also toeing the line between friends and something else. 

It was like talking to Carrie flipped that switch. And all of the sudden her priorities shifted back to her and her reputation. It made her want to throw on her skirt and stockings back on before they got back home. 

It seemed as they near L.A, reality was there on their tail, ready to pop that bubble that Julie and Luke created back in Seattle. All of those factors that kept them apart that had magically disappeared were looming overhead. 

It was so easy to say that she didn’t care if people saw her and Luke rolling around in the park kissing if said park was hundreds of miles away from her friends who could stumble upon them. 

It was so easy to wear these roomier, comfier clothes, if no one would be able to recognize her wearing it in the first place, not with her natural hair out and her makeup off. 

Julie couldn’t just go back to how things were before the breakup. She had this life that she made for herself that was comfortable. And fun. 

Yeah, she had come to the realization that her friends were shallow and have been lowkey influencing her decisions, but they were her crowd for 3 years. She was still fond of them and couldn’t imagine finishing off high school without them. 

But what was supposed to happen? 

Was she going to bring Luke to all these functions now? Him in his cut offs and baggy jeans in somewhere like Carrie Wilson’s mansion? Everyone else keeping chill conversations when all he wants to do is jam out and incite music-related rants? 

He would end up breaking something expensive and irreplaceable before the night’s out for sure. 

She couldn’t see it, how she could fuse her two worlds together. 

But there had to be a way, right?

Julie needed to explain this to Luke somehow, that she needed time to think and plan it out if this was going to work. That she needed to meld these different parts of herself- the part of herself that loved being with Luke and the part of herself that also wanted to hold onto her comfortable position as part of Los Feliz elite. 

It didn’t mean she was embarrassed by him, but more she was afraid for him. 

Inner circle would definitely not take to him being a part of the group so lightly. They would not make it easy for him to hang out with them. 

As if Luke cared. 

But she did.

She wanted Luke to hang out with her and that meant hanging out with her friends too. And she wanted them to like Luke and see how great of a guy he was despite the packaging. 

He did promise that they were going to talk, and she would make sure they would talk. 

They had reached the last 4 hours of the journey and Julie had practically bullied Luke to hand over his position in the driver’s seat.

He had originally gone for the backseat, but Reggie beat him to it. And whenever he tried to slide in to make it three passengers in the back, Reggie propped his legs up, citing that he needed the foot space… for medical reasons. 

She made a grateful expression towards the bassist, who she had told during their pitstop to do whatever it takes to force Luke into the passenger seat.

Reggie had been down for it, probably suffocating from this tension in the air and he would do anything to help diffuse it. 

Her plan would be to warm him up with conversation on the way back down, and once they were back home, Reggie and Carlos could go ahead into the house and then they would have their talk. 

But just in case he tried to flee, she knew how to lock the car from the inside. 

That was the plan, and so far it hadn’t been going as well as she hoped. 

She would start up a conversation with him, and he would give her basic answers. None of the wild hand gestures or tapping of his foot that meant that he was invested with what the other person was saying. 

He sat there, scrolling on his phone. He hadn’t so much as looked at her since before Sacramento. 

She had try to even use music to her advantage. 

Back in the driver’s seat, she took a page of Luke’s book and had asserted her stereo rights.

Phone connected, she blasted songs she knew he would like, having found a playlist that she would want to save for later if this worked. 

And it hadn’t. 

It had gotten the toe tapping going and him murmuring the lyrics to himself, but Luke wasn’t stupid. He was aware of what she was trying to do, and he was not going to give her the satisfaction of acknowledging the music beyond what he was doing right now. 

As a last ditch resort, she brought up _Sunset Curve_ ’s stuff on Youtube. 

He snapped to attention, and Julie thought she finally got through to him. But then he ordered her to turn it off. 

“Wha-?” 

_“Everyone SHUT UP!”_

This silenced Carlos and Reggie playing 'Among Us' in the back as well. 

Luke showed Julie his phone. 

Text message from Alex: 

DAD CALL INCOMING

“Dad’s calling!” 

“What?!” Carlos leaned forward in time for Luke to answer the subsequent call rom Alex. 

_“Hello?”_ Ray's cheery voice filled the car. 

“Hey dad!” Julie and Carlos chorused. 

_“Ahh mis niños. Merry Christmas Eve!”_

Holy shit.

It was Christmas Eve. 

Julie couldn’t sneak a glance at Carlos, too preoccupied with driving at the moment, but that tidbit came quite a shock to her brother as well. 

Carlos recovered to shoot him back with: “Merry Christmas Eve to you too!” 

_“Everything okay over there?”_

“Everything’s fine. Just fine!” Julie hoped her dad couldn’t hear her lying through her teeth, “What about you?”

_“The shoot went great. It was kind of hectic so sorry for not being able to call you yesterday,”_

They heard loud voices on their dad’s end, and Julie wanted so badly to shut up Alex, Bobby (and/ or Willie) if that was them in the background. 

_“Watcha both been up to?”_

“We’ve been baking _a lot_ of cookies,” 

Carlos’ eyebrows cinched together, but he ran with it, “Yeah. Like a lot!” 

_“Will there be some waiting for me and your tía? Because I have some good news,”_

“What- what is it?” 

_“I was able to catch an earlier flight so instead of getting there tonight, I’ll be there in just some hours. Isn’t that great?”_

Everyone in the car stopped breathing. 

That was not good news. 

That so was not good news. 

“That is great! So great!” Julie fought to keep her voice level even though she wanted to cry, “You’re coming home!” 

_“I’m at the airport right now actually, so I need to go board right about now. Can’t wait to see you both in, like, three-ish hours? Love you,”_

Carlos answered for her, she was too panicked to even talk. 

“Love you too!”

The call ended. 

And that was when the video call started. 

Luke numbly swiped to answer, still stricken in a state of shock. 

They were greeted with a pacing Alex on the runway, but this time in the Molinas’ living room. 

“Oh my god. Oh my god. _Oh my god!_ ” 

“Took the words right out of my mouth, Alex!” Julie cried, her fingers a scary shade of pale from how tight they were curled around the wheel,

“Our house better be clean or I swear to God-” 

“We’re-” There was a loud clatter off screen, “we’re working on it right now, Julie!” Bobby smiled but it didn’t do much to alleviate her stress levels. 

“Uh… where do you guys keep the mops?” 

Alex looked towards the direction of the voice, “Julie, Willie is wondering where you keep-”

“Closet! With the washer and dryer!” 

“Thanks!” And Alex was off, presumably to retrieve them for Willie. She did not want to think about what had to be cleaned up that required mopping. 

“Just… make sure there’s no trace of you guys anywhere in that house!” 

“Don’t make it too clean! Leave a bag of chips on the couch,” Carlos threw in, “Dad keeps telling me not to eat there. But I never listen to him,” 

“Thank you, Carlos!” she said, not exactly finding his input to be useful, “I’m gonna try getting us there soon. Bye!” And with one hand she ended the call on Luke’s phone. 

Julie inhaled deeply. 

She had a bad idea. But at this rate, where they were on the map, and how much time their dad gave them before he came home- they weren’t going to make it. 

She told everyone to buckle up. 

“Jules, what are you-?”

Then she floored it. 

_“Woah!”_ Luke flew back into his seat, the others grabbing on for dear life. 

Julie’s insides were pushed far back as well, and she was queasy watching the speedometer rise to speeds that she had never driven before. This was _so_ not how she would like to do things!

Luke stared at her as if she had just undergone a complete mental breakdown. 

_“Speed Racer, what the hell?!”_

She wove through the lanes, aiming for the ones with fewer cars, but it was a Christmas Eve afternoon that didn’t leave much room for lane switching. But still, there was enough room for her to zoom on in at least one lane. 

“You said I drive too slow! Wouldn't it hurt to pick up the pace?” 

“But you’re going way too fast!” 

“We have to go fast!” 

Reggie chuckled, “like Sonic.” 

_Now is not the time, Reginald!_

Luke, for the first time, was not encouraging her brash behavior, his hands gripping the sides of the car, tugging on his seatbelt.

“Julie, you better stop-” 

“I can't, Luke!” 

“I’m serious! You better stop or-” 

Red and blue flashed behind them. 

“-or that,” Luke punched the dashboard in a rage, “ _That_ would happen…!” 

* * *

“License and registration?” 

Luke had fumbled through the compartments to find Brad’s registration, which was so not a good look for them. Julie had forked over her license, and she knew how they looked to the officer. 

None of them looked like they could own a Tesla. 

The officer had gone back to his patrol car to verify everything, leaving Julie to fall apart in the driver’s seat. She was pretty much hyperventilating- 

_This was bad. This was bad, This was really, really bad!_

Luke squirmed in his seat, he tried to lay a hand on her shoulder, “Okay, Jules, just calm down,”

“Oh no. No. No!” She flinched from the contact. It set her off.

“You do not get to tell me to calm down! What is my dad going to say? Coming home to two, well I guess now three, teenage boys with his kids nowhere in sight!?”

“The boys will scatter once they see him pull up,”

“Will they? Oh my god!” 

She was on the verge of tears, the thoughts of impending doom were raced in her mind, all very anxiety-inducing, crippling so that she was planted so deep into her seat, the officer would have to pry her off if he were to come back and handcuff her. 

Oh god. 

They were gonna get arrested, weren’t they?

They were so majorly in trouble how could they not be arrested?!

What was gonna happen to Carlos? Her heart squeezed at the image of Carlos getting handcuffed. Would they have to take him to jail too?-

Woah, okay. She clearly wasn’t thinking straight. She hadn’t been thinking straight! If she had then they wouldn’t have been caught by the cops! 

“We should have left for home earlier,” she tried to rationalize, trying not to put the blame on herself because she would just not live with that guilt,

“Maybe we shouldn’t have done the diner, just gone to a gas station-” 

Luke was quick to call her out on it. “Really? That’s what you’re thinking? As if that was gonna change things! Your dad sprung this surprise on us and we were doing our best. But you just had to speed-!”

“I’m trying to save our asses!”

 _“Our-?”_ he coughed out, “No. _You’re_ the one who’s got something to lose if we don’t get back tonight. Not me! He slumped into his seat, crossing his arms, “Just because you don’t wanna risk getting your precious new car-”

“You still think this is about the car?!” Did he think of her that lowly? Even now? _Especially_ now?

“That’s what you care about huh? That and your parties and your rich kid friends and what they think of you. You still do,“ He scowled at her, “You’re too cool to be seen with the likes of me, right?” 

“I can’t believe that’s what you’re hung up on!”

They were going to talk. This was not the place to do it! On the side of the road with a patrol car on their heels. Like really?! 

Julie turned around to look at the back, the others following suit, “He’s looking at the car. God he’s looking at the car-” 

“Um… Julie?” Reggie cleared his throat, “Just curious... how- how did you get this car by the way?” 

“Luke here punched Brad and stole his key,” 

_“What?!”_ Reggie exploded, which earned a harsh shushing from everyone. 

“You punched Brad?” Carlos nodded at Luke, smirking, “Awesome,” 

_“Carlos!”_

“What? I never liked him,” 

“Me neither, kid,” grumbled Luke. 

“ _You_ be quiet!” she turned to the guitarist, “Brad might have reported it stolen and then we’ll be in major trouble! And that’s on you!” 

“Shit!” Luke inwardly groaned, and he grabbed his bruised wrist as if to hide it from the cop. 

Said cop was hunched over the hood of the patrol car, looking between the documents in front of him and their car. He lifted his shades and squinted into the vehicle. 

“Okay. Now he’s looking at me. He’s definitely looking at me-” Luke ducked down, begging for Reggie to toss him his hoodie even though the beanie was wearing did well to conceal his head. 

Right. 

_Julie, we tried everything. put up posters. called the police… -_ Emily had texted her. 

“You’re acting suspicious!” she hissed at him. 

“I am not,” he kept glancing over his shoulder, “He might- he might…argh! You should have slowed down!

“Of course you don’t see my rush! Since coming home to a worried parent is never your priority,”

“Julie-” Reggie warned, eyes wide. 

Luke waved off his friend’s concern, “No, go on, Julie. You obviously have more to say about something that’s clearly not your business,”

Oh. 

Ok.

Well! If they were doing this here-!

“Don’t worry about getting found out, Luke, because I already talked to your mom-” 

His head hit the ceiling, _“You talked to my mom?!”_

“You need to make up with her before it’s too late! Life is so freakin’ short! Too short to let little things-” 

“This is not a little thing, Julie! It’s my future! It’s my life! It’s my music!” he pointed aggressively into his chest, raising his voice,

“I already apologized for meddling in your business, so can’t you see why _you’re_ totally crossing _my_ boundaries!” 

“I am trying to help you!” 

“I don’t need your help! Look where your ‘helping’ got us! We’re gonna get arrested! And we’ll never get home. And _we,”_ he gestured to Reggie, “won’t make the gig-” 

“And _you_ call _me_ self-absorbed! You’re thinking about the gig-!” 

“Me and the boys worked our asses off to land it! Something you don’t understand because you haven’t-” 

“What? Haven’t played?” she jutted her head forward, challenging, “You know exactly why I haven’t!” 

“Julie-”

She kept going, “Because my mom died and I’ll never get to talk to her ever again. But you- your mom is still alive! And you’re ok! But you just- you choose not to talk to her when you still can!” 

Luke’s jaw tightened, looking like he had just been slapped in the face. 

“That… that is not fair, Julie. You can’t just compare-!” 

“-Geez, Luke just admit you’re too stubborn and hold too much pride-!” 

“-You don’t even know what the hell even happened, always presumptuous-!” 

“- you always get in your own way, like, just get over it-!” 

“-why don’t you mind your own damn business? Can you handle that-?!” 

“-oh I’ve forgotten just how terrible you can get, Patterson, you little-” 

“-just like you, you stuck- up princess, to think you know everyth-!”

_“GUYS!!”_

Their heads whipped to see Reggie. Hie eyes wide, body trembling. 

“Please,” he begged, “Just p-please stop.” 

Shit. 

Julie’s shoulders sank and felt instantly terrible. Luke’s eyes softened, withdrawing his head from where he almost contentiously bumped into Julie’s. 

How she and Luke were screaming at each other just now, it must have looked like- 

“Christ. Reg, I’m-” he reached for his friend, but that was when the cop walked back to the car. 

Everyone faced forward and tried to act natural, somehow, as if the whole car wasn’t a pressure cooker that had just blown up. 

The cop bent over to Julie’s open window and handed her back the documents, “Letting you off with a warning ma'am. But please, slow down next time.” 

“Officer-?” 

The man eyed Carlos in the back seat, “Just… just get back home. Alright? Merry Christmas.” 

Julie let out a breath. She nodded at him, “Thank you. Merry Christmas.”

The officer waved them off and drove away. 

Julie collapsed into the seat. 

So there was no threat. 

No handcuffs. No jail time. No missing persons call. 

They panicked for nothing. 

There was no need to get worked up. 

But it was too late. 

Words have been said, blows were traded, and now she and Luke refused to look at each other. 

Back to square one. They left for the trip hating each other’s guts and they were coming back the same. 

The bubble had officially popped. 

And they didn’t have to be back in L.A for that to happen… 

* * *

No one spoke for the rest of the ride back to the Molinas’ residence. 

Julie drove at regular speed and they made it back in accordance with their ETA. Whatever leg up she had while she was speeding, she lost with their encounter with the cop. 

So it was a surprise to no one when they pulled up to her house and there was already a car parked out front. 

“That’s my tía’s car,” Carlos confirmed. 

She would have picked their dad from the airport. 

Great. 

They were dead. They were so dead. 

A shitty end to an even shittier day. 

Once Julie parked the Tesla behind her tía’s car, everyone, at a snail’s pace, left the car with their respective plastic bags of belongings and food in tow. 

Julie had expected this would be the part where Luke and Reggie would take their leave, abandon Julie and Carlos to face their family’s wrath. 

But then she remembered- Alex and Bobby. 

They had to make sure they got out okay. 

There was the chance they could walk in on them, and Willie, on the couch getting a shrill talking-to courtesy of her tía with her dad probably on the phone with the police to report three teenagers squatting in his home. 

They were not going to leave their boys behind. 

They were all in this together. 

Julie and Carlos huddled together subconsciously, bracing themselves for whatever was waiting for them behind that door.

Inserting the key and turning it, she braved looking at Luke for what could be the last time. 

His stare was fixed on the door, expression guarded. No hint of any of the happy times they had spent together on this trip anywhere on his face, in his gait- nothing. 

After all they had been through. It ended in the only way they knew how: In an explosive dumpster fire of a fight. 

This time with casualties. 

Reggie had his arms crossed while they stood on the porch, but it was more akin to hugging himself. Luke was rubbing his back soothingly, but he was still tense. 

All of them were. 

She figured no use in prolonging this agonizing moment any further. She had to bite the bullet and open the goddamn door. 

It clicked, and they stepped through, dawdling into the foyer with bated breaths. They heard voices in the living room, and they forced their feet to move in that direction. 

All four of them stopped at the entryway, their presence now known by the people in the room. 

Julie tore her eyes away from the top of Carlos’ head to meet her father, anticipating that look of disappointment he had shown her before he had left. 

But no. 

That wasn’t the sight that welcomed her. 

It was her dad and tía, holding mugs of what seemed to be eggnog (laced with alcohol no doubt), laughing with each other in front of the mantle. 

Her dad and her tía? Laughing? Enjoying each other’s company? 

Julie for a second believed this was a dream, that she could still be passed out on Luke’s shoulder in the backseat of the Tesla like earlier this morning and none of this, or what happened with the cop, was real. It would all be in her head. 

Her imagination was wild. But not that wild. 

Because even her imagination could not come up with what may be the most surreal part of this whole experience. 

It wasn’t her just dad and her tia in the living room. There on the couch, laughing and nursing his own mug of eggnog (straight), was none other than-

_“Brad?!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLIFFHANGER!
> 
> I just got the title from the book. 
> 
> I'm assuming that's where they were when they were driving back. 
> 
> again. no accuracy in this story. at all. 
> 
> love you guys


	15. Molina Household Part II

Chapter 15 ‘Molina Residence Part II’

“Brad?” 

_Please let me be dreaming._

Julie curled her fist instinctively at the sight of him, intending to drag her fingernails against her palms and elicit a great enough amount of pain to get her to wake. the. fuck. up. 

She wanted to refute this, to chalk it off as something beyond the stretch of reality because her cheater of a boyfriend could not be casually sipping eggnog in good company with her family, who she assumed had no clue to his recent transgressions. 

Though the faint purpling around his right eye would have made for a very interesting story… 

The blonde brightened at the sound of her voice. He ran a hand through his already windswept hair- (geez, overdoing the blowdryer much?) and set the mug down on the coaster before approaching her with open arms. 

“Hey babe, back so soon?” He pecked her on the cheek and his arm snaked around her waist, tugging her flush against his side. She was surprised how much she didn’t recoil at his touch. Even though she so badly wanted to. 

But her father and aunt were watching them with warm expressions on their faces, and Brad was working that million-dollar smile that he had perfected to get him out of trouble. 

Julie couldn’t tell if it was directed towards her or her family. 

She was more stunned than anything to be honest, cautiously wading the waters of how this situation would play out.

She had no idea what Brad had told them, if this was all a ruse and that they were waiting for her to let her guard down and bust her for being out of the house. 

In her peripheral, Luke visibly stiffened at the gesture. His eyes narrowed at Brad’s arm coiled around her and he was curling his fists for a different reason. 

Julie wanted to look at him, wanted to reach for him, to retreat to the safety that was Luke’s arms. But both her family’s attention on them and the sharp words they had exchanged prevented her from doing so. 

As far as her family knew, depending on what Brad had said, she had been in this house for the past two days and not driving with Luke, reconnecting with him. And as far as they knew Brad was still her loving and doting boyfriend. 

She couldn’t take it anymore, and she moved her head towards the boy’s direction for a fraction of a second just in time for his gaze to veer away from Brad’s hold on her to her face. 

A raise of the inner corner of his brows and the clenching of his jaw- 

It had been the same face he made when he noticed Brad engaged in a lip lock at the frat party. Julie could only imagine it was the same face he made when he threw a punch at him too. 

It was that protective instinct that arose, despite being still furious at her. 

Julie took solace in the fact that he was so concerned, probably restraining himself from ripping Brad’s arm off her and kicking him out of the house. 

That meant he still cared… 

“Dad. Tía,” she greeted, her voice small. 

Carlos repeated after her. This would have been the part where he would run up and hug the both of them, but even he was rooted to the spot, scrutinizing them for any signs of a confrontation on the horizon. 

Her dad reclined in his chair, mug secure in both of his hands. Nothing out of the ordinary in his smile. He beckoned for Carlos to come over and the kid took it as a cue to start acting normal. He fell against their dad’s side, hugging him. 

Ray ruffled his hair, then placed the back of his hand against Carlos’ forehead, “Is everything alright?” 

Carlos’ eyes widened and he looked to Julie. _What is he talking about?_

“I was just telling your dad and aunt that you had to duck out and get some medicine for Carlos,” Brad cleared up, “He’s been feeling a bit under the weather, right?” his hand on Juile’s shoulder tightened, and she honestly felt like she was in a hostage situation. 

Her fingers twitched. 

She wanted Luke. 

The boy, as if sensing her thoughts, tried to move closer to her but Reggie had a grip on the back of his jacket, not letting him risk their cover. 

Ray hummed, “I found it interesting, seeing as though Julie wasn’t supposed to leave the house,” he gave her a pointed stare, but none of the heat that would have indicated she was in any trouble. 

“But if it’s to get something, I don’t see anything wrong with going real quick,” Victoria cut in sweetly, and Julie’s jaw pretty much dropped. 

Her hardass aunt? Being lenient? 

Her aunt was in the highest of spirits, and Julie knew that this woman had been working to the bone these past few days at the hospital, so there was no way this happened on its own accord. 

But she saw the way she was shooting approving smiles in Brad’s direction, and that was when she remembered that he had a knack for charming the pants off any adult. 

The many times that he had used his attractive white boy next door looks to talk his way out of speeding tickets or to elicit free desserts whenever they went out to restaurants… 

And it had totally worked on her aunt. 

Victoria closed in on her and Brad, gripping her chin like how she would to say ‘There’s my brave girl’. 

“He must have gotten it from Julie. I was here yesterday and she didn’t seem to be feeling well. Aw, _mi pobrecita_ ,” she cooed before releasing her. 

Julie swallowed a snide laugh. _More like you were fooled with a tall white boy in my robe yesterday…aren’t you a freakin’ nurse?!_

Speaking of which, where was Alex? 

Or Bobby? Or Willie? 

The house, or the first floor from what she could see, was spotless. (Except for an opened bag of chips on the couch- nice touch). They had kept their word and tidied up so that there was no trace of three teenage boys having been there. Well, apart from the cookies of course. 

Victoria laid a hand on Brad’s forearm, as if he were family, and she could hear Luke huff indignantly. She had never once done that for him while he had been dating Julie. 

She wondered if her tía would be as welcoming if she knew that Brad had cheated on her. She was tempted to let it slip just so she could see her kick him out of the house herself. Maybe even leaving him worse than Luke had. 

Instead, she kept quiet, struggling to keep her side-eying to a minimum. 

“And I should thank you, Brad. For lending _mi sobrina_ the car,” 

“Well, I would have run the errand myself, but I didn’t feel comfortable going on the road. Uh, as you can see-” he scratched his bad eye, “I’m still recovering from an injury,” 

“Aw, bud,” Luke couldn’t help himself but say with fake concern, half-smirking when Brad flinched at the sound of his voice, “What happened?” 

“I, uh, bumped into something,” he stumbled, subconsciously moving himself (and Julie) tad towards the right, distancing from Luke. Almost like a precautionary measure. 

_“More like something bumped into you,”_ Reggie muttered under his breath. 

Luke slipped him a sly high-five from behind his back. 

“Luke. Reggie. This is a surprise,” Ray got up, and Carlos ran back to Julie’s side, probably not having it in him at the moment to play sick in front of their dad. 

He friendly regarded the two boys, who immediately straightened up after torturing Brad a little bit, and Julie could see Reggie reverting to a chipper version of himself. 

“Hey Ray!” 

“Hi,” Luke waved, the first time in a while since he had seen her dad. Ever since the breakup. 

For a second, Julie thought that he would get caught, that Ray would be reaching for the phone and calling the Pattersons to let them know, ‘hey, I have your son’.

But apparently they hadn’t been in more recent contact than she thought because he merely shook Luke’s hand upon seeing him again after all these years. 

Then all of the sudden Carlos let out a gasp, only audible to her and Brad. 

“Um…” Carlos swatted her in the stomach repeatedly, a scared tilt in his voice, “Julie?” 

She leaned down, eyes trained between her dad and Luke, “Yeah?” 

“Feet,” he whispered. 

“What?” 

Then she was being dragged down lower to his level, and with hands on her chin once more, he jerked it in the direction of the living room window, _“Feet!”_ he repeated in hushed urgency. 

Oh my god. 

A pair of sneakers were in view, dangling from above- possibly the first level roof. 

Someone was on the freakin’ roof! 

There was more movement and suddenly Bobby broke through the bushes, head pointed skywards, hands beckoning for whoever was on the roof to jump down. 

He turned his head and saw Carlos, Julie, and Brad staring at him with wide eyes and gaping mouths. 

His shoulders slumped, hands now gripping his hair. Then he mouthed something: 

_‘Shit!’_

Yes, of course shit! Julie thought they had left already! 

They must have been caught by Brad earlier and split, maybe someone- Alex, most likely, had made the mistake of escaping upstairs.

Luckily, her dad and tía had their backs towards the window and were oblivious to why the kids were suspiciously frozen. 

“Yeah, no, it’s been a-,” Luke broke off, marking the moment when he too noticed Alex’s cargo pants and sneakers swinging around. 

Reggie choked at the sight and Luke had to hold his hand to keep him from visibly freaking out. 

“...a minute,” Luke had ripped his gaze away from the window and smiled all too politely at Ray, who didn’t notice the blip in his sentence. 

Ray made a move to turn towards his chair- 

“Dad! Uh, how was your trip?” Carlos broke out. 

Ray remained at a 45 degree angle, slowing his pivot, “Oh, I shouldn’t have to get into it again. I was already telling Brad here-” 

Brad cleared his throat, “I don’t mind it if you tell it again, Mr. Molina.” 

And everyone murmured in agreement. Probably the one time they all agreed to take after Brad’s lead. Clearly, he didn’t want them to get caught either. 

It didn’t make Julie trust him again though. 

While Ray, whose back was towards the window, recounted the details of his work trip, back outside, there seemed to be progress.

Julie could see more of one leg, but at the rate it revealed itself made her think that Alex was terrified to fully make the jump and was trying to lower himself down as best he could. 

Now Willie came onto the scene, arriving from behind the house and appeared to be coaching Alex through it. Bobby kept waving his arms erratically, gesturing out into the street, possibly trying to get him to hurry it up before they got caught. 

Julie and everyone else inside nodded along to what her dad was saying, making noises at appropriate times, Reggie even butting in to ask questions. 

(Julie was sure that it wasn’t even to stall him and that the boy was actually curious about her dad’s line of work). 

But then they heard a _BUMP_ , and Carlos stomped his feet and coughed to drown it out. 

And the next thing Julie knew, a blur of pink swarmed her vision and now Alex, full body in view, had slipped and now was hanging on for dear life, fingers hooked onto the gutters. 

Reggie let out a yelp and Luke had to clamp his mouth shut. Ray stared at them oddly, but continued the story nonetheless, probably used to both their antics over the years and didn’t question it. 

Julie wanted to cover her eyes, especially seeing how Alex’s face was contorted into one of pure fear, mouth wide open, maybe screaming but they couldn't hear.The other two boys had jumped into action, now directly below Alex in an attempt to catch him. 

While Julie was trying hard to pretend to be interested in what her dad was saying, she was having a hard time trying to pretend that Alex wasn’t out there, risking his neck, just to cover their tracks.

She almost called it off right there just to run out and grab the ladder or something. 

But Brad kept a good grip on her, reminding her what was at stake. 

Oh god, she hoped they could catch him… 

Victoria had finished her eggnog, “Now that was delicious. Ray, I’m just going to go ahead and put these in the sink...” she was on her way to collect the other mugs, and once she grabbed Brad’s off the desk, about to turn the long way towards the kitchen

 _“NO!”_ Luke shouted, giving everyone in the room a heart attack (as if that was possible- Julie had already suffered through two just by watching Alex helplessly). 

Victoria narrowed her eyes at him but stilled, about to lecture him on using his ‘indoor voice’. 

“I mean, lemme get these for you, Ms. Sanchez,” he snatched the mugs out of her hands and hurried off in the other direction towards the kitchen. 

Victoria nodded, unimpressed, but followed him, cutting through the kids still amassed at the entryway, “It took you 10 years to call me Ms. Sanchez, eh. Lucas?” 

“And you have yet to call me Luke. How have you been, tía?” he said, back to calling her tía even though Victoria would correct him countless times over the years. (“I am not _your_ tía”). 

Julie could hear them in the kitchen, catching up while Luke went the extra mile and began washing the mugs. Her tía was currently critiquing his excessive water usage while he cleaned them. 

Luke really be out here putting himself in harm’s way by interacting with her aunt, something that grated his soul. 

The Navy Seals could never. 

The two came back (from the long way) to the living room as Ray wrapped up his story. 

“Now enough about me. Luke, Reggie, what brings you over?”

“Uh, well, you see…” Reggie stretched out slowly, his mind obviously outside with the rest of his friends, trying to save Alex, “I have… a present! For Carlos!”

“That’s lovely of you. You can just put it under the tree. It’s not really decorated, but…” he gestured to the tree in the opposite corner, “It still does the job, right?”

“It’s perfect Mr. Molina-er, Ray,” Reggie assured, and that made Julie smile, knowing how her dad was self-conscious about how they ‘celebrated’ Christmas in the house since mom. 

There was silence where Ray and Victoria stared at Reggie expectantly. 

“Oh! Right!” Reggie made a show of patting himself down, looking around, “Luke, didn’t we leave it at Bobby’s?” he feigned forgetfulness. 

Luke had rejoined his side, playing along, “Aww, _what?_ We’ve been walking over here and this whole time we left it there?” 

“Crazy!” 

“Oh you!” Luke playfully budged him. 

Reggie laughed boisterously, “Oh me!” 

BUMP

Alex’s swinging form hit the side of the house in his frantic movements. 

“What is that?” Ray craned his head- 

“Wait! Actually, it’s here! I have the present!!” Julie exclaimed, lifting her plastic bag. She matched Reggie’s gaze, “It’s just-” 

“It’s just...?” Victoria repeated, confused. 

“Not wrapped!” 

Then Julie shoved the bag into Reggie’s awaiting hands who then shoved it into Carlos’ hands. 

“Uh, here? Merry Christmas!” 

Carlos reached in and out came Flynn’s slippers that Julie had saved since Seattle. 

“Dinosaur slippers?” Ray asked, never aware that Carlos had or was currently going through a dinosaur phase. 

“Thanks, Reggie...” Carlos plastered on a smile, “It’s… just what I wanted.” 

The bassist nodded, poking at the slippers, “Sorry, they’re… damp?”

They were still wet from when Julie had to tread in the snow… Whoops. 

THUD

And outside, Alex fell, landing on the ground. Maybe on his back. Ouch. 

Now _that_ got Ray and Victoria’s attention. They turned around, and everyone behind them shooed Bobby, the only one still visible, and he ducked down behind the bushes. 

Finding nothing wrong, they faced everyone again, and the group breathed a collective sound of relief. 

Well, as close to relief as they could manage, what with Alex’s fate still unknown. 

“Right. That was strange. Do you guys wanna stay for dinner? Or have an early dessert? Apparently, Julie and Carlos made a lot of cookies,” Ray offered. 

“We've gotta get going soon. But I’ll go use the bathroom if you don’t mind,” Luke piped up, and with one last lingering gaze at her and Brad, he escaped into the powder room. 

“I’ll just-” Reggie threw the door open, “I’ll just wait for him. Outside. Uh- Merry Christmas! Bye!” And he ran out of the house so fast. 

Later, Julie could see Reggie through the living room window, helping Alex to his feet along with Willie, who (hopefully) had caught the drummer it seemed.

He pulled Bobby from out of the bushes and the band, almost all reunited, took off towards the street. 

Thank god _that_ was over. Those 5 minutes watching Alex almost die was more stressful than her two days’ worth of adventures combined. 

“I’ll be heading out soon too,” Brad finally dropped his arm, freeing Julie. 

Victoria frowned, “Aww, please stay Brad.” 

“No, I need to come home. Gotta help my grandmother prep the ham,” 

“How sweet,” Victoria gushed. 

Julie almost reared her head at Brad. 

Bullshit! She knew for a fact that both of his grandmothers had passed. She was appalled at how easily he could just lie to charm her aunt. 

Then she realized, lying came so easy to him. Out of all of them in the living room just now, he had been the least conspicuous. 

The boy could lie in his sleep. 

That notion nearly sent her spinning. She had never thought that she would be the one to fall prey to it, but she was just as susceptible to his lies as her aunt and every other adult he wanted to get in the good graces of. 

And that was why he was here, wasn’t it? He was trying to get back into her good graces. That was what this whole thing was about. Him covering for her, covering for the guys- as if that would make up for hurting so badly. 

Would he dare? And he knew that she couldn’t exactly break things off right then and there, not without him blowing the whistle on how she had come to find out he had been cheating. 

Would he? Would he tell her family if she broke up with him? 

That terrified her, but the way her dad and tía were so happy, telling them would ruin their Christmas- she couldn’t risk it. 

“It should be. We’re gonna honey glaze it,” Brad’s joke and her aunt’s chortles snapped her out of her intrusive thoughts. 

Dazedly, Julie led Brad to the door as she would normally but albeit at a faster pace, wanting him out of her face so he couldn’t outright threaten her. Before she could open it, he invaded her space, coming in close to her ear. 

“Babe, the key?” 

Trembling fingers, she took it out her pocket. 

“I forgive you by the way,” he had the audacity to whisper, taking the key back. He sneaked in another peck on the cheek, “We’ll talk later, right?” 

Her family was still watching. They needed to keep up appearances. 

She swallowed hard, her eyes cold, “Yeah.” 

Brad grinned, then he addressed her family. 

“See ya everybody! And Carlos, my main man-” He clapped her brother on the back, sending him almost tumbling forward. Carlos sent him a nasty look unbeknownst to everyone else. It didn’t faze Brad at all, “Merry Christmas!” 

Her dad and tía returned the jolly farewell, and Julie couldn’t close the door fast enough as soon as he left. 

By then, Luke had already been out of the bathroom. She hadn’t noticed until he emerged from the opposite direction, coming from the living room. 

Hands in his pockets, he lowered his voice, “Reggie?” 

“With the others,” she whispered back, “They made it out.” 

“Good,” 

It was in his stance that told Julie that Luke hadn’t let up from their fight from earlier. He kept a good distance from her, and looked at her almost like an acquaintance rather than someone he had embarked on a life-changing road trip with. 

His hand was on the doorknob, and her own hand almost shot out to keep him from leaving. 

There were so many things she wanted to tell him. She wanted to thank him for everything that he had done to help her get Carlos. She wanted to thank him for bringing music back to her. She wanted to apologize for all the stuff she said in the car. 

But he looked so… tired. 

Tired of the trip? Of the fighting? 

Of her? 

Luke's whole demeanor pleaded with her- _'Don't make this any more painful than it needs to be'_

She let him open the door, though the inner turmoil remained. 

“It’s so good to see you again, Luke,” Ray called out. 

He turned, smiling, but Julie could tell it was strained, “Good seeing you too.” 

Luke nodded at Carlos, a hint of a real smile on his lips. He was probably glad to see that they were able to complete their rescue mission. That this, putting up with her, had all been worth it if Carlos and Reggie were back with no one to know the wiser. 

It was a sobering reminder that her and Luke’s partnership was over. No need to see each other anymore. No need to prolong whatever _this_ was. 

His hazel eyes flashed at hers, and he stepped out. After everything that happened between them, he went quietly. No goodbyes or final words.

God, she’d rather he yelled at her, called her a spoiled princess, rehash all the hurtful things he threw at her back in the car. 

She just wanted to hear his voice one last time. 

And with the same squeeze to her heart that she felt upon regretting to buy the dahlia keychain, Julie forced herself to close the door, put on a smile for her family, and pretend that everything was fine. 

Everything was just… fine. 

* * *

Her tía didn’t stick around for very long. Which was good because otherwise she would have definitely seen through Carlos’ attempts to act sick. And with the flurry of activity and having unexpected guests over, both her dad and tía had totally forgotten about the medicine that she supposedly left the house for. 

The hours had passed swiftly and pretty soon, she, Carlos, and their dad had their Christmas Eve dinner, courtesy of their tía. She had brought over her famous _arroz con pollo_ she had prepared prior to picking up their dad at the airport. 

Their had dad tucked in early immediately after dinner, weary from his flight from earlier. He had bid his children a goodnight and Julie went upstairs not long after and she heard Carlos shuffle to his own room as well. 

Julie laid in bed for hours, unable to sleep. She had changed into her comfiest PJ’s, had the blanket drawn up to her chin and everything- yet she was too overwhelmed to allow her nonsensical sleep schedule from the past 48 hours to reset. 

Nothing felt real anymore. 

Stepping into her room had been a time warp. 

Her room was just as it was when she had left it- the clothes she had set out for what she thought was going to be the biggest party of her life, her journal cracked open from where had thrown it onto her bed after Carlos ratted her out, polaroids of her, her friends, and Brad lining her vanity- 

It was all a monument it seemed, to the old Julie. (Or, the new Julie, really…)

Who even was she anymore? 

Coming back to L.A, she touched on the idea of being able to somehow blend her two selves together because she could never go back, not really, to who she was before mom died. 

It had been all some sort of cognitive dissonance, staring at herself in the vanity after putting her contacts away, wearing the silk pajamas Carrie had given her for her birthday this year. 

Much like the other aspects of her life- nothing was adding up. The solution wasn’t right there in front of her, and was just as lost as she would be in her math class, maybe requiring the assistance of someone like Reggie to show her how to tackle these complicated calculations. 

(The only math concept she could remember off the top of her head was the transitive property, and that was as useless in this situation as she was). 

Here were the different facets to her identity crisis:

The Julie that had befriended Carrie was the Julie that got out of a dark place. And as vain and callous as that version of herself was, she couldn’t deny that it had helped and had served its purpose. 

Caring about her appearance aided her in maintaining personal hygiene, especially on days when her depression post- mom’s death came crashing down on her unexpectedly. She was able to function, get her through those days- it had made her stronger in a way. 

It would make sense that she didn’t want to cut loose the makeup and the short skirts just yet. 

But then again, that Julie lacked passion. She was functioning, but was she really living? Not like how it was when she had been singing. Not like how it was when she had been on stage with Luke. When she didn’t care how she looked, stomping around in her thrifted clothes, that was when she felt the freest. 

_Finally free_ , she mused wryly, _how ironic._

Why was she even sucked into a hole of deep, dark retrospection? Not like she had anything to really worry about. 

She was back home. She and Carlos had gotten away with it. She had taken a huge gamble and it had paid off. 

Julie still had her title, her clique, her picture-perfect boyfriend- 

-but why did she feel like she lost everything? At least something worth losing that wasn’t her reputation or the possibility of a new car. 

Her personal growth seemed to have disappeared once she returned home, with her life, on the surface, seemed to have remained unchanged.

But she could not just return to something so one-dimensional, even if it had been so ignorantly peaceful. 

Her eyes drifted to the small white box on the shelf near her bed: Her dream box, which she rarely opened, filled to the brim with thoughts and lyric ideas- about life, about Luke- 

About mom. 

She wondered what her mom would say about all of this.

Would she be in bed with her, her body nestled into her mom’s, knees on either side, hand in her hair, stroking her curls, whispering words that would ease her mind?

Would she be at her door, yanking her out of bed, telling her to get her shit together and fix the problem? 

Both options were Rose Molina’s specialty. 

Deciding not to wait for someone to summon her out of bed, she tore off her blankets and was off, not to solve her issues necessarily but to just do something other than mope in her room. 

She crept downstairs since it was well into the night, hoping to eat a snack. Maybe she couldn’t sleep on a somewhat empty stomach. 

Rounding the staircase, she startled Carlos on the living room couch. 

“Uh...hey,” she said, diverting her course from the kitchen to sit beside her brother, wondering what he was up to. 

Carlos sat cross-legged in his mismatched pajamas and robe, eyes fixed on the plate of cookies and milk set up for Santa on the coffee table.

Julie couldn’t tell how long he had been down here, maybe hours. From his pose, he appeared to be vigilant, almost standing guard, keeping an eye on the house while everyone slept. 

In the past, he had liked to claim that he was the man of the house (or one of the men of the house, for that matter). 

“Santa’s got a lot of cookies to choose from,” 

Julie nodded, recalling that the guys had made more than enough trays of treats during their absence, “Yeah. He sure does.” 

A cookie materialized out of Carlos’ robe pocket. He took a bite, “Those guys, the ones that were hanging off the roof, not bad bakers...” 

“I think they got a recipe from online,” 

Her brother grunted, “Amateurs. ” 

“Not everyone grew up with the bible of all cookbooks,”

It had been their grandmother’s recipe, on their mom’s side, that they used for their cookies. To them, no other cookie could ever come close. 

An awkward pause formed between the two of them, neither of them knowing how to carry a conversation that wasn’t yelling or being remotely annoying towards each other. 

“Do you remember when tía sprung the whole church potluck on us last minute?” Julie tried, in an attempt to bridge the gap…

“Mom, she could have been furious, but she wasn’t. She went ahead and did it anyway. And I remember we all felt bad so we stayed up all night making cookies for the congregation...” she sighed wistfully, that had been what kickstarted their out of control cookie baking for the holidays, “It was nice. All kinda worth it, right?” 

“No,” Carlos’ hard tone surprised her. 

“Huh?”

“I don’t remember,” 

“Oh,” her eyes dropped to her hands, “You were young though,” 

“Yeah,”

“It was a long time ago,” 

“I know,” 

"...well-"

“Mom died a long time ago,” 

Julie frowned, at the first mention Carlos made about mom and for what he had just said. “It doesn’t… it doesn’t feel like it though,” 

“For _you_ , maybe,” he flicked some crumbs off his lap, his head faced forward, “So what now? We can talk about her again? We’re allowed to now?” he asked, derisively. 

She sighed, reaching for his shoulder, “We always were ‘allowed’-” 

“Then why didn’t you?” He bristled and shrugged her off. Shifting in his seat, he glared at her, “How come you or dad get upset when I even want to do the stuff that mom likes?” 

Julie was on her feet in defense, “It was- it was hard, Carlos!” 

_“It was hard for me too!”_ He pushed himself off the couch, voice raised, squaring up against her, “Did you ever stop to think about that?” 

She did. But too late. Not before this trip she had even considered what Carlos had been through… 

Julie looked wildly around, she made a motion for him to quiet so they wouldn’t wake dad, but that only made him even more mad. After dancing around the topic for years, the dam just about broke- 

“We don’t talk about mom for years! And you just come here, bringing up mom just like that? Asking if I remember? How could I remember if you guys acted like she never existed in the first place? Huh?”

Julie winced, regretting ever bringing it up. How everything she had said was just a slap to the face for him, waving around her memories of mom in front of him while he didn’t have the chance to remember- as if he wasn’t allowed to even think about her without facing backlash from his own family. 

“I wish I remembered, _okay?_ ” 

“I know-” 

Carlos stormed off to the opposite side of the room,“ I just wish I could remember what it used to be like! Like I do, but, it’s so hard!” 

“It is. It so is, Carlos,” She went around the table, but whatever movements she made pushed him further away.

He kept pacing, making rounds, voice trembling as he spoke, each word more frenzied than the last. 

“I can’t- I can’t even…” he blew out a breath, his whole body wracking, heaving, “I wish I could remember what mom sounded like or even looked like!”

Her eyes glistened, god it sounded so painful, hearing him say that. All of this left unsaid, left festering inside him, and he was so young- 

She advanced, and grabbed his waving arms. He fought against her, crying, “No! I don’t want you! I want mom!” 

“I know,” 

Carlos wriggled around in her hold, “I wish I could see her! And talk to her!” 

“I know,” she said, more gentle than the last time. 

“I just wish- I just wish-” Then Carlos stopped, sobs overtaking him and he collapsed against her, the fight having left him- Julie’s arms encased him, and she too was crying,

“-I just wish she was here…”

Oh.

_I wish…_

What Reggie said… about saving Santa… why Carlos wanted to see him.. So he could grant his wish…

He had wanted to bring mom back. 

Christ. 

She thought she took it the hardest, the one who changed drastically out of all three of them, because Carlos was still Carlos. Carlos never lost his appetite for life and all that it had to offer. He had been relatively okay. 

Or so it had seemed. 

She and their dad were barely keeping it together, the mere mention of mom would send them spiraling. It was better not to talk about her at all.

It was easier to forget about her. It was easier to get mad at Carlos, the stable one of the family, for even wanting to learn more about the mother he never had the chance to know for as long as Julie had.

It was easier to act like mom wasn’t on their minds- for their own sake, for Carlos’ sake her dad had said once. 

And every December, the month that she had passed, and every Christmas, the holiday that she loved, the one where she had made special and magical for not only her but for Carlos- was just a painful reminder of all the Decembers and Christmases that he would have to live through without her. 

Oh god, Julie thought, more tears springing from her eyes, Carlos only got 7 years with mom. 

And still, she spent the last 4 years pushing him away- it was almost like he lost his sister too.

They sank to the floor, holding onto each other. Her hands stroked his hair and she rocked him, much like how mom would when he had been a baby.

No matter how utterly broken she felt right now, she needed to be the one doing the comforting for once, to whisper the words that ease the other’s mind. To be what mom had been for her. 

She owed it to Carlos, after what she had put him through. 

“I’m s-sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” she heard him whisper, suddenly ashamed for his display. 

Her neck was damp with Carlos’ tears, and that only pushed her to rock him more, to hold him even tighter. 

“It’s okay,” she kept murmuring, “It’s okay…” 

“I d-didn’t mean it. When- when I said-” 

“I’m not mad,” she affirmed, “I’m not,” 

He sniffled, the worst of the crying had ceased, “Tía says she’s watching over us, but I don’t know… I don’t know.” 

“I… I think it works like how it does with Santa, Carlos. Like you said. He’s as real as you believe him to be. Runs on belief,” she found herself saying, unplanned. But it felt right. 

“I think if you believe she’s here, listening and watching, she is. If you believe it, if you let yourself believe, she’s here. I mean, is there really a difference between mom and Santa? Except mom doesn’t send presents,” she laughed. 

“I wish she did. Not like drones or video games. But, like, something, that tells us that she’s thinking about us. Wherever she is,” 

“Like a sign?” 

“Yeah. I think if there was anything I want for Christmas, it would be that,”

Julie had gone to church enough times and listened to her tía’s spiels about the beyond, about how the Lord worked in mysterious ways but how people, prophets, would encounter signs and feel the call from something greater and more powerful than anything they could ever understand. 

She hadn’t given it much thought before, having dropped going to mass ever since mom died.

But picturing her mom up there in the clouds, maybe as an angel, leaving them little messages embedded in everything, it made her want to believe in such things again. 

“I’m scared since we don’t do anything… we don’t talk about her, that she doesn’t, maybe she’s mad or-” 

“She is thinking about us. She is watching over us, Carlos. And she loves us no matter what,” 

“How do you know?” 

“You just…” Luke’s face flashed in her mind. The corners of her mouth pushed up, wanting to smile- 

“You just gotta have faith,” she finished, echoing Luke’s mantra, “And you won’t even need proof.”

“Did you learn that on the trip?” 

“A little. But mostly from you,” she said, not even for his own benefit.

It was true. It had taken the trip to make her realize just how… inspiring Carlos already was. How he had stuff already figured out while she was left floundering to even come to this conclusion. 

“You’ve… always believed in things we couldn’t see- aliens, ghosts, Santa. Even when people didn’t believe and kept trying to get you to stop. You stuck true to your beliefs. I could never. At least not without help.” 

“Yeah, but it’s getting so hard,” Carlos sighed, “Hard to believe in anything when everything just sucks.” 

“I feel. Totally,” She backed away, so she could look at him in the eyes, “But I think that’s when we need belief the most. To help us get through those sucky times. Don’t you think?”

He stared at her with an expression she couldn’t fathom. She tilted her head at him, “What is it?” 

“I think- I think I’m starting to remember what mom sounded like,” Carlos confessed. 

“Really?” She smiled, “How did she sound?” 

“It’s just… the way you were talking just now…” he nodded, “it was like that. Sounds like something she would say.” 

Oh. 

Oh how the breath knocked out of her just now. 

Her mouth was unable to form words. 

To even… to even be some semblance to mom was- it was… an honor. An honor she didn’t think she deserved. Not after locking her away in her heart, in her dream box, in the- 

Wait.

“Carlos...can you help me?” she placed him on the floor and was ready to stand, “I want to do something, and I don’t think-” her breath hitched once more, thinking about what she planned to do, “I don’t think I can do this alone.”

He nodded, wiping away the last of his tears, the resilience he had shown over the years making a comeback as he, without question, took his sister’s offered hand and followed her. 

She led him to her room, pulled out the chair from her desk so it was under her shelf. Once her dream box was in view, she opened it and took out a key, buried under years of post-it notes and drawings. 

Carlos’s eyebrows shot up upon recognition, “Is that-?” 

She nodded. 

Together, they went down the stairs, to the kitchen, and out the back door. 

Climbing down the garden steps, they could see the garage. 

The garage that they didn’t use anymore, for any reason. Not since the day their dad let Julie lock it up all those years ago. No one had set foot in it since then. 

Until now. 

It was what Carlos had said to her. That for a second, she was able to embody mom. That was when it hit her, there was so much of mom inside her, inside of Carlos, in their home- there was much of mom still here, even when she wasn’t here physically. 

She was here. 

She needed to show Carlos that. 

And since it was music, singing on stage back in Seattle when she felt her mom’s presence in its full force, she had to bring him to the one place where she knew for certain they would be able to feel her. In the room where she created music, made them love music. 

Any vision they had of their mom in her element, it would always take place in her studio. No doubt. 

Julie knew she wouldn’t have had the strength to unlock it if Carlos hadn’t been beside her. She was lucky to have even fit the key in the slot with how her hands quivered. 

She gripped one handle while Carlos took the other, and, in unison, they opened the doors. 

It was nothing like how it was in her dream. 

It was as cold, dark, and as dreary as she had seen it become since her mom’s passing. 

They had to switch the lights on but it still felt dim.

The plants in the back had long since been thrown out, leaving an empty space, with the small piles of soil scattered about, near the large window.

The instruments, her mom’s guitar collection were still in its rightful place, albeit coated in dust, unlike the piano, which had been spared with the use of a large piece of cloth draped over it

It had been the first thing Julie’s eyes were drawn to the moment they walked in. 

“It all looks the same,” Carlos commented, inspecting the worn out, leather couch and the wooden chairs that their mom had hooked onto the ceiling for some eccentric decor project.

There had been many times where Carlos would try to climb the ladder to the loft and would make a leap for one of those hanging chairs. 

She veered him away from the loft ladder, just in case, and they went for the piano. 

And once again, as a team, they slipped off the dust cover, and the dark wooden, grand piano presented itself to them. 

Her hand grazed the surface and her fingers buzzed from whatever magic she had come in contact with. Carlos did the same and flinched. There was something here and he felt it too. 

She stayed at the front, imagining what it had been like to be here with mom- her journal open, her mom’s curly script on the margins with her additions and suggestions- they both would butt their heads by accident from how they were huddled over a song. 

“Julie. Come look,” She looked up to see that Carlos had found the piano bench, opening it and peering inside where they kept their books and sheet music. 

She joined him and he held up a piece of paper that had been on top- 

Sheet music. For a song. 

Her mom’s song. 

It was in her mom’s handwriting, on top of the page: ‘Wake Up’. 

“I never noticed this,” Julie was never aware of this song. And she knew every single one her mother wrote by heart, so this- it must have been the last thing she had written. Before she died. 

She took it in her hands. The very last piece her mother wrote. A final message from her. 

Julie placed it on top of the piano and Carlos found the rest of the pages. Setting the bench lid down, the two siblings sat. 

She lifted the lid and her hands prepped for what she figured would be the most terrible sight reading session in all her time of playing piano.

She hadn’t played in so long, but her fingers fit along the keys her mother had written down almost like puzzle pieces. 

Starting slow, trying to reacclimate between staring at a new piece of music and finding the next hand placements, Julie sang her mother’s lyrics, _“Here's one thing I want you to know…_ “ 

The song- as she kept going- sounded so goddamn beautiful, each line more powerful than the last. Some parts, like when she read ‘ _Though I wish I could hold you through it’_ , her voice would crack and she was constantly on the verge of stopping altogether because… it really was her mom speaking to her. Speaking to them. 

And that was what pushed her through… 

_Wake up, wake up if it's all you do_

_Look out, look inside of you_

_It's not what you lost_

_It's what you'll gain raising your voice in the rain_

Knowing that it repeated, her fingers were flying, and she spared a glance at Carlos, and the childlike amazement he held for her playing when he was younger, was there on his face, and, like her, was wondering just how she was able to do this after not touching a piano for years. 

Mostly, he hung onto every word she sang, taking in their mom’s last words, smiling. 

_Wake up your dream and make it true_

_Look out, look inside of you_

_It's not what you lost_

_Relight that spark, time to come out of the dark_

_Wake up, wake up_

Julie smiled at the nod to their talk about what music meant to them, ‘the spark’. 

That had her jumping off the bench, rising and let her voice ring out for the rest of the song. She had to. It was the only way to play it, the only way to do the song justice. This was how she was going to honor her mom. 

_“So wake that spirit, spirit...I wanna hear it, hear it!”_ she bellowed the bridge, not caring how late it was. 

“ _No need to fear it, you're not alone…You're gonna find your way…”_ she took a breath, _“home!”_

And fuck, she was home. Now more than ever. This- with Carlos, with her mom, with music- it was the most home she had been in a long time. Her eyes stung with another round of tears threatening to pour. 

_When you feel lost_

_Relight that spark, time to come out of the dark_

_Wake up, mm-mm, wake up_

She finished off the song, lighter than she was when she started it. 

With a flutter of her fingers, it was over. 

She fell back onto the bench, winded but euphoric, her cheeks streaked with tears. If that wasn’t a spiritual experience… 

Carlos tackled her in a hug, and- oh god, how many times were they both going to cry tonight? They were just a mess at this point, just sobbing and struggling to speak to each other throughout their choked up voices. 

“I miss her so much,” 

“Me too,” 

“Carlos, I’m so sorry,” 

“I’m sorry too, Julie,” 

“God, I should have been there for you,” 

Carlos hummed, lifting his head to look up at her, “You’re here now, aren’t you?” 

“That’s right,” she nodded. 

“Don’t ghost me again, I swear-” 

She laughed, ruffling his hair. And his face scrunched up in mild annoyance, but he didn’t object, “I won’t. I promise.”

And she meant it. 

Yeah, the song and everything they talked about tonight wasn’t going to suddenly fix everything. 

But it was a start. 

“Julie? Carlos?” 

Their heads snapped up. 

“Dad,” 

They two left the piano and met their dad at the open doorway. 

He was in his sleepwear, having stumbled out of the house at the sound of her playing. If he had been sleeping, he didn’t show it. His eyes, soft, and a big smile stretched against his cheeks.

And...he may have been crying too. 

“I never thought I’d hear that voice again,” he marveled before embracing her, “That was- that was beautiful, Julie. Your mom…. Your mom would have been-” he couldn’t get the words out, too overcome with emotion. 

“I know. I know she is,” she said, pulling away.

She wanted to bask in this moment forever, but in the spirit of finally making steps towards healing, there was something she had to come clean about.

She could never lie to her dad. She could never do it as easily as Brad. And she wouldn't want to ever be likened to him. Ever. 

“Dad, I have something to tell you,” 

“What is it?” 

She looked to Carlos for a second before she confessed: “We weren’t at the store, like Brad said.” 

“I figured…” Their dad nodded, not too mindblown, “Something was definitely off earlier, but I was too tired to ask…” 

_Alright, here it goes._

“We-” 

“I snuck out!” Carlos interrupted, “I talked Reggie into taking me on a train to see Santa,” 

Ray’s eyes bugged out of his head, _“You did?”_

“We went to Seattle,” 

_“Seattle?!”_ if possible, his eyes grew even more. 

“But Julie and Luke came after me, and- just don’t blame her. Okay? If you need to ground anyone it’s me. It’s my fault,” 

Julie shook her head, not wanting Carlos to be solely to blame. 

“No. It’s _my_ fault. I scared him into going. Ground me, dad,”

She slung her arm around her brother’s shoulder in solidarity, “Carlos did what he thought he needed to do. I was selfish and didn’t do my job as his big sister. I understand if you never ever get me a car. I don’t care. I deserve it,” 

There was a lull in the conversation where their dad just… took a minute to process everything. 

He didn’t explode… 

Which was a good sign. 

But still, the Molina siblings held onto each other in anticipation. 

“You..” he said after a moment, directed at Julie, “traveled all the way to Seattle. To get your brother?” 

“Yes,” she confirmed, “Look, dad, I regret lying to you. I knew I should have told you about it the second he went missing. But I didn’t want you to worry. Not after everything we’ve been through. I should have told you. But...” 

She leveled her gaze, standing taller now. 

“...I don’t regret going on that trip. I visited different cities, saw things that I haven’t seen before, met amazing people- I finally got to get out of L.A. Which is something that I always wanted, something I thought would help me move on with everything that’s happened with mom. I thought moving meant moving on. But it’s not, isn’t it?” 

Ray hummed and brought his hands towards his lips in the way he did when he was deep in thought.

“I think...moving on comes from the inside,” he said, “It’s not easy. It takes a lot of work. And a lot of time. I’m.. I’m still on that journey too. But you-” his hand was on her shoulder now, looking between her and Carlos, now united, “you just took a huge step tonight.” 

“Yeah, I did,” she gestured to Carlos, “ _We_ did.” 

“And I’m so proud of you both” 

“Thanks, papa,”

He rubbed his temple, the story of their little Christmas adventure coming back to haunt him most likely.

“Look, I am… not thrilled about how it happened. We will talk about what you two did later, But, I’m just so happy that we’re all here, safe and sound, for Christmas,” 

Then they all were gathered up in a Molina family group hug, with her dad hopping up and down, making her and Carlos laugh but they partook anyway. 

They were here together. And that was what mattered. 

It was probably the most Christmas to ever Christmas in the Molina household since mom. 

That reminded her.

“Speaking of Christmas,” she broke the hug, “Dad, I think it’s time we put up the lights. For mom,” 

Her dad observed her closely, “Are you sure? Are you okay with that?” 

“I’m sure. Are you, Carlos?” 

The boy brightened at the idea, “Can we? Can we? Please?” he begged. 

“It is 10 at night, and you two want to decorate now? On the night before Christmas?” 

Oh yeah. This really wasn’t ideal. And Julie was fully prepared to resign. 

But her dad bobbed his head, considering it. Then a wide smile broke out on his face, “Why not?” 

_“Yes!”_ Carlos shouted for joy, hugging their dad before bounding for the loft. 

The rest of them trailed after him, digging through untouched boxes for the lights. Fully preparing themselves for a long night ahead of them. 

“Why stop at the lights?” Ray said after opening the boxes and rediscovering the tinsel and the garlands, “We have boxes and boxes of decorations up here!” 

Julie gasped, opening one and finding the angel tree topper, “Tía is gonna be so surprised when she comes over tomorrow!” 

With their dad’s help, they carried all the boxes down. Julie wasted no time in assigning everyone their different tasks.

Dad and Carlos were in charge of outdoor stuff, and she was going to tackle the interior, including decorating the tree. Hell, she was going to put a Christmas movie on while she did it too- keep it insanely festive. 

The excitement was palpable, all of them so stoked to be getting into the Christmas spirit, even though it was totally last minute.

Her dad had even gotten them all in for a Molina family huddle, meeting their hands in the middle before breaking, like they were a football team or something. 

God, they were such dorks. 

Julie, before starting her own duties, carried the boxes of lights to the front of the house while Carlos and dad searched the studio for the ladder. 

She set the first box down on the porch when something moved out of the corner of her eye, in the direction of the driveway.

Turning to check it out, she spotted the familiar red of a flannel. 

“Reggie?” 

Sure enough the bassist was lingering in her driveway, one foot in, one foot out on the curb, debating on something. He was still dressed in the clothes he was wearing from today, or more like the same clothes from the past few days.

His face was flushed naturally, but it was more prominent now, whether it be from the cold or... maybe from some tears of his own.

“What are you doing here?” she asked, jogging over to him. 

“It’s- it’s uh, nothing. Sorry, I should just go-” 

“No,” she ran in front of him before he could leave, “Reggie, I’m so sorry about today. I shouldn’t have raised my voice. Fighting with Luke like that. I’m sorry if I scared you,” 

The right corner of his lips twitched into a half smile, “That’s- that’s fine, Julie. I know you didn’t mean to,”

He shivered and she noticed he wasn’t wearing his leather jacket this time, “I, uh, actually, came back from home, and I- well, my parents, they- “

He looked down, “...your house was closer than Bobby’s, but I could just go there, if you’re-” 

_Oh no he doesn’t._

Her hands grabbed a hold of his, hauling him towards the house, “You’re staying! You are staying for Christmas, Reggie.” 

“R-Really?” his mouth hung open but did not protest being summoned to the Molina’s front porch. 

“Yes. You are,” she was not going to let him go back to his house. Not tonight. Especially not tonight.

“But, please forgive us, we just started getting into the Christmas spirit as of 20 minutes ago.” 

“You’re decorating? Right now?” 

She grinned conspiratorially, “Wanna help?” 

He looked like she had just told him that he could have a puppy.

“Sure!” he exclaimed, utterly elated. 

“You’re on light duty with Carlos, and I’m sure as hell not gonna let him climb up on that roof. I swear the guys gave him ideas,” 

“On it!” 

They came back just as Ray set down the ladder near the porch, Carlos already jumped the gun and started climbing on it. 

“Woah, woah, little dude do not go on that ladder!” he ran up to the base, already in his role. 

“Reggie!” Carlos leapt from the ladder and into the bassist arms, happy to see him “What are you doing here?” 

“Dad, Reggie can stick around right? For Christmas?” Julie asked. 

Ray nodded, not even needing a second to think about it, “Of course. The more the merrier. We’re gonna need all the help we can get to kickstart Molina family tradition. ” 

Reggie beamed at being included, but he asked: “So what is Molina family tradition?” 

The three of them shared a knowing look. 

_Oh boy._

Then Ray handed Reggie a box, “C'mon. Let us show you...” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter... took a lot out of me. 
> 
> I really should have separated it into two chapters, but I don't want to change the chapter count for the second time. 
> 
> Also my planned chapter titles would have been off. 
> 
> So much emotion packed in this one chapter. Hopefully you all enjoyed it!


	16. Wilson Estate

Chapter 16 'Wilson Estate'

The first thing Julie noticed in the morning was that her back hurts. 

Sunlight gracing her face, she sprang up from the living room floor from where she had been sleeping on a makeshift bed of garlands and newspapers used to wrap their ceramic Santa figurines. 

She had no idea when she had knocked out, the night before being a blur, but visions of red, green, and gold were rising to the surface of her subconscious. 

Blinking, her eyes flitted to and fro, taking in the newly adorned Christmas tree with a beautiful rainbow of orbs, just about any school-mandated macaroni ornament imaginable, and their antique angel topper. 

And the stockings, she could see they were hung up over the mantle, their names all stitched onto it felt.

If she were to walk out the door, she would most likely find the contours of the house decked out in lights. 

Oh god, they really spent all of last night making up for 3 years of lost Christmases didn’t they?

Wait. 

It’s Christmas!

On her knees, she padded against the floor until she met the couch where Carlos was snoozing, buried under an unrolled sheet of wrapping paper, probably utilized as a blanket. 

“Hey!” she shook him in her excitement, excitement that she had not felt for Christmas in ages, “Carlos! Wake up!” 

He lifted his head, cracking an eye open, “What?” he slurred. 

“It’s Christmas morning!” 

And this was the part where he was supposed to jump out of bed and dance like Grandpa Joe from _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_. But they must have been up later than she thought because all Carlos did was grumble and turn over. 

“Five more minutes,” he mumbled, waving her off, as if she was rousing him for school and not Christmas. 

“Come on!” she shook him more aggressively, crinkling the wrapping paper blanket, “Get up!” 

He didn’t budge. 

Julie pushed herself onto her feet, seeking reinforcements. The flannel laid over the armchair reminded her just who she could ask. 

“Reggie, a little help?” she called out, though she couldn’t see the guy. 

“Little busy in the kitchen!” 

Hopping and skipping over the opened boxes and stray garlands, Julie went for the kitchen where Reggie had been bent over the stove, stirring a pot of something. 

He shot her a cheery ‘Merry Christmas’ and it struck her just how relaxed he was in their kitchen, looking almost like a regular fixture of the room- how he didn’t seem to stand out of place being there, being here with them today. 

Julie walked over and gave him a hug, greeting him back. 

“Oh. Hold on,” He said after withdrawing from her embrace. He picked out pieces of tinsel from her unkempt hair, “There. Got ya, Julie.” 

“Thanks, Reggie,” 

Having Reggie over for Christmas so far had been the best idea she had. 

She had been worried that it was going to get awkward at one point with all of them digging through their past memories when putting up decorations, a lot of Molina history that did not include the bubbly bassist. These circumstances could have easily made Reggie feel left out. 

But her dad had made sure to fill Reggie in on any family lore required to understand certain stories and even jokes, and Carlos, who had been too young to remember some of these stories himself, didn’t dwell on them, mostly roping Reggie into helping him with the lights, where they talked about whatever they liked to talk about.

Either way, Reggie seemed to have enjoyed himself hanging out with them last night, even if it had been labor intensive… 

Julie had a feeling that her dad might have known something was up with Reggie and his parents because he had refrained from asking Reggie about his Christmas traditions, in case he might accidentally dredge up unpleasant memories- really doing all that he could to ensure Reggie was included. 

Besides, Reggie had been too engrossed in the way the Molinas celebrated Christmas to go on about his own traditions. Seemed like whatever detail they threw at him, he absorbed with fascination. 

For instance, as Julie peeked at what Reggie was working on, she spotted her abuela’s cookbook just a little ways away, flipped open to her recipe for hot cocoa. 

He asked if she could stir the pot of hot milk while he hustled to the table, grabbing a tray with five mugs and bringing it to the island, where various treats like marshmallows, candy canes, and, of course, cookies were laid out. 

He arranged them on saucers and bowls on the tray before returning to the stove to stir. 

“What are you doing?” she wondered, eyeing the tray. 

“Making a hot cocoa bar!” he chirped, “I saw it on Pinterest and I’ve been dying to try it, and your dad gave the okay. And apparently, according to Ray, your grandma’s recipe for cocoa is to die for.” 

That made Julie smile. New traditions were always welcomed too, and good on Reggie for feeling comfortable enough to try this idea out with them. And by the looks of that tray, she couldn't wait to dip these treats in her abuela’s hot cocoa. 

“Where _is_ dad?” 

“He said he had to go and grab something last minute. He just handed me the recipe book and split. He’ll be back soon,” 

She nodded, “We won’t start without him. It would give Carlos some time to sleep more.” 

Julie checked the clock in the kitchen and it read 9:24. Yeah, that was still too early for her. She might get some more sleep herself soon, she mused as she yawned. 

“We still have a lot of cookies. Do you mind if I run some over to Bobby’s for the guys today?” 

Oh. The guys. 

“No... I don’t mind,” she might as well have bristled at the mention of the guys. Not necessarily because of his friends as a whole, but more so a certain guy of his group that she couldn’t stop thinking about.

Even when she had been super family-oriented last night, stray thoughts led to Luke. 

They often did. 

She wondered how he was doing. Was he okay? Was he spending Christmas in that garage?

Julie had entertained the idea of running to Bobby’s, kicking down the garage doors, and rescuing Luke from a holiday alone. Because no one deserved that… 

But it was the expression on his face, one made in the car after their blowout and the one he made when he had walked out her front door, that stopped her. As if it would pain him for him to look at her any longer, worn out from searching the remnants of the Julie he cared about. 

He didn’t like mind games either. So he opted out of playing. 

So he himself didn’t get played. 

She got it. 

Her understanding didn’t make it hurt any less. The finality of it… 

And it had been her intentions of ‘rescuing Luke’ that made him so cross with her to begin with… 

“He likes you, you know?” 

“What?” Julie asked, summoned from her deep thinking. 

Reggie laughed before clarifying, “Luke.” 

Again, he performed his mind-reading trick on her or he was able to perceive her pensive expression as her ‘thinking about Luke’ face. (She really needed to check a mirror. Just to make sure she doesn’t make that same face on accident). 

Julie sighed, the situation already had been deemed hopeless, “Don’t think he does anymore after what I said to him.” 

“Yeah. He wasn’t the...best after we left your place,” The poorly-concealed grimace on his face amplified the guilt bubbling up her throat… 

Julie really did test the limits of what Luke could stomach in their arguing. She knew how his parents, especially his mom, was a touchy subject. 

It had been when she had landed a low blow regarding Luke’s mom that had him walking out the door and calling things off with her in the first place… 

She really should have learned her lesson. 

“I don’t think he’s gonna want to talk to me ever again…” 

The idea hadn’t been all too foreign to her since she had been doing so well going without talking to Luke Patterson for the majority of high school, not having perceived it as much as a total loss. 

But now, after the trip, after he managed to stir all these feelings inside her once more, getting her to care about him again- (or has she actually cared for him this entire time?), never speaking to Luke hollowed out her heart, anchored her soul- 

It would break her heart again. 

Reggie lowered the heat (on the stove top that Willie had fixed for them) before laying comforting hands on Julie’s shoulders, “In times like these, the best way to deal with Luke when he starts being… well, _Luke_ , is to be Luke.” 

She cocked her head, eyebrows furrowed, “I’m not following.”

“The thing about Luke is, and you know this, he’s always the one hyping us up, pushing us to do our best and do things that would be good for us. It’s not everyday that someone does it for him. And it’s so ironic because he’s still just as stubborn giving advice as he is receiving it.”

“Okay,” 

“Just keep trying, Julie. Be just as annoyingly persistent as he is,” he advised before boop-ing her nose. 

The gesture brought a giggle without meaning to, yet her dark musings remained. 

She appreciated the advice, appreciated more coming from a person who was close to Luke and would know how the boy would think. But was being persistent the right play? Would it even matter? 

With their track record? With their history? 

Like how many times could they break and make up, break and make up, before the whole thing crumbled into pieces that could just… not be put back together? 

Would there be anything to fix? 

Was something prone to breaking- with the fights, underhanded comments, inserting themselves into each other’s past trauma- worth fixing? 

There was nothing stopping her from making the same mistake again. Nothing stopping Luke from hurting her too. That was what their trip had proved. Even after reconciling at the Amazon Spheres, they still hurt each other on the ride back. 

It made her think that no matter what the circumstances are, there was something about the two of them together that was doomed to fail… 

Julie couldn’t go through that cycle again. She couldn’t put Luke through that again. 

Maybe… him never talking to her again was a good thing. 

And she just needed to accept that. 

She needed not to be the selfish one for once. 

_BEEP BEEP_

A loud horn noise broke through the calm morning. Julie and Reggie lock eyes just as they heard Carlos groan, his sleep disrupted for the second time. 

“What’s that?” Reggie asked which Julie couldn’t answer. 

_BEEP BEEP_

It sounded like it came from outside. 

The heat clicked off and Reggie followed Julie out of the kitchen and into the foyer where Carlos walked in, rubbing his eyes, asking the same questions. They all slipped on their shoes and walked out to investigate. 

The three of them headed down the porch steps, treading the walkway until they reached the driveway where they saw Ray had just stepped out of a car. 

A car that was not his. 

A shiny new car. 

One whose make and model Julie had obsessed over ever since scoring her license...

It all hit her what was going on and she let out a gasp, hands shaky as she clamped her mouth. 

_No way._

“Merry Christmas, Julie!” Ray shouted, elbows resting on the top of the opened door of the car. _Her car_. 

“Woah!” Reggie whooped and clapped Julie on the back, sharing in her joy- and yes, that was what she was feeling, contrary to how wide-eyed and stationary she was.

Even Carlos was more animated about the gift, running around and already pressing his grubby fingers all over the sleek, deep red exterior. 

Ray tossed the keys her way and Reggie had to catch them for her, holding them out whenever she was ready. 

Oh god she was not… like so not ready. Not as ready as she thought would have been. 

“Wha- How?” she choked out, walking towards her dad. 

“Do you like it? I almost put a big bow on top, but figured it would be too showy,” 

“Papi, I really…” she looked at her dream car once more, the sight knocking the breath out of her again, “... don’t deserve this.” 

He nodded, an sigh escaping him, “I’d like to remind you that I bought this before… you know…”

His hand motioned to the house, the house that she was supposed to had been at but instead had gone on an unsanctioned road trip to retrieve her wayward brother.

She and Carlos had yet to tell him the full story, believing that their dad was on ‘denial mode’ until after Christmas.

(He had already made them promise to let him go crazy with his ‘special egg nog’ when they would finally regale him the story of their travels…)

“But dad-”

“Can’t really give it back after I signed all the paperwork so…” He raised his hand and Reggie threw him back the keys. Her dad folded them into her palm, smiling,“It’s yours.” 

Okay. The imposter syndrome was definitely real. 

Did she really act like a total bitch to her brother? Disobey her father? Lied to her aunt? And hurt the one person who understood her? 

And she was _still_ rewarded with a car?

This didn’t make any sense, she didn’t want to- she couldn’t accept it. 

But Reggie was sending her that sunny smile of his, being totally supportive, and Carlos was already making plans for Julie to drive him to the mall and to the park and to Jake’s house, no ill feelings harbored, and her dad, she could see he was… proud?

“Julie, you know that I love you and I will support any decision you make, right?” he said, “I’m sorry if I made it seem like I’m trying to make you stay when you don’t want to.” 

“I understand. No, really I do,” 

She couldn’t fault her dad for reacting the way he had before he left. With mom gone, and everyone in the house already so emotionally distant, having his only daughter leave home would have driven an even bigger wedge between them. 

All he wanted was his family together like how it used to be. If he couldn’t have it emotionally, then having her physically close would have been good enough for him. 

“You could clearly… do things on your own,” again, him vaguely referring to the trip, “And I should be able to trust you. Trust you to come back home. To me.” his voice broke off and Julie thought she had been all cried out until that point. 

She layered a hand on top of her dad’s, and that was what he needed to compose himself.

“And if you want to go to Stanford- hey, I should be glad we’re in the same state. Just as long as you call often and we can visit you up there...”

Her head tilted til her gaze found Carlos, the both of them wanting to gag at the mention of Stanford, having reminded them of a certain jerk.

“Yeah…” she elongated turning back to face her dad, “I don’t think I’m gonna go to Stanford anymore, dad,” 

That surprised him. “What?” 

“I’m still figuring things out, but I’ll tell you one thing...”

Her mind drifted to Luke’s and Flynn’s face when she said ‘UCLA’... which was an interesting game plan to say the least… just an idea… 

“...I wouldn’t totally be opposed to being local.” 

“Really?” Her dad cried in disbelief, his light eyes borderline dazzling at the prospect. 

Carlos ran into her side, “You’re staying in SoCal?!” 

“Maybe,” she said, hugging her brother and messing up his hair. She looked back up at her dad,“Is that okay?” 

“That’s… more than okay,” 

Julie could read her dad’s body language right now, and she couldn’t be more amused, “You’re trying hard to not do that thing, aren’t you?” 

“What ‘thing’?” 

“I think she means when you wanna pick her up and swing her around,” Reggie threw in, having been present to quite a few occasions where this had happened, “It’s cute. Please do it.” 

“Reggie’s right, dad,” Carlos elbowed Ray in the hips, “You sooo want to, don’t you?” 

The man scoffed, “Psh no,” 

“Papa...” Julie raised an eyebrow. 

A total of 5 seconds passed when Ray relented and scooped Julie up into his arms and twirled her around, kissing the top of her head, much to the delight of Reggie and Carlos who totally called it, 

“I totally would have supported you going anywhere else, right?” he whispered into his daughter’s ear, still holding her. 

“I know.”

“But I’m just a tad more excited-” 

“I know, I know,” she laughed, “Now put me down!” 

Once on the ground, Julie engulfed everyone into a hug, savoring this overwhelming wave of support from the people right here in her arms. 

She didn’t deserve this, the car- any of it. 

But being with them as they root for her, thrilled at the idea of having her nearby, it made her feel more worthy in a way. 

She wanted to be worthy of it… 

Upon breaking the hug, she pocketed the keys, leading everyone up the stairs and into the house, “ tía’s coming soon and it’s still a mess in here, everybody!” 

“Don’t you want to take it out for a spin?” Ray asked, pointing to the car. 

Julie hummed, noncommittal, “Maybe later. After cocoa?”

_Honestly, the car could wait…_

* * *

Victoria had come by right after attending the early morning Christmas mass at church, and to say that she was surprised at the decorations was an understatement. 

She had gone rattling off in Spanish about how beautiful it all looked, marveling over the tree and reminiscing on the different ornaments, especially the angel tree topper that had been in their family for generations. Overall, her aunt had been super jazzed about them resuming tradition. 

And even open to some new ones. 

Julie had been nervous having her tía over while Reggie was there, unsure of how she would take to having a non-relative here in what was deemed a family affair.

But after Ray had discreetly pulled her aside and explained the situation, she was more than ready to accommodate. 

Maybe a bit too accommodating. 

She had roped Reggie into helping her in the kitchen, after sipping his hot cocoa and deeming it the best, and was already spilling the family secret ingredients to him. 

“ _Reginaldo_ , come here and taste this,” she had said whilst waving him over to try the _sopa de fideo._

Carlos pouted from the table, “I always get first taste.” 

“Not today, niño,” 

Her tía had even slapped Ray in the shoulder for not warning her sooner because she had come bearing gifts. 

“He gets your sweater,” Julie had overheard her whisper to Ray, ripping off the tag from the sweater she had handmade for him. 

Her dad rolled his eyes, “Oh no. What a loss.” 

The gift exchange had taken place in the living room, now clean. And it had been super fun, from what Julie could describe. 

Carlos had gone first, diving into the ‘Santa’ present right out of the gate (which ended up being a ‘spirit box’ to aid him in his ghost hunting endeavors, much to her tía’s horror). 

And then Reggie, to whom the Molinas had gifted a dorky, personalized math-themed patch for his leather jacket (‘Yer a Math Wizard, Reggie’). It had been a goofy gift, but the boy never looked more grateful for it. 

(And he had totally dug the sweater her tía gave him, even though he knew it was last minute. He had gushed over Victoria’s embroidery skills which won her over even more). 

Ray had received some new camera accessories that he had been looking forward to buying himself but never got the chance. 

(“I didn’t think any of you guys paid attention while I went on and on about my work. It’s boring stuff, really,” “It’s important to you, papa. Of course we pay attention”) 

Victoria now had a new pair of orthopedic shoes, but more stylish ones than the pair she had for work currently. 

(Julie may have doodled on them. Her tía appreciated her handiwork, claiming that she would be the envy of her colleagues). 

Julie herself had received some new clothes and trinkets and was quite pleased with what she got (aside from the fancy bracelet Brad had left her under the tree while he had been there yesterday. She had tossed it in the trash while no one was looking…). 

They were currently at everyone’s favorite part of Christmas morning- the clean up. 

Her dad was on standby with a large garbage bag and everyone took turns making free throw-style shots of balled up wrapping paper at him. And between the five of them in the room, it didn’t take as long to get through. 

They were just about done clearing the floor when her tía called for everybody’s attention. 

“There’s one more thing under the tree,” she had been behind the tree, checking for more trash. Instead, she had found a small bulky envelope. 

She brought it around while everyone gathered around the couch, deserving a much needed break from gathering wrapping paper.

“Hm… what is it?” 

“It’s a letter. For Carlos,” Victoria squinted at the writing, “From… Santa?” 

“Woah. Really?” 

Julie, her dad, and her tía all shared a confused look, but nevertheless Carlos was handed this letter from Santa. 

Carlos ran to the stairs to open it and read it, everyone remained in the living room so he could get some privacy. They all tried to go about their business but the sound of Carlos gasping had everyone stop what they’re doing. 

Not long after he had left, Carlos walked quietly down the stairs, fists balled up, expression undecipherable… 

Julie was the closest one to him. She went to stand in front of him, “Hey? Are you okay?” 

All her brother could do was hand her the folded up piece of paper that was the letter. 

She gingerly accepted it, wondering what was written to have rendered her brother in such a quiet state. Ignoring the stares from the living room, Julie read it to herself, unsure whether or not Carlos would have wanted everyone to know what was in it:

_Dear Carlos,_

_I would like to thank you for your bravery for the mission who have embarked on this Christmas season for the sake of my wellbeing. To be quite honest, Amazon had us worried there for a second. But it’s kids like you (and Reggie) whose belief keeps me and the spirit of Christmas alive for many years to come._

Good call on not reading it out loud, otherwise her tía would have freaked out… 

But the sentiment made her smile. So far, whoever this Santa was, he had written a nice letter, something that would have made Carlos feel a lot better. It didn’t explain why he was so struck silent though.

That was until she started reading down the page… 

_Now, I know this time of year is always hard for you and your family, so please accept this token of my gratitude. A special friend has asked me to pass this along, to let you know that I am not the only one watching over you._

That part puzzled her, “Carlos, what’s-?” 

He unfurled his fist, and out came, dangling from his index finger was- 

A keychain. 

With a dahlia etched onto it. 

Julie’s heart stopped. 

That was...That was the same keychain. From Seattle. The one that she hadn’t bought, the one that had been calling out to her- 

That certainly narrowed down her list of Santa suspects to one person. Only one person could have- 

Swallowing the tears that were coming up, Julie had to tear her eyes away from the keychain to keep reading the letter, this time aloud. 

_“Remember Carlos, you may believe in many things, but-”_ she faltered, having read ahead and recognized the words. The very familiar words… 

_“Belief, especially belief in yourself, would take you very far in life_ …” Oh god, now the tears were falling and she had to wipe them away with her sleeve just so she could finish off the letter, _“Thank you. Be good...Santa Claus...”_

“Julie,” Carlos said, voice shaky, holding up the keychain, “A sign.”

She nodded furiously, “It is.” 

That keychain- that flower. 

It was a sign. 

For a moment, Julie processed Carlos’ words and dismissed the logic of how the keychain had come into their possession- believing in something beyond what she could fathom. Of some greater power, pulling the strings behind the scenes and called it fate- 

Her mom. 

Of course. Her mom would have been behind this, it was all too perfect. She always had all the answers, so why wouldn’t she be doing this? Sending signs- 

_Pulling… the strings…_

The dahlia. On the keychain. At the Winter Fair. On the table at the reception. On Luke’s CD…

She had been everywhere. This whole time. 

Julie had a better grasp of this now, of her mom being here without actually being here. But now… it couldn’t all be more clear. 

And now… Carlos saw it too. 

A smile slowly spread on his face as he launched himself at his sister, ecstatic about this message from Santa, this message from _mom_ , knowing that either of them were watching over him and got his back. 

He darted around the room, showing off the keychain to everyone, saying it was from mom, and Julie had to take a seat on the stairs, the air getting too heavy, weighted with a clusterfuck of emotions that she couldn’t deal with standing up. 

Reggie wandered over beside her and sat down, smiling at Carlos’ unrestrained happiness. 

Julie passed the letter off for him to read, and he chuckled, “Santa Claus, huh?” 

He lifted the paper to her eyes and pointed at the signature at the bottom. At first, Julie had no idea what Reggie was talking about until she processed the distinct swoop of the letters, especially the ‘S’ and ‘C’ in ‘Santa Claus’, ones that matched a certain band’s logo… 

But the real dead giveaway had been the second ‘s’, the on in ‘Claus’... the letter ending in a curve.... 

“What is it, Julie?” 

She hadn’t realized that she had been crying until Reggie’s arm was wrapped around her, consoling her. 

But she wasn’t sad- No. Far from it. 

This really had been the best Christmas that she had spent in a long time… and this letter… the penmanship was foreign to her but the words… 

The words were Luke’s. The token was from Luke… who had somehow smuggled it under her tree during the whole fiasco yesterday… 

He had done that for Carlos, regardless of his feelings towards her at the moment. 

She fanned herself, forcing herself to stop crying and to watch Carlos… just looking so goddamn happy. 

“It’s just…” she sniffled and smiled weakly in Reggie’s direction, “Santa’s great. Isn’t he?” 

Reggie pulled her in close, rubbing her back comfortingly, no doubt the world’s biggest grin on his face. 

“The best…” 

They stayed on the stairs until Julie collected herself. Then, they joined everyone else in the kitchen where they had their family meal. 

They must have sat around the table and talked and laughed for hours, and honestly Julie couldn’t remember all that had happened during this time. Too busy being in the moment. 

Then pretty soon Reggie had to leave, much to everyone’s protests. But he had to come home some time. 

He had mentioned before, offhandedly, that neither of his parents would have noticed him missing for this long, which had greatly upset Ray and Victoria (though they hid their anger well from Reggie and were prepared to rant about it to each other once he left). 

And so, he wrapped up some cookies and some _sopa de fideo_ to go to take it to Bobby’s, where no doubt _Sunset Curve_ would kick start their own celebration later today. He gave everyone a big hug, had promised to give Carlos his ‘real’ gift soon, and walked out the door. 

He had been, of course, invited back for New Years… 

Now down to the Molinas, they all cleaned up, talked and sang some more, they played video games with Carlos- and it eventually got dark outside. 

Victoria had taken this as a signal to leave, but Julie got an idea. 

“Dad, I’d like to take the car out for a spin now…” 

And so she piled everyone in her new car, and she drove them… 

To mom’s resting place. 

They all approached the grave, hands adjoined, and together they knelt in front of the marking. This had been the first time in months any of them had visited, it had always been something that never got any easier as time went on. 

But Julie wanted to bring some holiday cheer to mom. 

Everyone took turns talking to mom, describing in much detail as possible what happened today, even though somewhere up there she already knew. It was a whole other experience, hearing herself talk to mom, and not have it be treated like she was crazy or something. 

Carlos had brought the keychain with him, waving it around and thanking her for sending it to him. He had revealed plans of turning it into a necklace that he’d be wearing everyday. 

They placed poinsettias beside the marking, fake ones that they had found while going through decorations. 

Julie vowed to come back soon, next time bearing dahlias. 

* * *

“Julie…. Julie? _Julie?_ ” Carrie’s fingers snapped in front of her face, _“Hellooo?”_

She blinked, getting lost in her head. 

Again. 

“Sorry,” she apologized, tucking her hair behind her ear, under her friends’ concerned stares, “What were you saying, Carrie?” 

The blonde narrowed her eyes at her, not appreciating being derailed, “I was asking everyone if they agreed with me that my dad’s too out of touch for getting me this Gucci bag that is clearly stuck in 2015…” 

Right. 

She was at Carrie’s house. In these stupid matching red and green striped pajamas. At the post-Christmas get together. 

Which was proving to be… kinda weird for Julie, to say the least. 

Maybe it had been finally sleeping in her own bed last night during normal hours that could have attributed to her not-really-there state. She was just not… into the party. Not as much as she had in previous years. 

Well for one thing- Brad was there. 

It wasn’t totally random that he was attending the event. He and quite a number of new alumni were still very much part of inner circle. 

When she had walked through the door, he was waiting by the shoes, arm ready to wrap around her. She had been able to dodge another kiss on the cheek without Carrie or Kayla noticing, but she let him sidle up next to her- again worrying about causing a scene. 

And everyone had been so happy to see Brad too, Kayla especially. Oh how Julie had wanted to take her to a secluded part of the house and warn her, but that would mean telling her what happened, and they wouldn’t even get to the brownies before the entire party knew Brad cheated on her. 

Brad had totally weaponized this ‘saving face’ tactic against her, so he wasn’t too worried about her telling people what went down. Maybe that had been why he hadn’t been totally crowding her and letting her go around the party on her own. 

Ugh. ‘Letting’ her go. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. 

Also, she had been attracting everyone’s attention the moment she had arrived at Carrie’s. 

It had been the new ride at first, to which Carrie and Kayla cheered at the sight of it. 

“Oh my god, girl!” 

“You did it!” 

Julie had found the phrasing weird. ‘She’ didn’t do anything. It had been her dad who had gotten her the car, none of her hard work or money got her the vehicle of her dreams. 

But then again, the sentence, ‘Look what I bought’ was fairly common in the group, even though none of her friends had bought anything without the help of their parents… 

She had made the bold decision to leave her hair in its natural state, all curly and voluminous, and that had been what caused round 2 of everyone’s eyes on her. Some of them had to do a double take because they almost didn’t recognize her. 

Yet, overall, the reception to her car and her hair had been pretty positive. Carrie’s _Dirty Candy_ friends had come up to her complimenting her ‘do, saying that she should do it like this more often. Even Nick had something flattering to say about her hair. 

“Look at you, Molina!” He had whistled, which would have been off putting if it had come from anyone else. But she had taken it in stride. 

“Thanks, Nick,” 

“Woah okay. Her hair is nice, isn't it?” Carrie had laughed a little too loudly, already dragging her in the opposite direction, “Now, Julie, come over here! You gotta see what I got for Christmas!” 

And that was what led her here. In Carrie’s hotel suite of a room with her closest girlfriends, applauding at her favorites and dissing her less desirable items of her haul. 

“And my dad scored these limited edition Nike’s-” 

Kayla gasped, fawning over the pair, “With the-?”

“Pastel Pink flowers? Duh,” 

“Color me jealous!” 

“They’re really cute, Carrie,” Julie took in the initiative with her comment, so Carrie didn’t think she was bored (which she totally was. Had it always been like this?). 

“Thank you! Thank you!” She dumped the shoes back in the box, seeming to have concluded her long drawn out presentation of her haul. She clapped her hands, “Now, enough about me. Let’s head back downstairs and figure out games!” 

They were back downstairs to where the party was, unfortunately returning to where Brad was. 

Said boy was making his way towards her once she left the staircase. And his cursed arm was weighing heavy on her shoulder yet again. 

“Sweet party, Carrie,” he said, grinning at the host, “and the food-” He procured a brownie from his jacket pocket and stuffed it in his mouth, making all the girls in attendance jokingly call out ‘eww’. 

“-is to die for!” he finished, bits of brownie smudged on his otherwise perfectly white teeth. 

God, Julie had found this man attractive once… 

Carrie laughed and punched him playfully on the shoulder, an action that not something one would associate with classy Carrie Wilson, probably having already snuck a sip or two from her dad’s vodka stash perhaps. 

“Now there won’t be much food for long if animals like you keep hoarding it all for yourself,” 

The doorbell rang and Julie bit back a plea for Carrie to stay and not leave her in the company of Brad. But as the good host that she was, she strutted to the door and opened it. 

“Ugh,” she heard Carrie’s voice drop to disgust, “I thought it was someone who actually mattered.” 

Bobby leaned against the doorframe, donning a fake smile that could have put Carrie’s to shame, “You’re always such a delight, dear cuz. I’m just here for the van,” 

“It’s in the back. Didn’t want people to think I own that eyesore.” 

“And yet…” he eyed her tacky Christmas pajamas up and down. Then he pushed past her, walking into the mansion like he owned the place, “I won’t be but a moment. ” 

“Hey!” 

“What’s up, party people?” Bobby greeted, making sure he was as obnoxious as possible. He danced to the kitchen, fingers wiggling over the array of snacks, “Yum, brownies!” 

Oh how the room turned cold once he made his appearance, and Julie couldn’t help but shiver at how everyone regarded Bobby as an outsider. Like the one speck of dirt in an otherwise clean house. Like he didn’t belong. 

Not like Bobby noticed. Or cared for that matter. He smirked at everyone in attendance, even going as far as winking at one of the members of Dirty Candy, who only scoffed at his attempts to flirt. 

“Bobby, just get going!” Carrie had caught up to him and was pushing him towards the patio, away from her guests. 

He turned his head and, for a second, locked eyes with Julie. He gave her a brief nod, the only acknowledgement he was allowed to give. The only one noticeable to her. 

Julie expected this. What it had done for her rep if Bobby had treated her like he knew her, and he made sure not to do that. That made her wonder if Luke had said anything to him, about how she had hid Luke from Carrie, and how it made her look like she cared more for her reputation. 

Or was this a courtesy? He had done her dirty work. She had paid him and the boys in money and food. Like her and Luke- no need for any more interaction. 

Either way it sucked. And Julie hadn’t been able to properly thank him for all that he had done.

Bobby sighed, “Alright, alright, Pinkie. I’m goin’.” And then he slinked away outside, walking around the grounds until he found the van. 

“I apologize,” Carrie said, returning to her cluster by the stairs, “Can’t believe he’s blood.” 

“Julie, nice ride,” Nick had just come back from grabbing something from his own car and had yet to talk about hers. 

“Thanks, Nick,” 

“Were you able to take it out for a spin? I know that was like the first thing I did when I got mine on my birthday,” 

“It’s no mystery the first place you’d go, J,” Kayla teased, wiggling her eyebrows. And everyone looked to Brad who only smirked. 

Julie hated the insinuation. But then again, Stanford had been the first stop she had planned for when she would get her car. 'Brad first'- her friends would have known that. 

“Yeah I did. But no, I didn’t go to Brad’s,” 

“Huh… ok,” She could tell Kayla wanted to say more, but for once chose not to.

“Where did you go then?” Carrie asked, bringing her cup to her lips. 

“My mom’s grave,” 

She heard her friend choke on her drink and the mood instantly shifted. Even Brad was shocked, his arm having dropped from her shoulder and hanging stupidly at his side. 

“Oh,” Nick said, unsure how to proceed. 

Julie didn’t know why she didn’t tip-toe around it this time. Maybe she had grown tired of hiding her mom and anything to do with her. No need anymore. 

And honestly, unnerving everyone around her was kind of satisfying. Like yeah, there was more to talk about than clothes and cars and jock boyfriends. And dammit, she wanted to talk about her mom. 

And maybe, _just maybe_ , everyone wouldn’t have to be so afraid to tip-toe around it if she, herself, was blunt about it. She had to start sometime, right? 

“Yeah. It was nice,” she said finally after a beat, smiling, “Kinda needed it,” 

Nick was the first to recover, her smile probably reassured him, “I’m glad. So you had a good Christmas then?” 

Oh how that would have been a loaded question to her earlier this week, but this time around, no memories of dusty studios and hospital gowns came to mind when she thought of Christmas. 

Only laughter, lights, and being in good company with the ones she loved. 

Like it had been before… 

“Yeah,” Julie mused, “The best...” 

Her dreamy look seemed to soothe the others, now they all breathed a bit easier. Kayla reached out and touched her forearm, smiling too and Nick continued looking at her, once concerned but now relieved. 

“Uh hey,” Carrie cut in, “I think we need to set up the games now. Brad, I need you and your friends to help me with the Switch. And Nick, could you bring down some more paper towels. We’re running low. And Kayla, can you go down to my dad’s stuff and get more drinks?” 

With that the flow of the party carried on, and Julie was left to her own devices (once again free from Brad) while all her friends were busy with stuff. 

But before Kayla hurried downstairs to the wine cellar, she patted her pockets down. 

“Shoot. My phone,” 

Julie frowned, “Do you know where you had it last?” 

The girl thought about it, “Hmm… maybe Carrie’s room? I was posting on my story.” 

“I’ll run up and get it. Go get the drinks,” 

“Thanks, Julie!” She ran off, shooting finger guns her way. 

Julie shook her head fondly at her friend and zoomed up the stairs and towards Carrie’s room. 

Arriving at the pink wonderland, Julie did her best to sift through the many piles of discarded clothing and boxes for Kayla’s phone. But it was a mammoth of a room, in which Carrie had led the girls all around during her flex fest, so Julie needed to cover all her bases. 

She started in one corner, where boxes upon boxes of new shoes nearly toppled on top of her and she wondered how one person could own so many pairs but only wore the same five in regular rotation for school. And after ending up in one part of the room where she had found not one but _three_ Apple watches from her haul, Julie just found it all unnecessary. 

The lifestyle that Julie had once admired and strived for was starting to lose its charm. And she was not saying that just because searching a much smaller room with less junk in it would have been a much easier hill to climb when it came to finding someone’s phone. 

Speaking of which, the search had led to Carrie’s bed, where her suitcase from her Tahoe trip sat. 

The phone was bound to be here, Julie thought, pushing aside random articles of clothing near the piece of luggage. She had remembered Kayla perched on the bed while probing Carrie for details about the ski trip.

“How were the slopes?” 

“I wouldn’t know. I didn’t go out.” 

“How was the resort?” 

“It was fine. Could have been better,” 

“But was it cold? I can’t imagine being anywhere cold right now,” 

“Not really. Not like I couldn’t handle, Kayla. Now anyways, check out my new Alexander McQueen handbag...” 

Growling in frustration after coming up with nothing, Julie pushed herself off the bed, accidentally knocking Carrie’s suitcase onto the floor. 

_Shit_ , she remarked as she stooped down to bring the suitcase back onto the bed and, much to her luck, it had been unzipped and many of the items inside were chilling on the floor, mingling with the rest of Carrie’s Christmas haul. 

She scooped the clothes up and placed it back into the suitcase, looking around to see if Carrie would walk in and see her crumpling up her stuff. She really did not have time to fold this, but if Carrie asked, she would so blame this on Kayla. Sorry. 

Julie was on her hands and knees, quickly gathering up the different articles of clothing when something caught her eye. 

First, she had found it strange that for a girl who had said she was going to Tahoe, much of the clothes she had packed were not built for colder climates. She had remembered watching her pack too on video call, but she never really noticed- having been too busy complaining about kegs to really question it. 

Some of the articles she had in her arms were jeans and T-shirts, even a light jacket. And after tossing more clothes in, she ended up coming across an all black, one piece jumpsuit… 

_That_ clearly wasn’t meant for Tahoe. 

Julie was about to make a crack theory about Carrie being a ninja when the laughter got caught in her throat- 

There was something else Carrie had packed. 

Something that shouldn’t have surprised her. She had seen Carrie with it on the video call, stuffing it in with the rest of her items. 

But looking at it now on the floor, Julie couldn’t help but… but think that she had seen it somewhere else. 

Julie bent over and picked it up, twisting the article in her hands, nearly tearing it as she scrutinized it, wanting so badly to be wrong because- because it was all too much of a coincidence- because- 

_-why would Carrie pack a Hermès scarf for a ski trip?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's been a while. 
> 
> Kinda been burnt out from cranking out chapter after chapter every day, and thought to take a break by answering some stuff from my inbox on Tumblr. 
> 
> Thank you for your patience. 
> 
> (BTW: the quote in the Santa letter had been from Rose's CD that she had given Luke, which only further cemented Julie's theory that it was Luke who ghostwrote the letter.)
> 
> And also... who saw this twist coming? I had been leaving little clues throughout the story that foreshadowed this...


	17. Wilson Household Part II

Chapter 17 ‘Wilson Residence Part II’

The transitive property. 

The freakin’ transitive property. 

Julie’s mind had gone blank, nothing but this obscure math concept remained.

It was all she could allow herself to think about as she tried to… take this in. (And it was _a lot_ to take in)

Because… because- 

If A equals B and B equals C, then A equals C

Julie laid out all the variables then: 

A- The girl Brad cheated on her with. 

B- The girl owned this scarf. 

C- Carrie

If the girl Brad cheated on her with (A) owned this scarf (B). 

And if this scarf (B) is owned by Carrie (C)...

Then A would equal…

_That lying bitch!_

Julie couldn’t believe it. 

But she also could. 

Because it had explained… everything: 

She had never seen the girl’s face. Only from behind. 

The fishy story about her dad making her go on vacation with him- it would cover for her not attending her party. 

How Brad came back from Stanford so fast- he came back on Carrie’s helicopter- (his hair was too windswept for it to be casual!)

Carrie acting weird on the phone call… asking if she was mad. Asking if she and Brad were going together to the get together.

How Carrie treated Brad down by the stairs just now… all chummy. She would never regard him or any of his jock friends like that. Not even with Nick, her own boyfriend… 

Julie collapsed onto the bed- Carrie’s bed- clutching onto the scarf so tight that her tendons rippled. It felt wrong. Her body just felt wrong. The pajamas that she was forced to wear itched and clung against her body uncomfortably, almost tight enough to suffocate. 

_Come on, Jules, breathe. For god's sake breathe!_

Blinking rapidly, she tried to steady her breathing, trying to breathe as if her freakin’ life didn’t just obliterate the moment she made her discovery. 

It all made sense, she kept telling herself as she waited through the worse of her freak out, this explained it all. 

But no. It really didn’t. 

Julie knew what happened. How it happened. 

But she didn’t know why. 

Why would Carrie do this? 

They had been friends for years. They had done everything together- shopping trips, sleepovers, parties. Carrie would be the one to pick her up to go to school, their boba orders always in the cup holder. 

It would be Carrie’s house that they would hang out in after class too. 

Carrie would be who she would end up talking to on the phone for hours and hours on end. 

Of course, there were moments when she hadn’t been the nicest, the sprinkling of underhand comments here and there even for her oldest friends. Some light teasing- she had assumed. She didn’t really mean it, not when she kept saying that she had their backs. 

But Julie never thought Carrie would go as far as to makeout with her boyfriend. And to keep it from her too. 

This really did speak to what Luke had been trying to warn her years ago- about she was vapid, mean, and rich. But even with the evidence right in front of her, Julie was having a hard time accepting it… 

Wait. Did Luke know? That it had been Carrie? He had been the one to storm back inside the frat house and confront Brad- there was no way he couldn’t have seen Carrie and recognized her. 

No, he would have told her. Maybe not in the car immediately after it happened. But when they had been at the thrift store- he had said Carrie didn’t seem all that bad since she had been the one to have helped Julie. 

And Carrie had. And that was what sucked about this the most!

Carrie had been able to help Julie out of her depression in ways that Luke couldn’t. After the breakup, she had been essentially alone. It had been Carrie and her friends that took her in, made her feel better and got her to move on. 

Hell, Carrie had been the one to push her to go for Brad in the first place! 

And although they never got into it, Carrie had some idea of what she had been through. 

How, it had been a difficult journey for her to get to a point where she was happy and at ease with other people after only having been friends with Luke for years. How anxious she had been starting a new relationship… How far gone she was on Brad when they had started dating… 

How much she struggled after her mom had passed… 

They had been in the same schools together ever since they were little- Carrie could have had some glimpse of what it had been like for her… who she was before mom’s death and after- to see how much of a wreck she had been. 

To know what Julie had been through and to do what she did- 

Betrayed couldn’t even begin to describe what Julie was feeling right now. 

She could hear Kayla coming up the stairs, calling her name. Apparently, Grace, one of the other _Dirty Candy_ girls had found Kayla’s phone earlier in Carrie’s room and held onto it for her. 

“Julie?” The girl leaned against the doorway, “C’mon. Or else you’ll miss out on the games.” 

Oh she wasn’t missing out on the games, alright. 

Not when she was totally getting played right now by her supposed best friend and boyfriend. 

Now remembering where she was and what was happening, Julie rigidly stood up from the bed, scarf wrapped around her fist, and ran out the door, past Kayla who kept shouting and running after her, confused. 

Her steps thundered down the stairs, fury fueling her movements. She wasn’t even off the staircase yet when she scanned the floor for the two. Jumping onto the ground floor with only half a flight left to go, her loud landing drawing some people’s attention towards her. 

Julie couldn’t care less as she shoved her way to the den, where most of the group congregated, Carrie and Brad included. The two were standing next to each other, setting up the controls for the Switch. 

Brad saw her coming and waved her over, “Hey babe, we’re just about to play Mario Kart, do you wanna-?” 

Her fist connecting with his face cut him off. And a hush fell over the house as their Golden Boy staggered backwards, hand nursing his eye. 

It had all been silent. Except for Bobby, who had returned inside for a drink and was stationed near the fireplace, who was pointing at Brad and openly cracking up at the guy’s misfortune. 

“That’s to match the other one, you asshole!” she yelled out, referring to the spot where she clocked him- his good eye. 

“I don’t think it took, Julie. Hit him again!” Bobby hollered, earning a harsh glare from Carrie. 

Julie was tempted to do it, but instead she shoved him to which Carrie caught him in her arms and was tending to his face. Now if that wasn’t more evidence- 

_“Julie, what the hell?”_ Carrie hissed at her, looking around at everyone present, “You’re making a scene!” 

Julie gaped at her for a second- _a scene?_ She was worried about her making _a scene?_

“I am right to! I’m mad! I’m mad because _you_ ,” she gestured at the boy seething in pain, “cheated on me! And _you_ ”, she pointed at Carrie, “you lied to me.” 

_“Carrie?”_

A soft voice broke out above the audible gasps scattered around the crowd, causing everyone’s heads to turn to… Nick. Who had just walked in, holding a roll of paper towels. His eyes had zeroed in on Carrie and Brad. 

The blonde girl sensed Nick’s scrutiny and so she untangled herself from Brad, leaving him on the floor and rising to meet Julie. 

She crossed her arms, “What are you even talking about?” 

“You weren’t in Tahoe. You were at Stanford. With him. Sucking face at a frat party,” 

The accusation ignited another round of gasps, which informed Julie that literally no one had any idea- not even Kayla, who stared wide-eyed between Julie and Carrie. 

Carrie bristled at the intensity of everyone’s eyes on her.

She scoffed, “You’re being ridiculous-” 

“If the scarf fits,” And with that Julie dangled the fancy scarf in front of her then let it drop to the floor. 

For a moment, Carrie stared at the scarf and said nothing. 

_“Well?”_

Julie demanded answers, and she was well prepared for any denial or mental and emotional maneuvering Carrie was sure to do in order to escape blame.

Because their entire social circle was spectator to this exposure- she wouldn’t let her reputation suffer from these harsh accusations. 

Julie was willing to draw this out as long as she needed to until she confessed. 

But she was not prepared for when Carrie shifted the weight between her legs, cocking out a hip and met Julie’s stare with a defiant one of her own. 

“So what if I did?” 

Now that had created an uproar in the room. And Julie shut her eyes, opening and closing her fists. 

The admission not only solidified her suspicions, but it sent a stabbing sensation to her heart. 

Julie was right. But she didn’t want to be. 

She spared a glance at Nick, the only one silent while everyone else went ballistic at what Carrie said. His eyes were unfocused, his expression closed- and as upset as he was, Julie was stunned to see him accepting the news for what it was. 

He let out a sigh, and that was when Julie knew- 

Nick wasn’t even all that fazed. 

He absolutely saw this betrayal coming. 

Once the noise level in the room became too much, all it took was one scathing glare from Carrie to shut everyone up. Even though it was clear the crowd did not hold a high opinion of her at the moment, the power that Carrie Wilson was still able to wield over them. 

She still had control. 

Carrie could work this in her favor somehow, Julie dreaded. 

“I’m surprised you didn’t even know it was me there. I thought for sure you saw me, but I guess you were too busy getting cozy with Luke Patterson on the dancefloor to notice,”

And there it was. The deflection. Now, the judgmental whispers were directed at her. Brad could even be seen smirking from his position on the floor- 

Oh how she wanted to curb-stomp that smugness off that guy’s face… 

“We didn’t do anything!” she affirmed, which had been true- in that instance.

Nothing had happened at Stanford. At least Julie had the sense to wait until after she had seen her boyfriend cheat on her to even consider kissing Luke.

(But then again, she hadn’t even considered it at all, she had pretty much just gone for it at _Eats & Beats _with like no plan.) 

She shook her head, not allowing her anger to be invalidated on the spot, “Look, this isn’t about Luke!” 

“No, you’re right. It’s about Nick,” 

Julie’s eyebrows shot up, _“What?”_

_Now what was she talking about?_

“You seriously haven’t noticed?” Carrie raised a perfectly manicured finger in Nick’s direction, “Nick, my boyfriend, likes you.”

Nick sighed, apparently having had this conversation countless times before, “Seriously, Carrie? I already told you I don’t-” 

“Yeah, but you prefer hanging out with her than me!” 

“I prefer hanging out with anyone besides you! Because all you do is talk about people behind their back and I’m-” he gave a frustrated growl, throwing the paper towel roll on the floor, _“-and I’m just sick of it!”_

Julie’s hand flew to her open mouth- a reaction shared by many in attendance. 

Nick had just raised his voice. 

No one had ever seen Nick lose his cool. Especially not in front of Carrie, with whom everyone had assumed he had a good relationship with. They never fought. 

Ever. 

Probably just another aspect of Carrie’s life tailored to fit her perfect image. 

Carrie laughed out of sheer discomfort. Her eyes narrowed at her boyfriend, challenging him, “What did you just say?” 

Instead of cowering into submission like everyone else had, he took a moment before straightening his back, looking at Carrie in the eyes and, for once, held his ground. 

“Yeah… you heard me,” he stated, unwavering. 

Carrie was taken aback, not used to Nick, or anyone for that matter, standing up to her like that. 

“Carrie,” Julie had to step in, “Nick and I are just friends. I don’t know where you got that idea from. Like I didn't know you felt that way. But I don’t see why you had to do this, I didn’t even do anything-” 

“That’s it, isn’t it?” her friend’s words sliced through hers, “You didn’t have to do anything. Everyone just likes you better and they treat me like _I’m_ the villain!” 

Kayla pushed forward, hand outstretched, “Aw, Carrie-” 

“Zip it, Kayla!” The girl snapped, and Kayla immediately recoiled and scurried back to where she had been standing. 

Julie threw her hands up in the air, “Where is this coming from? We’ve been friends for years. Why all of the sudden you’re acting like this?” 

Carrie gave out a cruel laugh, “You really want to know?” 

“Yes!” 

“Okay. Fine. Here it goes,” Then Carrie closed in on her, “I’m sick of playing second fiddle to Julie Molina, alright?” 

That shut down Julie’s brain for a hot second. Not expecting that response. 

_“What?”_

“Showcases and plays ever since kindergarten- you were always the shining star. Everyone’s favorite. Teachers, parents-”

She made a show of glowering at Kayla and Nick

“ _-everyone_. And I’ve been working my ass off ever since, doing what I need to do to get to the top and I’m the one they call the ‘bitch’ for doing so.” 

Bobby scoffed into his cup, “Yeah. That’s why...” 

“God why are you even still here?!” Carrie shrieked at her cousin, who only shrugged and took another sip of his drink. 

Ignoring him, she groaned then resumed her tirade: 

“I tried to get over it. I was able to convince myself that it’s all in the past. Start fresh, give being friends a shot. Lent you my clothes, let you hang out with us. But oh my god, you don’t even freakin’ sing anymore and you still manage to steal the spotlight.”

Julie… had no idea. 

Yeah, she and Carrie had some history prior to them being friends, but for it to be so competitive- at least to Carrie- Julie was unaware of this grudge. And just for singing and performing in some shows back in elementary school and maybe some in middle school? 

She never knew that Carrie was that bitter at her for snagging the leads and the solos in choir. Not like she had sought out to do it, she auditioned and got the roles. 

But that was what Carrie had always strived for- she wanted to be the best. She wanted to be the star. And Julie… threatened that. 

And it finally clicked in Julie's mind.

When she had stopped singing, when she had dropped choir and didn’t audition for the music program, that was when Carrie started talking to her, started to be nice to her. 

It was only when she didn’t pose a threat that Carrie wanted anything to do with her. 

And when they finally became friends, like the best of friends, Julie was just so happy to be treated normally that she didn’t let herself see what was really happening. 

The new clothes- clothes that modeled after Carrie’s style, the new hair- straightened to be more like Carrie’s texture, Carrie had been slowly making Julie into another version of herself. 

But that was ridiculous, Julie thought. Because there was no way for Julie to perfectly replicate Carrie- 

Oh my god. 

_That was the point._

To set her up on this quest to meet an impossible standard- Carrie’s standard. And whenever Julie faltered, made a misstep- it only made Carrie so perfect in comparison. Because no one can do Carrie Wilson like Carrie Wilson… 

It was a game and it had been rigged from the start. 

But apparently it didn’t work because Julie managed to get the attention that Carrie craved. 

Like today, when for once, she had decided to wear her hair naturally and people had responded well to it, everyone but Carrie. 

She had been jealous. 

And also, it was no secret that Carrie was not the nicest, letting her paranoia, thinking others were out to get her, override courtesy and logic. And if people like Kayla and Nick tended to gravitate towards Julie during these awful spells, then that was no one’s fault but Carrie’s. 

Julie didn’t mean for any of this to happen. She never went out of her way to make Carrie feel the way she felt. 

But that shouldn’t result in Carrie having to take a certain course of action... 

“So this- you and Brad? Is this some sort of twisted revenge? Because I was getting attention?” she said, the absurdity of the sentence reaching her ears and her face contorted into a confused expression. 

“You were getting too big for your britches, Julie,” Carrie justified simply, “This is all just to humble you. I do the same to Kayla when she tries to push for more dance solos too,” 

“Y-You do?” The other girl stammered

“Yeah. That’s how it works,” 

“How _what_ works? All these rules on what to do, what to say, who to talk to? This system that _you_ made up?” 

Julie sighed, fingers on her temple because she just had to- she just had to make sure she understood this. 

She turned to everyone, trying to convey the ridiculousness of Carrie’s logic to the mass. 

“And we all just listen to her? And go along with this? Just because she’s like ‘Queen of the School’ or whatever? We do what she wants. We go where she wants us to go. Like come on,”

Her hands waved around the place, “Who here, actually wants to be here right now?” 

Everyone shared a look, debating whether or not to respond, or else be at the mercy of Carrie Wilson’s wrath. 

Maybe encouraged by Julie and maybe even by Nick who finally voiced his opinion, heads down, refusing to meet their host’s eyes, most of them didn’t respond. Only about a handful of people did raise their hands. 

“Stop that!” Carrie stomped, running around to quiet down their murmurings, not wanting to accept the fact that many of her partygoers didn’t want to even be here, _“Really?!”_

Julie ended up walking about, slower than Carrie’s squirrelly movements, and was surprised and actually pretty relieved that she wasn’t the only one who felt this way. Everyone had let themselves get carried away and were just as lost as she was. 

Still, it didn’t excuse them from their own faults and behaviors that Julie disapproved of and for helping facilitate such a social environment… 

“Look, I know there’s this whole ‘FOMO’ situation here, but really, come on, following these weird rules and clique stuff have made _me_ miss out on stuff,” she addressed the crowd. 

“Times I could have been at home with my family. Spending time with my brother. Spending time with people- like the ones you all look down on. And they’re actually pretty cool, you know? Like… ,”

She stopped in front of Bobby, playfully punching him in the shoulder, not afraid to acknowledge him in front of everyone,

“...they can be pretty great.” 

The guy nodded, the left corner of his mouth twitching into a half-smile. He raised his cup as a toast, “Ain’t half bad yourself, Molina.” 

She smiled before walking back to Carrie, “I could have been doing the one thing I love doing, join up musicals or audition for the music program, instead of worrying about throwing parties or looking the right way, pleasing everyone, pleasing _you_. I could have-”

She could have been happy. 

Happy as herself. 

Doing the things she loved with the people she loved. 

She could have been friends with really cool people like Bobby and Flynn. And instead of shacking up with a jerk like Brad- she could have been with someone who loved her for her- 

She could have been with Luke. She could be with Luke. 

She wanted to be with Luke. 

Julie’s eyes grew.

_Oh my god. What am I doing even doing here?_

Her hands dove into her hair, running it through as she finally made up her mind. 

She was going to be the first to walk out of a Carrie Wilson event. 

Not minding the audience, Julie picked up her bag from the couch, “Look, I gotta go,” she said to no one in particular, maybe to everyone, “I’m not having fun anymore. This… this isn’t working for me anymore-” 

Carrie short-circuited while she watched her packing up, “Julie-?” 

“I, uh, I don’t know. Wish you guys the best, I guess, in future.. endeavours-?” 

“Geez, Julie, you laying them off or something?” Bobby snorted. 

Julie stuck her tongue at him before doing a slow rotation, taking in this group of people that she knew she would no longer accept her. Not after what she had done today. Calling everyone out like that… 

“I guess what I’m saying is. Thanks for the party, thanks for all the good times, but I have better places to be,” 

“Me too,” Nick was off and already grabbing his jacket. He nodded at Julie and she returned it, emoting sympathies with her eyes. He shrugged, giving her a small smile before he slipped on his shoes and was out the door. 

And it turned out they weren’t the only ones about to make a departure. Quite a number of people, emboldened by Julie and Nick’s actions, were now heading for the exit. 

“Nick! Guys?” Carrie cried after losing people to the door, “But we- we haven’t even done pictures yet!” 

Julie lingered next to Bobby, watching this historic moment unfolding before her eyes. People, like her, had grown disillusioned with Carrie and the atmosphere she created. 

Not everyone had left though. Kayla and the rest of Dirty Candy remained, although Kayla appeared to be conflicted. And Brad, of course, was still around, as were most of his friends. 

“My party!” Carrie mourned the loss of her attendees and Julie and Bobby took that as their cue to head out. 

Bobby was ahead of her when Julie felt Carrie’s hand on her arm, forcing her to face the girl. 

“Julie, look what you did! After all that I’ve done for you. I did you a favor! And you do this to me? Today? After Christmas?” 

She rolled her eyes, not wanting to put up with her shit anymore. She shrugged her off and faced the door, “I’m leaving, Carrie. I really can’t do this anymo-” 

“Before me, you were just the girl whose mom died! And everyone took pity on you. I helped you!” 

Julie had been bent over, collecting her shoes when Carrie decided to drop that last ditch effort. 

She rose slowly, pivoting on her heel and marched right up back to Carrie, getting all in her face, frightening the other girl, shutting her up instantly. 

“People took pity on me, huh? That’s exactly what you did! _You_ took pity on me! I was just a charity case to you to prove to everyone you’re not the heartless bitch they think you are. But guess what? They still think that. And yet, I defended you because… because I thought-”

She faltered, and 3 years worth of laughs and good memories flowed between them in that moment. 

Before disappearing for good. 

Julie swallowed, feeling her throat tighten as she repressed the tears that wanted to come out. But no, Carrie, after what she had done, did not deserve these tears. 

“I guess I didn’t know you as well as I thought I did. And _you_ don’t know me as well as you thought, if you think I’m gonna be okay with all of this,” she poked Carrie in the chest, “I don’t owe _you_ anything. And I especially don’t need to degrade or restrict myself in order to make you feel more secure.” 

Carrie pursed her lips, but didn’t say anything. Was she remorseful? Was she proud? Julie couldn’t tell anymore. She obviously didn’t know Carrie Wilson, and she didn’t plan on sticking around to find out more. 

“I’m outta here. Have a nice life, Carrie,” she ended, and she was out the door. 

And if Carrie had finally decided to call out after her, begging her to come back- Julie was no longer listening. 

She was down the front steps when she heard someone catching up to her- 

Brad. 

“Babe, you just totally ruined whatever street cred I still had back at Los Feliz,” 

She laughed, distancing herself and trailing after Bobby, “Not my freakin’ problem, Brad.” 

But he wasn’t done, he copied Carrie’s earlier move and grabbed her and whirled around, “Can we please talk about this? Remember I covered for you with your family-” 

“They already know, Brad. I told them. Because unlike you, I can’t live with myself knowing I’m a liar...Not anymore,” She swatted his arm off her, “Oh, and if it’s not obvious already- we’re over.”

He was thrown off, the rejection offending him so greatly. “You’re leaving me? You're leaving _me_ ? You’re leaving me for that- that dirty hipster?” 

“I’m leaving you for me!” she defended, “But you know what? That ‘dirty hipster’ is everything you’re not, Brad. Kind, passionate, extremely loyal-” she paused to smirk, “Kisses way better too.”

Bobby choked on his own spit not too far from her upon hearing that statement. She didn’t have to look at him to know that he was sporting a goofy grin at her assessment. 

Meanwhile, Brad was slack jawed, and like Carrie, was not used to being told off like this. He could only stare at her, eyes blinking rapidly like the dense jock that he was. 

“Luke’s twice the man you could ever hope to be and will go very far in life. Unlike you,” And with one last shove, Julie was done with him, skipping away and yelling derisively over her shoulder, “Have fun in Stanford, jackass!” 

“Bravo!” Bobby applauded, backpedaling into the van that he had driven out to the front of Carrie’s mansion. 

Julie bowed, never before appreciating having an audience as receptive as Bobby. 

“Hey Bobby!” The guy halted, “Now where do you think you and your license-less ass are going?” She opened her palm, “Keys.” 

He relinquished the keys over to her with no hesitation, “Yes ma'am.” 

Julie piled into the driver’s seat as Bobby took shotgun. 

Running her fingers along the wheel, getting a whiff of stale odor, and absorbing the vehicle’s contents- the balled up napkins, the emergency guitar in the back, and the CD wallet left on the dashboard- 

Julie never thought she would miss this old-ass van so much. 

Dizzy from her public confrontation, Julie put the key in ignition, switched on the stereo, and drove down the driveway, howling because- holy shit. She just did that. 

Bobby shared in her delirium, but was able to leave one foot in reality. In a split second he stared at her, concerned, “Okay, I may be some pleb in the kingdom that is Los Feliz High. But even I know what you just did back there- Julie, that was-” 

“Social suicide,” she giggled, “I know!” 

Like, it hadn’t settled in yet that she had cut off her crowd and had tanked her popularity in the meantime, but it was a grave situation- 

And Julie couldn’t bring herself to care. 

Just then her phone was buzzing her pocket. Eyes on the road, she pulled it out, swiftly unlocked it, and tossed it Bobby. 

“Who is it?” 

He frowned, tapping away at her phone, “Someone named Flynn’s trying to slide into your DMs.” 

Julie’s shoulders rose, her curiosity piqued. She had completely forgotten that they had exchanged socials back at Stanford. 

“Oh my god! What does it say?”

“Uh…” he squinted, “It’s a picture of a pair of dinosaur slippers? With a caption ‘ _See, I told you I was getting a new pair for Christmas. Hope you found your brother. Merry belated Christmas!’_ ” 

Julie smiled, fondly.

_Oh Flynn..._

“Are you okay?” Bobby nudged her, noticing how wide she was smiling and how quiet she had gotten all of the sudden. 

“No,” she said, her actions of today seeping in. 

She really just turned her back on her friends. There went post-grad plans, parties, a place to sit at during lunch. And after making an enemy out of Carrie Wilson, the rest of her senior year was gonna be hell on earth for sure. 

And yet… 

Julie’s eyes flickered to her phone, catching the smallest glimpse of the picture Flynn sent. 

“I’m not okay, Bobby. But I’m gonna be,”

He patted her on the shoulder, encouragingly, “Alright. What’s the plan, then?”

She gripped the steering wheel tight, already moving forward, “I’m cleaning house. And I just got one last thing I need to do.”

“What’s that?” 

She took a deep breath. 

“I need to talk to Luke,” 

* * *

Julie hopped out of the van, having parked it in front of Bobby’s house. Together they ran up the driveway, and barged into his garage. 

It was only Reggie and Alex inside, the latter chilling on the couch and scrolling through his phone. 

“Back from the witch’s lair, I see-” his eyes darted upwards for a second and he had to do a double take, _“J-Julie?”_

Reggie, who had his back turned while he fixed an amp (which thankfully was not in the rain), spun around, just as surprised at Julie’s presence as Alex. 

“Hey,” she waved weakly, unsure what their reception to her arrival would be. 

She was a bit more comfortable with Reggie, knowing that he had no ill feelings towards her since Christmas. But, of course the boys’ loyalties would lie with Luke, and _he_ had yet to forgive her. 

Alex’s hand, the one holding his phone, bounced between Julie and Bobby, totally lost on what was happening, “How-?” 

Julie cut him off, “No I don’t want to explain- “

“Julie, your car?” Reggie asked, not seeing it anywhere. 

“Oh,” Dammit. It had totally slipped her mind, “I, uh, left it at Carrie’s. Was in too much of a hurry-” 

“Yo, she tore Carrie to shreds, guys!” Bobby hopped in, shaking Julie by the shoulders. 

_“You did?”_ The guys chorused in disbelief. 

“Like owned her ass. Told her off, got Nick to dump her-” 

She held her hands up, “Woah, I didn’t get him to-” 

“Julie, what the hell?” Reggie grinned, clapping her on the arm, “That’s insane!” 

Alex, on the other hand, was queasy on her behalf, “Do you have a death wish? Like no seriously, do you?” 

“You were legendary!” Bobby proclaimed, at which she blushed. 

She struck a pose, “You know what? I kinda was,” 

Everyone started applauding her like how Bobby did back at Carrie’s, both Alex and Reggie with a newfound respect for her. 

“I _may_ have also punched Brad too...” she added in. 

Reggie’s hands clasped together, almost in a prayer-like fashion, “Please tell me it was on the other eye. Please let it be on his good eye.” 

“Yes, it was,” 

“I knew it!” 

“I didn’t get the chance to thank you guys. For everything you did for me this week. I can’t even begin to make up for it. Like you-” she turned to Alex, frowning, a crease forming on her forehead too. “Like is your back okay?” 

“Yeah no, it’s fine. All good,” Alex looked down at his sneakers, his cheeks flushed, “ Willie, uh, sorta broke my fall,” 

Julie winced, “Ouch,” 

“I still feel bad!” 

“Do you? Cuz you seemed pretty pleased to be wrapped up in his arms when I found you guys,” Reggie elbowed Alex, wiggling his eyebrows. 

“Yeah. I was happy that I didn’t die!” 

“Yeah sure you were, buddy,” 

Alex scowled at Reggie before continuing to speak to Julie. “But everything else before, you know, me nearly dying like the Santa in _The Santa Clause_ , was pretty great. You don’t need to owe us anything, Julie.” 

“In fact, we should be thanking you,” Bobby said, walking around til he joined his bandmates. 

Julie didn’t understand, “Why?” 

“Well, our home lives aren’t exactly stellar right now which makes the holidays hard,” Reggie stated, hands waving around all three of them. 

“My dad’s always working,” Bobby piped up, “Rarely see him at home. When he does come home, he’s holed up in his office. Mom doesn’t take it so well, but she tries. Never feels like we’re ever together when we’re together, you know what I mean?” 

Julie could empathize with that, having been in a similar position with her family. All under one roof but never really connecting with each other since mom’s passing. It could be all encompassing and very hard to deal with. 

She never knew Bobby had to deal with that. 

“And my parents are just… waiting for me to get past this ‘phase’. Been treating me weird. Feel like a stranger in my own house,” 

Hearing the word ‘phase’ and recalling how Alex acted around Willie, Julie put the pieces together and her heart ached for Alex. 

“But I don’t know, when you had us go to your place, although we were worried sick about you, Reg-” 

“As you should. You must have missed me so so much,” 

Instead of rolling his eyes or teased him, Alex draped his arm around Reggie, “We did,” he said sincerely, “But what I was saying though, Julie, is getting to hang out with Bobby and, later on, Willie. Watching Christmas movies, and baking cookies-” 

“Tricking your aunt,” 

“- it gave us a chance to do all the things we wanted to do for Christmas. Like have a normal Christmas. We got to have some fun together before we had to go back home and… deal with our own families...” 

“Lowkey kinda jealous that Reggie got to spend Christmas with you guys,” Bobby pouted, stuffing his hands in his pockets. 

“Maybe next year,” she offered wholeheartedly to everyone. 

“I’ll hold you to that, Molina,” 

She smiled at the idea of having the boys next year, wondering what it would be like. She hoped it would be just 

as fun as it looked when Alex, Bobby, and Willie were making cookies. 

But Julie wasn't at Bobby's to set Christmas plans for next year. 

“Look, I came here to talk to Luke,” her eyes roamed around the garage, searching for any sign of him. 

She caught all three boys sharing a look amongst themselves. Then she started combing through the whole room, seeing as though she wasn’t going to get any assistance. 

“You’re, like, probably hiding him from me, but I need to-” 

“He’s not here,” Alex said. 

Julie paused her search, “You’re not messing with me?” All the boys shook their heads. “Where is he then?” 

Reggie emitted an unsure noise, “Okay, we were sworn not to tell you though. Bro Code and all,” 

“That is... so not what Bro Code is,” Alex refuted, 

“Really? Isn’t it like ‘bros before... “ he smiled politely at Julie, “...other bros’?” 

“Guys!” She clapped, getting them to refocus, “Where is he?”

Bobby silently communicated with the other boys before being the one to step forward with the information: 

“He’s with his parents,” 

“ _What?_ Did they find him? Bring him back?”

“No, Julie,” Alex’s hand met her forearm, “He went home. His choice.” 

_Oh._

“He spent Christmas… with his parents?” Julie breathed out. 

“Yeah,” 

“And he’s okay? Right? He’s doing fine?” 

They all nodded, “I think so. Last we heard...” 

Julie’s eyes swept over the garage/studio space once more, and fair enough, there was no trace of Luke- all of his clothes that were left scattered about were nowhere to be seen. 

Luke had actually gone home. 

He had made up with his parents. And he didn’t spend Christmas alone in a cold garage. 

And, from what the guys had told her, he was okay. 

It warmed her heart that Luke was doing okay. 

But recollection of what she had said to him the last time she had seen him, made her feel cold all over. Had she guilted him into it? Pulling out the ‘dead mom’ card was low- and although she was happy that he was home, she felt absolutely terrible for how it had happened. 

“That’s… that’s amazing,” she broke out, stepping backwards. It really was, but- oh dear. Julie had to get out of there- she had to think. 

She held up the keys and stuck her thumb in the direction of the van, “I just need a minute. Is that okay?”

Bobby nodded and let her return to the van. 

Crossing the street and sliding into the front seat, Julie took a breather. 

Okay. 

Luke did it. He had come back to his parents. Stubborn Luke Patterson went back and made up with his parents… 

Stubborn- she had called him that. Along with a series of other things that were just… uncalled for. Things that she had said that were necessarily not true. 

At least not anymore. 

Julie would do that, didn’t she? Expect the worse out of Luke. To expect him to retain the worse of his personality that had repulsed her when they had their relationship issues. 

Like what she had said earlier on in the trip, that nothing came between him and his dreams. That music was it for him so screw anyone else. 

That might have been true years ago. (But now as she looked back on it, it might not have been). 

But Luke had changed since then. Yes, music was still his priority. But his friends came first. He cared so much for his band- _his family_ that he had been willing to risk their important gig trying to bring Reggie back home. 

Hell, he had even split his knuckles on his playing hand for _her._ To defend her. 

He didn’t have to do that. 

He didn’t have to give Carlos the Santa letter either… 

But he did. Because Luke Patterson was passionate. And that passion extended to other people, extended to wanting to help people, to connect with them- 

The whole reason he loved music. 

Julie banged her head against the steering wheel. 

She had ruined everything. 

What was she going to do? 

She needed to talk to Luke. She needed to make up for all the hurt she had caused him. To thank him for what he had done for her, for her family. 

Like how could she even begin to do all of that? How could she make him listen to her? To let him know that she wasn’t going to hurt him again. To let him know that things were going to change. For good this time. 

Lifting her head, her eyes locked in on the CD wallet on the dashboard. 

Julie reached for it, unzipped and flipped it to the back sleeves until she found it. 

The CD- ‘For Julie’. 

Luke had said… that there was a song on here. A song that he had written, with intentions to play for her, to let her know that he was trying to make it up to her. That things were going to change. That things were going to be different… 

Maybe this song could clue her in on what she must do… 

Her hands pried it out of the tight sleeve. 

Oh god. 

She was almost too scared to play it. 

This had been Luke fresh from their breakup. Whatever was on here was going to be raw and emotional and- Julie might not be able to hold herself together listening to it. 

But she needed to know. What could Luke possibly say in this song that would have made her want to change her mind. 

She inserted the CD into the player and waited. 

Once the soft plucking of an acoustic guitar enveloped the van, Julie knew she wasn’t going to emerge from this emotionally unscathed… 

_Step into my world_

_Bittersweet love story about a girl..._

_Shook me to the core_

_Voice like an angel, I’ve never heard before…_

Julie’s breath hitched, her fingers, trembling, touched her lips. 

She knew Luke had a way with words, always had. And he had written songs for her before, songs about her… 

But these lyrics… she could tell that they came from the deepest crevice of his heart. He had never written anything like this before… 

_The truth is finally breaking through_

_Two worlds collide when I'm with you_

_Our voices rise and soar so high_

_We come to life when we're_

_In perfect harmony…_

As the song went on, Julie’s fears were realized when the tears started falling. 

The way that Luke sounded on the CD, it was broken but hopeful, and above all- resolute. 

He had felt so strongly about her, about what they had- 

And he had poured everything he had into this song, everything. 

She could picture him, holding this CD, looking for her once school was back in session-

Only to find her in some other guy’s arms… 

She cried harder at that imagery of a brokenhearted Luke, knowing that she had caused it. 

And knowing that she would continue to break his heart...

When the song ended, she had to compose herself. Taking in deep inhales and exhales, she turned the stereo off. 

Julie had really blamed Luke for being the one to walk away. 

But really, every moment since he walked out her front door, Luke had been chasing after her. 

The first time was with this CD. 

And then when Brad had cheated… 

And after _Eats & Beats _… 

Oh god, Julie realized. 

Luke had spent every moment since then, making up for letting her go- 

By running after her… 

And the only reason Luke left this time around was because she let him. She kept letting him go when she should have been the one to go after him. 

That was what she must do. That was what was meant to happen… 

With newfound resolve, she brushed away her tears, ejected the CD, and ran back to the garage. The boys, all seated, looked up at her. 

She held up the CD. They all recognized it.

They were on their feet in an instant. 

“Look. I messed up. Big time," she announced, "And I need to make it up to him. Do you know when I’ll be able to catch him?”

Reggie hummed, contemplating, “Can’t say for sure. We’ll be too busy rehearsing for our show tomorrow- ohhhh,” his words finally caught up with him, “Our show! Catch him at the show!”

“Where is it?”

“At the Orpheum,” They all said together. 

Julie tilted her head.

Hold on.

Did she hear that correctly? 

_“The Orpheum?!”_

Reggie hadn’t been kidding when he had described it as an ‘ultra important, life changing gig. No wonder Luke had been pushing for the band to do their best. 

“That’s huge! Like, that’s awesome guys! Like how-?”

“The opener for _Walk the Moon_ got sick-” Bobby explained. 

Alex shuddered, “Food poisoning I think,” 

“We called in a lot of favors, and we’re filling in. Like, it’s insane!” 

“It is!” Julie laughed, getting excited with them. Then she stopped, the logistics of her next move might be proving difficult to pull off. Like, the venue- totally high profile. 

“That might throw a wrench in my plans though...” 

“Woah, don’t give up just yet. Maybe it would still work?” Reggie said, always the optimist, “Run it by us.” 

Julie blinked at them in surprise, “You guys are gonna help me?” 

“Of course,” Bobby ruffled her hair, “You’re a bro now. Isn’t it obvious?” 

“Thanks- like,” Julie just might cry again, “You guys are the best.” 

Alex pulled her in for a side hug, “Now, now. Don’t get all mushy on us just yet. What are your ideas?” 

There was a lot Julie had on her mind, a lot of tasks that she would need to complete before- shit- tomorrow night. And if the boys were willing to help her win Luke back, then maybe, just maybe, she could pull this off. 

But first thing’s first: 

“You guys got a keyboard?” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Carrie shows her true colors then I guess...
> 
> And just for a little tidbit that didn't end up being in the chapter, but Carrie had gone to the bathroom while Luke punched Brad. Luke did not see her, he would have said something to Julie. 
> 
> Anyways, what do you think Julie's gonna do to make it up to Luke?
> 
> We're coming up on the last few chapters. And letting you all know that Chapter 19 is gonna be an epilogue. 
> 
> I'm really excited that I'm going to be actually finishing a fic. It rarely happens yo...
> 
> Thanks again for all your love and support.


	18. The Orpheum

Chapter 18 ‘The Orpheum’

Julie was extremely nervous. 

A day was clearly not enough time to prepare everything she needed to do before her grand apology. 

After hearing her plan, the boys had done the best they could to help her in any way. 

They had let her use the keyboard in the studio and Bobby’s old Sony portable CD player while she workshopped her way through these additions to Luke’s song, even to go as far as running the lyrics by them (which had been really helpful). 

Julie remembered she only got as far as the second part of the first verse when Alex started smiling real big and massaged her shoulders (a thing, she realized, was a very common way these boys showed their affection). 

“He’ll love this. Trust me.” he had said, to which the others agreed. 

Having approval from Luke’s friends, who were quickly becoming hers too, meant everything to Julie and it only motivated her even more to finish this tonight so she could focus on the next stage of her plan. 

When she had mentioned that to everyone, they had stared at her with wide eyes. 

“ _ This _ isn’t it?” Reggie had exclaimed incredulously, “There’s more?” 

“I need to pull out all the stops. This is Luke here, remember?” 

And she had stuck by that. This was all for Luke, the guy who never half-assed anything, especially when his friends were involved. He deserved something huge. 

He deserved everything. 

She could only hope it would come close to making up for 3 years and a trip’s worth of arguments though. 

“Like you said: The only way to combat Luke being Luke is to be Luke,” 

The way Reggie’s face had lit up when she had internalized his advice from the day before was too infectious. She ended up smiling for the rest of the time she worked in the garage. 

Which hadn’t been too long. 

Because Luke had been due to return from his parents’ so they could squeeze in the last of their rehearsal before their gig. The group had reached the consensus to keep this a secret from the guy, right up until it was time to enact ‘Operation: Juke’ (Flynn had come up with the name and Bobby had latched onto it real quick). She had to go home and continue writing there. 

Speaking of Flynn, Julie had gotten back to her and they ended up messaging each other throughout her songwriting session at Bobby’s, throwing her own suggestions for the song as well as the plan as a whole.

(The boys ended up loving her too, to which Julie attributed it to the power of Flynn. And she knew from the get go that if Flynn ever moved to L.A that she should never leave her alone with Alex- the snark would be off the charts…)

Talking to Flynn had been amazing. Like she had totally missed this girl who she had briefly met one fateful night at Stanford. 

After she had come home (by foot, her car was still at Carrie’s- yikes!), they had spent what seemed like hours catching up and sharing stories. Julie had almost lost time figuring out the specifics of her plan because she got carried away- Flynn’s energy unmatched and too hypnotic. 

As difficult as it was to put the phone down, they both had to end the call so they could have their respective dinners. 

“Bye, underachiever!” Flynn had yelled from her bed in Berkeley, kicking her new dinosaur slippers. 

To which Julie responded by flipping her off, smiling, “See ya, disappointment!” 

How they had come to these new nicknames was beyond Julie. But she enjoyed it nonetheless. 

Dinner had been where she told her dad and Carlos what was happening. Yet during the middle of her relaying her plan and digging into their food, she had received a message from Alex. 

First snag in the plan- they couldn’t get her into the Orpheum. 

They had tried. Really. But it had been so last minute and  _ Sunset Curve _ didn’t hold much clout to their name- like the opportunity to play this historic venue was not lost on them. 

And even though they were  _ Walk the Moon’s  _ last hope for an opener, they were in no place to be making such demands at short notice. 

“Now don’t give up just yet,  _ mija _ ,” her dad had said, “We just need to think of another way.” 

“There  _ is _ another way,” 

Everyone’s heads had turned to Carlos, who already swiped Julie’s phone from her unsuspecting hands. After scrolling through whatever it was, her brother flipped the device for the whole dinner table to see what he was up to. 

“Boom,” he pointed at the screen, “Plan B.” 

Julie scooped her brother up into a hug, attacking him with kisses on the top of his head, “You genius. You freakin’ genius!” 

She had messaged Alex back that she would have it handled and proceeded to make a very important call.

An hour later, she had her in for the  _ Orpheum _ . 

With that matter settled, Julie had spent the rest of the night writing, digging through her old stuff, and rehearsing on the grand piano. 

It hadn’t been perfect, and as much as Julie wanted to take her mother’s advice to heart- 

She needed this to be perfect. It had to be. For Luke. 

And if that meant rehearsing until her fingers hurt, so be it. She had come so far already in the planning stages, pretty much all of which came from the much needed assistance of others, she couldn’t afford to mess this up. 

It hadn’t been until when Julie finally turned in for bed at an ungodly hour that it occurred to her- she had started the day surrounded by people who either didn’t know her, not really, or cared about her. 

And now, she had ended the day with a whole new set of friends, who were already down to help her and had gone to such lengths to do so. 

Their efforts had all been worth it because it had brought her here. 

The night of the gig. 

Where she was out hiding in the Orpheum. 

The actual  _ Orpheum _ . 

(Like seriously, what was her life now?)

Like in the span of the half hour since a tech snuck her in through the side door, she had shook hands with a nice lady named Tasha, who then introduced her to the freakin’ members of  _ Walk the Moon _ , who had already been briefed on the situation and were, oddly, very supportive.

(She even got them to sign her microphone- like  _ what? _ )

Promptly after meeting them, she got hooked up with fancy lemon water, given the rundown by a friendly but stressed crew member named Rob, and then was escorted to the VIP box where she would wait for further instruction… 

Nothing was real. This was all a dream. 

And she wasn’t sure if she was supposed to wake up. 

_ Wake up.  _ Julie couldn’t think about those words without thinking about her mom too. 

Her mom would have been thrilled to see her perform here. The venue always had a special place in Rose Molina’s heart, considering she had a brief stint working the bar here (just another reason why her mom had been the coolest person ever). 

Rose had always told her that she was born to take this stage. 

And now she had the chance. 

Although under unorthodox circumstances… 

“Hey, Molina,” 

Julie lifted her head at the familiar voice and grinned. 

Plan B had just arrived. 

She wrapped her arms around Nick in a tight greeting, “Hey.” 

They broke apart and they sat down next to each other on the leather couch. His hand reached for hers, and she might had seem more nervous than she thought because he had to ask, “How you holdin’ up?” 

It wasn’t until she read his eyes that she figured he wasn’t referring to her impending performance whatsoever. 

They hadn’t addressed the incident at Carrie’s house just yet, the incident that had left both her and Nick newly and officially single. And while he had seemed to anticipate Carrie to cheat on him, he had no idea that things between her and Brad had been that bad. 

He was concerned, but she shot him a smile that hopefully soothed his worries, “Pretty good. Great actually. But what about  _ you _ though?” 

“I’m fine,” he blew out a sigh, “Not entirely painless to be honest. But me and Carrie have been done for a while. Just needed the push to finally do something about it.” 

“I’m sorry though still,” 

Then, she withdrew her hand, a precursor to an awkward conversation that was bound to happen when she bit the bullet and asked: 

“It wasn’t… because of me right?” 

The boy shook his head, his fedora nearly falling off his head, “Nope. Not at all. Whatever happened between me and Carrie had been, well, between me and Carrie.” 

“But like, did you… ever have a crush on me though? Not saying that Carrie was right or anything but…” she shrugged, “Did you? Like just curious.” 

Nick’s eyes grew soft and he chuckled, “Yeah. Like back in elementary school, and maybe in middle school too. I can admit that now.”

Huh. So Luke had been right then. 

If he had been here to hear this, then, oh boy, would that validate his jealous streak. 

“But then I got with Carrie and it pretty much ended there. I mean, you were the first girl I liked and I’m always gonna be fond of you, but it’s not like I still, you know, uh-” he stammered, trying to convey what he was meant to convey without seeming weird. 

“...well, uh, god, am I making sense?” 

“Yeah. It makes sense. Basically what I’m getting at is that we’re still friends,” she translated, laughing goodnaturedly. 

She offered her hand. 

He shook it, “Friends,” 

And just like that they were good. 

She reclined onto the seat, attempting to not notice the celebrities currently occupying the VIP box with her. Her focus was on Nick so as to conceal her inner freak out. The reality of tonight had washed over her after sneaking a glance at the stage- 

Where a keyboard had been set up along with the rest of the band’s instruments… 

“Thanks for coming down here tonight,” she told him earnestly, “And for helping out.” 

“Well it’s not everyday Julie Molina asks if she could take advantage of your dads’ connections to the music biz,” 

She punched him in the shoulder, “Hey!”

Julie knew how it must have sounded. There was that smidge of guilt she harbored deep inside for asking not only for Nick’s help, but for everyone’s help in her plan. 

Like it was the boys’ show, their big debut into the L.A music scene. And here she was, making it all about her. 

The boys had assured her this was fine, but what would Luke think? 

The frightening thought had crossed her mind- that Luke would not only find her display useless but treat it as a total hindrance to the trajectory of the band’s success tonight. 

There was a chance that he would only not forgive her but maybe also even hate her for inserting herself into the show. 

Julie did not want to be the Offset to Luke’s Cardi B. 

(Oh she bet Luke would  _ enjoy _ being compared to Cardi B if he could read her mind just now) 

Nick simply grinned at her violent tendencies, hands up in surrender, “No, it’s okay. Like honestly!” 

“Really?” 

“I know you would never ask unless it’s important. And it is important, right?” 

Julie nodded.  _ It is _ . 

“So…” he drew out, as he kicked back further into the love seat, “you’re trying to win back Luke Patterson, huh? Must have been some trip.” 

“It was,” 

“He makes you happy?” 

“He does,” 

“And that’s why I’m doing this. Not totally a fan of Luke just yet,” He extended his head, lowering his voice, “You know that guy smacked peanut butter onto my face in like 5th grade, right? Don’t think I’ve forgotten.”

His tone had been teasing, but Julie could see he was still miffed about the whole thing, which she found so hilarious. 

“If we’re successful, then I will make sure you get an apology,” 

Julie should have known better than to make promises she wasn’t sure she could keep, but Nick picked up on it, probably remembering who exactly they were talking about. 

“Not holding my breath, Molina,” 

Alex chose this moment to walk in, with Willie in tow. 

She waved at them- er, well, more at Willie in particular. Because this may be the first time she was properly meeting the guy who had helped scheme her out of a grounding. As well as fix her stove. 

“Woah, I love  _ The Ramones _ ,” were the first words out of the guy’s mouth. 

Julie looked down at the shirt she was wearing, the carbon copy of the one Luke wore, her fingers hovering over the band’s logo. 

“Thanks, Willie. Nice to finally meet you,” 

“Same here. Can’t wait to see you perform! Alex here showed me your video from Seattle, and can I just say?” he gave a chef’s kiss with his free hand. 

His free hand? 

Oh hold on.

Her eyes went to the boys’ conjoined hands. 

Now  _ that _ was an interesting development. 

Julie raised an eyebrow at Alex. She so badly wanted to ask what had exactly gone down between the two at her house for Alex to bring Willie along to their show- backstage pass and all. 

She would have to save her comments for later because Alex looked serious. She hadn’t been able to catch sight of the boys earlier when she had been backstage, so she figured this was important. 

“Hey Julie, we came to tell you that everything’s set up. So you’re all good to go,” he informed. 

“How much time do I have?” 

“20 minutes. Rob’s gonna come by soon and bring you out,” 

“I’ll be ready,” 

“Sweet,” 

Alex led Willie to the free spot next to Nick. The long haired boy took a seat and introduced himself to the blonde in the fedora. They shook hands. 

“So, uh, I’ll see you afterwards, ok?” Alex said, hands stuffed in his pockets because he must not know what to do with them now since he was no longer holding Willie’s. 

“I’ll be waiting. Good luck up there, Hot Dog,”

Julie angled her head to look at Alex, legs crossed. 

_ ‘Hot Dog?’ _ she mouthed, a slight smirk on her lips. 

Alex inflicted a kick to her leg for that while all the while smiling shyly at Willie, “See ya later,”

Before the drummer could leave, he spoke to Nick, “Uh, thanks again. For… everything.” 

One eye swipe to the backstage pass dangling off of Willie’s neck made Julie’s jaw drop and she turned to her friend. 

“ _ You _ did that?” 

Nick shrugged, “I must be the best wingman ever.” 

“Like hell you are,” 

And now Bobby made his entrance, pointing between Alex and Willie, “You see this? My work, Hat Man.” 

“Oh my god,” Alex’s face fell into his hands while Willie burst into a giggle fit. And again, Nick’s hands were raised placating, not wanting to start beef. 

Bobby tugged the embarrassed Alex towards the exit, warning him to return before Luke noticed they were missing. 

“Luke  _ still _ has no clue?” Julie asked. 

Bobby wiggled his eyebrows and played with his fingers, maniacally. “He won’t know what hit him,” And then he eyed Nick again, “Now what are you doing here?” 

At first, Julie was going to jump in and reiterate Nick’s role in the plan, but said boy leapt out of his seat, as if he remembered something important. 

“You’re right, man. Thanks for reminding me,” 

Okay, now Julie was lost, “Wha-?” 

Nick’s leg was already swinging over the velvet rope separating the VIP box and the rest of the audience, “You’ll see! But good luck, Molina. Go get ‘em!” 

“Thanks!” she called back to her friend’s retreating form, disappearing in the crowd. 

* * *

Alex and Bobby had returned to where they needed to meet up before Rob came to the box and led her backstage. 

She was insanely nervous. Beyond nervous, or as Alex had commented yesterday ‘yak-in-a-bowl’ nervous…

In a few minutes, she would be on the stage, performing her heart out in front of a big crowd. 

And to think she would be as ready as she had claimed to be… but no. 

She only had picked up singing and performing again just this week, after more than 3 years of not doing either. And she had been trying to play herself out of retirement and re-hone her skills just yesterday and little during today. 

The boys had offered to rehearse with her, to back her up when she finally did this. But she couldn’t let them waste any of their limited rehearsal time on her. Besides, she needed to do this on her own. 

This would be her first time performing solo in years… 

So many things could go wrong. And with all the secrecy surrounding her performance, she hadn’t been able to go through sound check or run the song through in this new space- 

But also how fitting. This was a very much a Luke plan and to come in with little prep work was something the guitarist would do. 

Her anxiety was in some sick way a homage to the boy she was trying to woo. 

Regulating her breathing and running through vocal exercises she had memorized, Julie was handed her microphone, already on and plugged into their system. 

Rob was in the middle of giving her a refresher on the instructions he had given her earlier when all of the sudden his hand touched his earpiece, and his demeanor shifted. 

Scoping out their surroundings, panic shrouding his sharp features, he had her stand behind the curtain- 

-right when  _ Sunset Curve  _ treaded up the steps leading to the stage. She clamped a hand over her mouth so they couldn’t hear her breathe. 

Julie must have been well concealed behind the scaffolding and curtain because none of them noticed her. Not even Luke, who, after finishing conversing with Rob, was currently eyeing everything with such suspicion that Julie feared she had already been found out. 

“Guys, why am I just hearing that our call time got pushed?” 

“Wha? Pushed? No, we were always meant to go on at 8:10,” Alex covered for her. Barely. 

“Like why 8:10? And,” Luke pointed out onto the stage, “why’s there a keyboard?” 

“Reggie wants to improv on ‘Bright’” 

She heard Luke huff, “Again, I’m hearing about this  _ now _ ?” 

The volume of the background music lowered considerably, signaling a transition. 

“Welcome to  _ Live at the Orpheum _ . We have a great show planned for you guys, about to bring on our opener  _ Sunset Curve _ real soon,”

Now hold on- the announcer, his voice… 

Julie spared a peek past the stage to find Nick in the mixer’s booth with microphone in hand, acting as the MC for the evening. 

So that was where he had gone off to!

(Okay, Nick’s family must really have sway with the Orpheum because they honestly were just cool with everything happening here and with short notice too…) 

“No freakin’ way,” 

Whoops. 

Turned out Luke recognized the MC too, given how pissy his voice got. He craned his neck and sought out the booth, eyes as big as saucers, “ _ What the hell is Danforth-Evans doing here?”  _

Reggie shrugged, “Who knows, really? But I think he’s gonna say something really important, so let’s just be quiet,” 

“But-!” 

_ “SHHH!”  _ The rest of the band drowned him out before Nick continued his monologue. 

“But first, we have a very special guest who wants to jump in with a quick song. Ladies, gents, and non-binary friends, give it up for for  _ Julie Molina _ !” 

_ Alright. Here goes nothing.  _

Sliding the curtain back, she revealed her presence to the band, startling them. Julie didn’t have time to study their expressions, Luke’s in particular, because she forced herself to go on stage before she lost the nerve. 

The background music had been cut, she walked on with a scattering of confused applause but mostly silence. 

Sliding her microphone into its stand, she warmed up the crowd. 

“Hey, everyone. This isn’t gonna take too long I promise and we’ll get back to your regularly scheduled program.” 

Her fingers tickled the keys on the keyboard to test it out. It was on. 

_Of course it was, the hell were you thinking, Julie?_

She cleared her throat, “Alright, I’m gonna be honest with you all. I’m gunning for a Heath Ledger kind of moment and I’m kinda scared that it’s not gonna work out. Here’s to shooting my shot.”

Now that loosened the audience up, titters and whoops erupting from various spots in the crowd. (She swore Willie had been a source for one of those whoops). 

“This song goes out to someone that I… really care about,” 

Now that was understatement… 

The way she felt for Luke went beyond that, went deeper than that. 

But she would get into that later. Much later into the night if all goes well in the next 10 minutes… 

Steeling herself, Julie pressed on, speaking mostly to the crowd. 

“I know it hasn’t been smooth sailing between us, and there are times I just wanna wring your neck. And times I sure you wanna do the same. And there are times when we take it too far… where  _ I  _ take it too far. So here’s me saying: Luke...” 

Turning her head, their eyes met. 

His expression was cloudy, not easy to read. He was stunned for sure, but Julie couldn’t tell if it was working in her favor. 

He couldn’t blink, he just watched her, arms folded, with curiosity. 

She offered a smile. 

“...I’m sorry.”

Wrenching her gaze from him, Julie settled into the piano bench, adjusting the mic stand to be at mouth level. 

Julie conducted her ritual:  _ breathe in, breath out _ . 

Then she closed her eyes and sang: 

_ “Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight…”  _ Her voice shook, drawing out the words slowly.

A soft cheer washed over the space, some people already recognizing the song in this slowed, stripped down version of it… 

Luke sure would. It had come from one of his favorite bands after all… 

And cue piano accompaniment… 

_ “Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight... Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight... ”  _ Eyes open, they were now trained on Luke, “ _ with you…”  _

Julie did her best to quell the fire in her insides as Luke held their eye contact while she serenaded him- oh god, how unnerving the intensity of his gaze was, how greatly it scared her and thrilled her just look into his hazel eyes while she was on stage… 

Despite that, the lyrics flowed out of her, the words conveying her sadness, her desire for reconciliation… her journey to this point where she wanted reconciliation… 

_ Where is Santa at his sleigh? _

_ Tell me why is it always this way? _

_ Where is Rudolph? Where is Blitzen, baby? _

Apart from being from  _ The Ramones _ , this song couldn’t have been more appropriate. 

For years, Christmas had been lost to her and it had taken so long to find it again. 

Luke had helped bring it back- 

As much as it had been wonderful, there had been one thing she had been missing on Christmas day… 

And he was there, in the corner, refraining from reacting... 

_ All the children are tucked in their beds _

_ Sugar-plum fairies dancing in their heads _

_ Snowball fighting, it's so exciting baby _

The mention of ‘snowball fighting’ broke their staring contest, with Luke shutting his eyes and throwing his head back, biting his lip. 

She knew what that meant. And with the boys grinning behind him, they knew too. 

Julie wanted to call an early victory, the song finally getting through to him… 

But then she remembered the bridge, remembered what she was to sing next, and her face turned solemn. 

She maintained eye contact, even though she wanted to avert her gaze, her soul would soon be exposed when she said the next few lines:

_ I love you and you love me _

_ And that's the way it's got to be… _

_ “I-I l-loved you from the start…”  _

Shit. She didn’t intend to stutter. 

But it had been the way Luke dropped his arms, posture straightening up, visibly reacting to what basically was her confession. 

She… loved him. 

She really did. 

Oh god, how much she loved him. 

She couldn't believe that it had taken her this long to figure it out. 

Love was why she would do something as crazy as this- and she needed for him to know that. 

_ “...Cause Christmas ain't the time for breaking each other's heart, oh-” _

A beat dropped and Julie almost lost her place.  _ What-? _

Whipping around to the source, still playing the piano, she saw someone had decided to join her on stage. 

It was Alex. 

He had snuck behind her during her set and started improvising a drum beat before settling on the one resembling most to the acoustic version of the song. 

Then a tinkle of bells popped up beside her- and it was now Reggie, hitting sleigh bells against his leg, keeping up with Alex’s rhythm, hitting every other beat. 

And then Bobby came roaring in with his electric- a little extra at first, before toning down and letting Julie’s keys and voice take the lead. He winked at her. 

The band’s impromptu arrival earned a great amount of cheering from the crowd and a surprised, but grateful laugh from Julie. 

The boys regarded her warmly, eyes twinkling with the message ‘we got you’ as they sang backup into their mics, and like her, they only faced stage right. Where Luke stood to the side, head bobbing to the new energy the performance took on, him shaking his head fondly at the display, and he couldn’t fight it anymore- 

He was smiling. 

Was it because of the audience’s reaction? Because of the boys? 

She didn’t care. 

That smile was all Julie needed. 

She punched a button on the keyboard, looping her part, and taking the mic from its stand, she rounded the bench and the keyboard. 

Her voice belted out the rest, as she made her way closer to Luke…

_ Merry Christmas I don’t want to fight tonight _

_ Merry Christmas I don’t want to fight tonight _

She went as far as the edge, as far as she could while still visible to the swaying crowd. 

Luke was rooted to the spot, not making a move to come near. Good thing too. Because if had stepped into her space, there was nothing stopping her from dropping her mic and going to hold him close, screw how many people were watching. 

He was mouthing the words right back, his foot doing that tapping thing she loved so much. His hand cradled his own face, cooling the blossoming blush on his cheeks, and for a second he carried himself like how a girl would upon receiving a public proposal. 

With that in mind, Julie dropped to her knees, much to the appreciation of the crowd, really selling that rockstar image, hand outstretched (was it possible that she saw his fingers twitch, wanting to reach back?) But even with all the dramatics, the sentiment bled through. 

Her, on the floor, this was her conceding, surrendering. 

_ “Merry Christmas, I don't want to fight tonight with….you!”  _

Her eyes drilled into his once more, the last note thundering out of her as the applause turned into uproar at the showcasing of her vocal range. 

She was left breathless, the arm holding the mic falling limply onto her lap. She couldn’t register what was happening, her senses overwhelmed with the sound of the crowd, the microphone feedback, her hummingbird heart beating… 

The boys hauled her to her feet because she was so dazed, and then in the next moment, when she looked up… 

Luke was gone. 

“Shit,” she heard Alex say. A bunch of techs were waving him and the boys over, tapping their wrists frantically- they were being called away for something. 

They shared a look with each other, gave a hurried bow and were off, presumably to wherever Luke had gone off to. 

And Julie was left on stage alone. Left wondering what Luke thought of her song… 

She could see Nick in the booth, cheering, phone in his hand, and Willie on his feet, sending her two giant thumbs up from the VIP box. 

It was enough to bring her out of her state. 

She smiled at everyone, waving, “Thanks for indulging me. Goodnight. Happy New Years everyone.” 

* * *

Much like the aftermath of her  _ Eats & Beats _ performance, she was welcomed offstage with high-fives and congratulations, the crew regarding her with a new sense of appreciation and awe. 

Like she got it, the crew must have not expected such a performance from someone whose friend pulled strings to get her there, but she didn’t care. She just wanted to find Luke. 

They must be elsewhere backstage, but before she could ask, she was being whisked away by Rob who informed her that she needed to go back to the VIP booth while they reset for  _ Sunset Curve _ ’s set. 

Not wanting to put Rob through the wringer by refusing, Julie ended up back in the VIP section with Nick and Willie. 

They gave her the same rockstar treatment when she returned, hugging her, hyping her up, and assuring her that Luke would be crazy not to accept her sweet gesture. Which was nice and all, but she would rather hear it from the boy herself. 

They had her sit down, giving her water to reduce the full body buzz she was experiencing post-performance. 

By the time her entire person had calmed down, allowing herself to bask in her accomplishment, it was Julie’s turn to be the audience and watch the boys perform. 

Julie had never been present to a live  _ Sunset Curve  _ show, only having heard their stuff on their demo and the little snippet she had heard during their rehearsal days ago. 

Her thoughts about Luke and his reaction to the song were tucked away, her mind currently being blown by the hurricane of a spectacle that was the band. 

Luke, already a dynamo on stage, was fueled by Alex’s drums breathing life into every song, Reggie’s bouncing around as he let loose on the bass, and Bobby’s rhythm guitar- hyping up not only the crowd, but Luke’s playing. 

It was magic. There was no better way to describe it. 

She had hopped to her feet, thrashing around to the songs she had grown familiar with during the past few days driving with Luke. Grabbing onto both Willie and Nick, they all rocked out, losing themselves into the sound. 

They would screech phrases when it was called for, clapping along with everyone during the break in ‘Now or Never’, waving their arms to the epic ballad that was ‘Bright'. Just incredible. 

And Luke, up there on the mic, with no worries or care at all it seemed, throwing his guitar over his shoulder right when the pyrotechnics kicked in - it was where he was meant to be. 

And if things didn’t work out between them after tonight, Julie considered herself pretty damn lucky to bear witness to the start of what could be  _ Sunset Curve _ ’s meteoric rise to fame. She was lucky to be able to watch Luke in his element, if this were to be the last time… 

But then it came to a close all too soon. Or really had been an hour, but Julie really didn’t notice, too enraptured by the band’s performance. 

When it was time for intermission, typically when the opener would loiter in the lobby trying to peddle their merch to a small crowd, Julie decided that it was her opportunity to see the boys. 

Leaving the VIP booth with Willie and Nick, they queued up in a steadily growing line leading to the merch table. 

It didn’t take long to reach the front when quite a number of people kept bowing out of the line to return to the floor, not wanting to miss the chance to push to the front for  _ Walk the Moon _ . 

Once they did, the boys were on their feet, bounding over the table of T-shirts and hats, and enveloped Julie in a bone crushing hug, their compliments overlapping each other excitedly. 

“Julie, you knocked it out of the park!” 

“Not to sound like an old lady but ‘that shit breathtaking yo’”

“You did good. Sorry we couldn’t tell you that before our set,” 

She squeezed them all tight, “Thanks guys. Thanks for coming up there with me.”

“Julie?” 

They broke apart upon hearing Luke, who was the only left behind the table. 

The air between them had grown thick, and everyone was feeling it. 

Noticing this, Luke cleared his throat, eyes snapping to his shoes then to her face. He cocked his head to the side, finger guns pointing towards the alcove near the stairs. 

Oh boy. Time to talk. 

“Let’s, uh, try to sell more merch,” Bobby cut in, pulling everyone’s focus, “Right, Reg?” 

The bassist smiled knowingly, “Already ahead of you,” He slipped off a rubber band from a rolled up T-shirt and waved it like a flag, calling out to random passersby: 

“Excuse me miss, I got your T-shirt right here. C’mon! It’s a size: beautiful!” 

Alex sighed, “You guys should have let him in Seattle…” 

And then his attention had been diverted to Willie, already striking up a conversation with him and blushing from the other boy’s praises. 

Nick squeezed her shoulder encouragingly before gently nudging her in the direction Luke had started walking to. 

Once having some semblance of privacy- 

“You hijacked my gig?”

And already straight to the point. 

“I’d like to see it as ‘opening’ for you guys,” she remarked carefully, testing the waters. 

He raised an eyebrow, “Opening for the opener?” 

“Gotta start somewhere, amiright?” 

“Never got a notice,” his nose scrunched up, mouth pursed, “A notice would have been nice...”

“I know. But I needed to get your attention,”

“Well, you got it,”

“Yeah,” 

Silence. 

Okay, so Luke wasn’t mad. But he wasn’t as lively as the boys had been when they saw her either. 

Unsure on how to navigate the conversation, Julie resorted to a topic change. 

“I know the Santa letter was from you,”

Luke retreated further into himself, hands rubbing his bare arms self-consciously. Julie was convinced he was going to deny it, give credit to Santa. 

He scratched the back of his head abashedly, “Technically it was from Alex. He wrote it. I think the messy handwriting would have given me away.”

“Definitely not the ‘s’ in ‘Claus’ getting stretched into a curve…” 

He must have not checked the letter before stuffing the envelope with the dahlia keychain because he closed eyes, cursing out Alex’s name, “It was supposed to be inconspicuous I swear-” 

“Carlos loved it. He really needed that. Like, it really made his Christmas. ”

“He’s a good kid” his hand gesticulated at her, “It was supposed to be for you, but after he and I talked… figured he needed it more.” 

He had really thought about it that far ahead? Back since the diner? That explained how he knew exactly what Carlos wanted for Christmas… 

“I don’t even mind,” 

There was some light chatter echoing from their right and so they began strolling through their corner of the Orpheum, climbing up the stairs that led to the upper level seats for some more privacy. 

Resting against an ornately carved and gilded column, Julie felt safe enough to broach something personal, 

“So... you’re home again. With your family,”

He nodded, resting his elbows on the railing and kicking his foot against the carpet. 

“Is it… all good?” she inquired. 

“Uh… yeah. Actually it is,” 

“That’s nice,” 

“Yeah. But well, it’s because, you know,” he beckoned her to inch forward, as if he was about to reveal a secret. 

“Someone had once told me that life is short. Too short to let… the little things get in the way of us being together with the ones we love?” 

Julie winced at her words from the argument reflected back at her, though Luke meant no offense by them, a ghost of a smile playing on his lips as he said them. 

“Well… which is what I’m assuming what they would have said. I might have cut them off,” he whispered. 

“I’m sorry,” she articulated through her hands framing her mouth. 

“I got that. With the song,” 

“I don’t expect you to forgive me just like that,” 

“Yeah,” he clicked his tongue, resuming his languid stance against the railing, “A song isn’t just gonna fix everything.” 

Again, her words echoed back to her. No malice. 

Julie was hopeful. “But?” 

He sighed. A long, drawn out sigh meant to make her wait with poorly concealed anticipation. Then the dips at the corners of his mouth lifted, his head rolled back as he stared at her once more- a genuine smile on his face, 

“But it’s a start.” 

As if she had been waiting on bated breath, Julie relaxed against the column. Luke didn’t hate her. The song had worked. They were on the road to recovery. 

And he was smiling. At her. 

She smiled back, “You guys were awesome up there. By the way,” 

“Thanks,” he said, preening at her praise. 

“Didn’t expect anything less from  _ Sunset Curve _ ,” 

“Miracle that I even got through the set. Kept getting… distracted,” 

Julie’s cheeks took on a rosier hue at that. 

She wasn’t going to say anything, but she assumed since the VIP box had a perfect view of the stage, those on stage could spot out the VIP section with no obstruction. Julie had hoped that all the staring he had been throwing towards their section had been for her… 

And that meant Luke definitely had definitely seen her fangirl over him and the band. 

Which would have been really embarrassing to say the least, if Julie could find it in herself to care. She was showing her support for the band, there really wasn’t any shame in it. 

But it had been how Luke gave her a little once over when he had said that which sparked her blushing frenzy. 

“Maybe, uh, you should have included more Christmas in your lineup,” she said, veering away from her flustered state, “Seemed to be your forte back at the wedding.” 

“Or maybe ‘The Book of Love’?” Luke stood up, fully facing Julie now, “I know you sent it. To my mom. Kinda the first thing we talked about after we… we cleared the air,” 

“Did she like it?” 

His hands curling around hers and pulling it close seemed to answer for him. 

“Yeah. She did. Loved it actually. We’re not totally okay, but I think she’s more open to my plans. After seeing what I can do.”

Julie was relieved that the prefacing with the video had worked, that it had been enough to make a breakthrough with Emily. If only she could have shared the experience of the real deal, being there live to watch him perform, so she would be able to  _ feel _ Luke’s music as well. It could really change everything for him- 

But baby steps. Baby steps. 

“I’m glad. I’m glad things worked out with your mom,” 

“Yeah. I missed her. And dad too. It was good to come home and not be bitter. To not fight. It was honestly all I could ever ask for this Christmas,” His thumb smoothed out the back of her hand, “Well, almost...” 

“That actually reminds me…” she looked down at their hands, “I still need to give you your present,” 

“That,” Luke’s jerked in the direction of the stage, “wasn’t my present?” Bewilderment written on his face which made her chuckle. 

“ _ That _ was an apology. Your present is actually back at my place. Do you mind if we go? After you’re wrapped up with tonight?”

“There _was_ gonna be an afterparty with the guys from  _ Walk the Moon _ -” 

“Oh, right. Sorry-” 

“-so of course I’ll come,”

Julie's spirits were lifted, "Great," 

"Great." he repeated, and if  possible, Luke’s smile only grew. 

Julie could get drunk off that smile if she allowed herself to… it was so easy to... 

But she couldn’t give into him now. 

She needed to have her wits about her when she would move forward with the next phase of her plan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Changed the chapter count again people! I swear this is the last time. This part had gotten too long and I needed to split it. 
> 
> Pulled a bit of a bait and switch on ya there, didn't I? I had this song planned as the apology song from the start, which is why I had Luke wear the Ramones shirt for majority of the story. I thought it was perfect in terms of the story. 
> 
> (Please give the Joey Ramones version a listen. That was what I had in mind for the story- with the addition of keyboard). 
> 
> The whole thing with the Orpheum, as purely illogical as it is, only serves to make Julie's plan to surprise Luke to be super cute and super grand. None of this would ever happen in real life, but come on. It's pretty great. 
> 
> Threw in some references in there- one regarding a certain conspiracy theory floating around the fandom, also a certain headcanon regarding Nick's parentage (and him as the announcer was a total callback to Episode 5). 
> 
> And if you guys had read my other fic 'Two Doors Down', you may find the significance in Reggie exclaiming, "There's more," 
> 
> And a lot of throwback to previous chapters- Julie's words, the Ramones shirt- it really felt like everything is coming to a close. 
> 
> The next chapter is where we finally get Perfect Harmony, and we'll see what happens afterwards. 
> 
> I'm currently working on it right now. I really want it to be, no pun intended, perfect for you guys. 
> 
> Hope you enjoyed this chapter :)


	19. Molina Household Part III

Chapter 19 ‘Molina Household Part III

They had waited until the show was over. 

After relinquishing their merch table to the capable hands of Bobby’s mom, everyone had enjoyed the rest of the concert from the VIP section. 

Julie had been sandwiched between these tall friends of hers the entire time, bumping into them constantly while they danced to the beat.

She had pretended to be annoyed with them, but in reality she was having a blast with this rowdy bunch. 

She had her arms slung over two of the boys, each song with a new pair of them wrapped around in her hold.

She would have Bobby on her right and Reggie on her left for one song, then it would change to Alex and Luke, or to Nick and Alex, Reggie, and Willie- 

But no matter who she had been with, they had made good singing partners, always down to yell out lyrics. 

Even the power of _Walk the Moon_ ’s music was able to bridge some sort of weird truce between Luke and Nick.

At one point during the night, Luke had accidentally latched onto the lapels of Nick’s blazer while getting worked up over ‘Jenny’ which resulted in some sort of duo headbanging and back-to-back air guitar playing. 

(The two had scrambled apart once the song ended of course. Neither one of them were willing to admit that had just happened.)

When the show had winded down, the band began getting bombarded with handshakes and business cards from people within the VIP box, engaging them all in serious conversations regarding the future of _Sunset Curve_. 

Some had even slipped a few cards to Julie as well, claiming she had the ‘right stuff’.

Although it had never been her intention to get a record deal out of tonight, Julie couldn’t help but feel flattered having her talents recognized by people in the business. 

She had looked around at the boys, all listening intently to whoever was it that was trying to pitch them a deal. All of the engrossed in the conversation- 

Except for Luke. 

Luke, who had been waiting for something like this to happen ever since they were little kids, was preoccupied. His eyes had been on her the whole time she was speaking to Miss Whoever who represented Something Records. 

Despite all the attention the band had been getting from celebrities, promoters, and scouts alike in the box, Luke had cut talks short, throwing on his jacket and leaving the rest of the guys to handle band business. 

He had then let Julie lead him out the stage door where an Uber waited to take them back to her place. 

“I trust them,” he had told her in the backseat, “Not like we’re gonna agree to anything tonight.” 

But still, that pang of guilt hit her. She really was keeping Luke from living his rockstar life. He could have been schmoozing with potential managers at some club with _Walk the Moon_ right now. 

Instead of riding in a smelly Uber towards her house, where her dad and brother were probably sleeping. 

That meant she really had to ensure this present was worth it. 

They rolled up to her house, the Christmas lights eliciting a gasp from Luke when they left the car. 

“When did you-?” He laughed, taking it all in.

The rainbow of lights blinked at them, welcoming, not set to any sort of rhythm or pattern but it had been a feat for Carlos and dad to figure out the different configurations. 

“Wow. Just like…” 

“Old times?” she finished, walking towards her house. 

“Yeah,” 

Julie would tell him all about the whirlwind of a Christmas night some other time. For now, she needed to show him something. 

Luke was about to head for the front door, but she had to steer him towards the gate, down the garden steps, and- 

He caught on where she was taking him, and he kept hanging back, forcing her to pause and face him. His eyes would convey ‘are you sure?’, and she would nod and tug him along anyway. 

The studio had been tidied up since Julie had unlocked it only days ago, appearing more vibrant and lively than it was.

Not exactly back to its former glory, but it had stopped Luke dead in his tracks when she opened the doors and flipped the switch. 

Julie was patient, recognizing the need for him to take a moment. 

This had not only been her mom’s studio, but a classroom of sorts.

This was where she had taught her and Luke all about music, where she had introduced them to artists of the past, let them play and experiment with sound. 

Back when Luke wasn’t strong enough to hold down strings for a period of time, back before he had picked up the habit of sticking picks in his mouth, back when ‘My Name is Luke’ was in its early stages of being written. 

Luke had grown up here too. It was just as much of his studio as it was hers, and her mom’s. 

And Julie felt a great deal of shame barring him from the place that had been, for him, the birthplace for his love of music… 

In a trancelike state, Luke stalked to the couch- his couch- as he had used to call it. He had been there to help pick it out for the studio. 

He didn’t sit, only running his fingers on the contours of the worn out leather, “Everything looks the same.” 

“It does,” Julie grabbed her mom’s six-string from it’s stand, “Can you take this?” 

Luke stumbled backwards, hands darting to his chest, “But-” 

“She would want you to use it. Trust me,” she said, taking his fingers and wrapping it around the neck until secure. 

And she was soon at the piano, sinking onto the bench. Luke followed and planted himself beside her, being mindful of the guitar in his right hand. 

The sheet music for her mom’s song laid on top of the piano. 

“She had left this for me,” she slid them over so Luke could read it. 

“Julie, this is-” his Adam’s apple bobbed, scanning the lyrics with awe, “this is beautiful. And you played it?”

“I did,” she leaned against his side, reminiscing about that night, the spiritual experience she had undergone- something that wouldn’t have been possible if it weren’t for him. 

“And it did what music was meant to do: connect. Helped me connect with mom, with Carlos, my dad. Music did that, and... I want to thank you. For reminding me that.” 

Luke’s shoulders slumped, his features softening, floored that his words had such a profound effect on her. 

“Y-You’re welcome,”

Julie nodded. She gathered her mom’s papers and set it aside, swapping it out for her journal on the outer corner of the piano- where she had left it this morning. 

Cracking it open and flipping through the book, she confessed:

“I, uh listened to your CD.” 

“Oh,” 

“To be fair, it said ‘For Julie’,” 

“Sorry, it’s just,” he laughed nervously, scratching the curly ends of his unruly hair, “I never thought you’d ever hear it. It’s been a long time since I wrote it.” 

She landed on the right page, “Do you remember the words?” 

He contemplated lying, Julie could read him so well. But in the sanctity that was their studio, he caved. 

“...yes,” 

“Good.” She gestured at the guitar, “you start then.”

“W-why?” he stammered, nearly dropping the instrument. 

She peered over at him, pleading, “Just do it.”

It had been in her voice, the same resolute tone that he had taken on while recording the song all those years ago.

In seconds, Luke slipped on the rainbow strap and was propping himself up against the side of the piano, testing the strings, tuning them if need be. 

He counted himself in, plucking the notes confidently- no different now than when he had played it on the CD. 

_“Step into my world… “_ he sang, eyes closed, immersing himself into the words, _“Bittersweet love story ‘bout a girl…”_

The girl in question watched him, captivated. She didn’t expect him to perform it how she had imagined for him to- giving it his all, words dripping with regret with a hint of hope.

Julie was so struck by his voice that she momentarily forgot why she had him play it in the first place. 

_“_ _Shook me to the core… Voice like an angel… I've never heard before,”_

The introduction of the piano stopped Luke mid-breath, and his eyes flew open and were fixed on her. Not once has he fumbled with the guitar, yet she could tell he was wondering what was going on. 

His surprise grew once Julie opened her mouth to sing- 

_“Here in front of me...Shining so much brighter than I have ever seen...”_

Luke’s mouth parted, hearing these new lyrics. Julie had the book open to reference, but she hadn’t spared a glance down on the pages once, her words already internalized. 

Her vision was only filled with Luke. 

_“Life can be so mean….But when he goes…. “_

Julie’s heart skipped, memories of Luke walking out, walking away from her- immediately followed by every single instance he reached for her, took her by the hand to make sure she was alright, never once stopped caring about her. 

_“...I know he doesn't leave,”_

She heard him curse, the context of her lyrics hitting him full force, yet he couldn’t look away. 

Without needing to communicate, they plunged into the chorus, their voices already working in tandem as if they had rehearsed this many times before. 

_The truth is finally breaking through_

_Two worlds collide when I'm with you_

_Our voices rise and soar so high_

_We come to life when we're_

_In perfect harmony_

They were so in sync it wasn’t even funny. How come it was this easy? How natural it was to be singing with him? To perform with him? That no matter how long they were apart, this- _this_ \- could never change. 

Julie could even fathom fostering a connection like this with someone else. No one could even come close to the way Luke bolsters her voice, the way he makes her feel. It never was just two people singing when it was them-

-it had always been one sound. 

_“You set me free...You and me together is more than chemistry,”_ she jumped in, throwing Luke off once more. 

Though if the way he was grinning at her was any indication, he didn’t mind, not with all these new lyrics being thrown his way. More for him to dissect, more for him to learn about how she felt… 

_You make me a better writer_ she wanted to tell him, 7th grade Luke’s statement ringing true even now. 

A fire danced in his otherwise cool eyes, seeming to be say- 

_I think we make each other better._

On the same channel as always. 

_“Love me as I am… “ she rang out, “I'll hold your music here inside my hands”_

He left the piano, strumming his guitar, circling her, taking lead on the chorus. As if the words hadn’t already been all-consuming, hearing them passing her from behind was something else.

His mouth had briefly brushed against her hair, giving her goosebumps. 

Stopping on the opposite side of her, foot on the bench to support the guitar, Luke’s body fully faced her. His gaze flickered down for a second. They both knew the next line coming… 

_“We-_ shit _”_ he laughed ruefully, the irony of his lyrics coming back to haunt him, “Shit.” 

Julie merely repeated her piano, allowing Luke to do the same, cycling through the measures before he could find his place. 

Clearing his throat, he stared at her poignantly. 

_“We say it’s the end…”_

_“...we play pretend-”_ she responded, not missing a beat. 

_“You're more to me…”_

_“....we're everything,”_

Then together, _“Our voices rise and soar so high… We come to life when we're…in perfect harmony.”_

 _“I feel your rhythm in my heart, yeah-yeah”_ she inched towards him, her hands lingering on the keys. 

Luke threw his head back, belting out, _“You are my brightest, burning star, woah-woah”_

_“I never knew a love so real!”_

_“We're heaven on earth, melody and words… When we are together we're… in perfect harmony,“_

_We say it’s the end_

Luke lowered himself onto the bench next to her. 

_We play pretend_

She tilted her head forward, not breaking their stare down. 

_You're more to me_

Their noses were barely touching..

_We create…_

_“A perfect harmony.”_ They finished. 

Eyes on her, he slipped off her mom’s guitar, setting it safely down on the surface of the piano top. 

“Julie…” 

“Luke? ” she matched his nearly quiet volume… 

His attention diverged briefly to her journal, reading the lyrics she had spent all night writing, “Now, I, uh, definitely should have gotten you something...” 

“You… you did. You so did, Luke,” She poked at the weathered composition pages, “You brought music back to me. Everything you said- about the connection, how it makes you feel- You reminded me why I loved it so much.”

Combating the deafening beating of her heart, Julie scooted closer to him, “In fact, you reminded me about… a lot of things actually...” 

“Like what?” 

“Like how much I love being here in L.A. Love being with my family,” she said, her fingers leaving the piano, dropping down to her lap, tip-toeing towards Luke’s stationed in the space between them. 

His hand made the same dance towards hers, “And?” 

“Like how much I love, just _love_ , Christmas,” 

Julie could feel her head angling forward, her voice dropping back to that whisper. Luke did the same. 

“Yeah?” 

“And did I say music already?” she asked, her soft exhales blowing against Luke’s long lashes, their efforts for close proximity no longer subtle, “How much I love music?” 

He bit his lip, “Yes. Yes you did,”

“Reminded me… just how much…” her gaze followed the slope of his nose, down to his lips, “I love…” she trailed off, her own voice sounding already so far away. 

Their noses were touching, and although eyes were very much planted on hers, he finally acknowledged her shirt, “You said you threw it out. ” 

“I’ve always had it,” 

“This whole time?” 

She nodded, bringing her brown eyes to bore deep into his hazel- 

“Of course,” 

That was the push. 

Both of them surged forward to close the gap. Julie couldn’t discern who broke first, who captured who in an electric joining of their mouths, but she didn’t care, losing herself in the sensation that was Luke. 

Their kiss, as tempered as their duet, which was to say, was not tempered whatsoever.

There was a need, an urgency in the way their lips moved against each other, seeking to resolve 3 years’ worth of tension, everything happening between them building up to this moment- finally. 

Their lips would meet then break apart, then meet again, unwittingly paralleling their relationship- breaking apart and coming back together, never straying far, regretting the departure upon remembering just how sweet it was to give in and just _collide_. 

His hands roamed all over, having once been clutching her hair, now trailing down to her waist where he summoned her even closer.

She took it as an invitation to raise herself and settle on his lap. In turn, her fingers remained in his hair, brushing against his neck, sending him shivering against her. 

Every touch placed was one made with years worth of knowledge of the other person’s body, years of them holding each other, exploring each other (as far as their middle school selves could think of). 

Yet, amongst the history, there was something new thrown in the mix, and Julie couldn’t place it, something telling her that there was still more left to explore, which terrified her and excited her all at the same time.

To never tire, to never be bored of a person- 

They both had changed, both racked up different experiences from each other and yet- 

Here they were, still wanting one another. 

This was unlike all the times in Seattle, it wasn’t some blast from the past meant to revisit and maybe put to rest.

No, there was promise in the air. Seattle had been a dream, this was them bringing it to reality- no need for a bubble. This was it. This could be it. Every day if they chose to. 

So close they could taste it, with each swipe of the tongue and union of their lips. Oh, how Julie loved how it tasted. Damn.

She could get drunk off of this, her head already in a spin, latching onto him tighter and he couldn’t deny her. 

But it had to end at one point, when the need for air became too great to continue. A loud, labored gasp spilled out of her once they parted, their foreheads butting together. 

Seconds passed where they had to regain their breathing pattern, but they still held onto each other, their closeness too good to ever pass up now that they had it. 

Luke’s half-lidded eyes have yet to move from her lips, now glowing a faint red and Julie swooped in to fulfill his clear desire. He shifted his head last minute and she drew back. 

“Julie, I-” he grew cautious, his quiet voice rumbled against her cheek, “I-I don’t want to mess this up again.”

She smiled, knowing just how he felt, “Me neither. But... we’re gonna be ok.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do. C’mon now, Luke,” Humor in her eyes, she gently directed his head so that they were face to face once more- 

“Have a little faith,”

Luke’s melodic laugh fanned her face, “I could kiss you again just for that,” And he nearly did, but stopped himself again, “But your crowd-” 

“I don’t care what they think,” 

“Really?” 

“Cut them loose anyway. Only real friends remain. And they’re rooting for us. Why do you think Nick was there tonight?” 

“Oh right,” his expression turned sour for a second, “ _Nick_ was there.” 

She giggled, “Yeah. I asked for his help. He not only got me into the venue but he was able to film the whole thing. He’s gonna ‘accidentally’ send it to Kayla.” 

“But that girl can’t keep anything quiet-” Luke’s eyes widened, his words catching up with him. 

Julie smirked, “Exactly,” 

“You didn’t,” 

Oh she so did. Again, all part of the plan… 

“I’d imagine that it would be circulating the school social scene right about now,” 

Luke beheld her like some sort of goddess. Or a maniac. Or both. 

“Y-You’re insane,” 

(The latter it was then…)

“By this time tomorrow, everyone in Los Feliz is gonna know just how crazy Julie Molina is for Luke Patterson,” she declared, very pleased. 

She was done hiding. Luke was not some secret, not some person who would come between her and her perfect reputation. He was someone to show off, someone to be proud of for all that he had done. 

She wanted the whole world to know how lucky she would be if she got to be Luke Patterson’s girl. 

Luke just had one more question: “But Brad?” 

“Punched him in the face,” 

“God, is it weird that makes me want to kiss you even more now?” 

She didn’t bother teasing, reaching forward and kissing him, more languid and slower this time around, more pauses between their meeting of the lips, long enough to whisper each other’s names into the other’s mouth.

After a while of this, the mood grew somber, the sound of Julie’s name breaking through like an almost cry. 

Luke pulled away again, hands cradling her face, “Julie, I’ve- I’ve been kicking myself for letting you go..” 

“No. I let _you_ go,” she insisted, “Not only that, but I pushed you away. You’ve been the one fighting so hard for this. For us. So it’s my turn. This is me fighting for us. This is me asking: Luke…” 

Slowly, she wrapped her hands around his wrists, moving them so she could take each hand and lock them against hers. She regarded him, eyes hopeful. 

“...can we try again?” 

Luke stared at their conjoined hands, taken aback, “Julie-”

“I can’t promise that it’s gonna be smooth sailing. I can’t promise we won’t fight because, come on, we’re us. But what I can promise is late night songwriting sessions. The ones where you fall asleep on the piano and I have to kick you awake,” 

Julie brushed away Luke’s bangs that had clung onto his forehead, keeping a tender touch along his cheek, his eyes fluttered closed at the contact. 

“I promise to keep checking your food for walnuts so you don’t swell up like a balloon,” she kept going, “I promise to buy you CDs so you don’t rack up fines at the library like crazy.”

His chuckle came out as a choke and she faltered. 

“I-I promise to be front row, to every show, screaming your lyrics from the top of my lungs. I promise to be there, to hold you, let you cry on my shoulder when life gets too much,”

At this her thumb rubbed at the underside of his chin. She could feel him trembling. 

“And if-” she sniffled, eyes moist, driving it home “any of that makes the bad times all worth it, then I think we can be happy. I hope that I can make you happy. So, please. What do you say?” 

The last word barely left her lips when Luke dove in for another flurry of kisses. 

“I’m…” Julie pulled away, her laughs getting cut off by Luke’s mouth on the corner of her lips “... taking... that- woah… as…. a... yes?” 

“Yes, yes,” he placed a kiss on her cheek. Then another on her nose, “A million times yes.” He retreated, “I’m so so sorry-” 

“Shh. No, Luke. It’s okay-” 

“But I gotta say it. I need to say it. Can’t let songs do the talking for me. You need to know,” 

He swallowed audibly, out of bounds in regards to spilling his feelings, but he carried on, rushing through his sentences before it started to make less sense. 

“I’m sorry for letting you think, even for a minute, that you could do something to make me not love you. Julie, you can straighten your hair, look like a Barbie, never sing again, drive so goddamn slow-” 

She pouted at that, “Hey!” 

“-I don’t care. Do whatever you want. I should have known that whenever you grow and change, you’re always gonna be you. You’re still Julie,” he tucked strands of hair behind her ear, his thumb grazing her cheek, “ _My Jules.”_

“God, I’ve missed you so much, Luke. These last few years. That was 3 years of not getting to hold your hand, not seeing that smile that makes me so weak, of not staying up all night to write songs, not being there to celebrate your victories. Not being there for you when everything’s gone to shit. And I can’t-” 

She broke off- God, let her not cry. She could not cry. Or else she couldn’t get through what she needed to say… 

“I can’t go back to that. I can’t go another day without you. I’m not letting any more time go to waste, not when I feel for you this much,” 

“And how do you feel?” 

She smiled, amidst the tears of joy threatening to fall. 

“Like I’m coming home,”

It was true. As cheesy as it was. 

Never had traveling with another person made her feel like she was already where she needed to be… 

Luke’s blinding smile hit her as their noses budged, already primed for what was most likely going to be another makeout session.

“Just to warn you. I’m gonna be kissing you a lot before the night is over,” her now boyfriend murmured. 

She certainly wasn’t protesting that, “We _do_ have 3 years of kisses to catch up on.”

“I’m ready to collect,” He winked at her. 

She scoffed, “You’re ridiculous,”

“But you love me for it,” 

“I do,” 

Upon hearing her say that, and knowing now that she meant it, Luke, all too eager, kept pressing forward, sending her giggling and angling her head to push back while they kissed. 

Oh she could get used to this-- the kissing, the joking, the singing...

Holy shit, it finally registered that she was with Luke now. Officially. They were together- boyfriend and girlfriend. The thought made her giddy. 

She was so freakin’ happy in these last few minutes with Luke than she ever had been in all the three years with Brad. Hell, it had only taken two days for Julie to fall right back in love with Luke. 

Now she wondered why she would ever think any other guy could ever compare to Luke. 

Luke who had been there for her since kindergarten, who had split his chocolate chip cookie with her and had become the best of friends. Who had been with her through her awkward years- who had always found her beautiful despite all that. 

The first one to call her out when she slipped up. The first one to cheer her on in whatever she set out to do. 

He did, really did make her better, grounding her and lifting her up all at the same time. Someone to dream with. And someone to come home too, this perfect balance. 

She really was so goddamn lucky. 

Luke noticed her ‘face’ upon pulling away for air. He booped her on the nose, “Now what are you thinking about?” 

Julie let herself sport a goofy smile, “Just wondering how is it possible that you’re both the anchor and the sail?”

“Damn, that’s a good line,” he whistled, the lyricist in him really feeling it. 

“I know right? Let me just-”

She wiggled out of Luke’s arms long enough to grab the pen from the piano to jot it down, but Luke dragged her back and she squealed, dropping everything onto the floor. 

_“Later,”_ Then he peppered her face with kisses. 

“Just real- just real quick-” 

“Don’t care,” 

“It would- _oh_ \- make a killer song,” she tried getting out, Luke barely giving her the chance to speak, leaving sweet kisses near her jaw. 

“Can we,” _kiss_ “ not talk,” _kiss_ “about music” _kiss kiss_ “right now?” 

She gaped, wrenching herself away from his lips for just a second, “ _Luke Patterson?_ Did you really just say that?” 

To show he meant business, he slammed the piano lid down and hoisted her on top of it, promptly kissing her square on the mouth. 

“What happened… to not wasting time?” his heady rasps stirred something primal inside her. 

It was gonna be hard to resist this boy. 

“Slow down, Patterson,” she grinned, stealing another few short pecks from his lips, her arms wrapping around his neck, legs bordering his waist, “I mean, we got all night to catch up...” 

“No you don’t,” 

_Holy shit!_

Julie screamed at the sound of the new voice and slipped off the piano, sending her and Luke (also screaming) falling back onto the bench, finding purchase on his lap while he steadied the both of them. 

_“Carlos!”_ They cried in unison, noting the kid’s sudden appearance in the studio. 

_What was he doing up?_

_And why now? Seriously? Mood killer!_

Her brother waltzed in, rocking his PJ’s (and his new dinosaur slippers) and took one look at her and Luke tangled up in each other on the bench. 

“First of all: ew,” he commented, exaggerating his queasiness with the typical retching noises. 

Julie was too horrified to move. Her brother had just walked in on her and Luke making out on the piano, she just- oh my god.

This was so humiliating. Like seriously, she couldn’t think of anything worse than this. 

“Second of all, as nice as it is that you made up. Dad’s wondering why a bunch of guys are hiding out outside of the studio, clearly spying on you,” 

She stood corrected. 

Willing that whatever was going to happen should _not_ happen, Julie’s eyes bugged out of her head as, one by one the band, sheepishly appeared from behind the opened double doors. 

“Oh my god,” Luke bemoaned, pinching the bridge of his nose at the sight of his friends. 

“Carlos, come on! You didn’t need to rat us out like that!” Reggie crossed his arms, offended by being exposed. The only one really, Alex and Bobby managed to appear somewhat guilty for having been caught, 

“How long have you guys been there?!” Julie demanded, “What happened to being at the Orpheum?!” 

“Uh-” 

“-Well-” 

“We were looking for the kitchen?” Bobby weakly offered. 

Alex smacked him upside the head. He apologized profusely to both Luke and Julie, “This is weird, I know. I mean if it makes you feel better, we only really heard the singing.” 

“But we _did_ see the kissing,” Cue a slap for Reggie. 

“So…” Bobby rubbed the back of his head, wearing a shit-eating grin, “better than Brad, huh?” 

Julie’s face broke out in a deep red and she buried her head into Luke’s neck, “I’m dying. I swear, I am dead. This cannot be happening.” 

“Guys!” Luke reprimanded, rubbing his girlfriend’s back soothingly, “Not cool!” 

“Can you guarantee that _this_ …” her hand motioned at wherever the boys were, she couldn’t tell, her eyes were closed, wishing she was anywhere but here this very moment, “...won’t happen in the future?” 

“Hey, if you’re gonna be dating Luke, you’re dating all of us too!” she heard Reggie confidently proclaim. 

“Reg, no, that’s not-” Alex sighed, giving up, “.. okay.” 

Julie lifted her head, looking to Carlos, “Do we need to kick them out?” 

“Nah. Dad says that they can come in to eat. Like, you guys came straight here after your gig?” 

The band nodded, “Guilty.” 

“Come on,” Carlos herded them off towards the house, “We still have cookies.” 

Reggie was absolutely flabbergasted. He turned to Alex and Bobby, ushering them up the garden steps, “Geez, guys how many did you make while we were gone?” 

“Bobby here, all cocky and everything, read the recipe wrong-” 

“No, you were distracted by your new boyfriend to measure the ingredients right-” 

“Not my boyfriend!” 

“Yet! I swear he will be if it’s the last thing I do-” 

“Stop getting invested in our love lives! Focus on your own- _oh wait_ ,” 

That was the last piece of dialogue Julie heard past the gate, but from the sounds of a scuffle that immediately followed, she could only assume the two were engaged in some sort of roughhousing. 

Julie expected nothing less.

“Your friends are weird, Reggie…” Carlos commented, “I like them,” 

“Thanks, little man. Now, let’s give your sister and my boy here some privacy,” 

“But not too much privacy. We will be watching you from the kitchen window. So,” his fingers, in a V formation, directed to his eyes then Luke’s “no funny business, mister.” 

“Okay, now _I’m_ mortified,” And with that, Luke took her off his lap, not wanting any more ammunition to be used against them, “Am I seriously getting the shovel talk from an 11 year old?” 

“What _are_ your intentions with my sister anyway?” 

Luke yelped, his whole body might have transformed beet red, “I, er, uh-” 

“I’m messin’ with you,” Her brother clapped him in the shoulder, “It’s good to have you back though.” 

‘Great to be back, Carlos,” 

And with a small salute, Carlos and Reggie climbed up the steps and entered the house. 

“Er, so, raincheck on the kissing you senseless?” Luke said, standing up from the bench, offering his hand. No use in continuing once the mood had officially died and been laid to rest. 

She took it, and they ambled out of the studio, but not before shutting the lights and returning her mom’s guitar to its stand. 

“Yeah, let’s get inside. I think now is a good time to finally tell my dad what happened on the trip. Maybe he’ll be less mad when we have company over.” 

They closed the doors, “I like the way you think, boss,” 

“Please keep calling me boss,” 

“Oh, you like it?” 

“I sure do...baby,” she said, trying out the new term of endearment, blushing a little as she did. 

It seemed to have its intended effect because Luke was all the sudden crowding her space, leaning down “Damn, Jules...” 

_“We can still see you!”_

_“You’re taking forever!”_

_“Come on!”_

Luke groaned, not appreciating another interruption, but this time Julie found it funny. Yep, this was how it was gonna be it seemed. 

Together, hand-in-hand, they walked up the steps and past the gate, relishing in each other’s touch- just as exciting as their fair share of kisses from earlier. 

“Now let’s get our story straight, shall we?” Julie proposed, “We will definitely be redacting a few parts-” 

“Like the entirety of Stanford?” 

“Oh no, he needs to know how rotten Brad is and how you defended my honor. Oh, and Flynn and how awesome she is,” 

“He can _not_ know about the dancing,” 

“Of course,” 

“Or riding with strangers to and from a creepy gas station at night,” 

“Yup,” 

“And also the run in with police,” 

“Now you’re just taking out all the exciting parts,” 

Luke looked at her incredulously, “Do you _want_ to be grounded?” 

“What is he gonna do? Take away my car? Boohoo,” she shrugged. Consequences be damned. 

“We can’t let you get grounded. We have plans,” 

“Plans?” 

They arrived at the front porch when Luke had them stop, “My folks wanna see you. Would want to thank you in person for what you did to bring me home. Swing by for dinner?” 

“I would love to see them,” She was looking forward to seeing the Pattersons. It had been a while, “Definitely need a refresher on baby Luke pics-” 

“ _Aaand_ I’m regretting it instantly,” 

“Hey, cute then. Cute now," she patted his head, "But no seriously, I got you.” 

“Oh, that’s not all,”

They skipped up the steps, now on the porch where the colorful, luminescent display hung over their heads.

“Now that I have money and can drive- I’ll be able to take you out on proper dates. Officially upgrading from pizza bites and hanging around in your living room.”

“But that’s exactly what we’re gonna be doing now,” She said, peeking into the window and noting how her dad, Carlos, and the guys now congregated in the living room, waiting for the new couple to grace them with their presence. 

“This doesn’t count as a date. The guys are here,” 

“Really? But what about what Reggie said? If I’m dating you, I’m dating all of them,” she teased. 

Luke made a face,.

“Alright, don’t complain when we go to the movies and have to sit through Reggie talking during the whole thing, Alex hogging the popcorn, and Bobby snoring because a movie can never hold his attention for that long,” 

“Sounds fun already. Might as well bring Carlos too. He’s a seat kicker,” 

“I can already tell that _this_ ,” he pointed between the two of them, "is gonna be much more interesting this time around.”

“Couldn't agree with you more,” Julie went to open the door, but Luke lingered out on the porch, “What is it?” 

"Need to say something,"

"Yeah?" 

Luke smiled, sneaking another kiss, wrapping his arms around her waist, “Merry Christmas, Julie.” 

This dork, she thought fondly, admiring the way the reds and greens of the lights danced across his face. 

On her tip-toes she pressed another kiss to his lips, returning the sentiment. 

“Merry Christmas, Luke," 

.

.

.

THE END

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We have finally reached the end (apart from the epilogue). 
> 
> Thank you so much for showing support for this story. Couldn't believe that I completed a fic. This really is a huge accomplishment for me and it really wouldn't have happened if it weren't for your comments, kudos, and replies. 
> 
> A lot of kissing in this one for sure. I got a little carried away (much like Luke and Julie have). 
> 
> And I did change a line in 'Perfect Harmony' to fit the narrative a tad bit better. 
> 
> And yeah... so I think that's it. Tune in for the epilogue coming at some point. It will be very fun, trust me.


End file.
